News for March 2020

The dynamic nature of this wiki means that linked pages might get moved, renamed, deleted, or replaced. Old news pages remain as time capsules and are not updated to account for these changes.

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month1, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

Fandom Stuff

  • We hope everyone has been safe and cozy during the current pandemic, reminding you to stay indoors as much as you can! Maybe even read some new SCPs released in the month of March, possibly even a tale.

Featured Articles

  • SCP-1742 - ("A Squalid Development") - "Attempts to remove SCP-1742 from an object via normal cleaning methods invariably spread the contamination instead." Written by Murphy_slaw
  • Learning - "So two men rode east across the desert, one on horseback, one on camel, hoping to find themselves dressed in colored silks on the other side." Written by Captain Cain.

Reviewer's Spotlight Articles

  • SCP-5621 - ("Jealousy, Murder, and Alchemy") - "Due to the immobile nature of SCP-5621, the pool complex at Calvin University is marked as closed at this time." Written by DrMagnus, selected by N_Aepic_Fael.
  • SCP-4236 - (" It's the End of the World (And Everyone Feels Fine)") - "It doesn't really matter anymore anyway. The hype is gone, the movement is over." Written by Legotrekker, selected by RockTeethMothEyes.
  • SCP-4192 - ("As Above") - "SCP-4192 refers to the nucleus of a single Hydrogen atom that emits radio waves at random intervals." Written by Connor MacWarren, selected by DrUnoriginal.
  • SCP-4197 - ("Hollow") - "SCP-4197 is a thirty-two-year-old adult humanoid female named Doctor Sarah Veers, an acclaimed surgeon and known practitioner of cytomancy." Written by Dyslexion, selected by HammerMaiden.

You will notice little '📈' emojis beside some articles. That denotes SCP articles which were under 30 and tales which were under 20 when this edition of site news was posted. Give them a little love! Speaking from personal experience, the most frustrating thing that can happen to an article is not deletion, but stagnating below 20 without any comments. So try to read, vote, and comment on these articles! They're often hidden gems :)

Week of March 1st:

SCPs

  • SCP-5343 ("The "For-You News" App!") - Ever wanted personalised news about your life? This is the app for you! (Prolonged use may have side effects) Written by JakdragonX.
  • SCP-5199 ("I Always Loved You, Dear, and I Always Will.") - Nothing can go wrong when Sarkites and babies come together. Written by Notochordian.
  • 📈 SCP-5353 ("Customer Satisfaction Survey") - Got time to fill in a quick survey? We just want to get to know you. Written by CityToast.
  • SCP-5560 ("Corvus Series Pocket Prophet") - What if Siri could tell the future? What if she didn't want to? Written by Jacob Conwell.
  • 📈 SCP-5201 ("The Manananggal") - Come get some Filipino folklore in bite sized segments, written by Kenoma.
  • SCP-5310 ("Coalescence/Integration/ORGANISM") - "we at the Surrealistics Department have decided that //these are the Containment Procedures that can truly be called Special". Written by Tanhony.
  • SCP-5401 ("Thing") - Sometimes, a dream is just a dream. Other times, it isn't. Written by LordStonefish.
  • SCP-5208 ("Part of Your Balanced Breakfast") - What do breakfast cereal, paladins and demons have in common? Kellogs. Written by DrAkimoto.
  • SCP-5757 ("Curse of the Everglade") - //"The game world of SCP-5757 appears to correlate directly to approximately 15,000 acres of land within an Everglades Agricultural Area." Written by Tanhony.
  • SCP-5098 ("This is a callout post for @x.oPrincessBattyx.o") - Denim jackets are back in fashion now, I'm calling it. Written by DianaBerry.
  • SCP-4536 ("Beauty is the eye of the beholder") - Hey I think you've got something in your eye wait, sorry, never mind. Written by ghostchibi.
  • SCP-5395 ("Spheres of Interest") - Touch the spheres to learn cool things! Written by AlanDaris.
  • SCP-5535 ("When Even Your Hand Hates You") - Officer, it wasn't my fault, my hand is possessed! Written by Sebarus.
  • SCP-5320 ("The People's Church Of The Fish That Just Goes On Forever") - "Praise the Fish!" Written by Raddagher.
  • SCP-5444 ("How To Disappear Completely") - Do we not all wish we could remove our younger selves from the internet? Written by UraniumEmpire.
  • SCP-4461 ("lonely at the bottom, innit") - "Nash Pinkle woz here" Written by CityToast.
  • 📈 SCP-5996 ("The Human Amnestic") - Sorry, I forgot what I was doing. SCP-5996? What's that? Written by Baileyjrob.
  • SCP-5166 ("Inspiration") - I suspect Tanhony was making use of this to write this many SCPs in one week.
  • SCP-040-JP ("There is a cat.") - "the cat is here." Written by INT_Translator.
  • SCP-5850 ("A Train to Hell") - Sometimes, you just gotta go fast. Written by JakdragonX.

