A Night in the Woods

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BigFaceisReal 03/08/2008 (Fri) 02:24:53 #13579245

So I'm ready, I´m finally going on my "Bigfoot Photographic Expedition". Guy, I'm so excited, been planning this for so many months. I got all my new camera and gears. This is going to be so badass. I'm feeling really lucky guys, I'm to photograph that mf so hard hahahah

BigBrainTime 03/08/2008 (Fri) 02:24:53 #1357927

Good luck you crazy old bastard

Forum » User Experience » Thread Post 64

BigFaceisReal 07/09/2008 (Fri) 02:24:53 #13579246

Hi guys, so I have been missing for a few weeks and I know you all have been worried about me. I have been reading all your messages and I know you are concerned. And yes, I told you I was going to update you about my "Bigfoot Photographic Expedition" as soon as got back to civilization and I didn't. And I'm really sorry for making you all worried but, I just needed time to process things. I wasn't sure if I was going to make this post and tell you the insane shit that just happened to me. I'm worried you are going to think I'm fucking crazy and, tbf, I'm also not sure if I have finally lost it. But to hell with it. We are supposed to be truth-seekers and… this is the truth.

A few weeks ago I went to the Rocky Mountains near Helena, Montana. I was told this was the perfect spot to catch a picture of the Sasquatch. So when I got there I was really excited. I put my camp and got myself a sweet spot to wait with my camera. And I wait and I wait for a few days… and nothing… I was getting really bummed so I decided to pack my stuff and go home. Maybe pass to some FiveGuys along the way. I was just finishing packing my camera when I heard a cracking sound behind me. My blood felt cold and I slowly turned back…

Okay, bear with me, just a few meters in front of me, there was, I'm shitting you not, Bigfoot. Well, I believe it was Bigfoot. It was big and furry and looked like an ape but stood like a human. But what I remember the most was its eyes. It had black dead eyes. It was like staring at a void, a void that stares you back. It looked at me and I felt its contempt. I'm almost sure I was nothing to him but a bug. It turned back and started walking away so I rushed to get my camera. I had fucking Sasquatch in front of me and I had to take this picture…

Anyways, this is where the crazy part starts. I mean it gets really crazier. I was going to take the picture when a tree hit me. You know, like the second hp movie when a fucking tree starts beating the shit out of them? Well, just like that a branch of a tree moved a hit me in the stomach. I dropped the camera. I was confused. I looked around, BF was gone, but the trees had just started. Suddenly all the branches of every nearby were over me, beating the shit out of me. They even got to my neck and started suffocating me. I almost passed out.

And then, suddenly I was free. The branches had been cut off. It happened so fast. I heard a sound, like something sharp cutting through the air and wood and I was free. I fell to the ground, gasping for air. I was just recovering when I heard her voice:

"You're hurt"

I looked up and right next to me there was this woman. She was impressive. She looked like the cross between a beauty queen and MMA fighter. She was dressed in a white suit that contrasted heavily with her dark skin. She wielded a very weird weapon, it was some kind of knife/axe hybrid. I stared at this woman in disbelief, not sure what to do or say next. But she was right, I was hurt, my body was all bruised I think I had some broken ribs. I hurt like hell. Then I realized the trees were still moving, they were closing into us, crushing all my stuff and they were going to crush us.

The woman just stood calmly and she just produce a music box from who-knows-where. She started playing it and a very odd melody came from it. It sounded like some sort of futuristic polka. Anyways, just as the melody played the plants started going back to normal. She finished the melody and looked around. The woods were just woods again.

"What did you do? What's that?" I asked, pointing to the music box.

"This is the Choir of Sheba. It knows three songs. The first one can close the gates of time. The second one, which you just heard, can free the flora from the influence of the Sunless Horror. And Third, I could not tell, for I do not desire harm upon you."

"Amm… thanks? So who are you?"

"They used to call me Moremi. Now I´m just a Reflection… you are hurt. Do you have some water?"

"Sure, there should be a bottle in my backpack."

She took the bottle from my backpack and poured it into a wooden chalice. Now that I think about it., I don't know where did she got that chalice from. Man, this was so weird.

"Drink it, you will be better."

"It's just water…" I argued, but tbf I was thirsty so I drank it. But, suddenly, all the pain was gone. I stood up and looked at my body. The bruises were gone. My ribs felt fine. It was like nothing had ever happened.

"What did you put in this water?"

"It is not the liquid but the container. You just drank from the Chalice of Dhanvantari. Anyone who dranks from it will have all of their ailments cured."

So I have just seen Bigfoot, killer plants, this mysterious woman, and now… a magic chalice?

"Anyways you should be going. The Sunless Horror was just scouting, he must have already alerted them of my presence here."

"The Sunless Horror? You mean the Bigfoot?"

"They were looking for me. The Bloodless Horror must be on its way. I have an unfinished business with them from my past life."

"I have no idea what you are talking about…"

Then, because of course, it happened, a motherfucking portal or some sort of thing appeared in the middle of my camp. It was like a ripple in time and space itself.

"You must hide, now!" She said.

I obeyed and hide in the nearby bushes. But I could not help myself from watching what was happening. A group of men emerged from the portal. They had strange armor and weapons. The looked like straight out of a cheesy fantasy movie. Their armor was red and spiky, it looked insectoid. They wield long spears and curved blades. The men surrounded the woman, pointing the weapons towards her.

They spoke to her in a language I could not recognize, but I believe they were demanding her to throw her weapon. She answered them defiantly. She raised her weapon and threw it. It got stuck in a nearby tree. Suddenly, the woman was gone. The men were as confused as I was. I looked to the tree where the weapon has been stuck. The woman war there, holding the weapon. It was as she had just teleported to it. The men were angry and started approaching here, weapons ready. She just took her music box and started playing a melody. It reminded me of electro swing. The men started to be pulled to the portal. They were all sucked into it and when the music was over the portal was gone.

I got of my hiding spot and shouted "Wait!" but it was too late.

The woman had already thrown her weapon and suddenly she was gone.

I pack what was left of my stuff and went back to my car. I just drove like a zombie until I reached home. I spend a few weeks pondering what the hell had just happened. Am just crazy? Maybe I don't fucking now. But I do know what saw. What I'm telling you is the truth!

I went looking for Bigfoot and I found Bigfoot, but I also got in the middle of some sort of interdimensional war.

TheBiteof87 07/09/2008 (Fri) 02:24:53 #13579246

I believe you… I believe you should go to a fuckin shrink

BiBrainTime 07/09/2008 (Fri) 02:24:53 #1357927

That's an odd weapon. It sounds like a mambele, have you looked that up?

MILFofMachines 07/09/2008 (Fri) 02:24:53 #13579299

Really interesting story. Could you tell me more about this woman :3

BigFaceisReal 07/09/2008 (Fri) 02:24:53 #13579350

Well, she had some royal aura. I don't know man, I felt like if I was in the presence of a Queen. I was making a sketch, it should be on my other drive, let me go for it.

MILFofMachines 07/09/2008 (Fri) 02:24:53 #13579299

Don't worry got it already :3

BigFaceisReal 07/09/2008 (Fri) 02:24:53 #13579350

What do you mean?

MILFofMachines 07/09/2008 (Fri) 02:30:21 #13579358


BigFaceisReal 07/09/2008 (Fri) 02:24:53 #13579318

What the hell? Who are you?

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