| Note: This investigation is the first recorded instance of a Σ-Window Shopper event. |
[BEGIN LOG]
D-1213 enters SCP-4085 and observes 4 checkout lines staffed by instances of SCP-4085-A.
D-1213: Woah! [Stumbling] What the hell are those things?
Dr. Kellogg: These beings are the known residents of SCP-4085. Do not interfere with them and proceed.
D-1213: [Exhaling] You know, if you told people what to expect beforehand these expeditions would go a whole lot smoother.
D-1213 proceeds forward and sees a basket of fruit. D-1213 picks up a piece of fruit and sees that it resembles a human face.
D-1213: [Breathing heavily] Oh my god… You guys see this right? It has a face. A human face!
Dr. Kellogg: Please place the item in your field kit and proceed forward.
D-1213 is moving forward and halts, observing a humanoid entity wearing a dog costume holding a sign advertising "Shaggy’s Dog Special Treats" and holding a platter containing cups filled with an unknown substance. This entity will be known as PoI-4590. D-1213 appears to be moving away from PoI-4590.
Dr. Kellogg: Please approach the entity and attempt to gather information from it.
D-1213: I really don't want to do that.
Dr. Kellogg: If you do n—
PoI-4590: Excuse me, good sir! Would you like to sample some of our Spectacular Shaggy Dog Special Treats?
D-1213: Um… no, I don't want any doggy treats, but I do want to know what is thi—
PoI-4590: That just won't work good sir! You must try our Spectacular Shaggy
Dog Special treats! I am sure, no I am certain you will not regret it!
D-1213: I already said no. What I really want to know is what the he—
PoI-4590: Then let me take you to a product of your liking for you to purchase in our fine establishment!
D-1213: What? No, I'm not buying anything from this creepy place, all I want is-
PoI-4590: [In a lower tone and volume than before] Nay. Dammit, and I thought customers were coming back. Well orange man, you better buy something real soon, unless you want to end up like that.
PoI-4590 is pointing to a bag of chips.
PoI-4590: And, tell your friends outside to leave the area please. I make fewer things for you people to deal with, but we can't do that if you keep scaring off my customers.
Dr. Kellogg: Ask him why do their products resemble human body parts.
D-1213: Um.. . Why do your products look like human faces and humans body parts? I mean, just in case I do buy something!
PoI-4590: [Returning In higher tone and volume] We make our fine products by infusing and capturing the finest of lost human souls! The souls that can't move on, the souls that are bound by grief, rage, or vengeance! By using them, I not only put them out their misery, but I make the world cleaner! Less ghost for you people, and profits for me, a win-win see! Now, please select one of our spectacular products and take them to checkout line so one of the helpers can assist you!
D-1213: But, I don't have any money.
There is silence for 5 seconds.
PoI-4590: [In lower tone and volume again] Well orange man, please excuse me. I don't really like viewing this part.
PoI-4590 is seen escaping into an alleyway. D-1213 gives chase, but sees no signs of PoI-4590.
D-1213: He's gone! He's fucking gone! What the hell!
D-1213 turns around and sees four instances of SCP-4085-A that have their mouths open.
D-1213: Sick fucking hell!
D-1213 runs to the exit but is unable to open it. He begins banging on the door and shouting.
D-1213: Hey! Get me out of here now. I did what you want and I don't think these things are trying to help me anymore!
Dr. Kellogg: Please stay calm, we are trying to extract you at this very moment. May you please describe what the entities are doing right now?
Several instances of SCP-4085-A are approaching and beginning to surround D-1213.
D-1213: [Breathing heavily] More of them are coming! And they're just standing there. This is so fucking creep-
An instance of SCP-4085-A lunges forward and bites D-1213's left ankle.
D-1213: Ow! Fuck! Get off, get off!
Video and audio feed at this point was malfunctioning and what was happening to D-1213 could not be determined.
Dr. Kellogg: Stay calm, we are doing our best. Can you please des-
Flames can be seen around D-1213.
D-1213: [Screaming] Help! Help! Hel—
All exterior windows of SCP-4085 became opaque, rendering the team unable to see inside the building. All video and audio feeds were lost. D-1213's field bag was not recovered.