Tales

*

GoI Formats

  • Eco-Sabotage (S-67789) - [The Factory] "The as yet unidentified group represented by The Questioner has a history of conflict within Factory served markets." Written by torcsandantlers.
  • jacklyn diamandis, accountable to nobody - [Nobody] "So self-important. So utterly vain. She fits right into Jakarta's individualistic decadence." Written by UraniumEmpire.

Misc

Week of March 8th:

SCPs

  • 📈 SCP-5035 ("The Freedman") - This story is not at all about Alan Freed. Written by Doctor Dune.
  • 📈 SCP-5084 ("Crying Tomatoes") - What have you done to these poor tomatoes, stop1010? Look! Now, they're just crying and you can literaly filled up a bathtub with all their tears. I hope you're ashamed of yourself.
  • 📈 SCP-5065 ("Man of Many Mysteries") - No, this is not all-new M&M's, but with one more "M". It's not funny. Written by OuNoNakaNoOu.
  • 📈 SCP-5103 ("The Spiral's Axis") - Because spiral paths are not so fashion anymore. Written by Greyve.
  • 📈 SCP-5089 ("Don't Think About Me, I Won't Kill You") - I'm not here. It's simple. I mean… the deal is "you don't think about me, I won't kill you". So don't think I'm here. I'm not here. Don't think about me, think about others. Like Greyve, for example.
  • 📈 SCP-COOL-J ("A Really Cool Guy") - So, today, I met this guy, y'know, on Internet, and we had start to talk and, damn, he's the coolest guy I've ever met of my life, y'know? He knows plenty of video games and music albums and movies and I cannot stop talking with him, hell, he even told me about a library who had books about paranormal, that's so insane! Written by Mixomin.
  • 📈 SCP-5602 ("Why Did The SCP Cross The Road?") - Because walking is the only thing they can do if they want to go in some particular place. They can't drive, they don't have driving licenses. Written by Neuhaus.
  • SCP-5511 ("Who remembers you, when you are gone?") - My family. Some of my friends. Definitely. Yes… they will remember me. Aren't they? Written by Crashington.
  • SCP-5577 ("The Second Blacksmith") - D H A R M A. Written by DrHawkwind.
  • 📈 SCP-5533 ("You Think, Therefore I Am") - And because I am, it means I am here…. now. Written by Snapdragon133.
  • 📈 SCP-5210 ("The Goodest Boy") - This month, we had met too many "so cool" persons. I think the universe try to tell us something. Written by Norman Lennock Manne.
  • SCP-5544 ("Are You Sick of All the Stares?") - Yes. I mean, I hadn't made nothing but everything is staring at me and I don't know why and I just wish that they don't do that. Written by GerrymanderBassist.
  • SCP-5024 ("The Wandering Library") - What did you expect ? Written by Tanhony.

