Stupid Cupid
rating: +39+x

Cimmerian watched the sun lazily drop in the sky. A day full of nothing but paperwork is necessary but utterly draining. The alarms for a containment breach echoed in the halls. Lovely. He can already tell tomorrow isn't going to be any different.

A knock on the door. "You got time for one more signature?" It's Dr. North. He's got a paper for a covert mission. Dr. North just needs Dr. Cimmerian's OK. Put it in the inbox he tells him. He'll get to it in a bit. A couple more minutes and the sun should be setting.

Dr. North approaches the inbox on Dr. Cimmerian's table. He reaches to slide the paper into its tray but he hears something and stops.

The sound of high pitched laughing cuts through the distant containment breach alarms. It grows louder and more frantic. The telltale drumroll of security in pursuit follows in its wake.

The laughter bursts through the door and into Dr. Cimmerian's office. A winged cherub with a bow and a smile of a thousand commercial toddlers zips about chased by PTF Kappa-143. Dr. Cimmerian reaches for his tranquilizer weapon. Dr. North attempts to duck behind the side of the table.

PTF Kappa-143 try to shoot down the laughing demon but it manages to land one arrow on the Ethics Committee Liaison and one on the Head Director of Espionage and Logistics and then flies out of the office leaving behind a trail of flowers.

PTF Commander Cane apologizes to the doctors and PTF Kappa-143 leave to follow their target.

The sound of laughter and chase fade into the alarm bells.

Dr. Cimmerian and Dr. North compose themselves. Cimmerian had been shot in the shoulder; North in the back. Both are painfully aware of what’s about to occur. The Cupid’s arrows dissolve into pink light. The two doctors look away from each other. The inevitable loomed over them.

Jeremiah Cimmerian tries to think. He feels his heart starting to pound hard in his chest. He catches North moving in the corner of his eye and Cimmerian looks at him. North and Cimmerian lock eyes. North averts his gaze once more.

Cimmerian's thoughts clear. He sizes up North. The Cupid’s effects last about a day. A whole day of love with North. North isn’t… that bad looking. Might as well enjoy the ride. What would Megan think of them right now?

The man can’t even look at me. So shy.

“It looks like we’re stuck North.”

“Ye-“ North’s voice cracks. He clears his throat. “Yeah.” North laughs nervously.

Cimmerian sees North uncomfortably shifting his leg. The poor man. We need to move this along or we’ll never make it to the end of the day.

“It could have been worse North. I was planning to get Bright to cover for me today.”

“Jesus, that would have been a show for the whole site.”

The doctors chuckle. The room seems to brighten. The flowers on the floor smell very sweet. The sun casts the window's shadow across the room.

"Kappa-143 get shot by that thing all the time right?" Dr. North relaxes into the conversation. Was Cimmerian always this nice?

"Yes. Sometimes they're shot all at once." Cimmerian pauses. Now's his chance. Time to make a move.

Cimmerian leans towards North. "It must be nice."

Dr. North lights up like a tomato. "Y-You think so?" Dr. North tenses up again laughing nervously.

"North, let me make this clear: at this moment we are supernaturally attracted to each other. Containment Procedures for people shot by that damn cherub are to let things play out. One day of making a complete fool of yourself in front of another fool. The best case scenario is that it's only moderately embarrassing."

North is silent.

Dr. Cimmerian moves to Dr. North. He closes the gap between them. North takes a step back.

"You're scared? Where's the North that eats the Serpent's Hand for breakfast?"

North swallows the knot in his throat.

"He's… you're just… very forward."

"Then how would you like me to treat you? I could ravish you if you wanted."

"NO! No. I…" Dr. North's face is a supernova. He takes a moment to collect himself.

"Could we go on a date?"

Cimmerian looks North deep in the eyes.

"If it's a date you want it's a date you'll get."

Cimmerian picks up a flower from the floor. Daisies. It'll do, Cimmerian supposes. He places the flower into Dr. North's coat and covers it up.

"Let's just hope no one else gets wind of this."

"Agreed. Where should we go?"

"How about we grab some drinks and watch the sunset?"

"On the roof?"

"Where else?"


The site was all aflutter that day. It had taken PTF Kappa-143 two hours to recapture the loose Cupid. It's rampage left many site staff with new friendships and some with regretfully bad decisions.

In its containment cell, the Cupid smiles to itself. It flies a loop and laughs. It is content.

Love is in the air once more and that's all that ever matters.

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