[END LOG]
Foreword: Thirty hours after the disappearance of D-1213, D-1789 and D-303 were sent into SCP-4085 to investigate. D-303 was given 50 USD dollars to purchase items inside SCP-4085 and was instructed to observed D-1789. D-1789 was instructed to try to obtain items inside SCP-4085 without purchasing.
[BEGIN LOG]
D-1789 and D-303 both enter SCP-4085 and observes five checkout lines staffed by instances of SCP-4085-A.
D-1789: What the fuck? I didn't think they were serious. This i—
D-303: Stop your crying. Damn, d-rags. It's real! Now, get your job done and you might survive till taco Tuesday.
D-1789: How are you not freaked about this!?
D-303: Have you seen a statue snap someone's neck before?
D-1789: A what!?
D-303: Yah, didn't think so, live long enough and you'll see. Now let's go. This place gives me bad vibes.
D-303 and D-1783 proceed forward. D-303 halts and picks up two bags of chips and proceeds to the checkout line.
D-303: [Laughter] These are some expensive chips. 45$ for 2 bags, you got to be kidding.
D-1789: And that's what you're surprised about?
D-303 purchase items and begins to follow D-1789. D-1789 goes to the meat section of SCP-4085.
D-1789: So what do you guys want me to get.
Dr. Kellogg: Acquire meat products that are grounded and the ones that look like arms, and 2 brands of cookies, please.
D-1789: Okay, you got it. And why are you following me man, you okay up there?
D-303: Mind your business, and keep going. I got my job and you got yours.
D-1789: Of all the people you assign me with, why him.
Dr. Kellogg: That is none o-
D-1789: That wasn't a question.
D-303: I can say the same thing for you too, d-rag!
D-1789 proceeds to acquire all the items requested without incident and-
D-1789: [Whispering] I don't want to do this. I mean what if those things come after me, what then.
Dr. Kellogg: If you do not, you will be severely punished.
D-1789: Are you stupid or something, I might die here, asshole. Hey! Hey, you there!
D-303: No use in arguing, they don't care and look on the bright side if you do die you won't have to be doing this anymore.
D-1789: Fuck it.
D-1789 is observed to be stretching and gets into a running position.
D-303: Finally.
D-1789 is running towards the exit with D-303 running behind him.
D-1789 gets to the exit, but is unable to open it.
D-1789: Open, open open open! Get me out!
Dr. Kellogg: Stay calm. We are doing our best to extract you.
D-303: Weird nothing is happe—. Holy shit!
Several instances of SCP-4085-A are climbing on the roof and jumping on the shelves. Instances of SCP-4085-A are observed to be going towards D-1789.
At this point, exterior windows of SCP-4085 became opaque rendering the team unable to see inside the building.
D-1789: Getaway, get off—
Flames can be seen on the ground around D-1789 before all audio and video feed was lost.
D-303: Bu—Bu—wha—.
D-1789 can be seen being pulled into an aperture by instances of SCP-4085-A. After this D-303 audio and video feed was lost.
Ten minutes after all connections were lost from D-1789 and D-303, D-303 walked out of SCP-4085 unharmed. D-1789 and his field kit was not recovered.
[END LOG]
Interviewer: Dr. Lenatoid
Interviewee: D-303
Foreword: Was conducted shortly after the retrieval of D-303.
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Lenatoid: Can you please elaborate on what happened to you and D-1789.
D-303: The gates of hell opened, that's what happened.
Dr. Lenatoid: I will not repeat myself again, please elaborate on the specifics D-303.
D-303: I did what you people told me to, I bought the chips, and followed the kid! Didn't you see what happened on the camera? Damn.
D-303: I told you already. He tried to open a door, but it wouldn't budge. Then all those employees came after him. They were holding him with their fucking teeth. And out of nowhere, a hole opened in the fucking floor and I heard laughter. The laugh of the damn devil. Ha!
Dr. Lenatoid: No more jokes, D-303.
D-303: Fine, fine. Ok, I didn't hear a laugh, but he did get pulled down there. I didn't get a closer look, because you know, I didn't want to be next. Then after they pull him down there, the hole started to close. Then things went back to work, I guess. [Laughter] Like nothing ever happened.
Dr. Lenatoid: Is that all. Didn't see any other figures than the employees.
