News for June 2019

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month1, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

Fandom Stuff

  • The Collaboration Contest began. Over twenty teams of writers submitted stories in which unique circumstances bring together in cooperation two different Groups of Interest of the SCP universe. Each team's story is told across two articles.

Featured Articles

  • The Green Prince - "Typically, a Type-Green entity’s first experience with his or her abilities comes unintentionally, in response to an immediate perceived threat." Written by giant enemy spycrab
  • SCP-3052 ("Disturbed") - "However, it was discovered that any subject viewing SCP-3052-1 will perceive it as facing them directly, no matter which angle or direction the subject views it from." Written by Witryso

Reviewer's Spotlight Articles

  • SCP-4985 ("High Finance") - "As a result, the operation of SCP-4985 approximates that of a European monarchy of the Late Middle Ages." Written by ModernMajorGeneralModernMajorGeneral, selected by aismallard
  • SCP-4958 ("You Are Loved") - "SCP-4958 refers to Lycoris radiata (more commonly known as red spider lilies) that bloom near individuals who have had a major conflict with their loved ones." Written by N_Aepic_FaelN_Aepic_Fael, selected by Crashington
  • SCP-4064 ("It's not you, it's us") - "SCP-4064 is a hive-mind, capable of inhabiting six distinct bodies." Written by HenzoidHenzoid, selected by N_Aepic_Fael
  • SCP-4981 ("The Room You Used To Live In") - "MTF Gamma-76 ("Mother Mara") currently guards the entrance to SCP-4981-B's rental apartment, disguised as custodial staff." Written by KindlyTurtleClemKindlyTurtleClem, selected by unclenicolini

You will notice little '📈' emojis beside some articles. That denotes SCP articles which were under 30 and tales which were under 20 when this edition of site news was posted. Give them a little love! Speaking from personal experience, the most frustrating thing that can happen to an article is not deletion, but stagnating below 20 without any comments. So try to read, vote, and comment on these articles! They're often hidden gems :)

Week of June 1st:

SCPs

  • SCP-4670 ("Pigs in Blankets") - 40% of food critics approve! Written by A Random DayA Random Day.
  • SCP-4175 ("Friends Made, and the Void") - For when you really want to make friends in the cold nothingness. Written by NagirosNagiros.
  • SCP-4046 ("What do you want to be when you grow up?") - i wanna be a farmer. Written by Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini.
  • SCP-4817 ("Horseman Holiday Rentals in scenic King Louis XVI of France") - Visit the body of King Louis XVI today! Written by MaliceAforethoughtMaliceAforethought and Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini
  • 📈SCP-4906 ("On the Sixth Month Gale") - Can't wait for the seventh. Written by AKFrostAKFrost.
  • SCP-4882 ("Coördinated Universal Containment Procedures") - titanium box!!! Written by Lambda FairyLambda Fairy.
  • SCP-4481 ("A Casualty of the Single Worst Astronautical Disaster in History") - This is the worst Challenger timeline. Written by IhpIhp.
  • SCP-4945 ("Hi Hungry, I'm Dad") - great. more dad jokes. Written by SwineappleSwineapple.
  • SCP-4316 ("The Water's Warm") - Summer memories. Or are they just a dream? Written by Captain KirbyCaptain Kirby and RounderhouseRounderhouse
  • SCP-4228 ("Karma Kameleon") - Loving you'd be easy if your colors were like my dreams. Written by T RutherfordT Rutherford.
  • SCP-025-J ("Liquid SCP Foundation") - "The SCP Foundation® is responsible but not liable for any injuries that occur during the use of SCP-025-J™" Written by RogetRoget.
  • SCP-4223 ("The Baja Blast ^TM^") - Mountain Dew-licious. Written by stormbreathstormbreath.
  • SCP-4621 ("An Eternal Fiery Nightmare") - A book that got so angry, it ignited itself and picked up a sword. Written by DrMagnusDrMagnus.
  • 📈SCP-4740 ("As Davy wondered where they'd been, he read a book named Grass and Green.") - Just how green can the grass grow? Written by Gibbon ManGibbon Man.
  • SCP-4187 (""Fools," said I, "You do not know, Burgers like a cancer grow."") - The world's worst burger king. Written by PopsioakPopsioak.
  • SCP-4663 ("3D Printed Spiders Printing Printed Printers Printing Spider Printers Printing Spiders Printing Printed Spider Printers") - The Department of Redundancy Department, now with 100% more spiders. Written by XilasCroweXilasCrowe.
  • SCP-4597 ("Thick-Skinned Man") - "Colonel, I'm trying to outrun the Jailers, but I'm dummy thicc, and the clap of my skin keeps alerting WerylliumWeryllium."
  • SCP-4196 ("Daughter of the Confederacy") - THE SOUTH WILL NOT RISE AGAIN Written by Nameless MediocreNameless Mediocre.
  • 📈SCP-4557 ("Detective Fiver, Crime Solving Raccoons") - Procy? Is that you?! Written by JanitorCakeworthJanitorCakeworth.
  • 📈SCP-4154 ("Petwyrm") - Weird dog. But still good! Written by rattlesrattles.

