Item #: SCP-4357-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-4357-J is currently contained within a cylindrical space defined by a circular pattern of esoteric glyphs written on the floor in red and white chalk, 2.4 m in diameter. This design is furthermore surrounded by a square cage measuring 5m x 5m x 4m, composed of cold-wrought iron and inscribed with glyphs similar to those written in the inner circle. The cage is surrounded by a hexagram composed of sea-salt and silver dust.
Any personnel directly interacting with SCP-4357-J must have the symbols of at least 3 different religions clearly visible on their person at all times, and must be devout in one of them. They should carry a spray bottle or mister filled with purified water that has been blessed by an ordained clergy-member of the individual's faith. If SCP-4357-J becomes uncooperative or hostile, personnel are authorized to spray it with the water in order to provoke compliance.
Description: SCP-4357-J is a red-skinned humanoid standing 3 meters tall and massing approximately 200 kilograms. It has a barbed tail, two leathery wings emerging from its shoulderblades, and two curved, sharpened horns immediately above its eyes. It is naked, but does not possess any visible primary or secondary sexual characteristics. SCP-4357-J constantly emits heat in the range of 40-50 degrees Celsius, and occasionally as high as 95 degrees when angered. It does not appear to require food or sleep and is in an almost-constant state of agitation. It frequently insults staff members' intelligence and skill, specifically citing their incompetence in containing it.
Agent ████████: Please identify your purpose here.
SCP-4357-J: Fuck you, man! You don't know me, you don't know what I am, you don't know what I can do! Hell, you don't even know how to keep me here! I mean, what are you, amateurs? You don't even have any holy water with you! How the hell are you supposed to drive me back if I decide to attack you!
Agent ████████: I see. Please wait here. Someone will return shortly.
Agent █████, a devout Catholic: Please remain at least 10 feet from me or I'll spray you.
SCP-4357-J: Dumbfuck. You think these wings are just for show? I could fly over and rip your throat out before you could pull that trigger. Shit, man, where's the goddamned summoning circle? Or the protective hexagram? You guys don't know jackshit. Hell, go get me some chalk and I'll show you myself!
Agent █████: That seems like a good idea.
Agent █████ leaves the containment chamber and returns 35 minutes later with a box of white chalk sticks. He hands the box to SCP-4357-J, who immediately proceeds to spend the next 15 minutes rapidly creating the pattern currently used for containment.
SCP-4357-J: And THAT is how you make a proper summoning circle. All the runes in place, everything nice and neat. NOW, if I step in it like this, it'll be hard for me to get out!
SCP-4357-J tries to step out of the circle and bumps against an unseen barrier.
SCP-4357-J: Oh, FUCK ME!
SCP-4357-J had, unusually for it, spent 3 hours crouched at the center of the containment ring, occasionally reaching forward to tap the barrier with its claws. At 1734 hours, it suddenly leaped straight upwards, unfurling its wings as it rose. Upon reaching the ceiling 6 meters above, it dug its claws into the concrete and crawled along it, outside the perimeter of the containment ring.
SCP-4357-J: Hah! I thought those things only went up 15 feet or so. I'm free, suck-asses!
Agents ██████ and ███ run into the room, whereupon they use spray bottles to spritz SCP-4357-J with holy water until it returns to the interior of the original containment diagram.
SCP-4357-J: Shit! That hurts, motherfuckers! Doesn't matter much, though; I'll just jump out again. It's not like you can put up a cage that'll hold me, either. I can bust through anything other than wrought-iron that has the words of Solomon on it, and where the unholy fuck are you going to find THAT nowadays, huh?
Foundation metalworkers install a wrought-iron cage under the supervision and blessing of Rabbi ███████
Rabbi ███████: Are you any more agreeable today, demon?
SCP-4357-J: Hey, I'm doing fine, pork-breath. You cocksuckers are the ones with a problem. Blood and brimstone, you fuckers couldn't even build the cage right! I've been testing it and I could rattle it apart and get free before you dickheads could even get in here with that thrice-be-damned holy water!
Rabbi ███████: But what about the words of Solomon? They command you to stay.
SCP-4357-J: Oh, for fuck's sake, Rabbi Pigfucker. You of all people should know that the Seal of Solomon is a hexagram. No star to hold me and I can run wild as soon as you motherfuckers turn your backs!
Rabbi ███████: We have plenty of chalk, demon. I wager that I can draw a Seal before you could escape.
SCP-4357-J: Rabbi, Rabbi, Rabbi. I'm actually disappointed in your stupidity. You really think that chalk is good enough to hold a Seal? Why do you think all those back-wood fuckstains talk about using salt and silver to hold back the monsters in the dark? They're remembering us, and what drives us back.
Rabbi ███████: Thank you, demon. You've been… educational, as always.
SCP-4357-J: FUCK! No, wait, forget I said that! I was, uh, lying! Yeah! That's us demons, always lying our asses off! Can't trust a word we say!
Agent ██, devout Buddhist: Hello, SCP-4357. I have a question for you today.
SCP-4357-J: Fuck off, asshole. I ain't saying nothing to you shitheads any more. You keep locking me down tighter.
Agent ██: This is actually a very simple question that has been bothering me for a while: why didn't you escape before we set up all this?
Agent ██ gestures at the then-current containment protocols. SCP-4357-J looks stricken, with its mouth hanging open, for approximately 30 seconds.
SCP-4357-J: I- I didn't- I thought tha- Oh, GOD DAMN IT!
SCP-4357-J proceeds to throw itself against the containment barriers more violently than usual for 90 hours, 17 minutes, yelling a constant stream of invective the entire time.
Note: Current containment protocols are the result of many interviews with SCP-4357-J. Further adjustments may be warranted depending on any future comments.