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WARNING: THE SHARK PUNCHING CENTER DATABASE IS

CLASSIFIED

ACCESS BY SELACHIAN SYMPATHIZERS IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED
PERPETRATORS WILL BE PUMMELED, TICKLED, AND EATEN

Featured SPC


SPC-507 is an ongoing pugilistic operation co-developed by the Centre, Poseidon Laboratories, and the Liberated Cetacean Union....

Featured Tale

by GargusGargus


How long has he been out there? asked the Site Director as he strolled down the corridor leading to the entry hub. Around three hours, sir, ...

Featured GoI Format document

by DjoricDjoric


Item #: SCP-1449 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1449 is contained within a Type-65 Containment Module, measuring 13 meters...

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WARNING: THE SHARK PUNCHING CENTER DATABASE IS CLASSIFIED ACCESS BY SELACHIAN SYMPATHIZERS IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED PERPETRATORS WILL BE PUMMELED,...

News

13 Nov 2019 23:06

A decades-long internal investigation has confirmed longstanding suspicions that sharks are still, in fact, super awful.

June 23, 1999

Transdimensional data corruption has caused numerous unwanted files to manifest on SPC servers. The source of the intrusion appears to be the "Secure Contain Protect Foundation", a parallel entity from an alternate plane of existence, probably. Despite the inherently absurd nature of the SCP, they seem to consider us to be a joke. I'd like to see them try telling that to my nine dead grandmothers.

March 3, 1942

Gee, this sure is a lot of war right here.

October 12, 1893

BREAKING NEWS! Empirical evidence has been uncovered which irrefutably proves that sharks are super awful. Personnel are advised to endouble their fisticuff engagement as they sally forth against the selachian scoundrels. Show 'em what for, chaps! Ods bodkins and sakes alive!


Documents

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-2615 is currently on hiatus due to theft of Subject ERIN GREEN by cross-universal elements. Resumption of SPC-2615 may only commence under either of the following circumstances: Subject ERIN GREEN is...

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Tales

It all started when stingrays began spewing from the air vents. Dr. Daniel Horatio Aeslinger, Psy.D., the psychologist currently on temporary assignment at Site-82, tapped his pencil against his lips. Go on, Agent Bouchard. The man in front of him hesitated. Well, at first we didn't even...

Johnny was sitting at his computer desk, head hung low as the tears streamed down his cheeks. He couldn't believe that he'd found yet another internet community that he was exiled from. First it was the tumblr kids, then the twitter kids, then the furries, and now, finally, he faced the worst kind...

Vasvis Ten-Fold Reaper stepped out of the shower, and spread her arms wide. Water dripped down onto the floor as spindly metal arms whirred out from the smooth white walls, drying pads working their way across her body. Other arms fed her long black hair through drying rollers, and another set held...

Ladies, gentlemen, and other assorted individuals. The time has come for us to die. A great noise erupted from the assembled members of the Shark Punching Center. Some in the audience had known of these plans for quite some time, but to the majority, the announcement came as a shock. Question...

You know, most folks who think about the ocean usually only think about the surface level. You know, the bright blue areas with all the fish and plant life. Finding Nemo and all that sort of crap. It's mysterious, sure, but there's never any real sense of threat to it. You go down and you know...

Foundation Universe

Item #: SCP-1329 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: The security perimeter of Site-97 is to be monitored by armed patrol and night-vision security cameras. No further security is necessary. All SCP-1329-1 activity within the grounds of Site-97 or within SCP-1329 is not to be...

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Jokes

Test firing of an Ahab-2 unit off the Eastern coast of Brazil. Item #: SPC-169 Object Class: Megalodon Shark Punching Contingencies: Due to its immense size, direct punching of SPC-169 will prove impractical. As such, Project Ahab has been established for the full-scale pugilization of SPC-169....

Item #: SCP-7475-J Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7475-J is to be kept at Site 69 in a 6x6x6 meter tank, filled with salt water derived from the Pacific Ocean. Said tank is to be reinforced by three-meter thick steel slabs, removed only for testing and feeding. Subject is...

Item #: SPC-3284-J Object Class: Great White Shark Punching Contingencies: Due to the extreme heat, instances of SPC-3284 are nearly impossible to engage in their natural habitat. The current protocol for dealing with SPC-3284 infestations is to drain the lava lake they are located in, and then move...

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