Tales

GoI Formats

Week of June 8th:

SCPs

  • SCP-4507 ("The Solitary Path to Enlightenment") - Make way for apotheosis! Written by caspian2caspian2.
  • SCP-4182 ("There is no Site-5") - But there is a Site-05, interestingly enough. Written by The Great HippoThe Great Hippo.
  • 📈SCP-4676 ("The Consequence of Unwanted Isolation or Gratuitous Seclusion") - Are you alive if no one is there to see you? Written by AlleraRey AlleraRey .
  • SCP-4431 ("Bleeding Beneath Antarctica") - A Hytoth that died is shining in the permafrost. Written by NatVoltaicNatVoltaic.
  • SCP-4668 ("Since I Left Me") - I've found the world so blue. Written by MaliceAforethoughtMaliceAforethought.
  • 📈SCP-4229 ("Mother's Gift") - Aww, you shouldn't have! Written by DAMNCEDAMNCE.
  • 📈SCP-4270 ("Does Benjamin Harrison Shit In The Oval Office?") - Deadly BreadDeadly Bread interrogated me on this topic during an extended waterboarding session.
  • SCP-378 ("Brainworm") - Pizza time. Written by UraniumEmpireUraniumEmpire.
  • 📈SCP-4412 ("What Could Have Been?") - Reflection can be one's worst enemy. Written by Mew-ltiverseMew-ltiverse.
  • 📈SCP-4871 ("Mirror Image") - egamI rorriM. Written by ProasekProasek.
  • SCP-4165 ("Well, at least the idea has legs") - as opposed to fins. Written by AlanDarisAlanDaris.
  • SCP-4877 ("9.8m/s²") - Good airwaves, baby! Written by Captain KirbyCaptain Kirby.
  • SCP-4983 ("I'm dummy thicc and my ghost keeps alerting salarymen") - East meets East several years later. Written by KindlyTurtleClemKindlyTurtleClem.
  • 📈SCP-4915 ("Sermon on Mount Song") - What lurks beneath the word sung by mountains? Written by KindlyTurtleClemKindlyTurtleClem.
  • 📈SCP-4794 ("The Renegade from Gliese 581") - How many times has earth been invaded? Written by Axles126Axles126.
  • SCP-4489 ("Apologies") - So sorry. Written by djkaktusdjkaktus.
  • SCP-4279 ("A Toast to my Finished Thesis") - Don't piss off graduate students! Written by Nameless MediocreNameless Mediocre.
  • 📈SCP-4415 ("Humanoid Containment Chamber #λ045") - As long as it is useful. Written by NagirosNagiros.

Tales

Other

Week of June 15th:

SCPs

  • SCP-4211 ("Memoirmento") - Do you trust AyersAyers?
  • SCP-4841 ("St. John of the Blood-Smeared Cross") - The paintings watch through eyes of blood. Written by TuftoTufto.
  • 📈SCP-4811 ("Instant Mirror from the Factory") - Just add water! Written by wam3483wam3483.
  • SCP-5297-EX ("ROUGH DRAFT EDIT FOR BREVITY DO FOR THURSDAY") - Spoilers for the O5's backstory. Written by Stark MoopsStark Moops.
  • SCP-3725 ("Ironically, I don't have a Good Idea for a Title") - I don't have a good blurb either. Written by LaneousLaneous.
  • 📈SCP-4732 (""Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin: Our Kind of Paradise!"") - Music can change the world, or something idk. Written by OhsahiOhsahi.
  • 📈SCP-4251 ("Natural Selection") - It's survival of the fittest. Written by InkmouthInkmouth.
  • 📈SCP-4929 ("Lake of Rage") - SHINY GYARADOS LETS GO Written by AKFrostAKFrost.
  • 📈SCP-4238 ("Those aren't blueberries…") - … then what are they, FluidhelixFluidhelix?
  • 📈SCP-4705 ("The Hell We Bring With") - yum! Written by ManyMeatsManyMeats.
  • 📈SCP-4721 ("Euclid") - We talking Geometry or Object Class? Written by GrimmCreeperGrimmCreeper.

