Greetings, and salutations, welcome to the Foundation. Over the years, our organization has grown, and changed, and, as such, there are questions which are asked, quite often. Instead of bothering the dedicated members of our Senior Staff with these questions, over and over again, I have endeavored to answer those questions which are most frequently asked.
What is the Foundation? We are the last bastion of security in a world where the natural laws quite quickly break down. We are here to protect humanity from the things that go bump in the night, from people who wield power beyond mortal understanding, and in general, to make the world a safer place. We are the holders of wonders, and the crafters of dreams. We are why the world continues.
What does SCP stand for? Secure Containment Protocols. Sure, it's not the most original of names, but it's what we got stuck with. That's generally why we go with the Foundation.
A monkey in a lab coat just leered at me. What should I do? Taze him. No, seriously, that's Dr. Bright. There was an accident, the exact details are over your clearance, but the result of which, he is sometimes in the body of an orangutan. He's perverted, relatively harmless, but should he attempt to corner you, the tazer option will not get you in trouble with those senior to you.
My team just contained an incredibly stunning female with the ability to manipulate fire, ice and gravity, but when I came back from lunch she was gone! What might have happened to her? She's been added to my harem. She may have been moved to another site, or we may have decommissioned her, using a more powerful being. We call him Clef.
Is this a frat house, a gulag or a place of serious science? Yes.
I know it's against standard procedure, but I'd like to cross test these two/three/four/five artifacts. Do you think that would be a problem? Sure, go for it. Me and the rest of the planet will be over here, where things aren't exploding.
Are the senior staff all insane? Not all of them. Some are just clinically depressed, or homicidally inept.
How do I become senior staff? Live long enough to get promoted. Don't sleep with any SCPs. (Seriously, why does anyone ever think it's a good idea to stick their dick in something they can't see? I'm looking at you Rodney.)
Does anyone live long enough to retire? Yes. However, due to the level of amnesiacs needed to wipe out your time here, most choose not to retire, and instead choose a life of paperwork and upper management.
How do I get out of here?? Door's to your left.
