34. Joanna

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• 

  close

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  ---

  X

  Joanna
  34/43

  More by this author!

  ---

Joanna

It doesn't do to dwell on what's become of those you love,
Whether far across the ocean, or beyond the skies above
When you're drifting from your dumpster in the bosom of the loam,
It's a poison to the soul to grant your mind too far to roam.

They had fought the night before.

She dumped the final wad of wires on the workbench, and forced herself up on the stool. Her body didn't want to move anymore. No part of her did. And yet.

She couldn't remember what they'd fought about. It didn't matter. It hadn't mattered at the time. It had never mattered. Neither the subject, nor the argument.

The power cells on the defence turrets were still too hot to remove, and the targeting systems were still active. She'd temporarily taken them offline so the wounded could be rescued and the dead interred, using a backdoor command that would only work once; after that she'd had to engage in what amounted to fourteen separate bomb disposals. It wasn't difficult; she might have preferred that it had been.

They'd swapped harsh words most days of her adult life. He was the most irritable man who had ever lived, and she never let forcefulness carry the day in a discussion. If he wanted his way, he was going to have to articulate a logical reason why he should get it.

The only eigenweapon he had ever himself wielded was sitting on a counter across the massive workshop. A crack in the floor and wall separated her from it. She remembered how brave he'd been when Pensak had first run amok.

They'd fought about that for hours. He wasn't an agent. He wasn't fit for combat. He wasn't even fit. Neither of them were. They were inventors. Engineers. That had been the first time she'd taken the offensive. The first time she'd ever outshouted him.

She pulled her tablet over, and clicked it on. A message from Ibanez: could she figure out how to drain the subway faster? She tapped out a quick "Yes," then opened the technical ticketing system and assigned the task to herself. She'd already taken on five others, only two of which were finished.

They'd fought about the work. About whether he took it too seriously. About whether she didn't take it seriously enough. As soon as she'd been old enough to take her exams, they'd fought about theory as well as practice. She had a dozen projects she wouldn't know how to finish, now, without someone to spite. Options to intentionally ignore.

Veiksaar wanted to try electrum capacitors on the .aic, for some reason. Amelia was looking for somebody to coax the Wet back into the Works. Nass needed a consult on some terrible technical mistake he'd made. She took every ticket for herself.

She'd wanted to be the one to leave the lab. The one to try and help. That had been their final argument.

His work tablet was sitting in a little plastic tub across the bench from her. He'd had it in his labcoat. There was a bullet hole in it. It would be almost impossible to retrieve the data. She'd do it anyway.

The man who put the "mad" in "mad scientist" was gone. He'd made everything worse, and then killed himself. The thing that had destroyed her life had ended his with the utmost indignity possible. It would colour his legacy. Yancy hadn't even tried to hide the truth from her. She'd be in shock anyway, so why bother? Rip all the Band-Aids off at once.

Du needed her to look at the Core. According to her last systems check, the Core didn't even exist anymore. That was her first priority. That was what she would focus on now.

"I can do this," she said. "I'm going."

The empty room offered no argument.

She was reeling before she knew what had hit her. Her knees struck the floor. Her vision burned. Her breath caught.

What's the point of anything, if the arguments are over?

She had never gone to bed angry in her life, and neither had he.

What am I going to do without my dad?

Rozálie

Indivisible

Sevara

‡ Licensing / Citation

Cite this page as:

"34. Joanna" by HarryBlank, from the SCP Wiki. Source: https://scpwiki.com/34-joanna. Licensed under CC BY-SA.

For information on how to use this component, see the License Box component. To read about licensing policy, see the Licensing Guide.

Verse section inspired by "Our Dug-Out" by Edgar W. McInnis, in the public domain.

---

Filename: Joanna.png
Author: HarryBlank
License: CC BY-SA 3.0

---

Filename: Asterisk43.png
Author: HarryBlank
License: CC BY-SA 3.0

This image is derived from the following:

Imagery created for "Внутренние службы" on http://scp-ru.wikidot.com, by Osobist, released CC BY-SA 3.0: http://scp-ru.wikidot.com/list-of-foundation-s-internal-departments.

and

Name: Lake Huron Drainage Basin Map
Author: Government of Canada
License: Public Domain
Source: canada.ca

and

Name: Philadelphia Pride Flag
Author: Government of Canada
License: Public Domain
Source: Wikimedia Commons