Tales

  • 📈 Dr. Wondertainment Goes Out With A Bang - ""Well…" The Simple Toymaker said, speaking to no one in particular as he was alone in his office. "I suppose I'll just go out with a bang."" Written by TheBlueHour.
  • 📈 What I Did On My Summer Vacation - "I'm pretty sure this is how Mr. Geoff sees himself, and we're now on the receiving end of all the "VON, TOO, ZREE, FOAH, VON, TOO, ZREE, FOAH" bullshit from the movie" Written by daveyoufool.
  • Australian Rules Drag Racing - "If motor sports were sexual partners I have had, drag racing would be my high school boyfriend, Glen Robertson, on prom night: disappointing, over far too fast, and one of the critical tipping points that pushed me from milquetoast bisexuality into full-on lesbianism." A new installment in the Speed Demon series, written by ch00bakka.
  • 📈 Audrey Fuchs - "It was calm like the eye of a hurricane, or pulled back beach before a tsunami. And I was waiting, at every moment, for that wave: the crash, the tumble, the ruckus and the explosion." A new installment for the What a Wonderful World and Those Twisted Pines canons, written by DarkStuff.
  • 📈 What Happens in Undervegas - Part 2: Crane Fly - "If it hadn’t been for the pure wickedness in her face and the way her lips would bend and curl like the horns on her head, there wouldn’t have been anything intimidating about the lady." A second installment for the all-new Undervegas series, written by Hellylessa.
  • 📈 A Poem for the Mekhanites - "Our joints slowly turn to rust / Marching ever forward / Our bones are ground into dust / Marching to our death." Written by TheCoolestBeans.

GoI Formats

  • 📈 LaRue Post - BANG! - [La Rue Macabre] "Anyway, I have a firework! 35$, obo." Written by MalyceGraves.

Misc

Week of March 15th:

SCPs

  • 📈 SCP-5125 ("Matriarch of the Birdmen") - This SCP is not the mother of Riggan Thomson. Written by PsychLantern.
  • 📈 SCP-5112 ("Roses are read") - Violets are blue. Books don't exist anymore. And flowers are screwed. Written by Mark Unread.
  • SCP-5908 ("Missing Bullets") - "Andrew Jackson has a score to settle. Yes, that Andrew Jackson." Written by DrAkimoto.
  • SCP-5501 ("Empty Portraits") - I believed there was a portrait in this framework. There wasn't? Written by MalyceGraves.
  • SCP-5710 ("The Bach-Werke-Verzeichnis") - The most anticipated and hyped music crossover of all-time. Written by Doctor Semmelman.
  • SCP-5711 ("Threat Level: MIDNIGHT") - Midnight. The perfect time for commit crimes. Especially temporal crimes. Especially if you're a Daevite. Written by HammerMaiden.
  • 📈 SCP-5207 ("Fit For A King") - Lifetime for a fool. Written by DrAkimoto.
  • 📈 SCP-4623 ("The Bard (Owl) of England") - And the owl made his entire travel in England, flying and singing and becoming a myth for all his listeners. But the owl wasn't totally happy with that. Written by barredowl.
  • 📈 SCP-5107 ("Jesus Christ Super Star") - You built me up with your wishing hell. I didn't have to sell you. Written by DrAkimoto.
  • SCP-5061 ("A Toast To Elizabeth Connors, A Brilliant Actress") - Ah, dear Tom, of course, I remember Elizabeth ! A dear friend, a wonderful actress that we had lost… probably my worst memory of the war. Written by Doctor Dune.
  • SCP-5660 ("Hot New Demons Looking For Holes In Popes Near You! You'll Never Believe This One Weird Sin!") - Let me be honest with you : this evening was a perfect one. But now that we are in your home… what do you think about a more intimate moment, babe ? Written by Popsioak.
  • 📈 SCP-5053 ("Anything but a stick in the mud") - Believe an expert : sticks can be your best allies if you're in mud fights. Written by Marcelles_Raynes.
  • SCP-5991 ("† Jesus Yums Me †") - Jesus became a hamster who yums you in a repeated manner ? None of my business. Written by Westrin.

