Name: Alex Ron Doe
Security Clearance: Level 1
Position: Your friendly neighborhood janitor
History: Mr. Ron Doe was found aimlessly wandering the streets of [REDACTED] during the containment breach of SCP-████. After being subsequently harassed for its possessions by SCP-████, he was then subdued by present Agents, who managed to contain SCP-████ after offering various assorted fruits to it.
Prior to their scheduled administration of amnestics, Mr. Ron Doe mentioned that he was a musician and composer, and would prefer to not forget how to properly play a kettle drum. After several hours of deliberation, it was then agreed that he could take up the position of janitor at Site-30, and occasionally perform during lunch and break hours. However, staff were not informed of Mr. Ron Doe's love of the atonal, minimalistic, aleatoric, and pretty much any damn avant-garde genre of music. He was subsequently booed off the stage during his first performance of Music for 18 Musicians for being unable to simultaneously play two marimbas. Due to this incident, Mr. Ron Doe has chosen not to respond to any negative criticism towards his music unless he is holding a microphone.
Articles Filed:
- SCP-1940 - The Anywhere Store
- SCP-1920 - Turbine of the Future!
- SCP-1490 - Animal Sculptor
- SCP-1740 - Playgrounded
- SCP-1530 - A Bender's Friends
- SCP-1860 - Its Bleeding Song
- SCP-1580 - Recycling Leaves
- SCP-2990 - Silently Soaring
- SCP-2530 - The Emerald Choir
- SCP-2760 - Eccentric Flailing Air-Powered Dragons
- SCP-2940 - The Light Courier
- SCP-2395 - $585.98
- SCP-2695 - Lucibelle Perhacs
- SCP-2825 - Jacob Perhacs
- SCP-2745 - Linda Perhacs
Events Filed:
Articles Mr. Ron Doe assisted in filing:
File Info:
- Image Archives, in which Mr. Ron Doe managed to obtain moderator status through arson legal means.
How the hell did this guy actually get these anything here approved? - Dr. September
Mr. Ron Doe has requested the transfer of Dr. September to Site-██.
He's god-awful at music. Have you even heard him perform 4'33"? Somehow, he managed to mess it up. - Dr. Cage
Mr. Ron Doe has requested the removal of Dr. Cage from his position as a researcher.
He begged me for help on writing these up. Christ, you should have seen the grammar errors alone. - Dr. D.H. Aeslinger, Psy.D.
Mr. Ron Doe has requested the termination of all personnel that were asked to help forge his reports.
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Table of Contents
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SCP-1940 — The First of Many
After my first SCP went down (a mirrored elevator with a ghost apparition or something), I was slightly discouraged. I used one of my fears to make this, but it had still crashed and burned, due to my lack of experience. Though I guess I wouldn't say "crashed and burned", it was more like "slowly cooked to a crisp in the oven". Still, I looked at each piece of advice given to me, and moved on.
I then got the idea for this on my way to my next class. There was a bathroom next to another building, but not exactly connected to it. I remembered how much junk was kept in there for storage, and wondered if we should sell it all— and that was where I got the idea. After writing it out and having it kicked off the main list (again), Scantron suggested a humorous approach to the idea, and Crayne helped me rewrite it, making it what it is today. Notably, Reject also shared a thought that inspired me to create Light Courier Enterprises.
SCP-1920 — Courier Enterprises
After the initial success of 1940, I was excited to write another article, and my eyes fell upon this old science project I'd made.
Crayne swooped in after an initial posting, liking the idea and helping me tighten it up. I had begun to get more confident in my writing skills, but like Crayne said, I was still missing some details which were quite important in making a solid SCP. I cannot stress enough how important perseverance and feedback are in making a successful article, because that's what got this to stay up.
SCP-1490 — An Artisan's Child
The inspiration for this was from a nightmare. I'd rather not disclose on all the details, but it was essentially a giant, costumed, big-headed humanoid that morphed people into animal shapes.
That dream pretty much made up what I wanted it to be, with a little backstory behind it to supplement it. This was also my first draft that didn't get a line by line review; I felt like throwing it around chat helped it the most. Chat was also where people suggested some ideas on where to take the story.
