aCOPalypse
rating: +37+x

Agent Chao of the ☽☽☽ Initiative reporting.

blackqueenwalking has joined.

Hi, I'm Black Princess Alison


Baseline

An aCOPalypse event (I came up with the name :p) refers to an apocalyptic event either caused by or directly related to law enforcement. No other commonalities? Not really, its manifestations are a bit all over the place. The only pattern I've seen is cops fucking shit up, but what else is new I would thank you to keep such personal opinions outside of official documentation. "official documentation"? lmao keep it in your pants moon fascist.

Prerequisites

The existence of law enforcement as a normalized and mandated system in over 60% of nations across the globe.

So just cops existing? not a ritual gone wrong, or a fucked up experiment or anything like that? As far as we know, yes, along with the prerequisites for the existence of law enforcement and corresponding infrastructure. yeah, no shit. There may be other factors at play, but we at the Three Moons Initiative have yet to uncover any. Honestly that's a bit disappointing would you say it's a bit of a cop-out?

Vulnerability

Abolish the police! ACAB! Be serious! OK but actually though that's the only way we know of to prevent the aCOPalypse, and we haven't found any way of stopping it once it's started My timeline's still hanging on, at least mine too, for now While both your timelines have thus far managed to impede the event, with no permanent solution they will inevitably fall, thus has spoken JALAKÅRA. Hey well fuck you loony, and ol' Spider-beard too. This is a formal notice that you have been sentenced to a millennium of hard labor. Ha! good one She's not kidding, but her and the moonies are also literally dead, so no worries there lol. We prefer to be called by the scientific name, Homo Sapiens Invictus. yeah and I prefer not to be told off by a moon nazi, but here we are. This antagonism towards the Three Moons Initiative as well as the great and honorable JALAKÅRA is completely baseless, and entirely inappropriate. You know what you did, don't pretend otherwise.


Instance: Timeline A-312:

Currently a part of Operation Conan Doyle by the Three Moons Initiative. A PK-Class Narrative Layer Collapse Event involving an onslaught of fictional law enforcement is causing major chaos in not just one but TWO narrative layers. …what the fuck are you talking about. Basically fictional cops invaded. What, like, the Paw Patrol, Columbo and shit? That doesn't sound too bad. All characters have vastly increased levels of aggression from their baseline behavior. (they're bloodlusted) right, thank you for simplifying for the sake of the less educated among us. It is also worth noting that there are a lot more fictional cops than one may first imagine. Still can't get over the fuckin Paw Patrol lmao The Paw Patrol mauled twenty children to death …oh my god what she's saying is the afterlife fascists couldn't handle Chief Wiggum and a bunch of puppies lol.

Instance: Timeline C-1569:

From what I've gathered, this one operates under a sort of "zombie apocalypse" type rules: if you get arrested, you're a cop now. Is that memetic or something? Results are inconclusive on that front, though we have observed spikes in Hume levels on that Earth, so our analysts leading theory is that reality bending is the root cause here. Has there been any progress halting the event? In a manner of speaking. There is a rebellion led by, and I can not believe I am saying this, Gun Metal Gary. who's that now? The zombie loser with the guns? no way. I can honestly say I am just as surprised as you are. Who would even follow that guy? The group consists primarily of rural populations with more traditionally conservative political views. Who are you trying to impress, just say rednecks, gods JALAKÅRA 13:4 Exactness is a virtue, all praise to JALAKÅRA! micromanaging boss,ay? can't relate, seeing as I'm not part of a self-styled multiversal junta Can we get back on topic? Right, sorry. Oh! Hey doesn't this guy have some sort of natural memetic repellent? Was that somehow affected by this? Cross-reality analysis of him does seem to show a typical lack of associates. It's possible the anomaly somehow altered this property, or that he's unique among all his variants, but personally I think people are just desperate enough to put up with it. that's kind of sad you wouldn't say that if you'd ever met him Yes, from my observations, it seems that a situation with him as its best solution is unlikely to end well for anyone. oh yeah that place is fucked for sure.

