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WARNING: THE SHARK PUNCHING CENTER DATABASE IS

CLASSIFIED

ACCESS BY SELACHIAN SYMPATHIZERS IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED
PERPETRATORS WILL BE PUMMELED, TICKLED, AND EATEN

Featured SPC

by MrWrongMrWrong


NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-2615 is currently on hiatus due to theft of Subject ERIN...

Featured Tale

by DjoricDjoric


Vasvis Ten-Fold Reaper stepped out of the shower, and spread her arms wide. Water dripped down onto the floor as spindly metal arms whirred out from...

Featured GoI Format document


Item #: SCP-1569 Object Class: Euclid Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1569 is currently contained in an isolated sector of Site-104. The pit in...

The Best SPC Page of All Time


The Sacred Djehuti Scribe of the Underworld, Lord of Khemennu, Conciliator of the Crescent Moon, Θωθ12 Conspectus After many ages spent...

News

25 Mar 2019 22:52

A decades-long internal investigation has confirmed longstanding suspicions that sharks are still, in fact, super awful.

June 23, 1999

Transdimensional data corruption has caused numerous unwanted files to manifest on SPC servers. The source of the intrusion appears to be the "Secure Contain Protect Foundation", a parallel entity from an alternate plane of existence, probably. Despite the inherently absurd nature of the SCP, they seem to consider us to be a joke. I'd like to see them try telling that to my nine dead grandmothers.

March 3, 1942

Gee, this sure is a lot of war right here.

October 12, 1893

BREAKING NEWS! Empirical evidence has been uncovered which irrefutably proves that sharks are super awful. Personnel are advised to endouble their fisticuff engagement as they sally forth against the selachian scoundrels. Show 'em what for, chaps! Ods bodkins and sakes alive!


Documents

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-993 is now INACTIVE. Centre personnel may visit the Arena-19 Recreation Wing if they wish to view old episodes of Bobble the Clown Shark to increase morale. Thank you for your loyalty. Search, Punch, Conquer....

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE All activity regarding SPC-001 is to be discontinued indefinitely. This file has been archived along with all prior SPC documentation. A selection of SPC-001 armaments Project #: SPC-001 Selachian...

THE FOLLOWING FILES HAVE BEEN CLASSIFIED WAY GNARLY BY ORDER OF THE HIGH PUGILORD GENERAL NOTICE 001-Àlpha: In order to keep knowledge of SPC-001 from selachian sympathizers, several/no false SPC-001 files have been created alongside the true file/files. All files concerning the nature of...

You are now connected. [13:04] Topic is Fuck credentials, fuck passwords, fuck secrecy, fuck everything. Just, fuck in general. Fuck like it's the end of the world, because it is. Fuck me, please oh lord im so alone | Welcome! If you're still alive to read this, good luck finding someone to talk...

NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE SPC-507 is currently ACTIVE. Any RED NETHER incursions are to be reported to the Command Office immediately, at which point an authorized Marine Fighting Team is to be deployed. All RED NETHER threats are...

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Tales

Info A Surprise Encounter with Crispy Sex Pirates Author: FloppyPhoenix This is a tale for Day 1 of the 144-Hour Jam Contest. The theme was Shaggy Dog story . Crispy Sex Pirates was created accidentally in PeppersGhost (and botnik)'s SCP-\̅\̅\̅\̅-J. Collaborations with other authors ...

look it had to be done Listen while you read: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0krxo46Ifbo ▸ More by this Author ◂ Translations: F.A.Q. Dr. Cimmerian's head exploded in a cloud of red mist. The man who'd fired the shot was hanging from a rope off the side of a wooden sailing...

August 12th, 2018 | Night | Outskirts of Las Vegas The group of birds and shark-punchers emerged from the monorail tunnel to see the blue-tinted night sky of Las Vegas. The bird-people that had once filled the sky were now thinning out. Looking down, Hoygull saw the now-familiar sight of damaged...

Site-18 intranet systems initialized. Accessing SCiPNET:/files/EE-3570/UMBRAL_MIGRATORY_SEQUENCE.txt Opening _ Document EE-3570/UMBRAL MIGRATORY SEQUENCE During an end-of-the-world scenario leading to the significant loss of Foundation assets, the Pluto Protocol exists to establish an...

Timeless Substrate | The Noosphere Thoth peered into the Noosphere with an astute curiosity. He glanced down at the ocean of minds: a whirlpool of purple, pink, green, and blue specks, laid out across an absurd distance. He looked up and he saw the Great Selachian, Akheilos, scouring the void for...

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Foundation Universe

Item Number: SCP-4190 Level 3/4190 Object Class: Safe Classified SCP-4190's front cover. All text with potential for inducing ephialteic (nightmare-related) properties has been expunged. Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4190 is kept in a standard Safe-class containment locker in the...

Item Number: SCP-4416 Level 3/4416 Object Class: Euclid Classified Threat Level: Blue Promotional photograph taken by an SCP-4416-involved group. Subject depicts a beach well-known for frequent occurrences of organized shark-punching. Special Containment Procedures: All aspects of...

IMPORTANT: This Critter Profile is Super Secret! In light of recent events, the operating staff at Wilson's have decided it may be for the best to keep information about Wobbles under wraps. If you do not have permission from myself, Alice, or Al, please hit that 'X' button at the top right of...

The Sacred Djehuti Scribe of the Underworld, Lord of Khemennu, Conciliator of the Crescent Moon, Θωθ12 Conspectus After many ages spent pondering the great expanse, the inhabitants of the Land of Black and Red carefully wove together minute fragments of the cosmos. They pursued knowledge...

Revision #31 of this document was prepared by: THE FOUNDATION AVIAN DIVISION In accordance with the Pluto Protocol Note: By order of Dr Frederick Hoygull, the clearance level required to access this file has been lowered from 3/3570 clearance to 1/GENERAL clearance, due to its relevance to the...

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Jokes

Item #: SPC-172 Object Class: Apollyōken Selachian Pugilization Contingencies: Due to its anomalous effect, SPC-172 is unpunchable. In lieu of the abandoned full-scale punching campaign of SPC-172, the DARWIN CAN EAT MY ASS protocol has been enacted to drive SPC-172 to extinction through...

Item #: SPC-1057 Shark Punching Contingencies: SPC-1057 is to remain in the Lap Pool at Recreation Center 23 until a method of transfer to a smaller, private tank has been devised. In the interim, the Lap Pool is to be closed, and members redirected to Recreation Center 22 for aquatic training....

From the office of the Athletic Coordinator. Ladies and gentlemen of the Centre. When we founded this organization, we had a simple mission statement: Sock. Pummel. Combat. From our humble beginnings following the consolidation of several covert anti-shark organizations1, right on through till...

Project #: SPC-173 Standardized Pugnātorial Coaching: SPC-173 is to remain pool-side at Oceanic Resort Area Ali indefinitely. Personnel vacationing at ORA Ali are required to spend at least sixty minutes within visible range of SPC-173 per twenty-four hour period of their stay at the retreat for...

Test firing of an Ahab-2 unit off the Eastern coast of Brazil. Item #: SPC-169 Object Class: Megalodon Shark Punching Contingencies: Due to its immense size, direct punching of SPC-169 will prove impractical. As such, Project Ahab has been established for the full-scale pugilization of SPC-169....

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The SPC theme was created by PeppersGhost based on Sigma-9 by Aelanna,
and used under the Creative Commons Attribution-SharkAlike 3.0 license (CC-BY-SA).



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