D-303: No, the only thing that happened after that is that I couldn't open the door for a little while.
Dr. Lenatoid: I see. Thank you for your time, you can go now.
D-303: I'll be getting my extra taco, right?
Dr. Lenatoid: I'll see what I can do.
[END LOG]
Foreword: Twenty-seven hours after the disappearance of D-1789, D-303 was given 400 USD dollars to purchase items inside SCP-4085.
[BEGIN LOG]
D-303 enters SCP-4085 and observes five empty checkout lines. The shelves are empty.
D-303: Nothing's here, all the stuff is gone!
Dr. Kellogg: Please proceed forward to see if there is anything.
D-303 proceeds forward and observes instances of SCP-4085-A stacking boxes onto carts. A voice matching PoI-4590 can be heard in the distance.
Dr. Kellogg: Please find the source of the voice.
D-303: What do you think I'm doing!
D-303 proceeds forward and halts, observing a blue skin human that appears to be dressed in formal attire and is observed talking on a cellular device.
D-303: Um… Hello?
PoI-4590: Yah can you send someone to pick me up. I'm moving to my other stores. The Foundation got me.
PoI-4590: [Pause] Nay! What do you mean it's going to cost me, you prick do you know how many times I help you out in the past?
PoI-4590: [Pause] You leech! What do you mean I don't do favors?
PoI-4590: [Pause] Oh okay, want to be like that, fine!
PoI-4590 hangs up the cellular device.
PoI-4590: Deceiving piece of [Mummering].
D-303: Hello again.
PoI-4590: Nay. Oh, it's you, people, again. Well, you can't send anyone else here to die anymore, lucky you. I'm leaving.
PoI-4590 spontaneously appears in front of D-303.
PoI-4590: Tell your people find someone else to screw with.
PoI-4590 proceeds forward to an instance of SCP-4085-A that is picking up a box.
PoI-4590: Nay. More carefully, okay reject. Money doesn't grow on trees in this region.
Dr. Kellogg: Try to obtain information from him.
D-303: Right, right. Wait, I got some questions for you can you answer some of them.
PoI-4590: Nay. I guess ok s-
Celluar device is ringing and PoI-4590 begins talking on it.
PoI-4590: Excuse me.
PoI-4590: [Pause] Hello, who is this? Nay. This is Hawkin Zion Perem, the 750th son of the House of Perem speaking.
PoI-4590: [Pause] Quarry, is that you. Listen I'm not going in your joining your fan club of Zecharia or cabal as you call it- [Exhales] Listen, Quarry, please don't call this number if isnt about no commas.
PoI-4590: [Pause] I don’t care if you're promoted to captain, or have 500 fake stars. Its time for you to sleep. Go to bed! Goodbye.
Hangs up the cellular device and proceeds forward to D-303.
PoI-4590: Family, am I right, well ask your questions I got time.
D-303: Um.. what are those things.
D-303 is pointing at an instance of SCP-4085-A.
PoI-4590: Nay. Leftover souls combined with fish meat. When trying to make workers just get human corpses. Or, you might get these useless rejects!
D-303: Where did you get souls?
PoI-4590: What do you mean? Ghost, spectators, and phantoms are everywhere. Have you every been to graveyard?
D-303: So what about the huge ho-
PoI-4590: [Interrupted] Oh look at that, the rejects are done. Sorry, but I will be taking leave, come, don't worry you won't die.
PoI-4590 proceeds forward to a crowd of SCP-4085-A and boxes.
PoI-4590: Okay rejects, you served your purpose. Time to go, [UNINTELLIGIBLE].
Instances of SCP-4085-A and boxes dematerialize.
D-303: [Under his breath] What the fuck.
PoI-4590 and D-303 exit SCP-4085.
PoI-4590: What a beautiful day this is. Brings back som-
PoI-4590 and D-303 were both subdued. PoI-4590 was later brought into questioning.
| Note: After this incident, some form of the Σ-Window Shopper event began and the exterior walls of SCP-4085 were deteriorating at an accelerated rate. |
[END LOG]
Interviewer: Dr. Lenatoid
Interviewee: PoI-4590
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Lenatoid: You can refer to me as Dr. Lenatoid. What would you like me to call you?
