Personnel File: CrankyMonkey2
rating: +12+x

CRANKYMONKEY2'S FILE:

[BEGIN INTRO]

CrankyMonkey2: Well, since I'm such a lazy schmuck, and I'm currently schvitzing on my tuches, I'm just gonna give a brief summary of myself. If you are in need of a sarcastic, pessimistic, down-right fowl, stereotypically loud, grimy, and somewhat charming man…I ain't it chief. You're probably better off with uncle Lenny downstairs. Anyway, enjoy this audio log.

What do I like? Well…True Detective: Season 1 is the best show to have ever existed, and you will never change my mind. Rust Cohle is my spirit animal. Uh…food's pretty nice. Not too picky, food is food. And uh…jazz, yeah jazz is nice. (begins to sweat nervously) Let's move on then.

OK, "Key Defining Factors." I play the tuba. Pretty good at it too, if I say so myself.

Lenny from Downstairs: He is! He plays so loud, when I tell him to shut up, he don't even hear me!

CrankyMonkey2: I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A LIFE-CHANGING INNER MONOLOGUE, UNCLE LENNY!

Lenny from downstairs: Oh…sorry.

CrankyMonkey2: (clears throat) Sorry about that. Sometimes I just need to let off a little steam. So, other factors…Well, to quote Rust Cohle from True Detective: Season 1, "In philosophical terms, I'm what's called a pessimist." But you already…knew that. Fucking hell, this graphic organizer is shi—

"Struggles and Weaknesses!" Fun. Well, I'm as I said, I'm not the most positive human being in the world. Some might even call me an "asshole," but I don't listen to them, mainly because I'm an ignorant asshole. People also call me childish, I call myself fun. I don't see the point of doing anything without at least having joy in it. Except calculus…calculus is hard and miserable…I struggle with reading social cues, in case you care…not sure why you would, but there we go. You know now, CONGRATS!

Ah screw it, let's just get to the reason why you're here. Beneath this audio log, you will see a list of my works. Read them, or don't, your choice.

Lenny from downstairs: They're pretty long. Probably take you five years to finish them.

CrankyMonkey2: (deep breath) LENNY I SWEAR TO GO—

[END INTRO]

Collabs:

PACKAGE-DXV 180294-217 (first article)

Brief Description: I actually wrote this with TheMightyMcB. We tried writing an SCP together, and that failed. After a month or two, I pitch him my idea of an SCP-217 tale, and he gave me a greenlight. I figured I'd ask him to be my coauthor, since I was still just beginning. He jumped aboard, and we wrote this thing in three days. He took care of the clinical dialogue and some touch ups with the journal, and I focused on the story. It was one of the most enjoyable experiences of my entire life, and I wouldn't give up any minute of it.

Solo Work:

Fernand's Memoir

Slightly Longer, but still brief description: So I wrote this during the time that California was hit by the fires, and I was trying to find a way to relieve my stress. I wake up one night, schvitzing like there's no tomorrow, and I say to myself, "Hey! Why don't I write poetry by a cannibal?" And I did. This is probably my favorite work, just because I've always loved SCP-082, and I just wanted to portray it as his lifetime. There's still a few thing I'd like to change, but overall I thought it was pretty damn good. Like the first article, I enjoyed every minute of writing this, and this article is what made get into my zone.

Incident 028-A

Regular Description: This is probably the most mixed piece I've written so far. A lot of people like it, a lot don't. I, personally, am indifferent. I just wanted to talk about a topic I'm sensitive about, and I've always held a grudge against Wayne Williams. The prick deserves worse than hell. I didn't enjoy this tale as much as the others, and it's clear to see why. It's a touchy subject, and I felt uncomfortable just talking about it. If you get offended, or just don't like this tale, I wouldn't blame you. If you think my portrayal of the characters is off, I am truly sorry. I tried my best, and asked for lots of help along the way. I just hope that the end result was something at least halfway decent.

And…that's all he wrote. For now at least.

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