Tales

  • 📈 The Vault of Lost Children - "She missed the taste of tea. Eight or nine months ago, they'd taken a wrong turn and ended up in a tea shop. It was one of Tsukiko's memories." A new installment for the End of Death canon, written by Tufto.
  • 📈 Tasteless Recreation of a Pollock - "Oh my god… dying doesn't make your work famous." Written by Alces_alces.
  • 📈 New World, Old Flames - "With its second level jutting out over the street far further than most building codes would have allowed, the woman had no trouble finding her destination." Written by Dyslexion.
  • 📈 The Supervisors - "A light April rain sprinkled down from the gray-blue sky above, poking and patting the top of his truck as he sat, parked in the driveway of his own home." A new installment for the What a Wonderful World and Those Twisted Pines canons, written by DarkStuff.
  • 📈 The Broken Incense Censer - "When the city began to burn, and he saw people running in a way they never ran, he felt a shiver of uncertainty. His parents had been members of a secret church, with hidden instruments of faith locked in obscure rooms, but they didn't have any answers - they just ran around in a different way, crying to their god to save them." Written by Tufto.
  • A Thorne Is Born - "For the final time, Florence Elsinger sat in the thaumaturgy gym and meditated. And while she meditated, she gathered her power." The final installment of The Phoenix, The Nightingale & The Magpies, written by GreenWolf.
  • 📈 SCP-DOTS - "SCP-DOTS is to be kept in a standard one-room one-bath apartment because she is lonely and just because she has enough money to buy a bigger house, she doesn’t. SCP-DOTS is to be provided chocolate and chewy candy because she’s a cannibal. Not really a cannibal, but her name is Candi." Written by DianaBerry.
  • 📈 Alternative Punishment - "You are forbidden from stepping foot onto territory controlled or monitored by the Foundation starting today. This includes outer space and parallel dimensions." Written by redredred.
  • 📈 Not Yet - "We ask trembling / Gazing upon the void / A hole in the vast sea of stars / Waiting." Written by Karnickel.
  • 📈 The Mekhanics of La Rue: Part One - "This man had a toothless smile and balding head, but the way he talked was more of a young man recounting his days of adventure. This appealed to the younger ones who knew nothing of this world." The first chapter of an all-new series, written by BlueJones.
  • A Fishbowl, Shattered - "We don’t have time for tears right now. Like I told you, you are going to make a very important choice very soon, so you need to pay attention. To make an incredibly long story short, everything is real." Written by DrDromeus.
  • 📈 A Good Actor Never Dies - "A little arson doesn't hurt anyone, right?" Written by Tropinano.
  • Fear The Deer - "When Elle Ives noticed the cracks coming through the concrete floor of the target range, her first thought was that Niles’ math was wrong. But Niles never got the math wrong." Written by AbsentmindedNihilist.
  • 📈 An Initial Report - "Rain, running down gutters, sliding from the rooftops down into the narrow street. First on the roofs of the tallest buildings, forming puddles to be seen by birds alone." A new installment on the What a Wonderful World canon, written by Wakawaaa.
  • Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground. - "The problem, of course, was time. He'd been able to keep himself busy. Keep his mind on other things. Forget the problems. But here he was, alone in his apartment, the power out. The world feeling like it was closing in on him. And worst of all, alone with his own thoughts." Written by Doctor Cimmerian.
  • 📈 Embarkation - "I only used it so we could contain the anomaly. So it need never be used again. You used it to kill innocent men." A new installment in the Coldest War canon, written by psul.

Week of March 22nd:

