Absolute Self-Control
rating: +55+x

I don't care.

No, in all seriousness. That's the answer to your question. I don't care.

Apathy is stronger body armor than anything else. Why should I care that there's a damned great lizard running loose? I have papers to file, dammit! Why should I give a damn that the semen-eating girl is loose and headed for my sector? I'm on break.

Everything's a narrative. Everything, especially real life. This one, that is. I have suspicions regarding other 'real lifes' that I'm working on in my spare time. But I digress. Narratives. They exist in the world, just as coincidences do. They aren't very strong, mostly just a set of cliches played out repeatedly. Trained task forces fall easily while resourceful civilians manage to save the day; head researchers who by rights ought to be filing paperwork take on the dangerous task of decomming a dangerous SCP; 682 escapes and starts a rampage; things like that. And people always act as they would in a bad thriller, or a bad sci-fi, or a bad action flick. Except me.

That's how I've lived to be ninety, kid. I don't care what goes on around me, I do what needs to be done. I survived walking through the middle the Clef-Kondraki Incident because I didn't so much as acknowledge their presence. I got some coffee from the break room while Kondraki was in his battle suit, and I was in my office filing forms to request a budget for reconstruction of the Site when Clef was freezing the hallway. I'm always that kind of person, and it's helped me survive. 682 rushed by an inch from my face, and I did nothing. Didn't so much as flinch.

That's another thing, you know? That bloody great lizard isn't hostile, it's reactionary. It's like a reverse of 173 - you watch it and feel any emotion or reaction regarding it and it hates you. That's why whatsisname's experiment with the kids didn't work, and why 053 got along so well with it. I just don't feel and don't react. It works for me.

That's how it works, kid. Take it or leave it, I don't much care.

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