SCP-1740 — "That's evil. I Love Guillotine"
This was created for the 5-word challenge by Dmatix, and I gotta say I enjoyed writing this one. I admit the words were a bit easy (playground, number, saliva, prison, guillotine) but I'm still happy with how this turned out.
I also wanted an excuse to use LCE again, so I thought: "Why not have them make a system to prepare their children for their corrupted world?" Some parent in a sheltered society had to think of some way to show their kid that life was going to suck.
SCP-1640 — Myth Reborn
So I went on chat late at night, and found Meserach using a random word generator for another member, who was making ideas on the spot. I joined in, and eventually the words "satellite" and "rabbit" came up. I suggested a rabbit with a little den in a satellite, and others in chat pushed for Meserach to use it, which he reluctantly dropped in his sandbox. .
Time passed, and Meserach still hadn't written a draft. So I started to work on it myself, and posted it to lots of "meh". After stagnating in ratings, I took it down and rewrote it with help from Fantem, who suggested more dialogue from the rabbit.
The tale of the Rabbit in the Moon was my main inspiration.
SCP-1530 — A Prelude to Pitch Haven
This was my first article I put weeks of work into, starting from an animal abuse idea. It turned into a reality bender's pets, who were tormenting the one beating them.
Fantem's Pitch Haven canon was a heavy inspiration in making this, and all of his works as well. I don't consider this to be a proper end to Josephine's story, rather a branching path.
SCP-1860 — Sordid Sodden Singer
Herman-Fuller's Circus of the Disquieting was one of the first GOI to really captivate me. I've always wanted to write for another GOI, so I decided that Herman Fuller himself was slowly becoming like Wondertainment, and dabbling in creating anomalies. I imagine that he used sheet music to construct this, hence the ink and fibrous material. He thought it was subpar, gave it a little side tent for his circus, but slowly forgot about it in his excitement for finding more performers.
SCP-1580 — From Traffic to Tale
Originally conceptualized in a discussion about "stupid article ideas".
It was originally a society of leaves that thought they were in traffic. I thought I was happy with this article, but others pointed out the missed potential. So I rewrote it, mainly because I imagine a lot of fairy tales were made by anomalies. I'm glad I did now, since it felt too silly for its own good.
SCP-1544 — Collaboration, Contigo
bluesoul posted a gif of a fancy dancy rainbow slinky man in chat. I said I would write about it, Pendragon said he would write about it, and he proposed we collaborate. It was a long and arduous process, but we finished it.
To be honest, I wasn't as invested in this one as I wanted to be. It went in a direction that I wasn't altogether satisfied with, but Pendragon seemed happy with it, so I stuck with it.
SCP-2990 — An Intermezzo
I wanted to get back to writing after a long break, and felt like writing anything, so I took a picture and went to work with it. I took the opportunity to hint at the stories of the impoverished of LCE's dimension.
The location of 2990-A was chosen on purpose; they sort of avoided repeating history by escaping through that place. 2990-A wasn't the portal, really: it's just the location that people were entering into our world, while being ambushed. For now, every instance in our world is at peace.
The reason they became statues was an overly complex process I daydreamed up. Imagine that you've just entered the portal. You can feel yourself falling apart, not being torn limb by limb, more like fading away. You see a blue light, a strange voice. She says she can save you, but only a portion. Don't worry about payment, she just felt like doing it. Taking your mess of a consciousness, you enter a new world in a form that you don't quite understand. But that doesn't matter, because you're free.
SCP-550 — Grave Fetishists
I can't recall what motivated me to rewrite this one. (No, it wasn't the article number.) I think it's because it's methods of consuming corpses wasn't actually described, so I was left to imagine that myself. Somehow, I thought up a giant acidic mouth.
I imagined this SCP to once be a man with a latent biological anomaly in him. He tries to seek help, finds a cult that supposedly can heal him. Unfortunately, they're more interested in using what's in him to make a sacrifice, a suicide pact of sorts. Now he's stuck being this monster, waiting for whatever's in the other side of him to grow impatient.
