A Journal Found in the Back of the Library

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September 2nd, 1902: People can be so unnecessarily cruel sometimes. I know this is a public passenger car and all, but that doesn’t mean you can be loud the whole way through? Is it just common courtesy, you know? “Treat others how you want to be treated.” I’m not going to cause a commotion over it, though. I don’t want to look like the bad guy and all.

September 5th, 1902: The train finally arrived in Istanbul. I don’t know how much more I could have taken sitting in that thing. I made some revisions to my writing during the trip, so I guess that’s a silver lining.

September 9th, 1902: The professor did not like “Ghost of Tomorrow” I had put my heart and soul into writing this piece. He claims it lacks “stakes” and “emotion.” That is just untrue! It is so emotional!

However, he did say that it has some potential. I mean, of course, this piece has potential! I made it with my sweat and tears! Regardless, I guess I am new to the field at the professional level. Failure is just one step towards success.

I can make this better. I know I can.

September 27th, 1902: How are people not seeing the beauty of my work? I guess it might not sound as engaging on paper but on the stage. On the stage, it would be a masterpiece! They would soon seek forgiveness for their initial distaste.

Damien said he thinks “Ghost of Tomorrow” is good, though. So at least I have him to assure me that the greatness I see in the writing is not a simple delusion of mine.

October 10th, 1902: What am I not seeing here? My classmates seem to be learning from the lectures. Are they hearing something different than I? Like yes, I know the basics and everything; I get the idea of “Chekhov’s gun,” but like beyond that, the lessons feel nonsensical. I don’t think these professors are worth the floor they stand on.

October 31st, 1902: My academics are going along fine, yet I don’t feel like I’m learning anything. I listened to Mr. Brelitrov’s advice and stopped trying to make “Ghost of Tomorrow” for now. He said something along the lines of, “there are always other paths you can take. Don’t get stuck in a rut, or you might lose yourself.” He’s probably right; I’ll need to take a different approach if I want my work to meet the standards of the greats.

Aren’t my works good enough already?

December 19th, 1902: I got good marks during that first semester, but I don’t know how I did it. I don’t think I learned anything. My scripts were still looked down upon, and even Mr. Beletrov didn’t believe they were any good either.

Well, being back at home has given me time to think. As I played with Tarik in the backyard, I believe I’ve finally come up with a solution to my problem.

February 6th, 1903: Mr. Beletrov has given me complete ownership to use the old locker-building near the river. He is such a kind man, and I can’t thank him enough for giving me this chance to prove myself.

February 12th, 1903: I will have to delay further work on my project for the time being. I need to make this building soundproof. It echos too much in here; you can hear so much noise on the outside. I don’t want to disturb anyone not involved.

February 27th, 1903: Well, it’s done. You can’t hear a dang thing from outside.

March 4th, 1903: Directing is not as easy as they make it seem. Having someone do exactly what you want them to do is pretty difficult.

March 6th, 1903: How hard is it to follow simple instructions? If you just listen to my instructions, everything will be alright.

Regardless of the obstacles in our way, I finally feel like I am learning something.

March 7th, 1903: Maybe the professors are right. Emotion was lacking in my scripts. The actors can never express the emotions I want them to convey. Why can’t they just say as I say? Do as I do?

Cassandra says that she wants to quit!? You can’t leave now! We only just got started!

March 19th, 1903: We’ve made a breakthrough today! Cassandra kept telling me to stop, but when I yelled at her, “Shut up, will you!?” she said it with me! She even said it with the same conviction! She began to cry afterward like usual, but I made her stop, just like that.

March 27th, 1903: So today, I was able to untie Cassandra, and the most incredible thing happened. She didn’t make any attempts to run away. She followed my movements to a T.

I couldn’t exactly get her to speak alongside me during the test, but I’m sure I’ll be able to do it in time.

April 2nd, 1903: I don’t think there is much to learn from Cassandra alone anymore. We seem to be in perfect harmony, following my every word and step.

Mr. Beletrov says that my writing is getting better too.

April 5th, 1903: Cassandra is able to move and talk without me having to do it with her. I’m so happy for her. Now that this is possible, I can expand to more than just her.

April 6th, 1903: When I brought Damien over, he was very excited. I had told him about my advances, but I never showed him. However, when I showed him, he was scared. I hit him over the head with a shovel before he could do anything.

April 8th, 1903: I don’t understand by Damien won’t perform the right way? He was so interested in the project when I told him about it. But now that he’s here, he keeps saying it’s insane.

Nevertheless, I know he will understand soon enough. What’s important right now is having them both perform at once. This has proven difficult, it’s extremely taxing on my mind.

April 13th, 1903: My creative genius is finally being recognized! I am getting top marks in all of my classes this semester. I guess all I needed was a little push. I am unique after all, I have my quirkiness, so that explains why I needed to do hands-on work to better my writing.

Controlling Cassandra and Damien at the same time feels almost impossible! I can’t control them both at once. It’s so hard. I need to think of other approaches.

April 16th, 1903: I can control them in my sleep now. This seems to be the only way I’m able to control them both at once. Only problem is they will try to run when I wake up, probably because my awareness at that time is at its lowest.

May 8th, 1903: I burned the locker-building down today, I’ve learned all I could from them. If I’m going to have a larger cast, I’m going to have to perform a sacrifice anyways. Might as well have a test run so I don’t screw it up.

May 12th: With another semester done, and my grades improved, I’m going to enjoy this summer. Hopefully, I can find a town stable enough to hold my performance.

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