rating: +15+x

Item #: SCP-3136-J

Object Class: Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3136-J is to be kept in permanent bed-rest in Site-3005. No less than three medical personnel are to remain on-site exclusively for the care and safety of SCP-3136-J. SCP-3136-J's chambers should not be entered until Event 'Bump in the Night' has concluded, at which time it is to receive medical attention. The room containing SCP-3136-J is to be furnished with a television, a bed, and a CPAP unit. SCP-3136-J is allowed to make reasonable requests to ensure its compliance with Foundation requests.

Description: SCP-3136-J is an elderly Caucasian male, aged 81. It suffers from sleep apnea, and has some side effects from frequent concussions, including frequent fatigue, memory loss and confusion, among other symptoms. SCP-3136-J's anomalous effects manifest when three conditions are met:

  1. SCP-3136-J begins snoring
  2. SCP-3136-J is on what it considers to be a "bed"
  3. The sky above SCP-3136-J is raining1

The event that begins upon meeting these three conditions is known as Event 'Bump in the Night'. During this event, SCP-3136-J will be moved out of its bed by an unknown force. Regardless of any outside influence, SCP-3136-J will end up on the floor with mild head injuries by the end of Event 'Bump in the Night'.

Addendum 3136-J.1: SCP-3136-J Testing Logs

Test: Putting five (5) memory foam pillows next to where SCP-3136-J's head would fall.

Approval: Approved.

Notes: All five pillows moved out of the way of SCP-3136-J.

Test: Putting a second, slightly lower bed next to the first bed.

Approval: Approved.

Notes: SCP-3136-J moved into the second bed and promptly fell out of that one as well.

Seriously? Who thought this would work? -Dr. Aleksandr

Test: Placing SCP-3136-J in a 1.7m x .6m room on a 1.65m x .55m bed.

Approval: Approved.

Notes: The bed gained a speed of approximately 650 km/h and broke through the one-way glass, causing the death of two researchers. SCP-3136-J was pushed out of bed in this room.

Test: Placing SCP-3136-J on the floor.

Approval: Approved.

Notes: Event 'Bump in the Night' did not manifest.

As it turns out, SCP-3136-J was being a bit more literal than we thought when it said it falls out when it "gets into bed". -Dr. Aleksandr

Test: Surrounding just the bed of SCP-3136-J with titanium walls.

Approval: Approved.

Notes: Entire bed and wall combination flipped upside down, causing SCP-3136-J to fall on its head.

I mean… I guess? -Dr. Aleksandr

Test: SCP-3136-J is taped to a bed with 6 whole rolls of industrial grade duct tape.

Approval: Approved.

Notes: Bed flips upside down onto SCP-3136-J's head.

You should have enough funding, could you procure a medical bed next time? -Dr. Aleksandr

Test: SCP-3136-J is placed next to large fans which can lift a fully grown person.

Approval: Approved.

Notes: SCP-3136-J is forcibly angled vertically, causing it to fall slowly to the ground, hitting it's head.

…was this what you dumped all your funding into? Next time just request more funding. -Dr. Aleksandr

We are formally requesting $1,000,000 USD to further study SCP-3136-J. -Head Researcher Welch

You get $200,000 more, which I am going to use my authority as Site-3005 Director to revoke if I see any more worthless tests. -Dr. Aleksandr

Test: Allowing SCP-3136-J to fall on the passenger seat of a lime-green Lamborghini Aventador.

Approval: Denied.

Notes: That's it, funding revoked. Dr. Welch, I am placing you on probation for misuse of Foundation funds. -Dr. Aleksandr

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