SCP-80s-J
rating: +96+x
kids.jpg

Children who, while not themselves instances of SCP-80s-J, very well could have been under different circumstances.

Item #: SCP-80s-J

Object Class: Uncontained

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-80s-J is currently uncontained. Mobile Task Force G-IJ0 “Parents Just Don’t Understand” have been tasked with implementing more effective containment procedures, or any at all.

Description: SCP-80s-J is the group designation for four anomalous human children, ages 12-13, currently residing within the midwest town of Point Ellis, Nebraska. SCP-80s-J are capable of a variety of anomalous abilities, specifically, advanced perception, ability to escape (former) trained personnel with years of containment experience, ability to commune with anomalous creatures, and more. The full range of SCP-80s-J’s abilities are not known.

Each instance of SCP-80s-J is listed below:

  • SCP-80s-J-1: Goes by the name Patrick Cooper. 13 years old. Caucasian, 1.4m in height, brown hair, brown eyes. Attends Point Ellis Middle School. Commonly seen riding a Schwinn bicycle he calls “The Blue Stallion”. Named his pet dog “Emperor Pupatine”.
  • SCP-80s-J-2: Goes by the name Emily Norris. 12 years old. Caucasian, 1.35m in heigh, blonde hair, blue eyes. Attends Point Ellis Middle School. Expresses unrequited adolescent affection towards SCP-80s-J-1. Carries a stuffed bear called “Mr. Doodle”.
  • SCP-80s-J-3: Goes by the name Martin Miller. 13 years old. African-American, 1.6m in height, black hair, brown eyes. Attends Point Ellis Middle School. Lives next door to SCP-80s-J-1. Likes sports. Makes fun of SCP-80s-J for being a nerd, but secretly collects trading cards bearing the images of cartoon horses.
  • SCP-80s-J-4: Goes by the name Sam Lee. Chinese-American. 12 years old. 1.3m in height, black hair, brown eyes. Attends Point Ellis Middle School. Rarely speaks. Anomalously capable with advanced technology. Seemingly capable of appearing and disappearing at will.

Addendum 80s-J.1: Discovery

SCP-80s-J was discovered in March of 1982, when Foundation personnel arrived at the town of Point Ellis to seek and contain an eldritch abomination called “Vog the Mutilator”. SCP-80s-J instances were able to evade containment personnel at every turn, eventually allowing for Vog the Mutilator to breach containment and escape.

Addendum 80s-J.2: Audio Logs

The following are excerpts from audio logs collected by Foundation containment personnel during the attempted containment of Vog the Mutilator.

D-9 Eda: We’re moving into the library now.

Command: Copy that. Remember, we’re looking for anything that might connect back to Vog. Ancient manuscripts, hidden town maps showing underground catacombs, convenient hidden passageways, that sort of thing.

D-9 Harris: Copy that. Looks like the library is empty. (Pauses) Wait, hey, what are those kids doing over there? Hey you kids, what are you doing over there?

SCP-80s-J-1: Uh… oh, nothing mister. Just doing some, uh, uh—

SCP-80s-J-3: Homework!

SCP-80s-J-1: That’s right! Homework! Have to keep up our education, you know!

D-9 Eda: I like your attitude, kid. Stay in school, don’t do drugs. Say, what’s that the short one is hiding behind his back?

SCP-80s-J-4: 我什么也不隐瞒。1

D-9 Eda: Welp. Good enough for me. You kids get out of here. Go on now, scram.

SCP-80s-J-2: Golly, thank you miss!

All SCP-80s-J instances leave the library.

D-9 Harris: Good kids.

D-9 Eda: You’re right. Alright, let’s see here… Vob the Merciless, Vod the Impressionable, Voe the Unconscionable… hey, wait. There’s a book missing here, right where Vog the Mutilator should be!

D-9 Harris: Those damn kids took the book!

D-9 Harris: Roger command, we (huff) are moving down (puff) towards the river (huff) in pursuit of (puff) an unidentified entity (huff) we believe is (puff) Vog the Mutilator.

D-9 Eda: There, in the bushes! Come out with your hands up!

SCP-80s-J-2: Oh, uh, hey there officer. What uh, what can we do for you?

D-9 Harris: Hey, its those kids who took that book from earlier! The hell are you kids doing down here by the river?

SCP-80s-J-3: You know, kid stuff. Skipping rocks, looking for Old Man Smithers’ bones. That sort of thing.

D-9 Eda: Uh huh. And what’s that big, eldritch abomination looking shape under that tablecloth you’re all struggling to hold down?

