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WARNING: THE SHARK PUNCHING CENTER DATABASE IS

CLASSIFIED

ACCESS BY SELACHIAN SYMPATHIZERS IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED
PERPETRATORS WILL BE PUMMELED, TICKLED, AND EATEN

Featured SPC

by MrWrongMrWrong


NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-2000 is currently active. All required data is archived....

Featured Tale


A Surprise Encounter with Crispy Sex Pirates Author: FloppyPhoenix This is a tale for Day 1 of the 144-Hour Jam Contest. The theme was Shaggy...

Featured GoI Format document


SCP-4416: Tails of Site-42: Why The Foundation Punches Sharks Author: FloppyPhoenix This article was written for Round 2 of Draft Swap. More...

The Best SPC Page of All Time


Only the tips of Denver's skyscrapers still protruded above the sea: glass tombstones for citizens that were washed away years ago. Within one of...

News

20 Jun 2019 07:30

A decades-long internal investigation has confirmed longstanding suspicions that sharks are still, in fact, super awful.

June 23, 1999

Transdimensional data corruption has caused numerous unwanted files to manifest on SPC servers. The source of the intrusion appears to be the "Secure Contain Protect Foundation", a parallel entity from an alternate plane of existence, probably. Despite the inherently absurd nature of the SCP, they seem to consider us to be a joke. I'd like to see them try telling that to my nine dead grandmothers.

March 3, 1942

Gee, this sure is a lot of war right here.

October 12, 1893

BREAKING NEWS! Empirical evidence has been uncovered which irrefutably proves that sharks are super awful. Personnel are advised to endouble their fisticuff engagement as they sally forth against the selachian scoundrels. Show 'em what for, chaps! Ods bodkins and sakes alive!


Documents

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-2922 is currently active. Marine Fighting Team ARMÁ ORÚN has been deployed to the BLUE ABYSS and TEETH-FILLED VOID to engage all ASTRAL SEADOG entities located there. The current roster of MFT ARMÁ ORÚN is...

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-1258 has been TERMINATED. All instances of CERULEAN GLOVE Deviant-Class Cetacean Entities are to be terminated through Centre funded whaling operations. CERULEAN GLOVE instances are not to be engaged when...

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-682 is currently operational at the Fortress Ross Experimental Warfare Facility. The continued security of Subject ESTIVAL OUTLANDER is an Alpha-Orange priority task. Information in this project represents a...

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-1981 is currently active. At all times, an agent is to watch SPC-1981 for insights on future Selachian Aggression Events. Information collected on these events is to be input into the GLACON unit present in...

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-2000 is currently active. All required data is archived. Replication of Selachian entities is to continue until further notice from CICAPOCO. The ratio of unmodified Baseline-Type Selachian entities and BLOOD...

Tales

Timeless Substrate | The Noosphere Thoth peered into the Noosphere with an astute curiosity. He glanced down at the ocean of minds: a whirlpool of purple, pink, green, and blue specks, laid out across an absurd distance. He looked up and he saw the Great Selachian, Akheilos, scouring the void for...

Only the tips of Denver's skyscrapers still protruded above the sea: glass tombstones for citizens that were washed away years ago. Within one of those lonesome monoliths, a young man in a red and black life jacket watched the surf. Despite the knowledge of what lurked within that water, he felt a...

“The Real Adventures in Capitalism” is a memetic condition consisting of spontaneously-occurring false memories of an animated television show of the same name. These memories are fragmentary, but portray a consistent picture of the show, even in subjects who have had no contact with other affected...

WANTED: GROUP OF INTEREST A hero is only as good as the villain. The SCP Foundation is looking for prospective Groups of Interest, which can attempt to oppose the SCP Foundation and emphasise the obvious superiority of the SCP Foundation. Interviews will be conducted on ██/██/████ at Dr. Clef's...

The following is a transcription of minutes from the 383rd general meeting of the Coharmonius Pelagic Society. Some details of these minutes may be inaccurate, due to the fact that sound is bubbly and really weird underwater. Hey everybody, Whitey Bulgefin here. Yeah, hello everybody, hope you...

Foundation Universe

Item #: SCP-1569 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1569 is currently contained in an isolated sector of Site-104. The pit in the containment unit is to be filled with water to a depth of thirty meters. SCP-1569 is to remain outfitted with a modified feedbag to minimize...

Item #: SCP-1449 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1449 is contained within a Type-65 Containment Module, measuring 13 meters in diameter. The containment module is to be suspended within the storage chamber by means of a magnetic suspension system, and is to monitored daily...

SCP-1329 Item #: SCP-1329 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: The security perimeter of Site-97 is to be monitored by armed patrol and night-vision security cameras. No further security is necessary. All SCP-1329-1 activity within the grounds of Site-97 or within SCP-1329 is not...

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Jokes

Test firing of an Ahab-2 unit off the Eastern coast of Brazil. Item #: SPC-169 Object Class: Megalodon Shark Punching Contingencies: Due to its immense size, direct punching of SPC-169 will prove impractical. As such, Project Ahab has been established for the full-scale pugilization of SPC-169....

Item #: SCP-7475-J Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7475-J is to be kept at Site 69 in a 6x6x6 meter tank, filled with salt water derived from the Pacific Ocean. Said tank is to be reinforced by three-meter thick steel slabs, removed only for testing and feeding. Subject is...

Thermal imaging of an instance of SPC-3284 Item #: SPC-3284-J Object Class: Great White Shark Punching Contingencies: Due to the extreme heat, instances of SPC-3284 are nearly impossible to engage in their natural habitat. The current protocol for dealing with SPC-3284 infestations is to drain the...

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The SPC theme was created by PeppersGhost based on Sigma-9 by Aelanna,
and used under the Creative Commons Attribution-SharkAlike 3.0 license (CC-BY-SA).



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