News for May 2018

News Time Capsule

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Welcome to this installment of site news, where something, something May the Fourth meme!

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month1, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

Featured Articles

  • The featured articles for May were SCP-2881 "The Tree You Cannot Climb" by Zmax15, Astronomical by Sophia Light, and P'rantortiz the Vile by Shaggydredlocks! The first is about an escalating threat is put to the test, the second a chilling account of a dying world, and the third is a Black Queen-article about an ancient evil! Check 'em out!

Event Featured Articles

The theme for the month of May was wooden!

  • In SCP-805 (Poison Wood Foal) by Aura Vesta a coarse colt carries a calcifying contagion!
  • In SCP-3197 (A Trickster God for the Modern Age) by ZoltanBerrigomo, one can be led to wealth and prosperity through the power of prayer and Alan Greenspan!
  • In SCP-421 (Shoal of Driftwood) by Sirava a mass of hungry, hungry detritus stalks the briny deep!

Week of May 1st:

SCPs

  • SCP-3649 ("Overcast and Overwhelming") - It was a dark and stormy planet… Forecasted by Pedantique.
  • SCP-3970 ("i want to contain too") - The Foundation's new top-of-the-line detention center. Written 500 times on the blackboard after class by Endren.
  • SCP-3834 ("Fossil Records") - A collection of classic, classic, classic, classic, classic, classic, classic rock hits! Recorded by Wildman8.
  • SCP-3053 ("Off the Rails") - D-2172 doesn't give a damn how scary you are. She will wreck your shit! Written by Jim North.
  • SCP-3566 ("Not Even That Funny") - *canned laughter ensues* Written by Mortos.
  • CODE NAME: Lily ("The World's Gone Beautiful") - "♪Well, well, well, so I can die easy♪" Written by LilyFlower.
  • SCP-3351 ("Future Days") - An ecological mist eerie. Created by CommunismAnarchismNihilism Decibelles.
  • SPC-1057 ("Absence Of Punchable Shark") - What do you mean we can't punch it? Pugilated by Captain Kirby.
  • SCP-3316 ("The Grand Spectacle") - ♪It's the Eye of the Fighter it's the thrill of a night, where we rise and eject out from our sockets♪ Written by Doctor Cimmerian.
  • SCP-3670 ("Dreamed Corn") - What, like you could ever want anything more out of life? Somnomnomnambulated by Taffeta.
  • SCP-3436 ("ABE") - A one-way ticket to Skyzone. Written by scpcrnp.
  • SCP-3398 ("Hilbert's Grand Elevator") - "♪We are all just prisoners here, of our own device♪". Written by Bluernoon.
  • SCP-3414 ("Beware of Toilet Snake") - Supposedly it makes this weird hissing noise when you flush it, but eh… probably not a big deal. Written by minmin.
  • SCP-3279 ("Pareidolia") - "Retrieval, transportation, and maintenance of all SCP-3279-1 instances may be carried out only by personnel suffering from severe congenital prosopagnosia." Written by duodude55.

Tales

Misc

Week of May 8th:

