SCP-3644
rating: +20+x
Fiji.jpg

Researcher Kurland and Researcher Louis sitting in SCP-3644

Item #: SCP-3644

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: Info taken from interviews with the general manager of SCP-3644 indicates little oversight from GoI-4889, therefore SCP-3644's beneficial properties mean that it is suitable as an approved vacation destination for Foundation personnel Levels 2-4. The effects of SCP-3644-2 means that personnel should not stay longer than five days to avoid overexposure, and any personnel with access to classified information is to undergo a small amnestic regimen, and be briefed on their duties upon return. The general manager of SCP-3644 has agreed to restrict bookings to Foundation employees only.

All SCP-3644-1 instances may not leave the grounds of SCP-3644 due to their condition, but are allowed to stay at their homes within the grounds. With the help of the general manager, the SCP-3643 containment team, now the primary team assigned to GoI-4889, has built a Foundation operated store that provides amenities to the SCP-3644-1 instances so that they may be better served in their operation of SCP-3644.

Description: SCP-3644 is the Fish Face Village eco-resort located in Savusavu, Fiji. It is wholly owned by GoI-4889 ("Kephart Corporation"), an unknown corporate entity of uncertain goals currently on negative terms with the Foundation. SCP-3644 contains fourteen guest huts that can support up to a five person family, as well as a pool complex, restaurant, bar, gift shop, organic garden, children's play area, sports field, dock, boats, and PADI certified SCUBA diving shop. The resort also owns quarters for the resort staff, three expensive "villas" for guests, a half mile of beach, and a small private island just off the coast.

The main anomaly of SCP-3644 can be divided into two main components, SCP-3644-1 and SCP-3644-2.

SCP-3644-1 designates the staff of SCP-3644. They are genetically human, with characteristics of Native Fijian, Fijian Indian, and Australian descent. However, all SCP-3644-1 instances have the head of a parrotfish of a different species. Genera observed across instances include Cetoscarus, Calotomus and Bolbometopon species. SCP-3644-1 species have no difficulty talking, eating, or behaving normally despite their anomaly, and are employed in a wide variety of jobs throughout SCP-3644, from janitor to DJ to marine biologist.

SCP-3644-2 designates a spray released by automated electronic air freshener releasers located throughout the resort. These releasers are currently indestructible and cannot be opened without a specific keycard, which is not located on resort grounds. Due to the difficulty in analyzing SCP-3644-2's liquid form, its chemical makeup is not yet fully understood. However, air samples taken directly after release indicate a mixture of human neurotransmitters, insect pheromones, and at least one unknown chemical, along with standard commercial air freshener and bug spray.

This spray has two effects. Firstly, it induces feelings of inhibition and relaxation in human beings, who often feel compelled to state what is on their minds while affected. Secondly, it acts as a kind of deterrent to SCP-3644-1 instances, discouraging them to speak out against working conditions at SCP-3644. In addition, while affected, humans do not find the appearance of SCP-3644-1 instances unusual and instances do not mention it. There are no long term physical effects of exposure, however the constant inhibition dampening may have direct social consequences following exit from SCP-3644.

ADDENDUM: CLASSIFIED 3/GOI-4889:

Interview between GoI-4889 Project Heads (Researchers Sadie Louis and Davey Kurland) and SCP-3644-1 instance "Peter Griffith," Australian general manager of SCP-3644 with the head of a humphead parrotfish.

<Begin Log>:

Kurland: Thank you for sitting down with us, Mr. Griffith.

Griffith: It's no problem, Researchers.

Kurland: So. To start with I'll ask the obvious question. Are you aware of your anomalous condition? That you have a fish-head?

Louis: Davey, for God's sake! If we ask about Kephart then we'll figure that out naturally. Also, that's really rude and somewhat unprofessional! We've prepared a series of questions.

Griffith: No, no, it's totally fine. It's probably not his fault. It's the spray, you see. I can turn it down to the minimum level, but I'm afraid it will be a little hard to hold your tongue here. I'm surprised you even commented on it at all. Most guests just sort of slide on over…the…condition.

Louis: You don't like to talk about it?

Griffith: The spray makes my mouth sting if I think about it, but that's why it's at minimum.

Louis: And you can't turn it off?

Griffith: Only the employee from Kephart can do that. And to be honest, we haven't gotten a phone call or email from them in the four years we've been open.

Kurland: Kephart doesn't contact? That's surprising and also not surprising.

Griffith: Yes, I think they've forgotten about this side venture. Imagine bringing a whole class of people into being and then just dumping them here in this sort of truth-serumed out paradise. I remember the Kephart employee who set this up said this was a failure anyway, a bit of failed corporate espionage anyway, like they grabbed the wrong plan. And now I think I can speak for my staff that the fact they brought us into being arbitrarily makes us mad. This is a hellish existence, Researchers. Every day I wonder why? Why parrotfish?

Kurland: Why the Zodiac Killer?

Griffith: Pardon?

Kurland: Oh nothing, I just sort of let something classified slip against my will because thanks Kephart. These guys also make us mad.

Louis: Davey, really just try to hold your tongue. Okay?

Kurland: Sadie, you should also just try to hold your tongue, considering I don't like to have it firing off before we kiss, okay? Kinda ruins the moment. I didn–

Louis: That's…really not relevant right now.

Griffith: You two in a relationship? This a bad time? I'm terribly sorry I can't turn the spray down.

Louis: No really, it's fine. We've been feeling some attraction since we started spending day in and day out together researching a company that doesn't exist. But it's not like we're a couple or anything.

Griffith: I see.

Kurland: This spray is not helping.

Louis: As we're all blurting out whatever's on our minds, I'd like to know if you and your staff get into relationships.

Griffith: I mean, sure. Kephart made us human enough. But sometimes that's just a pain in my ass.

Kurland: What do you mean?

Griffith: Well, a relationship is like the last thing on my mind these days. I don't my own food.

Kurland: But you have fishing trips and a garden and imported stuff from the town–

Griffith: All for our guests. We have a few huts we share but we basically have to just scrounge. It's not like we can go out.

Kurland: You weren't provided with your own food?

(Griffith nods no.)

Kurland: …fuck!

Louis: What's stopping you from just using the guest food?

(Griffith points to the nearest SCP-3644-2 instance, nailed into the walls of the room.)

Louis: Ah, right.

Kurland: Jesus Christ, these bastards.

Louis: The more I find out about these guys' products, the more I can conclude that–

Kurland: –They are in fact, literally the biggest jerks of a company we've dealt with. Throwing away a slave race, good lord. At least the Factory is horrifying in an alien way. Jesus fuck that makes my blood boil.

Louis: Mr. Griffith, we'll get some people down who can set up a village shop with some groceries and stuff. I mean, we can't let you leave.

Griffith: And we're conditioned to not leave.

Louis: But Kurland and I can make sure the Foundation gets you a decent containment situation. Recommend some of our people stay as guests to make sure you keep doing stuff.

Griffith: That sounds wonderful. Now, pardon me If I want to stop. Even discussing this in a roundabout way gives me a headache. And you two look like you need to relax anyway.

Louis: Sure.

Kurland: That sounds nice. My blood pressure is through the roof. And the sooner I just relax and make out with you, Sadie, and surrender to this aerosol truth serum the happier I'll be.

Louis: Same, but of course it's designed this way.

Kurland: (sighs) So much for paradise.

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