Author Page: scpcrnp

Item #: SCP-CRNP
Object Class: Reasonably Safe NEUTRALIZED

List of Unsuccessful Attempts

Most if not all author pages boast authors' achievements and rightfully so; success on this site is not easy. As with anything though, it comes very naturally to some individuals and without steep learning curves. In an attempt to convey some realism to those like myself, here is a compilation of failures I've experienced since contributing.

  • Early drafts of SCP-3436 - My first SCP was a learning experience with regards to many things. I attempted mainlisting once with disastrous results. After some polishing and help on the draft forums, it did relatively well the second attempt.
  • What was previously SCP-3971 - It was a USB drive that converted any picture file placed on it to an auditory cognitohazard that engendered a paraphilia specific to was on the image. For example, a picture of a tree would be automatically converted to a .wav file and while that file was playing, the listener experienced an attraction to trees. The intention of the SCP was to explore the concept that the Foundation is staffed with people of the utmost moral quality simply by virtue of their employment; however, it did not do so tactfully. The SCP did ok and rested at a score of +17 or so. Rather than hold onto the cheap thrill of having a few more upvotes and my name on another mainlisted SCP, I deleted the file concluding that it wasn't going to be up to the standards I'd like to showcase.
  • "First" Joke SCP attempt: SCP-$It's \over 9000$-J - I thought to widen the portfolio, I'd attempt a joke SCP. While waiting impatiently for review and criticism regarding an already-existing draft, I decided I'd attempt to cold-post a second joke SCP, in part as a sort of experiment to see if all the waiting in the draft forums is worth it (it is). The article was a clinical and technical interpretation of the senzu bean from Dragonball Z. I'll say; the article was by far the most fun I've had writing in the format, however it was not favorably received, in part due to a rule I had overlooked (despite it being literally the second thing recommended on the joke page) which says:

"Pop culture and video game references don't work when done straight. Just as with main series SCPs about mythology or folklore, it generally won't work unless you add a healthy dose of Foundation-flavored twist to it. Evangelions and portal guns [and senzu beans] simply won't cut it." brackets mine

It was promptly disemboweled.

  • What was previously SCP-4997. It was a device which when worn, displayed the remaining number of times a given action or event would happen in the wearer’s life. I recognize a mistake when I see one, so that mistake was corrected.
  • What was previously SCP-4899, “Payday”. A gravitational anomaly that caused the Earth to switch from being spherical to flat, and the Foundation finding a way to capitalize on it monetarily. Was ok but still below the standards I’d like for myself.
  • Countless unrealized and/or unreleased projects. Thankfully, you never read these.

(List in progress.)

List of SCPs in Chronological Order of Release

(List in progress.)

List of Tales in Chronological Order of Release

(List in progress.)

CSS Themes:
Foundation Medical



"I don't need to be the sun, I don't need to be the moon;
I'm content to be the light in the corner of this room.” - Ben Smolin

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