The following is an interview of SCP-039-A conducted by Researcher Lee Roy Carlson. It communicated its answers by typing on a computer.
<begin log>
Researcher Carlson: Good morning, SCP-039-A.
[SCP-039-A waves at Researcher Carlson.]
Researcher Carlson: I'm Researcher Lee Roy Carlson.
[SCP-039-A offers Researcher Carlson a handshake, which he accepts.]
Researcher Carlson: I'd like to ask you a few questions about what happened at the Prometheus Labs facility.
[SCP-039-A nods.]
Researcher Carlson: First, how do you know Wehrner Gillespie?
SCP-039-A: [shrugs] He picked me up in Reno, pulled up beside me on the street in a red van, asked me if I wanted to become human. I asked him what the Hell he was talking about, and he told me there were some guys out in the desert somewhere who could fix me, make it so I never needed food or water ever again, make me smarter, too. Sounded too good to be true, like you said, but I figured I didn't have much to lose. Besides, he had drugs. So I got in that creepy-ass van with him and he took me out to that place in the desert.
Researcher Carlson: Do you know anything else about him?
[SCP-039-A shakes its head.]
SCP-039-A: We didn't exactly have a heart-to-heart.
Researcher Carlson: Did he say why he was interested in this project?
SCP-039-A: Nope. Just said he was helping those guys at the lab find test subjects.
Researcher Carlson: I see. Is there anything else you know about him?
SCP-039-A: He said he was an actor. Oh, and the van had Florida plates.
Researcher Carlson: Have you had any contact with Gillespie since he brought you to the facility?
SCP-039-A: Nope.
Researcher Carlson: Are you sure? There seemed to be some objects missing from the laboratory. And two chipmanzees.
SCP-039-A: I'm sure. The chimps left on their own, after they killed those guys. Figured out how to open a door, ran off into the desert. Probably died out there, since they still needed food and water.
Researcher Carlson: Then why didn't you leave the facility?
SCP-039-A: Hey, just because I don't need water doesn't mean I can't have a heatstroke. Didn't need to worry about finding food or anything, so I decided to stick around. I figured somebody would find me eventually. Too bad it was you guys.
Researcher Carlson: Hmm. Do you know anything about any books or research notes that the scientists who operated on you may have had?
SCP-039-A: [shakes its head] Nope. Like I said, I was just a test subject.
Researcher Carlson: Interesting. While we're on the subject, how exactly did the chimpanzees escape their cages?
SCP-039-A: [shrugs] Beats me. Cole probably forgot to lock the cages or something.
Researcher Carlson: Hmm.
SCP-039-A: Even smart people make mistakes.
Researcher Carlson: I suppose.
Note: He's lying. I'm requesting the use of enhanced chemical interrogation techniques. -Researcher Carlson
SCP-039-A: You don't believe me, do you?
Researcher Carlson: I'll ask the questions, thanks.
SCP-039-A: Will you? Or are you just going to sit there and write?
Researcher Carlson: I'll write as long as I want.
SCP-039-A: Fine then, take your time. It's not like I have anywhere else to be anyway. You're just going to put me back in my cell when we're done, right?
Researcher Carlson: Right.
[SCP-039-A removes its hands from the keyboard and leans back with them behind its head. Researcher Carlson finishes writing.]
Researcher Carlson: Okay, SCP-039-A. Just one more question.
SCP-039-A: You really enjoy calling me that, don't you? Makes it easier to forget I'm a person.
Researcher Carlson: Are you able to communicate with the monkeys?
SCP-039-A: What?
Researcher Carlson: The journal we recovered indicates that you may have been able to communicate with them, and the altered chimpanzees, in some way.
SCP-039-A: That must be Cole's journal. You know he's an idiot, right? Not to mention a dick. He didn't like me, or the chimps.
Researcher Carlson: Are you saying that you can't communicate with other SCP-039 instances?
SCP-039-A: I mean, can you communicate with your dog? They're smart animals.
Researcher Carlson: Yes, but I can talk to my dog, and he can see me. You and the monkeys can't do either of those things.
[SCP-039-A hesitates.]
SCP-039-A: I'd like to go back to my cell now.
[SCP-039-A crosses its arms.]
Researcher Carlson: This interview is not over.
[SCP-039-A does not respond.]
Researcher Carlson: You're not going to cooperate, are you?
[SCP-039-A shakes its head.]
Researcher Carlson: Fine. But this isn't over.
<end log>
Researcher Carlson's request for chemical interrogation is pending Ethics Committee approval, as SCP-039-A's altered physiology, metabolism, and psychology make the effects of mnestics and similar drugs on it difficult to predict.
Below is the transcript of Researcher Carlson's second interview with SCP-039-A, conducted the following day.
<begin log>
Researcher Carlson: Hello again, SCP-039-A.
[SCP-039-A does not respond.]
Researcher Carlson: I'd like to ask you some questions about the procedure that removed your face.
[SCP-039-A nods, slowly.]
Researcher Carlson: First, how was it performed?
SCP-039-A: What do you mean?
Researcher Carlson: Was it a surgical operation? A thaum- er, magical ritual? Were you genetically modified?
SCP-039-A: [shrugs] They didn't tell me the specifics, and I was out during the operation.
Researcher Carlson: You didn't ask?
SCP-039-A: [shakes head] It's not like I would've understood the science anyway. They just told me it would make me smarter and I wouldn't have to eat anymore. And that I'd go blind, but my hearing would get better so it wouldn't be so bad.
Researcher Carlson: And you agreed to this?
SCP-039-A: [nods] You would have too.
Researcher Carlson: What makes you say that?