SCPs

  • SCP-4658 ("Control Kink") - An all-new meaning for the expression "control freak". Written by Roget.
  • 📈 SCP-5044 ("Insulation Repair: The Blood God Way") - All the janitors of the world hate that. Written by Erazm.
  • SCP-5239 ("My Parents Don't Understand Why I Raise The Dead") - But that's not a problem anymore, because they had moved on. They probably think that's an adolescent crisis or shit like that. Written by Cerastes.
  • 📈 SCP-5296 ("An Unbelievable Mistake") - Y'know, mistakes are subjective, when we think about that. Written by Tracque_.
  • SCP-5029 ("Here Lies the Heretic") - Yep, it seems that they escaped the damn firethrower. The Inquisition is pretty lame, today. Written by DrUnoriginal.
  • SCP-5114 ("Bureaucratic Warfare") - Do you know what is more harder and horrible than Call of Duty? Call of Duty, but in the open space of a building and only with yuppies. Written by H0dari.
  • SCP-5960 ("Webbey's Original Revitalizing Chunky Peanut Butter") - The only true Peanut Butter Jelly Time. Written by RockTeethMothEyes.
  • 📈 SCP-5151 ("Chivalry Never Dies") - War had changed, they say. Bollocks. Written by WhiteGuard.
  • 📈 SCP-5510 ("Work on What Has Been Spoiled") - "Waves, sand, sun, everything you need. Hot sand between my toes. Sand falling through my fingers. There's sand in my swimsuit too." Written by Pedantique.
  • 📈 SCP-5307 ("Double Donk Juice") - Because even heroes with donkey masks need to make money. Written by DrAkimoto.
  • 📈 SCP-4625 ("Oizys' Hope") - When veterans said that this war was useless, they are generally right. Written by IronDruid.
  • SCP-5940 ("ABSOLUTE TOOTH FIELD") - That's one small step for a man, but one giant leap for for those who live on our mouths. Written by A Random Day.
  • SCP-5832 ("Stained") - And it's been awhile since I could hold my head up high. Written by AbsentmindedNihilist.
  • 📈 SCP-4632 ("Would you know if you were dreaming right now?") - Lucid dreams are a thing. I know it's not so common, but it exists. What a question. Written by Doctor Windsor.
  • 📈 SCP-5878 ("The Void Stares Into You") - Because, obviously, they had nothing else to do. Written by Naveil.
  • 📈 SCP-5880 ("<span style="text-decoration: line-through;">Praise Unto the Glorious Influenza, the Great and Contagious</span> Religious Influenza") - And we had learn right now that 385 members of SAPPHIRE had heart attacks. Written by Greyve.
  • 📈 SCP-5325 ("The Last Train Home") - Spoiler: the final destination is not Busan. Written by Dr Moned.
  • 📈 SCP-5807 ("Pelicans Three") - And these three were not on a tree. Written by Magic8Ball04.
  • 📈 SCP-5170 ("A Piss-Poor Attempt to Commit Corporate Espionage") - I don't know if I should have pity for you or laugh at you. Written by DrUnoriginal.
  • 📈 SCP-5180 ("The Federation Awaits, Anomalous Apes") - Were Andy Serkis and Pierre Boulle right since the beginning ? Written by Trombus.
  • 📈 SCP-4614 ("Microscopic Brainwave Lucid Dream Induced Eating Tardigrades") - It's not so disgusting, when you're accustomed to that. Yes, that implies to eat a big shitload of these, but still. Written by xeonic.

Tales

  • 📈 Disillusionment - "That period of his life had lasted a mere six years, but it felt like an utter eternity to him. Dancing with women, and men, half his age whilst drinking himself into a stupor, desperately clinging to the days of the yester-years." A new installment for the Broken Masquerade canon, written by Cyvstvi13.
  • 📈 Seefood - "Normally, I'm more careful about when and where I do it, but I was absolutely ravenous. I hadn't had at a good meal in weeks and I was really craving steak. Tremors of hunger, unlike anything I'd felt before, erupted across my body like a stream of earthquakes." Written by Zero_Consistency.
  • 📈 We Stopped Making Socks (But What If We Made Something Better?) - "Lenny! Look at these new designs! So I was talkin' to the creatives, and they thought that since narwhal print was doing so well, they ought to make some of other horned animals too." A new installment in the What a Wonderful World canon, written by Ellie3.
  • A Bold Choice - "You know my standards, you know how I feel about things, even if you don't agree. But while you're saying I won't want any part in this, you're also trying to convince me to join you. What's the point?" Written by Calibri Bold.
  • Four Sides of the Same Imaginary Coin - "Test was undertaken as a component of CIA Collaborative Project "JALÜ", designed to serve as a power conduit by feeding off the brainwaves of higher-dimensional entities." Written by TheHouseOfBalloons.
  • Disconnect - "I do not know who you are that reads this. To list those who I feel might eventually set eyes on these pages would become strangely exclusionary to those that actually do that are inevitably not listed here, and so I will refrain." A new installment for the What a Wonderful World and Those Twisted Pines canons, written by DarkStuff.
  • A History of the Arcadia Logo - "Mr. Bushnell likes to say he created it, but really calling him the "founder" is all you need to say." Written by JackalRelated.
  • Alto Clef Jr.: Day of the Doorcrasher - "Dealing with full-on robots and androids can be more complicated. They emulate human eccentricities, and some of their programming is predictable, but they're not subject to the same physical limitations. They can be built with stronger frames, tougher muscles or faster reflexes. Maybe their CPU isn't in their cranium at all!" Written by Tsercele.
  • Serus - Because updates are gud. Still written by Roget, with now, the fancy artworks of UncertaintyCrossing.
  • Carnivores - "John and Bailey were seated at a table right in the middle of the restaurant. The couple stared at each other for a moment. Each looking for signals that everything was ok. Bailey was used to getting this look from John." A new installment for the End of Death canon, written by Captain Kirby.