Tales

GOI Formats

Week of June 22nd:

SCPs

Tales

Other


Collab-Con Articles

TEAM NAME: "Coffee and Tea"

TEAM MEMBERS: Captain KirbyCaptain Kirby & TuftoTufto

Version 1.3.0
Ok… fixed Signals problem. But uhh, not entirely sure how. Some guy called C. H. Jones on GospelExchange told me to recite something and then rub like some fucking sand in the machine? But I guess it worked so I can't really complain.

l1ttl3_lamb: You're not talking like yourself any more

me_k_night: there is a reason prophets speak like this. are you ready?

l1ttl3_lamb: I think so.

me_k_night: then lets ascend.


TEAM NAME: "FIRE TURTLE"

TEAM MEMBERS: KindlyTurtleClemKindlyTurtleClem & FloppyPhoenixFloppyPhoenix

They're investigating our flesh liaisons; our business ledgers; our boys in prison; our corpus ad Astra; our transactions with the Spirit and Irrealta; our fuckin' families. All because of you, Luca.

  • SCP: SCP-4475 ("So Long, and Thanks for All the Milk")

TIMOTHY: Or water — I need some fuckin' water. I've been drinking the wall teats, but they're… [He trails off.]

[Silence.]

UNKNOWN: [Gurgling.]

TIMOTHY: You don't talk much, do you? Huh? Huh?

[Camera pans to left. Visual distortion masks figure.]

TIMOTHY: The fuck kind of look is on your face, anyway?

[A white vestigial appendage rises slowly from the silhouette,


TEAM NAME: "New Blood"

TEAM MEMBERS: Nameless MediocreNameless Mediocre & TheBlueHourTheBlueHour

This creates a cascade effect that is lethal to all non-cetacean marine life within 500 km of the affected cetacean pod (see Addendum 4373-2).

They squeezed back out into the rapidly flooding base and started running.

"You guys have your own submarine right?" Coach Damon asked them.


TEAM NAME: "Anti-Weed Mascot Skating Platypus Archer"

TEAM MEMBERS: Deadly BreadDeadly Bread & LaneousLaneous

i read that u need good medicine for brian because the memories keep escape from head. i make u lots drink juice

Katenbrot: Simple erasing stuff, magic scissors, yadda yadda, all that. You've probably dealt with this stuff before.

Mehr: Uh, well, I definitely haven't. Could you tell me more?

Katenbrot: As the wise man in the house-

Mehr: This isn't a house.


TEAM NAME: "Karcists of the Bronze Age"

TEAM MEMBERS: MetaphysicianMetaphysician & UraniumEmpireUraniumEmpire

Foraging, drinking, sleeping: such were liabilities, discarded on the path to apotheosis


TEAM NAME: "Xilas gave us this name out of pity"

TEAM MEMBERS: N_Aepic_FaelN_Aepic_Fael & TheMightyMcBTheMightyMcB

Of all the sick playthings of the Archons, perhaps none can compare to the tragedy of Karcist Halyna Ieva, leader of the Nälkä

[…]emerged from the explosion virtually unscathed. The priest stumbled forward and drew an ornate blade from his hip. Pointing it at the Karcist, he let out a bellowing war cry, before being interrupted by Nevryn.

"Screw this bullshit, you fuckin' metal nutjob"


TEAM NAME: "doggo warcrimes"

TEAM MEMBERS: AyersAyers & Gabriel JadeGabriel Jade

Gregor slid on his ill-gotten Karcist's ring, admiring the beautiful gleam. "It is time, then, Morgan. Open your book. My mind is ready."


TEAM NAME: "DarkSheep"

TEAM MEMBERS: DarkStuffDarkStuff & Ellie3Ellie3

In years prior, Wilson's Wildlife Solutions (WWS) has been too closely connected to the SCP Foundation's power structure to allow for implementation of MAN's Best Friend. However, recent developments

Thank you so much, no one's come to visit and I just, I need a pal, and, my last furry pal isn't with me anymore, and I can't tell you how happy I was to see that we were finally getting a pet shop around here, I'm just so, so… happy. Thank you.