SCP-2530 — Flesh and Clockwork Combined
The music was the main inspiration behind this article. I had been listening to Pogo's stuff for a while, and had just found Riverman's fantastic remixes of Pogo's classics. The arrangement of gentle clicks and coos gave me the impression of an ensemble of organic and artificial beings.
The background itself falls in the area of my headcanon for Josephine's childhood, which would be about as troubling as you could imagine for a child.
I have to give credit to Eskobar for suggesting I make a song instead of a speech, and for giving me a ton of feedback.
SCP-2760 — Back To Basics
My first successful coldpost. I wrote it bit by bit while taking a stay away from the site, reviewed it a bit myself, and posted it a week after I got back. Just goes to show that even when you've written ten articles, coldposting isn't easy.
I'm unsure where I was inspired to write this, other than the line "wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tubeman." I actually wanted to make this funny, mostly because the image of a majestic eastern dragon uncontrollably convulsing. Of course, a story sprouted from the idea, and developed into a dragon couple, confused by their existence, roaming aimlessly until being contained.nI haven't thought of an origin for this SCP (this is the first time it's happened), other than they simply came to exist. A universe with anomalies should have some of that, thrown in with all the deep stories we have on the site.
SCP-2940 — Where Canons Collide
This idea originally began with me wanting to write something like all the old scary articles with giant exploration logs. It then sort of evolved into a bunker, because the idea of being trapped forever underground is unnerving to me, moreso over periods of time. This is why I had the time "snapshots" in the article, though I had a lot of trouble describing how it worked.
I originally wanted some sort of gross monster, with angelic light and singing, to be the monster, mainly because I like that image. I then realized that the Pitch Haven side-plot I was developing didn't have a true ending for one of the protagonists, so I thought about it and incorporated Ananias.
Seeing as this article showed more effort does not equal more enjoyment for readers, I'm seeking different methods of approach for the concepts of articles, which is what I value most overall.
SCP-2395 - $҉ 585.98
I decided that Light Courier Enterprises wouldn't have announced their presence to the Foundation with something like 1940, so I wrote this up instead. It's a silly idea, with just an edge of serious: this is how LCE comes off to the Foundation. Something that seems stupid to us, which to them may mean a lot more.
I wrote this in the span of 3 days, after a long break. I didn't want anything too fancy to come back from a break, and obtained no critique beforehand.
Also want to note that I will never reveal the identity of prospective buyers of earth.
Recovered documentation, from instance of SCP-1920 previously located in China. Originally discovered by operative "Drewbear".
Light Courier Enterprises, Paving the Path to Hope!
Though it started out as a placeholder name for another group I had in mind, LCE has blossomed into a tiny little flower. It's not entirely clear what LCE is, other than a shadow of what it used to be. It could be several straggler groups work independently, only wanting life to become perfect again. It could be an actual organization with unknown goals. Or it could be something of both, with a greater power hanging over both types of people.
Light Courier Enterprises itself may or may not have been responsible for the events that befell its world. The remaining "people" are using LCE's name for several reasons:
1. They used to be an employee. This wasn't called "Enterprises" for nothing, and millions of employees required discipline beyond average regulations.
2. They're being a smartass. Worldwide quasi-corporations don't just exist without criticism, even in a utopia. These people want to control what's left, their way.
3. They want to rebuild LCE. Think something along the lines of the Enclave from Fallout 3; we have another group of people like that here.
4. They're shouting a cry of help. They hope someone will recognize LCE's name, and are trying to use the remaining experimental technology to get anyone or something to save them.
5. Etc, Etc, Etc. The remaining groups are all motivated by their own reasons. Some people may be even enjoying this chaos, and may want to spread it; others are curious about the existence of another world, not broken by power.
The anomalies in the world of LCE are often sent through dimensional-like means, or even temporal means. The power used to power the thousands of goods LCE produced destabilized the dimension itself, not unlike the Rat's Nest canon.
