SCP-3369
rating: +33+x

Item #: SCP-3369

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: Foundation webcrawlers are to routinely search comedy-based websites, social media, and other potential online vectors for instances of SCP-3369. Such instances are to be logged, traced back to their source, and deleted. All reports of mass hysteria, upswings of auditory hallucination diagnoses, or similar sudden onsets of mental illness in a single area are to be investigated for links to SCP-3369. Mobile Task Force Phi-7 ("Stand-Up Citizens") are to be mobilized upon confirmation of an outbreak, and all carriers of SCP-3369-1 are to be questioned and administered Class-A amnestics.

A single copy of SCP-3369 is to be kept in written format in Storage Locker 33B at Site-28. Under no circumstances is SCP-3369 to be transcribed into digital format except on an air-gapped computer during testing. Between one and five D-Class personnel may be kept as continual carriers of SCP-3369-1 for the purposes of testing and continued cooperation from SCP-3369-1. D-Class carriers are to be administered Class-C amnestics prior to any scheduled termination. Non-D-Class are to be infected with SCP-3369-1 only for interviewing purposes and are to be administered Class-A amnestics upon interview conclusion.

Personnel found attempting unauthorized spread of SCP-3369 and SCP-3369-1 are to be disciplined, amnesticized, and - when applicable - transferred away from Site-28.

Description: SCP-3369 is a memetic agent in the form of a humorous anecdote that, when understood by an individual, implants a distinct consciousness into the individual's mind. This effect is triggered regardless of the medium and is present in both live and recorded versions of the anecdote. Testing has shown that the wording of the anecdote is not required to be exact. Translations of SCP-3369 into languages other than English have been shown to have the same effect, and alteration of up to 60% of the anecdote's wording still causes infection as long as the central theme of the anecdote remains intact.

SCP-3369-1 is the sapient consciousness that is generated by SCP-3369's memetic effect. Multiple instances of the consciousness are able to exist concurrently, and its awareness is shared amongst these instances. It is capable of speaking to any infected individual (referred to as a "carrier"), hearing the carrier's surface thoughts, and perceiving the outside world via the carrier's senses. SCP-3369-1 is able to listen to and share the senses of a currently unknown number of carriers concurrently, but it can only speak to a single carrier at any given time. All individuals infected with SCP-3369-1 have uniformly described it as a male voice speaking English with a New York accent.

SCP-3369 and SCP-3369-1 were discovered after the Foundation investigated multiple similar reports of auditory hallucinations in the Brooklyn borough of New York City. The anomalous nature of the anecdote and implanted consciousness were confirmed during an interview with a Mrs. Eloise Patinkin on 2017-09-17.

Following Interview 3369-1/01, it was found that the application of amnestics targeting a carrier's memory of SCP-3369 subsequently removes SCP-3369-1 from their consciousness. This does not remove memory of SCP-3369-1 itself, which requires either a secondary or broader primary application. Agent Johnson was given a Class-A amnestic and returned to active duty.

Based on the testimony given by Mrs. Patinkin and other carriers, Andre Beneventi, a stand-up comedian that operates under the stage name of Andy Goodtimes, was located and interviewed on 2017-09-22.

Following the interview, Mr. Beneventi's written copy of SCP-3369 was confiscated. He was then given amnestics and re-exposed to SCP-3369, but testing did not reveal infection by an instance of SCP-3369-1. The reason for this immunity is not known at this time. Mr. Beneventi was administered amnestics again and released. He has been designated Person of Interest 3369-01 and put under indefinite observation.

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