SCPs

  • SCP-3272 ("Croatoan Protocol") - "What happens when the disaster is stopped?" Written by Didelphis.
  • SCP-3919 ("In Memoriam") - "While SCP-3919-A exhibited no known anomalous properties while alive, following his death an anomaly manifested in which eponymous objects, or items understood to be 'his' by multiple individuals, were converted into instances of SCP-3919-B." Written by ModernMajorGeneral.
  • SCP-3688 ("You Can Dance If You Want To") - It may be embarrassing, but Ill be damned if it isn't effective. Written by Mortos.
  • SCP-3575 ("It's a Small Town") - "sometimes it's all i can do not to hope." Written by Noktigo.
  • SCP-3326 ("On May 3rd 2005, Dr. Tobias Scranton died in a car accident in 1964") - That's my reality and I'm sticking to it. Written by Greentext.
  • SCP-3603 ("Oops! All Bears") - Part of a nutritious breakfast. Written by Big_Train_52.
  • SCP-3938 ("Dr. Wondertainment's Take-You-Anywhere Machine") - "Oh, the places you'll go!" Written by Baronjoe.
  • SCP-3904 ("Two Cats in a Skin Suit") - The "MM" in "MMA" actually stands for "Meow Meow" Written by minmin.
  • SCP-3892 ("A Very Heavy Metal Bedtime") - "SCP-3892-01 is a large (approx. 2.3 meters tall) skeletal humanoid figure, dressed in a spiked leather jacket, torn denim trousers, and black motorcycle boots." Written by CadaverCommander.
  • SCP-3807 ("A Real Bad Hombre") - aka "Better Call Set" Written by AbsentmindedNihilist.
  • SCP-3277 ("Speak Softly And Carry A Big Stick") - "I've got the magic stick bust the baddest tricks" Written by DrChandra.
  • SCP-3664 ("The Only Weapon You Need is the One in Your Head") - Give me a minute, I'm thinking of a fun new way to kill you. Written by NatVoltaic.
  • SCP-3907 ("Warhorse") - "To the fallen." Written by Krag-Jorgensen.
  • SCP-3464 ("Even Garlic Bread Can Be Creepy") - "Take the bite, or suffer the consequences." Written by Lt Flops.
  • SCP-123-EX ("Accidents Happen") - A former member of the Chicago Spirit plays the long con… Written by BananaRepublic.
  • SCP-3957 ("The Eternal Soviet Prison") - "As you can see, sir, our prisoners are kept in an animated state at all times, despite not receiving any food or water." Written by Doomblade3890.
  • SCP-3261 ("The Dragon's Tongue") - This koto has another world hidden inside. Written by BottomOfTheBaarle.

Tales

Misc

Week of May 15th:

SCPs

  • SCP-3982 ("The Devourer of Filth Would Like to Be Friends With You") - "Haha. I got the bees. Can we be friends?" Written by CadaverCommander.
  • SCP-3704 ("Requiem") - "They're tearing at my mind, burning their names and faces in my soul." Written by Arclapse.
  • SCP-3743 ("Tank School: A School for Tanks!") - "I want to kill you. Tee Hee!" Written by Jacobisbatman.
  • SCP-3324 ("Getting kidney stones in the past is more useful than you'd think") - "Good luck soldier, and drink plenty of fluids." Written by Zzuxon.
  • SCP-049-ARC ("Plague Doctor") - His cure is most effective. Written by Gabriel Jade.
  • SCP-3386 ("Night Owls") - "Where the hell do you buy an owl carcass?" Written by IAmTheOoga.
  • SCP-3720 ("Smiting on a Budget") - "You chose a strange line of work if you value human life this much." Written by Freemayne.
  • SCP-3297 ("Gramma Always Remembers.") - "He might forget about little old me, but gramma always remembers." Written by Uncle Nicolini.
  • SCP-3768 ("Three Moons Public Radio") - "Meteorological station Aleph is maintaining a pleasant 62 degrees out today, so wear a light jacket if you're headed to the meat tree market." Written by daveyoufool.
  • SCP-3848 ("History Exists for the Memorable") — "Manifestations of SCP-3848's effects are referred to as ED-K Lethe Events, and occur at random with no historical correlation to each other." Written by Cyantreuse.
  • SCP-3494 ("Waste Management by dado") - "trouble with poop?" Written by djkaktus.
  • SCP-3532 ("Merch Link in Bio") - Catfishing can be an effective containment strategy when you've your very own John Cena! Written by drbobbobart.

Tales

Misc

Week of May 22nd:

