rating: +37+x


The exterior of SCP-444-J

Item #: SCP-444-J

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-444-J is to be occupied by no less than 2 Foundation personnel under Cover Story 197 (Condemned Building). Anyone attempting to access SCP-444-J are to be apprehended, interrogated as to their intentions, and administered Class-B amnestics. All personnel who are stationed at SCP-444-J are to be made aware of the anomalies of the objects within it as to prevent injury. Testing involving SCP-444-1-J through SCP-444-4-J are to be approved by at least 1 Level 3 personnel. Tests involving SCP-444-5-J have been strictly forbidden. All personnel testing SCP-444-1-J through SCP-444-4-J are to be trained in the proper handling of them. Investigation into the whereabouts of the entities found within SCP-444-J upon containment is ongoing.

Description: SCP-444-J is a small store located in Sandwich, Illinois. A sign within the store reads, “Dootin’ Tootin’ Shootin’”. No official records show a store of this name ever existing. The interior of the store is adorned with various plastic Halloween decorations. During its operation, SCP-444-J sold a variety of woodwind and brass instruments, henceforth referred to as SCP-444-1-J through SCP-444-5-J. The anomalous properties of SCP-444-1-J through SCP-444-5-J all revolve around their usage as weapons. All attempts to find the source of SCP-444-1-J through SCP-444-5-J’s ammunition have been unsuccessful. The effects of these instances have been cataloged and are available below.

SCP-444-1-J has the appearance of an average trumpet. When an instance of SCP-444-1-J is played, a single 9mm bullet is propelled from the bell of SCP-444-1-J through unknown means. When the bullet is propelled from SCP-444-1-J, it makes a noise similar to an average trumpet, but muffled slightly. After the bullet is fired, SCP-444-1-J will continue to shoot 14 more projectiles until ceasing. The object will only continue to fire when all of its pistons have been depressed and released.

SCP-444-2-J has the appearance of an average alto saxophone. When an instance of SCP-444-2-J is played, a single shotgun shell will be fired from the bell of the object. The noise made from the object during this is heavily muffled. Once the bullet is fired, SCP-444-2-J will only shoot another round once all of SCP-444-2-J’s keys have been depressed. When this occurs, a 12 gauge shotgun shell will be ejected from the bell of SCP-444-2-J. Markings on the shell indicate that it was manufactured by Black Hills Ammunition.

SCP-444-3-J has the appearance of an average clarinet. Several of these instances have a small bayonet affixed to the bell. Instances that have this also have a tag wrapped around the lower joint of the object. The tag reads, “Enjoy your complimentary clarinet bayonet, courtesy of Tootin’ Dootin’ Shootin’.” When played, instances of SCP-444-3-J fire a small metal ball, resembling those shot by muskets manufactured during the late 1700s. Once an instance of SCP-444-3-J has been fired, it will only fire again once all of its keys have been depressed for several seconds.

SCP-444-4-J is a collection of 314 kazoos. When an instance of SCP-444-4-J is played, the instance will suddenly explode after approximately 4 seconds. The force of the explosion is equivalent to that of a standard fragmentation grenade. It is unknown how SCP-444-4-J instances produce this explosion, as examinations have revealed them to be hollow and made of standard plastic.

SCP-444-5-J has the appearance of an ornate set of bagpipes. Unlike other anomalous instruments discovered within SCP-444-J , SCP-444-5-J was found within a glass case behind the buildings counter. When played, SCP-444-J will fire one 40m shell grenade through each of its pipes. The ensuing explosion will usually cause major structural damage to objects and structures around SCP-444-5-J, including the person who played it. SCP-444-5-J is unable to be damaged by these grenades.

Addendum: SCP-444-J was discovered on 10/24/██ when a music instructor at a local high school unintentionally purchased an instance of SCP-444-2-J. He then went to his house and accidentally fired the instance while showing it to his children. The instructor then reported the object to the police, where Foundation officials intercepted the man and administered Class B amnestics as required.

The object was then traced to SCP-444-J, where MTF Omicron-3 (“Spooky Scary”) were sent to investigate. Once MTF members attempted to enter the establishment, they were met with heavy gunfire. Accounts from MTF members reveal multiple humanoid entities resembling animate skeletons using instances of SCP-444-1-J against personnel. Another MTF member reported one entity using a tuba-like object to fire explosive projectiles at Foundation personnel. Approximately 20 minutes into the assault, the entities fled through the back door of the structure, taking multiple anomalous instruments with them. 4 members of MTF Epsilon-6 were injured in the conflict, suffering only minor injuries. After the assault, a small note was found amongst the debris on the floor. The note read, “We hope you’ve enjoyed your free trial of our latest product, the Tubazooka©, courtesy of Tootin’ Dootin’ Shootin’.”

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