Information Log 06/08/15
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 76212L
The results came through for the SCP-4593 testing. Turns out, it did cause the deaths. As of now I have around a week of air left, then two years to figure out how the fuck I get more. Hopefully, the enhancement from SCP-4593 will come in handy.
First, I'll send out an MTF to that shithole we got the air from. Maybe there's still some there, but I'm really grasping at straws. All I wanted was for my brain to work a bit faster. When I was younger, I was always the smartest in my school, but everyone here is just as intelligent as me, if not even more. At least my position as Head Researcher lets me try to get some more gas.
Information Log 09/08/15
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 44650L
The MTF is back. There's no sign of any more SCP-4593 reserves, and I'm on my last few canisters. I know the O5s keep a couple more in secure storage from before they knew it killed people, but they'll never give me them without a reason, and the truth would get me dismissed or tested on. And I can't stress just how bad lying to or stealing from the Overseers would be.
I'm running out of options already. If only I’d waited three more weeks before I started this air. At least I'll have two years while my brain is a ticking time bomb.
Information Log 12/08/15
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 9326L
I have maybe one day left of this before it’s gone. Still no ideas for how to fix this shit. The intelligence I'm meant to have really isn't coming in that handy. I don't want to have to take from the Overseers, but if it means possibly surviving for longer, then it might end up happening.
In other news, but still related, Junior Researcher Bradbury has asked me why I've been 'on edge' lately. I've blamed it on stress, but I can't keep up this facade for ever. At least, if I do die, the next Head Researcher will see what I've had to suffer through.
Information Log 13/08/15
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
I ran out of it today. Bradbury is threatening to report me to the Site Director, he says I'm acting unstable. I'm trying to hide it, but if anybody ends up checking SCP-4593's vault then they'll find a ton of empty containers. They'll draw the lines leading to me eventually.
I know what I can try: I'll change the containment procedures to strongly discourage testing. That should fix it. No, no, that's way too conspicuous. At least I've got two years to find a better solution.
Information Log 09/09/15
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
FUCK! Site-77's annual inspection is next week. They'll find out everything is gone. I've got two options: fake a containment breach or steal from the overseers. The first option wouldn’t work, SCP-4593 doesn’t diffuse at all. It would just be expected to be all in one place, which can’t happen if it doesn’t exist any more. Stealing from the overseers is a really bad idea, as I’ve mentioned before. It’s a bit of a Catch-22 situation right now.
I’ve got one other option that might be what I have to go with, but morally it’s DARK grey. Theoretically, if I was to blame Bradbury for this, it would be his word against mine. And I’m Head Researcher. Yes, they would find out I was lying in two years, but like, I’ll be dead anyway unless I can figure something else out. This is absolutely immoral. This was all my fault in the first place but I do have to at least try to survive. I've got family and friends who need me.
Information Log 15/09/15
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
It… worked? Bradbury is undergoing experimentation. I forgot he wouldn’t have any SCP-4593-1 in his brain and almost thought they would smell a rat, but he’s being investigated as an exception to the normal symptoms. All the things he said while being detained (which were actually completely true) are being put down as symptoms related to his exposure and his acceptance that his life is limited.
I feel sick to the stomach about it all, but in my head it was the right thing to do. I’ve got a family who need me. Anyway, I’m being given another anomaly to work with, so my entries here will be less frequent, at least until I get closer to the end.
Information Log 19/07/16
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
Bradbury is back out. Shit. They couldn’t find any reason why he wouldn’t react the same as everyone else when exposed to the gas. But after almost a year of near-constant experimentation, he’s kind of unstable and desperate to expose me for what I did. He’s going to have to be removed if I want to keep up this masquerade. But how to make it look like it’s not my fault? I’m going to have to fake a suicide; it can be blamed on his time in solitary confinement.
Information Log 22/07/16
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
Bradbury is dead. His fingerprints were on the gun. But my morality is gone too. Poor guy, why did I do this to him? He had so much longer to live, and I have a year left. But he’s not me, and he doesn’t have my family. This is awful, looking at his bleeding corpse really hurt my soul. At least I can only live with myself for a bit longer, whether I want to or not.
But I can’t just let it happen. I want my kids to have a dad for as long as possible. Anything that will delay it is something I will consider.
Information Log 14/10/16
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
It’s struck me recently how little time I’ve got left. It’s really fucking with my head, but no therapy or anything would work because I can’t tell anyone the truth. How long is it really? Like, ten months? Oh my god, it’s really ruining my sleep: most nights I dream about my head exploding. I scream in pain as my brain, riddled with tumors, leaks out of my bleeding head as everything fades away. Even though I know it’s not real, I wake up sweating. How is the pain so real? I just want to rest.
I need the stuff the Overseers keep. It would let me get at least a few hours of rest. I can’t live with this many sleepless nights. Whatever it takes to get that gas, I'll fucking do it.