PM me if you'd like critique on an idea involving them, or need a line-by-line. I'm willing to be flexible with the article formats involving LCE; bronze plaques weren't the only thing LCE issued with their best products.
| Page Name | Author | Rating | Comments | Date Created | Recent Updates |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| SCP-8903 | -7 | 8 | 26 Sep 2024 21:15 | 02 Oct 2024 12:17 | |
| SCP-7914 | -7 | 1 | 08 Dec 2024 02:42 | 27 Dec 2024 10:08 | |
| SCP-8062 | -3 | 2 | 31 Dec 2024 16:02 | 31 Dec 2024 16:30 | |
| SCP-8063 | -3 | 1 | 01 Jan 2025 04:18 | 01 Jan 2025 04:21 | |
| Black Freighter, Black Sea | 3 | 1 | 14 Jan 2025 20:06 | 14 Jan 2025 20:06 | |
| SCP-8117 | 29 | 10 | 17 Jan 2025 16:48 | 22 Jan 2025 05:28 | |
| An Unusual Account | 1 | 5 | 27 Jan 2025 06:35 | 29 Jan 2025 03:52 | |
| Knowingly Committing A Crime | -3 | 0 | 11 Feb 2025 14:43 | 11 Feb 2025 16:08 | |
| A Song Of Praise For Karcist Alka | -4 | 2 | 15 Feb 2025 06:15 | 15 Feb 2025 06:15 | |
| Flash | 5 | 7 | 21 Feb 2025 16:14 | 28 Feb 2025 04:30 | |
| SCP-8881-J | 6 | 15 | 25 Feb 2025 16:42 | 27 Feb 2025 17:12 | |
| SCP-043-J | -4 | 16 | 25 Feb 2025 19:01 | 28 Feb 2025 07:24 | |
| Kin of Pandora | -5 | 1 | 05 Mar 2025 22:55 | 05 Mar 2025 23:04 | |
| Blind Hater | -6 | 0 | 07 Mar 2025 17:18 | 07 Mar 2025 17:18 | |
| SCP-8583 | -7 | 1 | 08 Mar 2025 02:35 | 20 Mar 2025 15:19 | |
| SCP-8187 | -7 | 0 | 13 Mar 2025 13:26 | 13 Mar 2025 13:31 | |
| Incident 8298-1 | -7 | 1 | 14 Mar 2025 06:28 | 14 Mar 2025 06:33 | |
| SCP-8704 | 22 | 6 | 16 Mar 2025 15:26 | 21 Mar 2025 12:09 | |
| Your Memory Will Carry On | 13 | 3 | 16 Mar 2025 21:02 | 17 Mar 2025 02:09 | |
| Demecha | 10 | 5 | 23 Mar 2025 02:43 | 23 Mar 2025 21:28 | |
| SCP-8545 | -9 | 2 | 23 Mar 2025 19:33 | 23 Mar 2025 19:41 | |
| SCP-8975 | -10 | 2 | 23 Mar 2025 21:51 | 23 Mar 2025 21:57 | |
| SCP-7461 | -11 | 2 | 24 Mar 2025 00:10 | 24 Mar 2025 01:44 | |
| キラー忍者 | -13 | 0 | 24 Mar 2025 22:17 | 24 Mar 2025 22:21 | |
| SCP-8162 | -16 | 9 | 24 Mar 2025 22:30 | 24 Mar 2025 23:47 | |
| SCP 8187 | -11 | 5 | 25 Mar 2025 00:38 | 25 Mar 2025 00:38 | |
| SCP-7758 | -9 | 2 | 25 Mar 2025 05:45 | 25 Mar 2025 07:51 | |
| SCP-8164 | -12 | 2 | 25 Mar 2025 06:56 | 25 Mar 2025 12:06 | |
| SCP-8208 | -8 | 0 | 25 Mar 2025 10:32 | 25 Mar 2025 15:19 | |
| SCP-8587 | -7 | 0 | 25 Mar 2025 12:28 | 25 Mar 2025 12:32 | |
| SCP-8972 | -9 | 0 | 25 Mar 2025 12:42 | 25 Mar 2025 12:44 | |
| SCP-8905 | -1 | 0 | 25 Mar 2025 15:09 | 25 Mar 2025 15:18 | |
