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WARNING: THE SHARK PUNCHING CENTER DATABASE IS

CLASSIFIED

ACCESS BY SELACHIAN SYMPATHIZERS IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED
PERPETRATORS WILL BE PUMMELED, TICKLED, AND EATEN

Featured SPC


NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-2922 is currently active. Marine Fighting Team ARMÁ ORÚN...

Featured Tale

by DjoricDjoric


Okay people, sit your asses down and shut your pie holes. I’ve got places to go and people more important than you to see, because I happen to be a...

Featured GoI Format document


Item #: SCP-1569 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1569 is currently contained in an isolated sector of Site-104. The pit in...

The Best SPC Page of All Time


Item #: SCP-4373 Level 4/4373 Object Class: Euclid Classified Oceanic regions in which SCP-4373-1 instances have been spotted. Special...

News

25 Jun 2019 14:40

A decades-long internal investigation has confirmed longstanding suspicions that sharks are still, in fact, super awful.

June 23, 1999

Transdimensional data corruption has caused numerous unwanted files to manifest on SPC servers. The source of the intrusion appears to be the "Secure Contain Protect Foundation", a parallel entity from an alternate plane of existence, probably. Despite the inherently absurd nature of the SCP, they seem to consider us to be a joke. I'd like to see them try telling that to my nine dead grandmothers.

March 3, 1942

Gee, this sure is a lot of war right here.

October 12, 1893

BREAKING NEWS! Empirical evidence has been uncovered which irrefutably proves that sharks are super awful. Personnel are advised to endouble their fisticuff engagement as they sally forth against the selachian scoundrels. Show 'em what for, chaps! Ods bodkins and sakes alive!


Documents

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-140 is currently active. Agents are to make every effort to secure the hides and ink of CYAN ABYSS Deviant-Type Selachian Entities, and to secure any other instances of BRONZE UPPERCUT. Efforts to locate GREY...

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-2615 is currently on hiatus due to theft of Subject ERIN GREEN by cross-universal elements. Resumption of SPC-2615 may only commence under either of the following circumstances: Subject ERIN GREEN is...

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Tales

D-3672 sighed anxiously as he sat alone on a bench in the staging area. For the past two hours, half a dozen technicians had been hard at work on him, making the final adjustments on the skin-tight suit he had been fitted into. Only the breathing apparatus and the goggles remained to be fitted to...

Okay people, sit your asses down and shut your pie holes. I’ve got places to go and people more important than you to see, because I happen to be a scientist and we scientists have a tendency to be very busy and important people. If you’re out there in the folding chairs, that means that you're the...

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Foundation Universe

Then, amidst hushed tones, the crooked beak of a particularly mirthful Ancient One descended. He was Djehuti, the Scribe of the Underworld....

As far as I can tell, humanity is beyond saving. If there was any hope before, it's all gone now. My only recommendation is to aim for the head....

Item #: SCP-1569 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1569 is currently contained in an isolated sector of Site-104. The pit in the containment unit is to be filled with water to a depth of thirty meters. SCP-1569 is to remain outfitted with a modified feedbag to minimize...

Item #: SCP-1449 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1449 is contained within a Type-65 Containment Module, measuring 13 meters in diameter. The containment module is to be suspended within the storage chamber by means of a magnetic suspension system, and is to monitored daily...

SCP-1329 Item #: SCP-1329 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: The security perimeter of Site-97 is to be monitored by armed patrol and night-vision security cameras. No further security is necessary. All SCP-1329-1 activity within the grounds of Site-97 or within SCP-1329 is not...

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Jokes

Test firing of an Ahab-2 unit off the Eastern coast of Brazil. Item #: SPC-169 Object Class: Megalodon Shark Punching Contingencies: Due to its immense size, direct punching of SPC-169 will prove impractical. As such, Project Ahab has been established for the full-scale pugilization of SPC-169....

Item #: SCP-7475-J Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7475-J is to be kept at Site 69 in a 6x6x6 meter tank, filled with salt water derived from the Pacific Ocean. Said tank is to be reinforced by three-meter thick steel slabs, removed only for testing and feeding. Subject is...

Thermal imaging of an instance of SPC-3284 Item #: SPC-3284-J Object Class: Great White Shark Punching Contingencies: Due to the extreme heat, instances of SPC-3284 are nearly impossible to engage in their natural habitat. The current protocol for dealing with SPC-3284 infestations is to drain the...

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and used under the Creative Commons Attribution-SharkAlike 3.0 license (CC-BY-SA).



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