SCPs

  • SCP-3394 ("Brain Scientist") - It thinks, therefore it is. Written by Gabriel Jade.
  • SCP-3779 ("A Greenhouse: Or, How D-80801 Learned To Give In And Embrace Nature") - Mimicry is the most sincere form of flattery. Written by urbandelayed.
  • SCP-017-J ("Narcissistic Time Displacement Field") - "She then experiences the time displacement, making her between 15 minutes to 3 hours late to every god damned thing I have ever invited her to." Written by DrConnors.
  • SCP-3830 ("Sleeping With The Fishes") - "You clearly ain't fuckin' tough enough to sleep with the fishes." Written by DrCaroll.
  • SCP-3680 ("The White Guys") - "I figure I take them down a notch, or at least get some blackmail of them acting like lunatics so they don’t fuck around with me or my friends anymore." Written by SomeMoose.
  • SCP-3349 ("Printing EKG") - "Objectively, SCP-3349 produces a “fluttering” central and peripheral pulse upon palpation, often described as tactilely similar to a purr of Felis catus (the common house cat), and can be auscultated with a stethoscope, the clinical descriptions also citing the purr of Felis catus." Written by scpcrnp.
  • SCP-888-EX ("tan and laundry by dado") - "helo (this is dado) are u in need of cleaner clothes or dirtier skin?" Written by stormbreath.
  • SCP-3348 ("Lost Dictionary") - "As soon as the word is completely spoken, all instances of the entity or concept it is associated with will become negatively effected in some way within a 30m radius of the Subject." Written by DatCactus.
  • SCP-3359 ("The Dry Guy") - "I will reach the bloody limit and gain a real life forever when the streets flow red and the bodies lie dry in the streets where I will walk and feed and live and be freed forever among the bright moon and dry-" Written by DrDromeus.
  • SCP-3508 (""Cute and soft! Kill them off!"") - They'll wuv you fowever and ever… Written by Dog Teeth.
  • SCP-3278 ("Mother Earth, Father Sky") - It's high time someone sits down with the Foundation and gives the The Talk. Written by Oystershell.
  • SCP-3931 ("The End of Days") - "Its effects only manifest when a human being uses the trail after astronomical twilight." Written by ashburystreet.
  • SCP-3523 ("The Quarry") - "kin appears orange-brown, and is covered in hairline cracks." Written by clubby789.
  • SCP-3911 ("Erebus") - "As Brother Tengku can tell you firsthand, the loss of one of the holy senses makes you that much more strong in the others." Written by Dead Moth.
  • SCP-3558 ("Eyelid Removal Tool") - Hopefully this will allow you to see things more clearly. Written by minmin.
  • SCP-3446 ("The Waders") - "SCP-3446 and its wearer will sink further into the surface, and may become completely submerged." Written by IAmTheOoga.
  • SCP-3802 ("hare growth by dado") - dado not all bad, sometime dado just want to make the hare grow for the child smile. Written by TheeSherm.
  • CODE NAME: Tufto ("The Scarlet King") - "For humanity! For life! For the Scarlet King!" Written by Tufto.

Tales

  • No Dating At Work - More bottledick. Written by TroyL.
  • Coffee Date - Still more bottledick. Written by Aggressive Pepsi.
  • Group Date - "Multiple simultaneous dicks stuck in bottles." Written by Captain Kirby.
  • Electronic Data - "Have you heard about that thing down in Bottledick?" Written by Doctor Cimmerian.
  • "It's Like a Dream…" - ♪Bottledick, Bottledick, oh Bottle Bottle Bottle♪ Written by Decibelles.
  • Kids with Guns Part Three - Tensions rise in the third entry of the Kids With Guns series! Written by AFX Neuromancer.
  • Text Message in a Bottle - "Bottledick: The Reckoning" Written by DrChandra.
  • Waffle Date - How I Met Your Bottledick Written by Blaroth.
  • Joey Fucknuts Believes In Himself - "The ground buckled. The sky shrieked. And Joey Steelwings made himself real." Written by CadaverCommander.
  • Showing the Way - "O brave new world, That has such people in 't!" Written by Jim North.
  • Gary and Stu Do Something Gnarly - "Is that the MTF guy? Wait, is he carrying a butt-flap too?" Written by Swaghetti.
  • Everyone Wears a Mask - SCP-049 and SCP-035 have themselves a nice little chat. Written by Gabriel Jade.
  • Paperpushing - "Upon information and belief, the Defendant is an extralegal organization having no affiliation or obligation to any legal entities other than itself, and is regularly exempted from both United States federal regulations and international/United Nations regulations." Written by Cyantreuse.

GOI Formats

Misc


Fandom Stuff

Site-42 Broadcasts from May 2018
Full list at TheeSherm's Author Page & Site-42 Hub

SCP-4357-J, RE: You Want Happy Endings, SCP-3551, SCP-3312, SCP-3295, Dr. Wondertainment: Declassified, SCP-2020, Mobile Task Furries, SCP-3670, SCP-001 Lily's Proposal, SCP-3521, SCP-3929, and SCP-3494

The Dr Cimmerian Broadcasts from May include You're Wrong About D-Class and A Bottle Episode

Fanart

Failcat's fail art made a couple great pieces for May, one for SCP-3898, the other has Cain and Able sporting new do's!

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