PoI-4590: Foundation, right?
Dr. Lenatoid: Excuse me?
PoI-4590: What, am I speaking a different language? This is the Foundation or some iteration of it, right?
Dr. Lenatoid: Yes, I represent the Foundation. How do you know of us?
PoI-4590: Really, is that a legit question. Everyone knows to the underground, to the library, to the streets of Manhattan. Also, call me Hawk.
Dr. Lenatoid: [Writing notes] Very interesting. So, Hawk, what exactly is the purpose of your store?
PoI-4590: To sell food? I mean, it was a huge success. The souls got them hooked like they were on drugs until people started coming in. I should have put a perception field over it. So, the people started coming in, not buying anything and shooting at the employees. So they got converted into merchandise. Really should have put that perception field over it, but you live and learn.
Dr. Lenatoid: Is that what happened to the people who went in there in the past few days.
PoI-4590: Yes, that's what happened to your little tools. They all got converted. Not my fault, that's just how the store function
Dr. Lenatoid: But, Hawk I thought you own it.
PoI-4590: Nay. I do, but it's not like a regular store. It turns incorporeal beings into corporeal ones. So there has to be rules to have something like that exist in this world. If I didn't follow them, then the store will crumble. That's how you cater to demons. An annoying group with annoying rules, but they pay good money. I'll give them that, yeah I'll give them that.
Dr. Lenatoid: About that. What are the employees?
PoI-4590: The rejects? Fish meat, human nails, and a dog whistle combine together.
Dr. Lenatoid: Okay… Are you human?
PoI-4590: A' course I am. I mean the blue skin might say otherwise, but that has something do with iron. I think. I'm pretty sure about that.
Dr. Lenatoid: But.. um. How were you able to make your employees and boxes disappear?
PoI-4590: Magic and… a little pizazz.
Dr. Lenatoid: [Writing notes] Magic…okay. Who were you talking to on your device?
PoI-4590:Nay, glad you ask it was none of your damn business!
Dr. Lenatoid: Well Hawk can you please tell us some useful information that you can let go of?
PoI-4590: Sure thing, [Snaps fingers.].
The room is filled with reptilian quadrupedal creatures with wings for 10 seconds. During this, Dr. Lenatoid ran outside the interview room.
PoI-4590: [Laughter] I love that, never gets old.
[END LOG]
Interviewer: Dr. Kellogg
Interviewed: PoI-4590
Foreword: This interview was conducted by Dr. Kellogg after Dr. Lenatoid expressed great concern over her safety. PoI-4590 was ordered not to display any anomalous abilities unless asked.
[BEGIN LOG]
Dr. Kellogg: You can call me Dr. Kellogg, Hawk. Also, may I ask what you did in the last interview with Dr. Lenatoid?
PoI-4590: Nay. Oh, that with the little dragons, that was just an illusion. [Chuckles]
Dr. Kellogg: That was your magic you spoke of, hm. So where are the rest of your family that you spoke earlier of? Do they also share the same abilities?
PoI-4590: You want to know where they are at. Can't help you with that, but I could give you information on how to track them. Lets cut a deal. So, a couple of pills you call SCP 500 for betraying my family seems like a fair trade.
Dr. Kellogg: Wai—Wha—No, how did you get information about that?!
PoI-4590: Nay. The same thing I'm doing right now. I don't do violence, I do business. And if you have something somebody wants, you can get a lot more from destroying their cities then asking for what you want later. Trust me, that's from experience.
Dr. Kellogg: [Aggressively writing in notes] So how much do you know?
PoI-4590: Nay. If I told you all of it, we would be here for an hour and I don't have that much time left. Also, your superiors will probably kill you or something.
Dr. Kellogg: [Sweating] You're lying! Say it.
PoI-4590: Nay. Okay, you only have yourself to blame. Ever heard of SCP 00—?
Dr. Kellogg: [Interrupted] Stop! We're done, [Exhaling] we're done.
[END LOG]
Closing Statement: I don't know if this thing is telling the truth or [EXPLETIVE]. But, I advise transferring it to a more secure site, possibly Site-100 or Site-45. We don't know if it is magic, voodoo, or mind tricks, but the fact is, it knows too much. -Dr. Kellogg.
