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News for July 2017

Welcome to this installment of site news, where we present only the hottest articles!

This is a series showing off news from the site, articles from the past month1, and fan-content for you to check out and discover! Be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

Featured Articles

Editor's Choice Articles

  • SCP-3087 ("The Owl-Car") - Round and round and round it goes. Where it goes, nobody knows… driven by ChubertChubert. Chubert has a knack for dialogue and for taking seemingly innocuous objects to a disturbing conclusion. The Owl-Car is no different, and complements its character work with fantastically unnerving imagery. A terrific article that should be read by anyone seeking to write an exploration log.
  • Project Proposals 1964-011/1974-014 - Some people make art for art's sake. Others make art for the sake of art. Documented by MoklinMoklin. In recent years, the GoI Are We Cool Yet? has received heavy criticism for a variety of reasons, chief among them being that their reasons for making art are beyond idiotic. This article is an utterly fantastic usage of the AWCY? GoI format that brings the group back to its ideal: art through anomalies. It explores two fantastically unique proposals, each with a distinct concept and voice, and combines them to form a consistent story with an interesting theme and a vivid sense of art. This article is not to be missed.
  • Hartliss Detective Agency - Hartliss's new case pits him against magical criminal syndicates and ancient flesh cults. Just another day in Chicago. Written by The Great HippoThe Great Hippo. A fantastic noir story dripping with style. The metaphors and the visuals are crunchy and vivid, the characters are pulpy without being trite, and the action is tense without being intense. Hartliss also combines two GoIs that could not be more different - the anomalous crime syndicate Chicago Spirit and the mystic flesh cult Sarkicism - and makes it work, amplifying their strengths without carrying over their weaknesses. This editor gives it two mutant thumbs up.

Event Featured Articles

The theme for the month of July was uncontained!

  • In SCP-2531 ("The Pumpkin Man"), by Jonathan WhitneyJonathan Whitney, there was something much worse than a worm in this fruit…
  • In SCP-1879 ("Indoor Salesman"), by azzlefluxazzleflux, a salesman refused to let the Foundation keep him from his job…
  • And in SCP-2872 ("A Fast Horse"), by FreudianFreudian, a horse was a horse of course but who rode was even more important…

Rest of the News

  • Posting has begun for the Social Media Art Contest! Posting will go from July 30 to August 30. Follow the link for the rules on submitting an entry!

Missing out on articles? Enjoy a recap on the articles from the past month.

Week of July 1st:

Game on!


  • SCP-ROCKS-J ("A Pile Of Rocks That Need To Shut The Hell Up") - Talking rocks. Enough said. Written by PentonPenton.
  • SCP-3535 ("Casus Lignum") - Review of surveillance footage shows that all key personnel involved with monitoring and maintaining the plumbing system and SCP-3535 had unknowingly been affected by its leaves. Written by RogetRoget.
  • SCP-3357 ("Practice Makes Perfect") - Perfectionism is more damaging than this anomaly could ever be. Written by rioludoodlerioludoodle.
  • SCP-3878 ("Words Will Never Hurt Me") - SCP-3878 is a semantic weapon developed by the Obskuracorps in 1938, derived from the study of anomalous conceptual objects retrieved from the Thule Society's expeditions into the multiverse. Written by TaffetaTaffeta.
  • SCP-8851-J ("Super Cheap Procedures") - Not even the Foundation is immune to budget cuts. Written by SpookyPizzaSpookyPizza.
  • SCP-3995 ("Some Pretty Fishy Swimming Trunks") - What if your swimwear wanted to eat you? Written by RegularSlamboRegularSlambo.
  • SCP-3046 ("Hallucinogenic") - The structures appear to be what once was an alien metropolis, with structures resembling churches and vast expanses of housing and farmland. Written by NekromykonNekromykon.
  • SCP-3602 ("The Monkey King's Legacy") - Perhaps we were better off being unintelligent. Written by Modern_ErasmusModern_Erasmus.
  • SCP-3726 ("AnthropomorFic") - Write it your way. Written by FlawedFlawed.
  • SCP-3088 ("Law Of The Land") - What would you do if your word became law? The right thing? Or for the right reasons? Written by MortosMortos.
  • SCP-3057 ("Fossil Fuels") - SCP-3057 is an anomalous phenomenon by which crude oil spontaneously transforms into instances of prehistoric species. Written by The Great HippoThe Great Hippo.
  • SCP-3325 ("Live Entertainment") - Cartoons become real… and that's when things really go wrong. Animated by xFoxxFox.
  • SCP-3444 ("She Took The Midnight Train Going Anywhere…") - Final destination - your broken dreams. Tickets checked by TuftoTufto.
  • SCP-3933 ("Storm of Steel") - Though a man's hands may love a woman, plow a farm, and raise a family, they will still remember the grip of the rifle. Written by Rosa BraunRosa Braun.