SCP-80s-J-1: Uh… it’s Sam’s brother.

SCP-80s-J-4: 他的胃口很大。2

D-9 Harris: I don’t understand a word you’re saying, but I believe you. You kids keep an eye out now, there’s strange things lurking around here.

SCP-80s-J-3: Stranger things?

D-9 Harris: What?

SCP-80s-J-3: Nothing, nevermind.

All SCP-80s-J instances leave.

D-9 Eda: I just don’t get it. These huge tentacled footprints come right down to the river and then just stop, right where those kids were standing.

D-9 Harris: Hang on, you don’t think those kids had Vog the Mutilator under that tablecloth, do you?

D-9 Eda: …Damn it!

D-9 Eda: Alright you kids. We had your principal call you down here today because we need to ask you some questions above some questionable behaviour we’ve seen recently.

SCP-80s-J-1: Sure ma’am, anything we can do to help.

D-9 Harris: Good. First qu- hang on. Aren’t there just four of you? Who’s your friend here?

Unidentified Individual: G͏͚̺̼ͅͅo̹̜r̖̣͉̥̗ḇ̱̳͓͉̠̼̙̕l̢̦͕̯̲͡ḛ͔͔̤̱̜̟̥̯͡ ̶̻͚̟͖ĺ̡̘̭͇̩̻͚o̡͇̖͍̞̤̝̥̘r͉̩̮͘͝ ̶̞̹̟̥̩͉̫͠ͅm̴̰͉̩̞͉ǫ͙̪͚̼r̷̵̛͈͍̣̼̯̭ͅc̩̱̩̣̲̳̰͞͝ͅḩ̴̤̩̬̜̯̣̪͡l̠̺̦̻̘͍̩̼e̕͏̤͕̩d̼̝̝̞̪̣͜ę̯̦̠̞̲̻̯͟ ͏҉̤̙l̜̫ò̫̱̼̟̬̬̹ŕ̷̹̲͙̠͡g̷̷͍̠̀ò̳̫̼̹̯̕r҉̖̙͠b͚̣͚̗̗̕i̖̖͓͕̤͞ǹ͍̜

SCP-80s-J-2: This is our friend, uh… Pog. Pog the Multinational.

D-9 Eda: Huh. You know, Pog looks sort of like an eldritch abomination under an oversized trench coat and sunglasses wearing a fedora.

SCP-80s-J-3: Yeah, of course, he’s… Canadian.

D-9 Harris: Oh, well, shit, Eda. Apologize to the man, come on now.

D-9 Eda: I’m so sorry Mr. the Multinational. I didn’t mean to offend your cultural sensibilities.

Unidentified Individual: K̛͈̻͇̳̝͡ĺ̡͔ų̺̥̳̻̦͖͢t̵̢͉̳̖̹h̡̺̹̻̗̳͘ù͈̦͎̼ ̧̧̛͈͓͙͕̖̮̤K̢̹̜͓̝͚͈̣̼l̥̤̻̥͔ṵ̬̲͝t̬̫h̸̩̠͢͡ͅu͉͉̺̞͠ ̣͍̺̮͓͟͞m̗͕̀̕͢a̦̝̟̜̳̳g̹̹̖̭n͖͓̰̱̻̫̦̼̺ó̶̷̲̘͚̼͉̻l̶͈̠͕ͅi̞͖͚͟ḁ͓̜̳͢͡ͅ ̢̛̤͙͍̫̹̝̝w̨̭̠͙͈̤̟͓o̲̥̰̜̩͠ǫ͎̼b̵̰̜͓l͏̷͚̜̞̗̗e̬͕̤̘̺̹͠ ̜͈̞͖͉w̨̛̹͕̯̰o͈̰o̵̴̬̹̟b͖̤̼̱͉͙̲̕l̘̘e̢̪̞͘͡

D-9 Eda: What a beautiful language, Canadian.

D-9 Harris: Stow it, Eda. Listen you kids, we don’t know how it’s happened, but we keep running into you during the course of our… investigation. Now, we’re not saying that you’re actively hiding an eldritch abomination say, for example, as one of your classmates under a shaky alias and oversized trench coat, but we also want to know that you’d tell us if you were. You would, wouldn’t you?

SCP-80s-J-4: 我什么也不承认。3

D-9 Harris: Good. Alright, that’s all we had. Go ahead and get back to class. It was a pleasure to meet you, Pog.