[SCP-039-A thinks briefly.]
SCP-039-A: Rough estimate, how much money do you spend on food every month? Groceries, restaurants, everything.
Researcher Carlson: Uh, a couple hundred bucks? It varies.
SCP-039-A: Now, imagine that you still had those hundred bucks every month. That's more than a thousand a year. What would you buy with that? Something that you want but don't have right now, because of your budget.
Researcher Carlson: …uh, well, I've been trying to complete my rare coin collection.
SCP-039-A: Cool. So just think, if you didn't have to eat, you'd have all those rare coins.
Researcher Carlson: Well, yeah, but I like eating.
SCP-039-A: Do you? Or is that just your biological need to eat tricking your brain into enjoying something it doesn't really have a choice about?
Researcher Carlson: Of course I like eating! I mean, maybe not always, but when I go to a fancy restaurant or something I do.
SCP-039-A: Okay, fine. Let me put it like this. You want to lose some weight, right?
Researcher Carlson: What? [Researcher Carlson looks down at his body.]
SCP-039-A: Just guessing. Most of you people do.
Researcher Carlson: Us people?
SCP-039-A: People who can afford to eat. Before I got my face off, I only got to eat if I went to a homeless shelter or fished something out of the trash. But you have the opposite problem, don't you? Eating too much.
Researcher Carlson: Well, I suppose so.
SCP-039-A: Now, imagine if you never had to worry about that. If you didn't have to try and fail to exercise self-control when you reach for one more piece of cake, or one more deep-fried whatever. Because you can't eat, but that doesn't bother you because you don't want to anyway. Pretty soon after your operation your body will naturally reach a healthy weight. But you can still build muscle. Heck, I was skinny as a post before I got rid of my face. Now look at me!
Researcher Carlson: Uh, I think I'll stick with my diet.
SCP-039-A: How about this, then? How much time do you spend eating every day?
Researcher Carlson: Look, I just want to know more about the procedure. This isn't necessary.
SCP-039-A: You wanted to know why I volunteered, didn't you? I'm trying to explain it to you. Or do you not really want to know?
Researcher Carlson: [sighs] Fine, carry on.
SCP-039-A: So how much time do you spend eating?
Researcher Carlson: I don't know, maybe an hour total?
SCP-039-A: And how much time do you spend cooking? Shopping for food? Driving back and forth to the place where you shop, bringing in the groceries, putting them away? Or when you go to a restaurant, how much time do you waste deciding where to go, driving out there, waiting for your table, waiting to order, waiting for the food, waiting for the check. Then, after you eat, how much time do you spend shitting every day? How much of your life is wasted sitting on a toilet, wiping your own ass, smelling your own shit like an animal? Do you have any idea how much of your short life is wasted fulfilling base biological needs? How much of the stuff you WANT to do with your life never gets done, because you're too busy doing what you HAVE to?
Researcher Carlson: [sighs] I understand that, but I like my face where it is.
[SCP-039-A shakes its head slowly]
SCP-039-A: Well, maybe if you were in the shoes that I was in you'd think differently. From where I was, a face was a small price to pay. I don't guess it matters now, though, since I'm in a box.
Researcher Carlson: I'm sorry about that, but surely you can understand the kind of uproar that a man with no face would cause if we just let you wander around in public.
[SCP-039-A hesitates for several seconds, fingers hovering above the keyboard.]
SCP-039-A: Did you have any other questions?
Researcher Carlson: Well, we're wondering if you've experienced any other psychological changes. The monkeys show much higher cognitive performance than unaltered ones, and we want to know if you've experienced anything similar.
SCP-039-A: Definitely! It's a little more complicated than just being smarter, though.
Researcher Carlson: How so?
SCP-039-A: Well, it's all about attention. I can hear better now, what with the [SCP-039-A gestures at the upper half of its "face".] But I also listen better, if that makes any sense, because I'm not distracted any more. I never realized it before, and you probably don't either, I'm not sure anybody can if they still have a face, but people are always distracted. Thinking about a thousand different things, worrying about your job (or lack of one, in my case), trying to figure out what you're gonna have for dinner, where you're gonna sleep, how you're gonna get your next fix, whatever that is for you. But I don't have to deal with all that anymore, so I can pay attention, REALLY pay attention, when I'm listening, and remember all of it. And when I'm thinking, trying to solve a math problem or something, I can concentrate, REALLY concentrate. It's like the difference between being sober and being drunk.
Researcher Carlson: Speaking of which: the documents we found indicate that you were addicted to drugs before the operation.
SCP-039-A: I was a crackhead before they took my face off. But I haven't craved it even a little bit since the operation. Didn't even withdraw. That's interesting to you, I imagine?
Researcher Carlson: Yes, it is. Do you know why this is the case?
SCP-039-A: Not scientifically. Seemed like Damien and the other guys didn't expect that. But I do know
[SCP-039-A pauses briefly.]
SCP-039-A: intrinsically? Spiritually? I can feel it. If that makes any sense.
Researcher Carlson: Can you explain this feeling?
SCP-039-A: It's simple really. It's like what I was talking about with the food. Now that my face is gone, and a whole bunch of my organs too, I don't know which ones, exactly, but most of them, I'm cut off from that.
Researcher Carlson: From what?
SCP-039-A: Urges. Base instincts. The monkey brain. Before, my body craved things. Food, water, sex, drugs, booze. I could barely think. REALLY think, the way I do now. But not anymore. When they removed my face, they removed the monkey. Now it's just me in here.
[SCP-039-A taps its forehead.]
SCP-039-A: Just a rational human being in complete control of himself.
<end log>