Information Log 26/10/16
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
I’m drafting up an email to O5-6. I’m asking if they have any supplies of SCP-4593 left, in the guise of a request for further testing. Testing on me, heh (That bit isn’t in the email).
Information Log 27/10/16
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
The request was denied, they claimed it was 'of the utmost importance for essential strategic operations'. Fucking boilerplate response. I really am going to have to steal it. I need the gas. I need to live, at least for a bit longer. For my family? Yes, for my family.
Information Log 21/12/16
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
I’m planning the heist. It’s going to be on Christmas when they are less likely to notice. I know where they keep it in storage. Now, how to get it out? Do I need to get it out? Why do that when I can stay near it, breathe the beautiful air, keep me alive. I need it. I need it for my family. All for them. I can’t access this in their storage. If I’m not back, the guards caught me. I've got a gun on me, murder doesn't feel as bad any more. They're all going for a good cause and it's definitely worth it. For the greater good.
Information Log 30/12/16
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
I found it. I found the elixir. It was great. It’s gone now. What did I delay death for? 5 days? It was worth it. I got the best sleep I’ve ever had on the cold concrete floor. Good thing they don’t have any security camera on that vault: nobody is meant to know it exists. Hopefully the corpses don't give them any clues to what happened. Or the urine. They don't give a shit about anyone so they will never notice. But me, I do care about what's important. I do.
Information Log 27/02/17
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
the nightmares came back and they are worse. it hurts me now, causes actual pain i get less than 2 hours of sleep before my head fills with screams and agony. i have sleeping pills now i hope they help. or i will go mad before the air gets me.
Information Log 15/04/16
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
The sleeping pills are working. But I’m pretty reliant on them now. And I don’t like this addiction. I’ve managed to avoid addiction all my life and now sleeping pills are the thing I’m reliant on? At least there’s nothing else. No hardcore drugs or anything. But my time left here is months. I would do anything to get more SCP-4593. There's no way though. It just doesn't exist any more.
Information Log 19/05/17
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
It hit me like a fucking truck earlier today. I’m going to die. I did everything I could. I killed people, I robbed people, I slept in a fucking storage vault with a ton of canisters of compressed air. And all for nothing. There’s 3 months left and it’s coming faster and faster. I need more air. For my family?
Information Log 03/06/17
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 1000L
I FOUND IT! There’s one more canister of it, one more big steel tube of goodness. Yes, it only lasts a couple hours, but I’ve got a better plan. I’m going to ask some of the Junior Researchers to divert all their attention to this stuff and what makes it tick. I’m going to make more. I’m going to live.
The researchers said no. They said it hadn’t worked before, so why would it work now? Maybe they’re right, but they can’t disobey me. I’m in charge and I need the air, so they need to try their very fucking best to get me it. I can’t report this higher up, because we officially stopped the investigation into SCP-4593. I need to find a way. There’s one, but I’m not quite desperate enough. Not yet.
Information Log 21/06/17
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 108L
I fucking snapped. Sitting there, doing all the shit I could to stay alive, with the elixir of life in the corner. It beckoned me over constantly, calling me to indulge in its beauty. Ali, the new guy who I'd chosen to look after SCP-4593's cylinder, is out cold on the floor and nobody will believe his side of the story. It was inevitable. It felt good, but I had to stop myself. I need it for research. I need to make more. I want to live. For me. I don’t want to die. I'm important. If nothing comes out of this in a month, I’ll have to do the thing I mentioned in the last log. It will be worth it in the end.
Information Log 21/07/17
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 108L
its been a month and i can’t take it any more. theres three weeks left and i want time away from this place. the pills dont work as well now and my head has started hurting. im locked in the lab with my junior researchers. i dont need any more food i will be dead by then and theres a water cooler. i dont care about my researchers i just want to live. i dont care about anything any more unless it keeps me alive. the research hasnt got anywhere yet and im almost at the point of using the gas. two of them are dead already. they wouldnt do the work so their brains are doing the work now. i need to find a way to stop the chemical and i needed brains to test. if your reading this it didnt work. if youre reading this then i lost.
Information Log 17/08/17
Accessible SCP-4593 Supplies: 0L
the researchers are dead my fingerprints are on the gun they didnt help at all i needed the elixir and they couldnt supply it this will be my last entry here im hungry but the food was good and tired and scared and defeated and the corpses are speaking to me they say im insane but i am not im more intelligent its what the gas did they are wrong but now their dead and the director will come then ill be dead and at least i will sleep then but i dont need sleep i just want life for me why did this happen why cant anyone get more air i need it i needed it i need it i need it i need it why are people so stupid why am i the only one who knows what to do why cant the air comebakc the voices hurt my head bu tmy deth will hutr more and its com ing the end i need the air it can come now please the pain is unbearable and im screaming at my chair but nobody can hear me because they are dead on the floor and I need the air and i need to live