Ace Of Hearts
rating: +68+x

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

Hey, I'm John, nice to meet you.

Hey John. I'm Justine, but you can call me Jay.

Alright, Jay. It's a pleasure.

Mine as well.

So what's a classy person such as yourself doing in a place like this?

The same thing you're doing; hoping to meet someone I could possibly go on a date with.

Good, good… So what are you looking for in a relationship exactly?

Someone who is understanding of me and my, uh, idiosyncrasies.

What do you mean?

It's complicated.

Well, you've piqued my interest.

My mom always worried I would wind up alone.

I guess she was right to worry about me. It's not that I haven't tried. I've tried dating apps, I've seen people here and there, it just— never really felt right for me. It always seemed like the ultimate end goal for all these relationships was sex in one way or another. I get it. I really do. Sex can be seen as the culmination of affection and love becoming physical and tangible in a way. Some people find that beautiful, but I personally… I dunno. I find it kinda gross to be perfectly honest, haha.

I wasn't always like this. There was a time when I was open to the idea of sex, but in practice, it would always bother me in the back of my mind and I guess I ignored it. For years. Years! Can you believe that? I buried a fundamental aspect of myself so deep into my subconscious I didn't figure out I was asexual until my late twenties. But I guess some people figure things out much later than that. I just can't believe it took me that long; I liked to think I knew myself rather well.

It really took me a while to accept it though. I felt like I was wrong. I mean, millions of years of evolution only for me to not feel like it? To make my bloodline die with me? My mother really wanted grandkids. She wanted someone to spoil rotten and love and go to little league games to cheer for or sell girl scout cookies with. Or something. Whatever it is grandparents do. I feel really bad that I denied her that experience, but… I'm supposed to come first, aren't I? I need to take care of me.

But taking care of me is something I'm not exactly the best at, heh. I won't bore you with the details, but let's just say I've been in my fair share of toxic relationships in the past. My most recent one, for example. My ex was a very amicable and easy to get along with type of person. Everything seemed great at first, up until we got a few months into the relationship. They got upset that I wasn't initiating any sexual advances on them or responding to their own. They thought they weren't enough for me and it spiraled into a big fight. Anyway, we both left that argument single, even though I don't think they understood that I'm just not built to respond to that kind of thing or engage in them.

It's not that I want to be alone; rather the opposite. I long for companionship just as much as the next person. Like Nat King Cole said, the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. I'm kind of a hopeless romantic in a way, too! I love doing all that dumb couple stuff like going out on dates and wearing dumb matching t-shirts. I just don't want to engage in sex.

But anyways, that's why I'm here. I'm looking for someone who will understand and accept me as I am.

Anyway, I'm sorry I've chatted for so long, why don't you tell me abou-

Alright speed daters, that's all the time we've got for this round.

Odd numbers, let's move one table to the left and meet your new potential partner!

Yeesh, I was just looking for something quick, not your life's story.

I'm sorry. Goodbye.

Jay stood outside of the community center, taking in the cold winter air as their coat's right arm sleeve billowed in the wind. They looked up at the sky, only to find it empty. The city's light pollution had rendered the stars invisible. Jay sighed and moved towards the car they had borrowed to come down from the Site, an old '99 Impala. After fumbling with the keys for a moment, they unlocked the driver's door and took a seat, shutting the door behind them.

Another speed dating event with no one interested in them. It didn't hurt, not much, anyway. But the sting of rejection was still there, like an old scar flaring up. Jay was numb to it. They were numb to a lot of things lately, but one feeling rose above them all; the familiar sensation of loneliness.

A few of the newly paired couples left the community center, talking to one another. Some were being led to their cars by their newly found partners, others stuck around the sidewalk to talk.

Jay shut their eyes, trying to swallow their emotions. One minute. Two minutes. Three, four, and finally, five. Jay's eyes opened, feeling the vibration of a cell phone against their thigh. They reached into their pant pocket and retrieved the device, opening it up to read the incoming messages.

10:03 PM 1/11/2018


I made some mai tais for the research team. Want me to save you some?

u can tell us about how your thing went

if u want. no pressure.

Jay smiled. At least they had their friends. Jay put the keys in the ignition, then took hold of the wheel. The car backed out of the parking lot and continued on to Site-55.


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