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WARNING: THE SHARK PUNCHING CENTER DATABASE IS

CLASSIFIED

ACCESS BY SELACHIAN SYMPATHIZERS IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED
PERPETRATORS WILL BE PUMMELED, TICKLED, AND EATEN

Featured SPC


You are now connected. [13:04] Topic is Fuck credentials, fuck passwords, fuck secrecy, fuck everything. Just, fuck in general. Fuck like it's the...

Featured Tale

by CrayneCrayne


It all started when stingrays started spewing from the air vents. Dr. Daniel Horatio Aeslinger, Psy.D., the psychologist currently on temporary...

Featured GoI Format document


Item #: SCP-1569 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1569 is currently contained in an isolated sector of Site-104. The pit in...

The Best SPC Page of All Time


NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-2922 is currently active. Marine Fighting Team ARMÁ ORÚN...

News

25 Jun 2019 17:49

A decades-long internal investigation has confirmed longstanding suspicions that sharks are still, in fact, super awful.

June 23, 1999

Transdimensional data corruption has caused numerous unwanted files to manifest on SPC servers. The source of the intrusion appears to be the "Secure Contain Protect Foundation", a parallel entity from an alternate plane of existence, probably. Despite the inherently absurd nature of the SCP, they seem to consider us to be a joke. I'd like to see them try telling that to my nine dead grandmothers.

March 3, 1942

Gee, this sure is a lot of war right here.

October 12, 1893

BREAKING NEWS! Empirical evidence has been uncovered which irrefutably proves that sharks are super awful. Personnel are advised to endouble their fisticuff engagement as they sally forth against the selachian scoundrels. Show 'em what for, chaps! Ods bodkins and sakes alive!


Documents

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-140 is currently active. Agents are to make every effort to secure the hides and ink of CYAN ABYSS Deviant-Type Selachian Entities, and to secure any other instances of BRONZE UPPERCUT. Efforts to locate GREY...

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-2615 is currently on hiatus due to theft of Subject ERIN GREEN by cross-universal elements. Resumption of SPC-2615 may only commence under either of the following circumstances: Subject ERIN GREEN is...

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Tales

Ladies, gentlemen, and other assorted individuals. The time has come for us to die. A great noise erupted from the assembled members of the Shark Punching Center. Some in the audience had known of these plans for quite some time, but to the majority, the announcement came as a shock. Question...

You know, most folks who think about the ocean usually only think about the surface level. You know, the bright blue areas with all the fish and plant life. Finding Nemo and all that sort of crap. It's mysterious, sure, but there's never any real sense of threat to it. You go down and you know...

How long has he been out there? asked the Site Director as he strolled down the corridor leading to the entry hub. Around three hours, sir, replied his assistant, nervously shuffling her papers. We've contemplated shooting him, but decided that if he came all the way to Site 19's gate to just...

Daddy, why are you dressed up like a dolphin? Mitchell laughed as he picked up his daughter. I'm not a dolphin, you goof! he said. I'm a shark! The little girl in his hands giggled and bared her teeth at him, growling and playfully flailing her arms around. Raaawr, raaawr, I'mma shark...

☦A story that should've been a joke.☦ When they sent me to the ocean, I knew I would never see my family and friends again. I had never seen the ocean before. Never been to the beach. I don't even like visiting the swimming pool. But that's okay. As long as I'm making the world a better place for...

Foundation Universe

Then, amidst hushed tones, the crooked beak of a particularly mirthful Ancient One descended. He was Djehuti, the Scribe of the Underworld....

As far as I can tell, humanity is beyond saving. If there was any hope before, it's all gone now. My only recommendation is to aim for the head....

Item #: SCP-1569 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1569 is currently contained in an isolated sector of Site-104. The pit in the containment unit is to be filled with water to a depth of thirty meters. SCP-1569 is to remain outfitted with a modified feedbag to minimize...

Item #: SCP-1449 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1449 is contained within a Type-65 Containment Module, measuring 13 meters in diameter. The containment module is to be suspended within the storage chamber by means of a magnetic suspension system, and is to monitored daily...

SCP-1329 Item #: SCP-1329 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: The security perimeter of Site-97 is to be monitored by armed patrol and night-vision security cameras. No further security is necessary. All SCP-1329-1 activity within the grounds of Site-97 or within SCP-1329 is not...

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Jokes

Test firing of an Ahab-2 unit off the Eastern coast of Brazil. Item #: SPC-169 Object Class: Megalodon Shark Punching Contingencies: Due to its immense size, direct punching of SPC-169 will prove impractical. As such, Project Ahab has been established for the full-scale pugilization of SPC-169....

Item #: SCP-7475-J Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7475-J is to be kept at Site 69 in a 6x6x6 meter tank, filled with salt water derived from the Pacific Ocean. Said tank is to be reinforced by three-meter thick steel slabs, removed only for testing and feeding. Subject is...

Thermal imaging of an instance of SPC-3284 Item #: SPC-3284-J Object Class: Great White Shark Punching Contingencies: Due to the extreme heat, instances of SPC-3284 are nearly impossible to engage in their natural habitat. The current protocol for dealing with SPC-3284 infestations is to drain the...

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The SPC theme was created by PeppersGhost based on Sigma-9 by Aelanna,
and used under the Creative Commons Attribution-SharkAlike 3.0 license (CC-BY-SA).



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