Author's Pages

Week of July 8th:



  • SCP-3939 ("The World is My Canvas") - Its primary anomaly of note is the entity's tremendous and consistent speed of approximately 9500 kilometres per hour. How it achieves this speed is entirely unknown, as is the method by which it avoids damaging nearby objects, life forms or terrain when traveling. Painted by bittermixinbittermixin.
  • SCP-3443 ("Placeholder") - There has always been nothing of note here. Written by ProfessorAdonisCnutProfessorAdonisCnut.
  • SCP-3553 ("They All Go Into the Dark") - Don't turn out the lights. Written by TuftoTufto.
  • SCP-2576 ("Joseph and the Technicolor Dream Goat") - I taste blood and steel. YOU ARE UNDER ATTACK. (Pauses) But I will go lie down, as I desire to rest for a short time. Written by djkaktusdjkaktus.
  • SCP-2639 ("Video Game Violence") - Mom was right when she said nothing good could come of playing violent video games… The Great HippoThe Great Hippo will rot your brains.
  • SCP-3140 ("Botanical Warfare") - TIMBERRRRRRR! Planted by 9Volt9Volt.
  • SCP-3501 ("The Storyteller of Isfahan") - I am a new superstition entering the unassailable fortress of forever. Told by TuftoTufto.
  • SCP-3773 ("9,000 Lives") - The default 'form' of SCP-3773-# instances seems to be a chimeric mixture of all genetic information currently present in SCP-3773; fur will often appear to be in a patchwork pattern, eye colors are often heterochromatic, and in some cases, several tails, all functional, can appear. Written by IhpIhp.
  • SCP-3513 ("The brain that ate itself") - Looks like something's eating away at you. What's in your mind? Written by psulpsul.
  • SCP-3612 ("The Mainlist is Out of Order; Please Try Again") - Ever wondered why we don't number SCPs sequentially? GeometryPrimeGeometryPrime has the answer.
  • SCP-3963 ("I Contain Multitudes") - You don't want to know where this rabbit hole goes. Written by ShaggydredlocksShaggydredlocks.
  • SCP-2783 ("Silent Lamentations of a Clockwork Goddess") - A machine mind that gave his life to protect his builders, just as the Machine Goddess before him. There will always be a place in Paradise for those who gave of themselves as he did. Written by Agent MacLeodAgent MacLeod.
  • SCP-3235 ("The Baba-disease") - Within 72 hours of infection, tumorous growths will form on infected subjects1, including inside bodily cavities. Tissues comprising these growths are genetically identical to that of Migs Babache, a civilian of the city of [REDACTED]. Written by xFoxxFox.
  • SCP-3979 ("Will You Walk Into My Parlor?") - The powerful will always prey on the weak, no matter how much the weak struggle. The fly does not wish to enter the parlour, so the parlour comes to him. Woven by TuftoTufto.


  • The Battle of the Toys: Defense of Hive Skittles - The Fortress-Monastery of the Inward Halo chapter stood proud, in its corner of Hive Skittles, known to the locals as Blocksville. The Space Marines of the revered chapter regularly interacted with the town populace, a callback to their hallowed lineage to the Salamanders of old. Written by Sad XiaoSad Xiao.