| Containment breach-1A | 0 | 0 | 25 Mar 2025 15:13 | 25 Mar 2025 15:14 |
 |
|
| Agent Bertke jamming to some tunes |
|---|
| Page | Date Created | Rating |
| SCP-044-DE | 26 May 2023 06:50 | -9 |
| SCP-7508 | 12 Aug 2023 06:56 | -4 |
| SCP-7483 | 18 Dec 2024 08:46 | -4 |
| SCP-8941 | 03 Feb 2025 21:20 | -4 |
| SCP-7957 | 30 Nov 2023 15:05 | -3 |
| SCP-8708 | 15 Oct 2024 03:25 | -3 |
| SCP-7734 | 23 Jul 2023 23:11 | -2 |
| SCP-8490 | 25 Mar 2025 14:01 | -2 |
| SCP-CN-980 | 07 Sep 2023 22:48 | -1 |
| SCP-7659 | 29 Dec 2023 17:42 | 0 |
| SCP-067-TL | 20 May 2024 06:02 | 1 |
| SCP-8137 | 15 Oct 2024 22:34 | 2 |
| SCP-7534 | 25 Dec 2024 15:41 | 2 |
| SCP-6105 | 11 Jan 2022 11:21 | 3 |
| SCP-6876 | 18 Aug 2022 01:43 | 3 |
| SCP-002-DE-J | 15 Apr 2023 10:09 | 3 |
| SCP-8199 | 17 Feb 2024 20:34 | 3 |
| SCP-8722 | 19 Feb 2024 02:20 | 3 |
| Poufy's Proposal | 09 Nov 2024 19:13 | 3 |
| SCP-8794 | 23 Nov 2024 21:14 | 3 |
| SCP-8825 | 17 Dec 2024 00:53 | 3 |
| SCP-6184 | 31 Jul 2022 23:06 | 4 |
| SCP-458-KO | 21 Oct 2022 12:17 | 4 |
| SCP-7059 | 17 Nov 2022 02:55 | 4 |
| SCP-7063 | 07 Dec 2022 17:14 | 4 |
| SCP-7116 | 26 Jan 2023 11:05 | 4 |
| SCP-7834 | 01 Jul 2023 01:17 | 4 |
| SCP-ES-185 | 26 Jul 2023 15:31 | 4 |
| SCP-577-TH | 18 Aug 2023 11:34 | 4 |
| SCP-2015-JP | 19 Aug 2023 00:28 | 4 |
| SCP-287-DE | 23 Nov 2023 16:56 | 4 |
| SCP-278-DE | 10 Dec 2023 14:26 | 4 |
| SCP-7807 | 29 Dec 2023 23:51 | 4 |
| SCP-1800-KO | 04 Jan 2024 23:34 | 4 |
| SCP-8088 | 19 Feb 2024 04:44 | 4 |
| SCP-CN-3320 | 10 Sep 2024 17:31 | 4 |
| SCP-1225-J | 25 Sep 2024 14:39 | 4 |
| SCP-725-KO | 28 Sep 2024 13:19 | 4 |
| SCP-8260 | 23 Oct 2024 18:18 | 4 |
| SCP-7942 | 01 Nov 2024 22:44 | 4 |
| SCP-ZH-911 | 05 Nov 2024 01:09 | 4 |
| SCP-7857 | 21 Nov 2024 12:29 | 4 |
| SCP-8928 | 28 Nov 2024 08:24 | 4 |
| SCP-8983 | 29 Nov 2024 11:37 | 4 |
| SCP-8977 | 05 Dec 2024 21:54 | 4 |
| SCP-8830 | 02 Mar 2025 11:15 | 4 |
| SCP-3468 | 04 Jul 2018 19:11 | 5 |
| SCP-5490 | 12 Jul 2020 04:27 | 5 |
| SCP-6148 | 01 Feb 2022 06:07 | 5 |
| SCP-6114 | 18 Mar 2022 03:39 | 5 |
Cite this page as:
"Accelerando's Personnel File" by Accelerando, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/accelerando-personnel-file. Licensed under CC-BY-SA.
For information on how to use this component, see the License Box component. To read about licensing policy, see the Licensing Guide.
Filename: Rawr.jpg
Name: Rawr.jpg
Author: Drewbear
License: CC BY-SA 3.0
Source Link: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/accelerando-personnel-file