Special Containment Procedures:3
Using the MS-2342 approach, data regarding SCP-2342 should appear to humans, viewers with human-style neural structures, or minds otherwise susceptible to human-targeted memetics, as Database Standard Encoding footnotes.
Addendum: After Incident GSL-2342-7, support tickets for this page cannot be entered into the system.
Ongoing suppression on the nature of SCP-2342 is to be maintained by Mobile Task Force Gamma-5 ("Red Herrings"), with a two-pronged strategy of portraying it as a "parody religion", while simultaneously suppressing publication of the Summa Universalia and SCP-2342-2.
Core beliefs of SCP-2342-1 include a reverence of disorder, worship of informationally dense datasets, and attempting to be on "conjugal terms" with all known deities.
SCP-2342-2 identifies the Broken God variably as Aneris or Harmonia, portraying it to be an avatar representing the order in the universe. This is in opposition to Discordianism's primary deity, Eris (or Discordia), an avatar representing the disorder within the universe.
SCP-2342-3 instances can discern certain facts about humans who are currently viewing their works. Specifically, they can determine a viewer's name at birth, common name, birth date, home address, occupation, religion, blood type, insurance details, annual income, and their mother's maiden name. They remain aware of this information after the observer ceases viewing their work, though their knowledge does not remain up-to-date; SCP-2342-3 instances are not made aware of if viewers later change their address or other details.
The current MS-2342 standard embeds data on multiple levels, obfuscating the information from all known SCP-2342-3 instances.
Five Fresh Bits On Fives
Hi-five, historically, was "high Five". Veneration and all that, as well as the drug thing. Five was good, on high, and whole, and holy, etc. This was obvious to Fifthists; their reverence, though, was misplaced. Eris took a peek over her fence, and lo, she spoke aloud: "Hey! That's my number, guys!" But the Fifthists didn't hear, and Five Eyes pointed and laughed.
So Eris grabbed a few, threw 'em into France, slapped them over the head and said "I hope you're paying attention." Whereupon she dictated the better part of this book over the course of a hazy night. When we woke from the drug comas, she'd already nicked off, leaving a few hundred bound pages sitting in the middle of the table. On it, the following words: "The Other Principia, Since The First One Didn't Work (Or How The West Was In A Lost And Found Box The Whole Time)".
We had a look inside and saw some odd parts. Eris was a bit drunk, see, and we were a lot drunk. At some time she ran off and grabbed some other folks and invited them to the party too, so the words weren't all hers. Some were from Nike, her long-time drinking partner; there were bits from Old Mared too, though mostly words scribbled in the margins. A few parts about a Broken guy. Jessie, who we all remembered quite well, had stuck in a few words too.
Finally, Eris herself had written a note on the back, then signed it. "What's in this book is 100% true. Make sure you get me really popular this time around - don't worry, you'll be able to tell." So that's the plan.
Wholly Chao and Holy Cow! Fives on fives on fives! And Fnord 'n' Fnord again. Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!