"Again? I… I mean… I understand. Sorry." Alex sighed, getting up from a kneeling position and stashing a gold ring in his shirt pocket.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, honeybee." Faeowynn stood opposed to her boyfriend. "It's just… I… I don't know if I'm emotionally ready. It's been hell. The animals and… everything. I… Sorry, Alex."
Alex walked to the guard railing of the cliffside spot they had stopped at to watch the sun set in. He leaned forward on the railing and bit his lower lip. "Maybe the fifth time will be the charm," he whispered to himself when he was certain Fae couldn't hear him. The feelings of rejection washed away as he stared out at the sun kissing the Oregon wilds good night.
Fae awkwardly approached him, placing a hand on his shoulder, then gently tracing it towards his neck. She then rested her arm and head on his shoulder, sighing. "It's not that I don't love you. I do, it's just that—"
"I know, Fae." Alex interrupted. "I'm worried about you. You haven't been the same since that day." He turned to face her fully, standing on his tiptoes to kiss her.
"My psychiatrist thinks that I'm coping well enough, thank you very much," she teased in response.
"You only see him once a week. I see you all day every day. Plus you were able to ignore feelings about your dad's passing for years. I know you better than you think."
She frowned.
His expression remained neutral.
"Tell him about what happened." Alex insisted after a brief silence.
Fae cursed under her breath as darkness started to set in overhead.
"I'll think about it."
The clouds in the sky were grey and threatening rain, but that didn't stop Fae as she approached the shadow of a massive redwood. She looked down at a marble tombstone, so out of place in the middle of the woods. A man-made structure amidst nature. Ironic considering who was buried there.
TIM WILSON
FATHER, HUSBAND, FRIEND, LOVER OF NATURE
02/29/1956 - 07/16/2024
With a hefty groan, Fae sat cross-legged in front of her father's grave.
"Hey, dad."
Deathly silence was her only response. Fitting.
"I suck at emotions. Why does Alex like me again?"
A bird flew overhead.
"Anyway. There's something I haven't told you. The animals they… well. It's bigger than just them. Mister Tarpan, Captain Esau, and Doctor Everwood said this affected the entire world." She sighed. "The critters… at least the special ones. Most of them anyway. They don't know why, but they…" Her voice trailed off.
Memories of the day flooded her mind. Dozens of animals with anomalous abilities, all of them fading quickly. The more magical they were, the faster they required euthanization. Some of them were able to survive, albeit with what made them special robbed of them, and still becoming quite ill in the process.
A squirrel chittered from a nearby redwood.
"I guess I wanted to say sorry. The Center is probably going to continue, but as a zoo with normal animals. I know you cared a lot about these critters, and how special they were. I just… I feel like it's my fault somehow. The rational part of my brain knows it's not true, but fuck me, you know? I guess you wouldn't know. You were too earnest for this kind of thing. And too dead. Heh."
She looked up. A ray of sunshine peeked through the dark clouds overhead. The distant rumble of thunder and a rush of wind that nearly knocked her hat off told her it was time to go.
"Sorry I can't stay long today. It's about to rain. Catch you next week, dad."
Fae got up and kissed her index and middle finger of her left hand, then touched it to the marble tombstone. She walked back to her truck, leaving nothing but footprints in her wake. Footprints which would soon be washed away by a passing rain.
Dawn found Fae waking after Alex had already gotten up in their Boring home. The scent of coffee wafted in from the kitchen, which she smiled at. She hated the taste, but it did wonders for waking her up. Especially considering she drank it pitch black and without sugar. She got up, still wearing an oversize tshirt, which was hard to find considering she was 6'4 and her boyfriend, which most women would steal shirts from, was 5'9.
"Hey," Alex said, holding two cups, offering the one with a butterfly on it to her.
"Hay is for horses." She replied, accepting the drink and taking a scalding hot sip.
"How did it go with your psychiatrist last night?"
A pause.
"Good. Why?" Fae questioned, setting the mug on the kitchen table.
Alex shrugged, a smile forming on his sweet, mustached face. He took a sip from his own mug, which depicted a bear on it. "Just curious. What did you say his name was?"
Fae blinked. "I don't think I told you."
"That's why I'm asking."
"Dr. Oseman." She lied.
Another, more pregnant pause.
"Fae…" Alex sighed.
"What?" Her tone betrayed her.
"There's only one psychiatry practice in Boring. I called last night and asked for a list of their practicing doctors, and Oseman is not one of them."
"How do you know I didn't go to Portlands?"
"No one's heard of or from Portlands in months."
"I meant Portland. Singular."
"I know you hate it the—"
"Fine. You got me. I haven't been going to see a psychiatrist." She folded her arms.
"I'm not upset that you lied to me. I'm upset that you didn't actually go to one after promising me you'd go." Alex took a step towards her, putting a hand on her arm. "Fae. I love you. I know what the Center meant to you. What it meant to your dad. It means a lot to me too. But we can't keep living in the past. You need to talk to someone. Someone qualified. As much as I wish I could help you, I can't."
Fae sighed, to which Alex leaned in and got on is tiptoes to kiss her.
"You're right. I hear the Supervisors are offering counseling to all their employees, and we qualify as them. I'll talk to Tarpan today." Fae was stubborn, but she was willing to see where she had been wrong.
"Thank you."
"And thank you for sticking with me through my bullshit." Fae cocked her head down and kissed Alex.
"So how about marrying me now?" He teased.
"I'll have to think about it."