TEAM NAME: "Team Birb"

TEAM MEMBERS: Mew-ltiverseMew-ltiverse & not_a_seagullnot_a_seagull

  • SCP: SCP-4688 ("Manipulative Bike Helmets")

18:13Melobun_: what? u okay?
18:13Po1ntyB1rd: inc pmoputer
18:14Po1ntyB1rd: im inmy computer
18:16TheCh33teeo: uuuh haha i feel like that too
18:16Po1ntyB1rd: l iterally

He didn't listen to me

i cant stop him

hes too big

Im calling the police


TEAM NAME: "Mack Sennett's Wildies"

TEAM MEMBERS: DrChandraDrChandra & LordStonefishLordStonefish

  • SCP: SCP-4292 ("herbie fucker really very good circus of the unsettle by dado")
Test #, Subject Results
Test #6, one female lab mouse Instantly multiplied into a thousand identical copies and appeared to possess a swarm intelligence. Some of the swarm would put on a choreographed performance to distract observers while the others stole accessible valuables.
Test #7, one male lab mouse Transformed into a non-anomalous zebra.

"yes this is dado. owner of many fine dado business like dado speed date and colon detox. what can dado do 4 u?"

"Jesus Murphy, what the hell are you doing?" Icky demanded as she and the others recoiled from the phone at the bizarre sensory assault.


TEAM NAME: "Tusk."

TEAM MEMBERS: IhpIhp & Uncle NicoliniUncle Nicolini

Then, you seal the Barrel, and try to ignore the screams— even if they're dead, they scream. You don't get to ask why.

After a few hours, when the screaming dies down, the body will be gone without a trace but the barrel will stay heavy. Don't open it.

For additional mileage
of the gift, I recommend having your least
enthusiastic men use it. This will correct
unwanted behaviors quickly.


TEAM NAME: "The Yogscast"

TEAM MEMBERS: WestrinWestrin & HenzoidHenzoid

The man sits. Though his arms are not there, he crosses them in frustration, but is unable to stay in such a state. In a place such as this, one finds their agitation drifting softly away like the petals on a dandelion.

Reality:
Tasi
Psychology:
Tasi
Privilege Status:
Tasi
Immigration Status:
Closed


TEAM NAME: "Crashing into Your DMs"

TEAM MEMBERS: CrashingtonCrashington & devonmartindevonmartin

She leaned towards Sal's right ear and whispered something unintelligible. After a moment, Sal took a step back, aghast.

"N-No!" he stammered. "I mean, it would _work_, but… That just… It wouldn't be right."

  • SCP: SCP-4714 ("Dr. Wondertainment's 𝓜𝔂 𝓤𝓷𝓲𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓷 𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭™")

Discovery: On August 31, 2019, two cardboard boxes were delivered by mail to Site-19. Security personnel searched the boxes, finding 48 instances of SCP-4714 and the following letter:

𝓣𝓸 𝓶𝔂 𝔀𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓯𝓾𝓵 𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓼* 𝓪𝓽 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓕𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷:


TEAM NAME: "The Liquidators"

TEAM MEMBERS: Sterbai Sterbai & ModulumModulum

AK-1: The soul of cruelty is still part of you, part of all the children of the Sun. You may have buried it underneath your civilization, but your hearts have not changed.

IY: Perhaps that's true. But we need to set that aside if we are to both gain from this.

  • SCP:️ SCP-4426 ("The Unforgettable Fire")

*I do not feel remorse for what happened, even as I feel them screaming out from the corpses of our creations,feeling trapped as we were and will be. They can fester, and beg, and maybe one day they can be at peace or find forgiveness. But not today. Not from me.*


TEAM NAME: "Punchy Dreamy Love Songs (And What’s Wrong With That?)"

TEAM MEMBERS: LeveritasLeveritas & RogetRoget

  • SCP: SCP-1767 ("An Agent Of The Shark Punching Center")

They built her for me. I don't even know her name, but it's the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. They won't let me in her room yet, they need to check her vitals and stuff.

One day they said we might have kids to beat the shit out of some tooth-shedding cartilage-having assholes. Do sharks have assholes? Whatever. I'll give them assholes. Assholes.

IMAGE AGGRESSIVELY CENSORED

TEAM NAME: "The A-Team"

TEAM MEMBERS: AlanDarisAlanDaris & ArbelictArbelict

"We need your help. They are stuck there, in a dream. Nothing can awaken them, not even stopping the records. We value all customers, but these are especially important."

  • SCP: SCP-4363 ("Wake Me Up, I'm Living a Nightmare")

A nearby humanoid dressed in a uniform of Air Force general begins to twitch convulsively. It proceeds to do so for approximately a minute, after that the creature brings a glass of champagne to the part of the head where the mouth should be located.