Instance: Timeline A-50:

Ahhhhhh, shithole sweet shithole. It's a real trashfire but ever since somebody severed us from the Multiverse nobody can escape, can't even visit the Library any more I stand by the decision to exclude this sector from the rest of the multiverse. It was a clear and present danger to the universes under Three Moons protection, and I have not lost any sleep over it. really? you don't feel bad at all just throwing us to the wolves without even trying to help? To repeat myself, no, the resources were better spent on more stable civilizations, and the people of your universe are too primitive to have a chance of finding a fix of your mistake, before the memeplex spread over the multiverse like a plague. Honestly I'm surprised you're able to communicate with us at all. Oh so that's how it is? well listen here fucko HEY, I can see that tensions are high between you two, but we're never going to get anywhere with you two at each others throats. This is important to me, and I know it's important to both of you too, so can we do this right? Alright, alright, fine Princess, I'll try to play nice, but you owe me.

Anyway, as Officer Fun-times over there mentioned, we got hit pretty hard with an aggressive meme complex. We're not sure where it came from exactly, and with most of the global internet infrastructure down it's damn near impossible to, but from what bones dug up it was some kind of lame pro-cop meme, designed to make the zoomers more pro-authority or whatever, but instead it fucked everyone's brains into some sort of dumbass pig hivemind. Sounds rough, how'd you manage to avoid that? by being awesome as fuck 😎. Nah, but actually, me and the other GAW folx inoculated ourselves against lots of different memes, so we could actually enjoy each others dankest ones without bleeding from the eyes or whatever. I guess one of those protected us? Probably doesn't hurt that we're not a bunch of bootlickers. It is possible that the anti-authoritarian nature of the psyches of Gamers Against Weed members conferred some amount of memetic resistance. hell yeah! And then after that, when the aCOPalypse first started going viral, it was obvious real fast that things were fucked, plus the internet went out, so most of us started heading towards Kenowhere to hide out there. Now that was a fuckin adventure: babes, booze, boomerangs, the whole shebang …boomerangs? For the love of JALAKÅRA please don't encourage her or we will never get anywhere. fine. spoilsport.

Right so long story short: I met up with some other GAW peeps and we trekked cross-country to Kenowhere, and we're here now. see? boring as hell when I have to say it like that. did you run into any other surviving communities? now that you mention it, we did run into a squad of GOC soldiers led by some dude named Ayers. They… didn't make it. Bought us the time we needed to fully cloak Kenowhere and died rather than join the horde. I was never a fan of the GOC but those guys were pretty cool. So now me, GAW and the other Kenowhere peeps are hanging tight, trying to design a countermeme and figure out how to propagate it. Well, Ester and bones are, mostly. The rest of us don't hold a candle to those two in either department. It's slow going, but we've got this place pretty self-sustaining, and we have Mr.Destiny, so hopefully we won't be "fellow kids"ed into oblivion. Ugh, this really is the lamest possible apocalypse.

Instance: Timeline B-5558

My universe. On October 14th 2020 at 17:00 , all law enforcement on Earth vanished. excuse me, but are you really telling me all the cops fucking poofed out of existence and that's somehow a problem while I'm over here stuck hiding out from the shitty borg, cut off from the multiverse, with no modern plumbing or video games? I'd have paid to live in a world like yours before mine went to shit. Officer Charles Gears is counted among the missing in this timeline Aw jeez, I'm sorry Alison, I didn't know. Maybe I went a bit far there, it's a rough situation where I am but that's no excuse for taking it out on you, or minimizing your own shit. We all know what it's like to lose a loved one, err obviously, look, what I'm trying to say, is I may be a bit of a dickhead, but I'm here for you, if you need me sis, whatever little bit I can do to help. Ditto for me, and the resources allocated to me for this project.

Thank you all. My universe definitely isn't in too tough of a spot yet, especially compared to blackqueenwalking's, but, well, I miss my dad. We never really saw eye to eye on, well, a lot of things. We'd fight, he'd have his shitty political beliefs, and I'm no more a fan of law enforcement than the rest of you, but he's my dad, and I love him despite it all. I don't believe he's dead, and if he isn't, then neither are any of the other many thousands who are loved and missed by somebody out there. So, I'm going to keep on trying to find him, and all the others, and I hope you'll be able to help me out. Okay, but don't think for a second I'm not going to punch a bunch of pigs out when we find them I have already submitted an information request form for the mortality status of the Charles Ogden Gears of this timeline, and intend to assist to my fullest capacity as a member of this organization. thanks guys, that means a lot of course, what else is family for?

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