GoI Formats

  • Serpent Bound \\\ BEAR WITNESS - [Serpent's Hand] "The Eschaton was the de-materialization of all guests to the Library, occurring after 1,143,837,925 Cycles, in midday. Since this time, no individual has entered the Library or attempted to contact the Head Librarian. As a result, twelve million loaned books are currently marked Overdue." Written by Nagiros.
  • 📈 SC-48/404-97/786 - [Chaos Insurgency] "When the beast is slain, and the deed is done, the hero will lie by the hearth of Hestia. Then what would a quest be without a home to return to?" Written by Ethagon.

Misc

  • Niram's Gallery - Hey, have you heard the news ? There's these paintings about Sarkics who will be shown in a few days. And the artist responsible for this will be present. I don't know their name… it's niram, I think.
  • YUANNN's Artwork Page - YUANNN is responsible for the sudden cat rain of today, but don't bother too much. All these cats and animals are pretty cute.
  • Department of Miscommunications Hub - The anomaly you had to deal with screws with language ? Call them, they are the people you need. Written by MaliceAforethought.
  • The Origin of Object Classes - A little essay about one of the Wiki' pillars : our dear Object Classes. New essay in the History of the Universe series, written by cooldude971.
  • AgentNightmares Artpage - NightmareCode is your name ? Well, I wasn't aware than cartoons were the new nightmares, these days, but if it's the new consensus…
  • The Toasty Guide to Mixed Sources - Mixed sources are not something you know well ? No worries, CityToast had written the essay you need !

JAMCON ENTRIES


Theme 2- Delicious!

Theme 3- More Than Meets The Eye!

Fanart

Here you will find a selection of artists whose art output is worth following. The thumbnails are clickable.


Niram's Gallery by niram

Ion Ascendantnir1.jpgThe Ozi̮rmoknir2.jpgA man and his Messiah
ᴀᴋᴀ Klavigar Nadox needs grief therapy
nir3.jpg


RTa's Artwork by RTA

SCP-8900-EX
Sky Blue Sky
rta1.jpg
Eve.aicrta2.jpgSCP-Scalerta3.jpg


Ofirg artwork by ofirg

SCP-060
Infernal Occult Skeleton
of1.jpg
every 001 proposalof2.jpgSCP-5999
This is Where I Died
of3.jpg


The Toymaker's Toy Shop by TheCynicalToymaker

SCP-1730's Writer on the Wallstoy1.jpgYaldabaothtoy2.jpgSCP-066
Eric's Toy
toy3.jpg


Aethris' Artworks by Aethris

SCP-4231
The Montauk House
aet1.jpg
SCP-3935
This Thing a Quiet Madness Made
aet2.jpg
SCP-5001
Sacrosanct
aet3.jpg


Matthew Burger's Art Page by Matthewburgerart

SCP-4205
In The Eyes of the
Beholder
🖳
mat1.jpg
SCP-5140
EVEREST
mat2.jpg
SCP-3608
The Living Dimension
mat3.jpg


Yuannn's Artwork Page by yuannn

SCP-3502
The Kangaroo Sign
yua1.jpg
SCP-3211
There is No Canon
yua2.jpg
SCP-805
Poison Wood Foal
yua3.jpg


corrupted_waifu's Instagram by corrupted_waifu

SCP-1903
Jackie's Secret
corrupted1.jpg
Dr. Icebergcorrupted2.jpgSCP-953
Polymorphic Humanoid
corrupted3.jpg


tacticoos's Amino Page by tacticoos

Finally we meettacticoos1.jpgFlaretacticoos2.jpgMTF Beta-7tacticoos3.jpg


Totally not a cognitohazard's Amino Page by Totally not a cognitohazard

Yaldaboth and Mekhanecognito1.jpgSCP-2935
O, Death
cognito2.jpg
SCP-060-Alpha
Infernal Occult Skeleton
cognito3.jpg




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