Item #: SCP-1622
Object Class: Malkuth (Simple/Low) Gevurah (Dangerous/High) Pending
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1622 is to be contained in a standard biological containment unit located in Site-77. Personnel observing SCP-1622 are to note its rate of consumption and any other notable or unusual behavior.
Description: SCP-1622 is a specimen of Citrus × sinensis (sweet orange), originating from Lakeland, FL. It is a navel orange, with a small protrusion at one of its ends. SCP-1622 appears to continuously consume its own body through its non-navel apex, while the other end produces new matter. It will consume itself in small, irregular amounts, and not in a continuous motion.
Addendum-01: File 1622-01 — Staff Comments
Malkuth? What is a Malkuth? That isn't an object class used by the Foundation. This is clearly a Safe class object, so I recommend you either use that or remove this unfinished document before the filing system implodes. Drop the (Simple/Low) bit, too. I don't even know what that's supposed to mean. You've clearly put minimal amount of work into this document, and I expect more from this team. — Director Gillespie
"Malkuth" is shorthand indicating a Simple/Low class object. "Simple" refers to the containment difficulty. "Low" refers to the threat level. The document is complete as-is. —Researcher Milton
Again, that's not an object classification system being used by the Foundation. What exactly do you hope to accomplish by adding an incomplete and incomprehensible document to our database? — Director Gillespie
I have submitted a report on the possible use of an alternate object class system to the desk of my head researcher. After receiving no response, I have resubmitted this report with minimal changes. I have done so on six occasions, from 1999-1-8 to 1999-8-9. I have interpreted the continued non-involvement as implicit permission to begin implementing this system. —Researcher Milton
For the record, the reason I failed to respond to his requests was that I didn't feel it was worth responding to. It's not really something you would take seriously, because this thing is ridiculous. Malkuth is a made-up word, and the extra bits at the end aren't comprehensible.
If you check your records, I had recommended that he be psychologically evaluated after the third submission, a request which I do not believe was followed up on, as of this date. — Researcher Hutchins
This documentation is much clearer than our current system, and I already have prepared briefings for the research team. We should be able to bring everyone up to date in a few days. — Researcher Milton
Addendum-02: Incident 1622-A
On ██/██/2███, Researcher Franklin accidentally introduced foreign matter to SCP-1622's cavity in the form of a wooden pencil, resulting in the mass being added to SCP-1622's repeated cycle, which warrants additional containment procedures and amendments to the SCP-1622 containment doctrine. This request is submitted for approval.
File 1622-05 — Staff Comments
This would never have happened if you hadn't been keeping this document up in the air, Milton. You need to remove it immediately from our system, or you are being removed from this project. As it is, we have a lot to add to containment because of this. — Researcher Hutchins
Staff hadn't been given the updates yet. I've distributed them to everybody, we should be fine now. — Researcher Milton
That's not an acceptable response, this needs to be removed and updated immediately. You'd made that before we had this incident, does it deal with new containment? You're just pushing your own screwed-up and incredibly terse document for… what? What do you actually hope to accomplish here, besides being removed from this position? — Researcher Hutchins
Addendum-03: Incident 1622-B
Due to the lack of additional funding or clearance to amend the containment doctrine, several researchers attempted to forcefully extract the foreign matter from SCP-1622. This caused injuries to two of the researchers, with one set of injuries being serious enough to warrant medical leave, and minor damage to the containment area. Disciplinary action is currently under consideration.
File 1622-09 — Staff Comments
You see? It wasn't enough, and now there's more damage to the containment area! What's going to be enough to prove that your little containment pipe dream needs to be kept in your head and out of the computers? — Researcher Hutchins
The reason there was an incident was because the team was using the old containment protocols you distributed on the new system. I'm confident that in time, we will be able to bring everyone to the same page. — Researcher Milton
Addendum-04: Incident 1622-C
On ██/██/2███, Researcher Hutchins attempted to forcefully enter the SCP-1622 research area, and was subdued by security personnel. Proper forms for disciplinary action have been forwarded to the director by project lead Researcher Milton. It is believed that Hutchins was attempting to alter the containment doctrines regarding SCP-1622, which Researcher Milton had already explained to be sufficient.
File 1622-13 — Staff Comments
What is this? I thought you took care of this, Hutchins. Why has nobody been using the normal protocols for discipline? This would've been solved ages ago, if you'd just come to me instead of getting in a pissing contest. Christ, both of you, you're better than this, this is beneath you. I need this to be immediately resolved, before anything else happens. — Director Gillespie
I'm sorry Director, but the situation is now under control. Everyone on staff has been given updates to the containment protocols, so there should be no more problems. Again, my apologies, this will not happen again. — Researcher Milton
Addendum-05: Incident 1622-E
On ██/██/2███, when the research team enacted a second attempt to remove the foreign matter from SCP-1622 resulted in SCP-1622 manifesting additional anomalous effects. It began to add large portions of the containment area and research staff to its cycle, and directly causing the breaching of ██ separately contained E-Class objects and 4 SCP objects. Security teams were able to contain the event, but SCP-1622 requires massive update to containment. Upgrade to Keter Gevurah(Dangerous/High) is currently pending.
File 1622-22 Staff Comment
Apparently not all my staff had received the necessary documentation. This will be rectified as soon as I update things. — Researcher Milton
Addendum-06: File 1622-31 — Status Report
Researchers Milton and Hutchins have been placed on indefinite leave, pending severe disciplinary action. Committees have been formed to study the issues these incidents present to the current structure of Site-77's chain of command, research database, containment areas, and the psychological status of prominent researchers. Containment doctrines of SCP-1622 have been slated for complete revision.