Item #: SCP-662
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-662 should be kept in its red velvet lined case and stored in High Value Storage locker 23C located at ███████ when not being utilized for testing or other appropriate activities. The item itself is safe to handle, and poses no known threats of any kind, though the effects generated could be considered highly valuable and variably powerful depending upon how the SCP is used.
Description: SCP-662 is a small silver hand bell, 4 cm tall and 2 cm in circumference. The bell is missing its ringer. Within the inside of the bell, an inscription has been etched into the silver, reading: “Forever Mine – S.J.W.” The bell is susceptible to damage; however, given its safe nature, destruction has been deemed unnecessary. As it is made of very pure silver, it requires regular polishing to remain without tarnish.
When the bell is shaken as if to ring it, a soft chime can be heard (although this does not come from the bell). A short well-dressed Caucasian butler of self-proclaimed British heritage, calling himself Mr. Deeds, will appear from the nearest area not within line of sight, usually from around a corner. Mr. Deeds will address the ringer of the bell by their appropriate title and last name, and ask what it is they desire. His knowledge of individuals’ last names and titles is a mystery, as he himself will purport. Please see interview log 662-L1 for further details.
Most reasonable requests given to Mr. Deeds will result in satisfaction. However, there are limits to what he can do. He is unable to produce very complex items such as sports cars, luxury homes, or personal jets. If he is allowed to leave line of sight and return, he is able to produce smaller, less complex items such as a ham sandwich, a glass of iced tea, or even more luxurious items like caviar or a brick of gold. A list of notable items the butler has thus far been able to provide to those who ring the bell may be found in addendum 662-A1.
Mr. Deeds will also perform menial tasks, such as washing vehicles, preparing food, and cleaning bathrooms. If a request is deemed unreasonable or impossible by the butler, he will kindly tell the ringer so, and offer an alternative if one may be had.
The butler is not immune to ill actions taken against him while in sight. He has been killed or injured in multiple tests, and will remain either dead or injured until he is out of sight. Upon return with a ring of the bell, all previous injuries will have vanished and he will be groomed and well dressed in his uniform, and ready for the next order.
A more detailed explanation of the jobs he can perform and the limits to which he may be put can be found in the aforementioned interview log 662-L1. Test logs relating to his ability to heal himself, and those of the properties of the bell, may be accessed by any level 2 or higher personnel. All attempts to catch Mr. Deeds "disappearing" have failed, as equipment will either fail or he will find a suitable unobserved spot.
662-A1: Items and Tasks Requested and results
-Nearly any conceivable kind of sandwich. Human flesh has been requested as lunchmeat and politely denied.
-Beverages, also of nearly any kind. As with sandwich meat, human blood has been requested and denied. Pig blood, however, was served promptly, still warm.
-A brick of 99.98 percent pure gold (Mr. Deeds produced a brick of 99.14 percent pure gold, and apologized for being unable to provide the requested purity).
-A brick of 99.24 percent pure silver.
-A nuclear bomb (politely denied).
-A hand grenade of modern U.S. Military grade, which performed as expected in testing.
-A blue 1963 Corvette convertible (politely denied).
-The board game Monopoly, which Mr. Deeds won on the first playthrough.
-A Fabergé egg (politely denied).
-SCP-███ (politely denied).
-A bouquet of fresh-picked red roses.
-A bouquet of wild "ternbusty"s (politely denied; "ternbusty" is not an actual known type of flower).
-Cleaning of Dr. Mirth's car: Performed to near perfection.
-Washing of dishes accumulated from a day's worth of meals from the cafeteria on level ██ of █████████: Performed, to much higher standards than usual.
-Trimming of Dr. Mirth's hair: Performed, but it turns out that Mr. Deeds is not in fact a very good barber.
-Washing of Dr. Mirth's laundry: Performed, and the clothing found to "fit better" in Dr. Mirth's estimation.
-Assassination of Osama bin Laden: Politely denied: Mr. Deeds claimed bin Laden was too well guarded and entrenched, but could not or would not give further details.
-Assassination of a D-class individual a room over: Performed with vicious precision using a buck knife to the throat.
Note: Further tests with regards to Dr. Mirth's personal effects are to be forbidden unless approved by one level O5 overseer. You've been warned, Dr. Mirth. - O5-█
SCP-662 was discovered in the possession of a petty thief and grave robber in █████, ██, USA. The thief was in the process of selling SCP-662 to a pawn shop in the mentioned town when the bell was accidentally “rung” by the pawn shop attendant. Mr. Deeds appeared from the storage area behind the counter and promptly addressed the attendant. Believing that he was about to be robbed by the two men, the attendant overreacted and managed to get hold of a sawed-off shotgun from under the counter. Mr. Deeds was fatally wounded by the attendant and died on scene.
The thief escaped, but was apprehended by Foundation agents after a week-long search of the surrounding towns. Under questioning, the thief revealed that he found the bell in its box in the grave of ██████████ ████████, located on the outskirts of the above mentioned town. He was then remitted for D-class personnel assignment and subsequently perished during testing of SCP-███.
The bell did not come under the purview of the Foundation until after the crime and subsequent transport of Mr. Deeds’ body to the local morgue. After the disappearance of the body from the morgue, an agent was sent to investigate the possible outbreak of SCP-███ or other unknown necrotic reinvigorating cause.
Mr. Deeds reappeared in the Case File Item Storage room of the local constabulary after the bell was handled by Sergeant █████. He was quickly apprehended and Agent ███████ took him into custody three hours after reappearance under the guise of an FBI agent. When the handcuffed Mr. Deeds once again disappeared, the agent intuited that the bell itself may have something to do with the string of incidents, and after acquiring it and testing proved his hunch, brought the bell back to ███████ for further testing. Agent ███████ was awarded an official Foundation “Pat on the Back” plaque for his handling of the incident and lack of self serving interest once he discovered what the bell and Mr. Deeds were capable of.