GoI Formats

Author's Pages

Week of July 15th:

Hello blackness my old friend…


  • SCP-3959 ("The End of All Knowledge") - Knowledge is power. The Foundation has been rendered powerless. Written by TheBillithTheBillith.
  • SCP-3702 ("I Walk Through The Desert, And I Have No Name") - I walk through endless sands, without food, water, or tongue. None shall help me. Written by DrBleepDrBleep.
  • SCP-287 ("Clark's Third Favorite Sword") - Whosoever holds this sword, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor! Wielded by DrMagnusDrMagnus.
  • SCP-3864 ("I've Been Framed!") - Dorian Grey wishes he had this painting. Written by taylor_itkintaylor_itkin.
  • SCP-3071 ("To Deny Sense") - The Beast is upon you. Written by NekromykonNekromykon.
  • SCP-3051 ("Revenge of the Human Rights Lobbyists") - Is that what you think we're doing? Turning people into puppets with magic compulsion? We're a human rights NGO, not a bad horror film. Written by Modern_ErasmusModern_Erasmus.
  • SCP-41-D3N7E-J ("Lotsa Pasta") - Ravioli, ravioli, please shut up and leave me alone-i. Written by trennerdiostrennerdios.
  • SCP-3470 ("Harry Potter's Revenge") - It prowls the woods. It craves human flesh. And its engine is rated at over 900 cc. Driven by A Random DayA Random Day.
  • SCP-3574 ("Lambs to the Slaughter") - They are the problem. We are the solution. You are the lamb executioner. Written by xFoxxFox.
  • SCP-3478 ("A human shaped hole to the meat dimension") - It's easier to warp spacetime than it is to make bug spray. Written by Lex1nat0rLex1nat0r.
  • SCP-3049 ("To Make an Apple Pie from Scratch") - The Universe began with nothing, and will end with a delicious fruit-based pastry. Baked by rioludoodlerioludoodle.
  • SCP-3272 ("Light") - "I'm not one of them, I am art, they are monsters I am beautiful. You are terrible." Written by EcronosEcronos.
  • SCP-2694 ("These Old Bones") - SCP-2694 is an animated mass of objects currently in the shape of a Basset Hound (Canis lupus familiaris). The body is primarily composed of parts of stuffed animals, chew toys and children's toys. Written by BlarothBlaroth.


GOI Formats

Author's Pages

Week of July 22nd:



