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WARNING: THE SHARK PUNCHING CENTER DATABASE IS

CLASSIFIED

ACCESS BY SELACHIAN SYMPATHIZERS IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED
PERPETRATORS WILL BE PUMMELED, TICKLED, AND EATEN

Featured SPC


NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE All activity regarding SPC-001 is to be discontinued...

Featured Tale


The following is a transcription of minutes from the 383rd general meeting of the Coharmonius Pelagic Society. Some details of these minutes may be...

Featured GoI Format document


The first significant reference to SCP-4416-type phenomena can be traced back to the July 26, 2010 airing of conspiracy theorist radio broadcast...

The Best SPC Page of All Time

by AyersAyers


Thoth commanded his fleet of peons to come to his aid, but the daemon's appetite was too voracious. He tore chunk after chunk of Thoth's form, leaving...

News

25 Aug 2019 11:17

A decades-long internal investigation has confirmed longstanding suspicions that sharks are still, in fact, super awful.

June 23, 1999

Transdimensional data corruption has caused numerous unwanted files to manifest on SPC servers. The source of the intrusion appears to be the "Secure Contain Protect Foundation", a parallel entity from an alternate plane of existence, probably. Despite the inherently absurd nature of the SCP, they seem to consider us to be a joke. I'd like to see them try telling that to my nine dead grandmothers.

March 3, 1942

Gee, this sure is a lot of war right here.

October 12, 1893

BREAKING NEWS! Empirical evidence has been uncovered which irrefutably proves that sharks are super awful. Personnel are advised to endouble their fisticuff engagement as they sally forth against the selachian scoundrels. Show 'em what for, chaps! Ods bodkins and sakes alive!


Documents

SPC-507 is a pugilistic operation co-developed by the Centre, Poseidon Labs, and the Liberated Cetacean Union (LCU)....

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-2922 is currently active. Marine Fighting Team ARMÁ ORÚN has been deployed to the BLUE ABYSS and TEETH-FILLED VOID to engage all ASTRAL SEADOG entities located there. The current roster of MFT ARMÁ ORÚN is...

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-1258 has been TERMINATED. All instances of CERULEAN GLOVE Deviant-Class Cetacean Entities are to be terminated through Centre funded whaling operations. CERULEAN GLOVE instances are not to be engaged when...

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-682 is currently operational at the Fortress Ross Experimental Warfare Facility. The continued security of Subject ESTIVAL OUTLANDER is an Alpha-Orange priority task. Information in this project represents a...

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-1981 is currently active. At all times, an agent is to watch SPC-1981 for insights on future Selachian Aggression Events. Information collected on these events is to be input into the GLACON unit present in...

Tales

As soon as Gægr turned, the hulking titan slammed into his underbelly at astounding speeds. The great Cetacean listed to one side, expelling mist from his wake. The whale plummeted, aching with pain....

One hundred billion memories tainted by 200,000 years of vengeance, dread, euphoria, grief, avarice… &...

Only the tips of Denver's skyscrapers still protruded above the sea: glass tombstones for citizens that were washed away years ago. Within one of those lonesome monoliths, a young man in a red and black life jacket watched the surf. Despite the knowledge of what lurked within that water, he felt a...

“The Real Adventures in Capitalism” is a memetic condition consisting of spontaneously-occurring false memories of an animated television show of the same name. These memories are fragmentary, but portray a consistent picture of the show, even in subjects who have had no contact with other affected...

WANTED: GROUP OF INTEREST A hero is only as good as the villain. The SCP Foundation is looking for prospective Groups of Interest, which can attempt to oppose the SCP Foundation and emphasise the obvious superiority of the SCP Foundation. Interviews will be conducted on ██/██/████ at Dr. Clef's...

Foundation Universe

IMPORTANT: This Critter Profile is Super Secret! In light of recent events, the operating staff at Wilson's have decided it may be for the best to keep information about Wobbles under wraps. If you do not have permission from myself, Alice, or Al, please hit that 'X' button at the top right of...

Then, amidst hushed tones, the crooked beak of a particularly mirthful Ancient One descended. He was Djehuti, the Scribe of the Underworld....

As far as I can tell, humanity is beyond saving. If there was any hope before, it's all gone now. My only recommendation is to aim for the head....

Item #: SCP-1569 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1569 is currently contained in an isolated sector of Site-104. The pit in the containment unit is to be filled with water to a depth of thirty meters. SCP-1569 is to remain outfitted with a modified feedbag to minimize...

Item #: SCP-1449 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1449 is contained within a Type-65 Containment Module, measuring 13 meters in diameter. The containment module is to be suspended within the storage chamber by means of a magnetic suspension system, and is to monitored daily...

Jokes

Test firing of an Ahab-2 unit off the Eastern coast of Brazil. Item #: SPC-169 Object Class: Megalodon Shark Punching Contingencies: Due to its immense size, direct punching of SPC-169 will prove impractical. As such, Project Ahab has been established for the full-scale pugilization of SPC-169....

Item #: SCP-7475-J Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-7475-J is to be kept at Site 69 in a 6x6x6 meter tank, filled with salt water derived from the Pacific Ocean. Said tank is to be reinforced by three-meter thick steel slabs, removed only for testing and feeding. Subject is...

Thermal imaging of an instance of SPC-3284 Item #: SPC-3284-J Object Class: Great White Shark Punching Contingencies: Due to the extreme heat, instances of SPC-3284 are nearly impossible to engage in their natural habitat. The current protocol for dealing with SPC-3284 infestations is to drain the...

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