Unidentified Individual: G̴̘̫̠̕ͅe̛͈̲̮͇̤̯̝t̗͉̲̞̤͖̝͉́͘ ͔͓͉̤̝͠f̳͈͎͉̮͕u̸͏̬̗̠c͎̺̗͔̘͟͢k̡҉͎̹̺e̛̼̠̣̬d̛͔̯̲͍̖̣̀ ͙̱̳̬̠̳̩ͅm̗̳̬͢͝ẹ̸̛̫͚͘a̖̰͟͟t̮̙̬̖̙͇ ̴̬̗̘̘͍m͕͙̥͓̯̫̳͚a̟̮͙͖̣͓̰͖͙n̺̥̻͚̯͈̗͎̣

D-9 Eda: Command, this is D-9 Eda. We’ve got him, we’re heading back to base.

Command: Good job, D-9 team. You’ll both be due for a promotion when you get back.

D-9 Harris: Hell yeah. Hey, how about we stop at that bar over there and get a drink before we leave. Something celebratory.

D-9 Eda: What about Vog?

D-9 Harris: Ehh, he’ll be fine. He’s all tied up in the back of the truck.

D-9 Eda: Sure, let’s get a drink then.

Both members of the D-9 team stop at a bar to get a drink. They go inside and sit at the bar.

Bartender: Well hello there fellow adults. What can I get for you on this fine day?

D-9 Harris: You know… I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere before. Doesn’t this guy look familiar, Eda?

D-9 Eda: Yeah… you’ve got a real youthful look about you, guy. Like you’re two kids stacked on top of one another wearing an apron with a fake mustache.

Bartender: Oh no, nothing like that. I’m just a bartender, obviously, just back here making some… bar… drinks. So what can I get you? A coke with… lemon? Like, a lot of lemon? Or maybe just a glass of lemons that I pour a… a Sprite over, or something?

D-9 Harris: You know what? That sounds lovely and refreshing. We’ll get two, but- ah, shit. I left my wallet out in the truck. Let me go get-

Bartender: Oh no no, no need for that. This one is on us tonight, obviously. As thanks for all your, uh, hard police work.

D-9 Eda: Aw, that’s so nice of him, Harris! You know, you really don’t get hospitality like this anywhere but little towns anymore.

D-9 Harris: Absolutely. Sir, I’ll have two- hey, wait. Where’d he go? And why is his apron and mustache laying in the middle of the floor?

D-9 Eda: Harris, look! Vog has sprouted four sets of tiny legs and is getting away! We have to go get him!

D-9 Harris: But… but I wanted my jar of lemons with a Sprite poured over it.

Addendum 80s-J.3: Post-Incident Review Log

Dr. Kenning: Let me get this straight. You two, both experienced containment personnel with thirty years between the two of you, were unable to contain an entity you had in the back of your truck, thanks to the efforts of four prepubescent children?

D-9 Harris: Prepubescent is a stretch. The Chinese one had some hair on that upper lip, he was getting there.

Dr. Kenning: I don’t even know how to— do you have any idea what you did?

D-9 Eda: Well… I mean, it could be worse, right?

Dr. Kenning: What? No! It literally could not be worse, we are literally currently evacuating the site. Vog the Mutilator has brought about the end of the world, and it's you two numbnuts’ fault.

D-9 Eda: Mmmmmmmm yeah, I think it may have said something about the end of the world, but… I don’t speak Canadian, so I wasn’t sure.

D-9 Harris: So what now?

Dr. Kenning: What now? We’re running for our lives! A dark cosmic god is literally right now descending upon us with its legions of skinflayers!

D-9 Harris: Ahhhh, gotcha, gotcha. Cool. (Pauses) I never did see Dr. Kenning or Eda again. I heard Eda got a job back home, in Rochester, and lived with her aunt who owned a lesbian tattoo parlor in-

Dr. Kenning: Wh- what are you doing? Who are you talking to?

D-9 Eda: I still think about Harris, from time to time. I saw in the paper a while back where they named a school after him back in Little Rock, in honor of his bravery. He was the bravest man I ever-

D-9 Harris: -and I wonder sometimes about those kids, and the adventure they had. About the adventure we all had, really. We all grew up a little bit that summer, really-

D-9 Eda: (Singing) Don't, you…

D-9 Harris: -something we'd think about for years afterwards. And even though we all grew up and went our seperate ways-

D-9 Eda: (Singing) -forget about me. Don't, don't, don't, don't…

Dr. Kenning: Who are you talking to? Why are you singing? Who are you talking to!?

D-9 Harris: -you know what? Maybe Vog was just the friends we made along the way.

Dr. Kenning: (Incoherent Screaming)

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