TEAM NAME: "Totally Evil Anime Monstahs"

TEAM MEMBERS: PopsioakPopsioak & TechSorcerer2747TechSorcerer2747

“HELLO PROGENITOR,” it spoke. “I AM UNIT M4-G0, DESIGNED TO REPLICATE YOUR ACTIONS AND THOUGHT PROCESSES.” Mago had nervously shaken its hand, to which it had responded, “FABULOUS GRIP OLD BOY,”

  • SCP: SCP-4218 ("www.alexylvauniversity.███")

COURSE DESCRIPTION: HISTORY ITSELF HAS PROVEN THAT THE ONLY TRIED AND TRUE METHOD TO PEACE IS COMPLETE AND TOTALLY ENSURING THAT THE ENEMY SHALT NOT DOUBT YOUR POWER. TO ENSURE THAT THIS DIMENSION REMAINS SAFE,…


TEAM NAME: "Rio Grande Hurricane"

TEAM MEMBERS: PokemonprimePokemonprime & Avelon21Avelon21

Fortunately, no other casualties or major injuries occurred, and we have a replacement for this and can continue demonstrating the power of music.

The band had fled—big surprise—with the exception of the soloist, who they found tied up backstage, mumbling and sobbing.


TEAM NAME: "Have you tried restarting it?"

TEAM MEMBERS: pxdnbluesoulpxdnbluesoul & aismallardaismallard

No further action is needed at this time. Approved. -C. Thompson

NOTE: This section has been locked. Modifications to the description require manual approval by Lead Researcher Thompson.

Approved at $7,500,000.00. Confidential Informant name will be Clock Tower. Sign and return via email.

MA

Attachment: Otherwise Illegal Activity - Clock Tower.pdf (90.1 KiB)


TEAM NAME: "Les Aliens"

TEAM MEMBERS: Dr LakeDr Lake & Oboebandgeek99Oboebandgeek99

The fractal island is extant in Timeline Z-273, with no notable derivations from the baseline. There’s something of a conflict between the SCP Foundation and the UIU over who truly possesses the island.

She had gotten that chance. And she…

Had she blown it? Was it just not time? What the hell happened on that island?


TEAM NAME: "Something Clever Please (And Make It A Backronym)"

TEAM MEMBERS: Boogey_Man23Boogey_Man23 & PatersonFerretedPatersonFerreted

You promised opportunities; for exposure, for money, for a chance to expand the scope of our artistic projects. But the direction of things lately is troubling to me.

"Oh, I dunno ma'am. I mean, I'm sure I've heard that real artists don't do it for the money, or something like that probably." With a shrug he added "But hey, ya gotta live, right?"


Fanart

This month we are highlighting works by artists who have artwork pages on the SCP.

See these and more artists' works on the SCP Artwork Hub.


toadking07toadking07

toadking07-1.jpg

Visit Toadking07 Art Hub


SunnyClockworkSunnyClockwork

sunny-1.jpgsunny-2.jpgsunny-3.jpg

Visit SunnyClockwork's Artwork Hub


DianaBerryDianaBerry

diana-1.jpgdiana-2.jpgdiana-3.jpg

Visit Diana’s Spectacular (Not Really) Art Hub


RaddagherRaddagher

Raddagher-1.jpgRaddagher-2.jpgRaddagher-3.jpg

Visit Raddagher's Toon Zone


TanijaTanija

Tanija-1.jpgTanija-2.jpgTanija-3.jpg

Visit Tanijas Art Corner


Mew-ltiverseMew-ltiverse

Mew-ltiverse-1.jpgMew-ltiverse-2.jpgMew-ltiverse-3.jpg

Visit mewlti-verses-art-hub


7happy77happy7

Visit 7happy7's SVG-animation Gallery


W AsrielW Asriel

Asriel-1.jpgAsriel-2.jpgAsriel-3.jpg

Visit Asriel's Artwork Page


RandomravenRandomraven

raven-1.jpgraven-2.jpgraven-3.jpg

Visit Randomraven artwork hub



——

Q&A:

Q: Can I replace a blurb that you wrote for one of my articles with my own? I'm not satisfied with it.

A: Absolutely. You will always have that option at any point.

Q: I noticed an error/typo/incorrect information and wish to correct it. May I?

A: Sure! If the changes are not limited to your own article(s) and/or are substantial changes across multiple entries, you should post in that month's discussion page and then make the changes.

Q: I wrote an article and it seems to have stuck. Can I send a blurb of mine to one of the frequent collaborators?

A: Yup! It's much easier if you come to us about it, and it gives you the control over what you want shown on the news page.


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