  • SCP-3666 ("Repairing the Mask") - How far will the Foundation go to ensure containment? Written by SpookyPizzaSpookyPizza.
  • SCP-????-J ("Some fucking thing in a box") - The thing is locked tighter than Clef's butthole. Sealed by TheBillithTheBillith.
  • SCP-930-J ("You little rascal!") - SCP-930-J is a cute little ball of assorted tentacles and mouths, isn't it? I named it Daniel! Written by DecibellesDecibelles.
  • SCP-3059 ("Infictious Self-Insert") - Once a book has absorbed enough of SCP-3059, Sam Micheals will appear within the text, with their importance within the text being dependent on how much of SCP-3059 the text was able to absorb. Written by VaraxousVaraxous.
  • SCP-3252 ("The Permian-Triassic Extinction Event") - As far as the Foundation can determine, this period of time did not exist. Excavated by RookierookieRookierookie.
  • SCP-3722 ("The City That Was Half the World") - Beginning at sunrise, and finishing at sunset, the entire structure and layout of the city metamorphosises into a near-identical copy of itself from an earlier point in its history. Written by TuftoTufto.
  • SCP-3839 ("Liposlugtion: 2 Fat 2 Furious") - FEED ME. Written by WerylliumWeryllium.
  • SCP-3313 ("Poor Richard") - Benjamin Franklin's anomalous penis. Enough said. Written by Doctor CimmerianDoctor Cimmerian.
  • SCP-437 ("Summer of '91") - If you put your ear up to the bark, you can hear them scream. Written by The Great HippoThe Great Hippo.
  • SCP-3056 ("Fireflu") - SCP-3056 was discovered in ██/██/1998, following several accounts regarding "fire-breathing humans" in [REDACTED], Japan. Written by RigenRigen.
  • SCP-3070 ("Highly Unusual Attempts at Solar Conquest") - A species that adapts to new environments is a species that survives. Even if the environments are asteroids. Written by 9Volt9Volt.
  • SCP-3560 ("All Robots go to Limbo") - As it turns out, there's a robot purgatory. And they want to share it with you. Written by Jacob ConwellJacob Conwell.
  • SCP-3737 ("Rainbow Bridge") - Your pet didn't go to the farm. It went here. Written by PecanPecan.
  • SCP-3418 ("Devourer of Flames") - In contrast to the comprehensive cell death in all other tissues, the central nervous system of SCP-3418-1 remain alive and fully functional despite lack of oxygen and vital nutrients, and is capable of surviving indefinitely. Written by AnboroughAnborough.
  • SCP-3097 ("A Game of Fetch") - When you give a dog a bone… Thrown by PentonPenton.
  • SCP-3338 ("Otamatone wants to be your roommate~") - Hey, at least they pay their rent on time. Written by ZynZyn.
  • SCP-3635 ("The Forgotten Archive") - Not me, you twat, the other me. That me lived off the farm since we were born. I don't think I ever gone more than a few miles from it. Written by YossiLeinerYossiLeiner.


GOI Formats


Author's Pages

Fandom Stuff

  • So much KaktusKast!
  • In Episode 24: ArtKast, host djkaktusdjkaktus sits down with three of the wiki's most popular artists to talk shop and rank the admins on sexiness; in Episode 25: 3000Kast, he sits down with JorethJoreth and A Random DayA Random Day to talk about the SCP-3000 contest, Anantashesha, and the structural integrity of his butthole; and in Episode 26: Chubertkast he sits down with the eponymous ChubertChubert to discuss critical analysis and Poopstick McGee! You can listen to and download all the podcasts from [], and be sure to send in questions for Kaktus and his guests to answer with this easy-to-use contact form!
  • The Social Commentary Podcast is out, with two (2) episodes about the social aspect of the wiki and its community! In the first one, host ghostchibighostchibi sits down with TuomeyTuomey to discuss the community's sordid history, and in the second, sits down with LordStonefishLordStonefish to discuss the wiki his articles!
  • Critical Procedures is finally out, with two spicy episodes of Foundation site members playing a role-playing game in the vein of The Adventure Zone! In the first episode, we meet the gang as they clash with an undead deer; and in the second, the gang investigates a mysterious mine connected to a disappearing horse statue!


Thanks for tuning in again, folks! If you're unsatisfied with the blurb(s) provided for the article(s) you wrote, feel free to change it. Of course, you could just avoid that problem entirely by sending A Random DayA Random Day a blurb for your article. We may or may not use it (if we can think of something more attention-getting, though we can try to stick with one you give us) but we'd really would just like them in order to make the process easier for making these. This is a community thing, and we want authors to give their blurbs to sell these articles much easier. It reduces the workload we have to do, and helps the news come out that much earlier!

News for December 2016
News for November 2016
News for October 2016
News for September 2016
News for August 2016
News for July 2016
News for June 2016
News for May 2016
News for April 2016
News for March 2016
News for February 2016
News for January 2016

Frequent Collaborators:

Special Thanks To:

  • djkaktusdjkaktus (Making the code on this page look and load much easier!)


Q: Can I replace a blurb that you wrote for one of my articles with my own? I'm not satisfied with it.

A: Absolutely. You will always have that option at any point.

Q: I noticed an error/typo/incorrect information and wish to correct it. May I?

A: Sure! If the changes are not limited to your own article(s) and/or are substantial changes across multiple entries, you should post in that month's discussion page and then make the changes.

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