Canon Mass Orientation Tool
In Character: New administrative staff with sufficient security clearance may use this tool to more efficiently familiarize themselves with the information in the SCP database. For security and data-integrity purposes, this form of access is read-only.
Out of character: It's a tool that makes it easier to go on an archive binge. You can use the Canon Mass Orientation Tool a lot or you can just be a CMOT Dabbler, it's totally up to you.
Item #: SCP-1300
Object Class: Safe
Special Containment Procedures: Object is to be contained within a 5m x 5m x 5m containment chamber. Access is denied to personnel below Level 3 clearance. SCP-1300 is only to be used for research purposes.
If consenting terminal cancer patients are used as subjects, they are to be administered Class-A amnesiacs upon the successful completion of the experiment (or if they choose not to participate at any point). Victims of an unsuccessful operation are to be incinerated. If the next of kin requests the deceased's body, a cover story is to be fabricated justifying the incineration of the corpse. The ashes may then be released to the next of kin.
No change in procedure should be required if D-Class personnel are used.
Description: SCP-1300 is an old dentist's chair. The chair itself is quite unremarkable; SCP-1300's anomalous properties originate from the hydraulics column underneath it, normally used to control the height of the chair. To date, all attempts to open the column have been met with failure.
When a human subject settles into the chair, four mechanical arms with blunted heads emerge from the column base and hover over the body of the subject, "scanning" them through unknown means. Locations on the stomach and the neck appear to be preferred by SCP-1300, although the exact location widely varies between individual subjects. Upon finding a suitable location, each arm's head releases a number of surgical instruments, including lasers, needles, and tubes. The subject is administered a local anesthetic and a paralytic agent. It is unknown how SCP-1300 restocks its pharmaceuticals, but given its method of operation, the conversion of [REDACTED] the likeliest source. See Addendum 1 for more details.
After the subject is immobilized, the arms create small incisions near the injection sites and insert a number of tubes inside. The tubes are guided through the subject's body to any foreign objects located within. These include transplanted organs, malign or benign tumors, lodged objects, pacemakers and deep-brain stimulators, and false teeth. It is unknown how SCP-1300 determines which objects are foreign to the subject's body. Analysis of trace substances left over by SCP-1300 reveals the presence of several types of chemical scissors (such as nucleases and ligases), which could reasonably be used to [REDACTED], singling out foreign bodies through deduction. SCP-1300 does not consider objects smaller than approximately 500 micrometers.
Upon reaching a foreign object, SCP-1300 will pump an unknown enzyme through the tubes, dissolving the object. The resulting liquid is then drawn back through the tube into SCP-1300; the liquid appears to be inert and nontoxic. Upon removing all identified foreign objects, another fluid agent is pumped inside which repairs damaged organs, or assumes the shape and function of missing ones. [REDACTED], though no exact match has been found in any database. After finishing the process, the tubes retract, and the incisions are closed with surgical lasers. Following the completion of the operation, the arms shut and retreat inside the hydraulics column. The operation is reported to be painless, but some subjects find the paralytic agent and the sensation of the tubes inside their body to be highly unpleasant.
While highly effective at treating most kinds of cancers and many kinds of physical trauma, SCP-1300 is unable to cure bacterial or viral infections. Due to its lack of object resolution below 500 micrometers, some cancerous cells may remain in a subject, leaving a chance for later re-emergence. In addition, the tissue repair and replacement technique is imperfect, sometimes resulting in malformed but partially functional organs, and rarely in malformed and dysfunctional ones. SCP-1300 will not repair organs which it has already repaired or replaced itself. Following [DATA EXPUNGED], all testing with brain-damaged subjects is prohibited.
Addendum 1: SCP-1300 will unpredictably undergo a change in functionality (henceforth referred to as beta-state) immediately following the administration of the paralytic agent. A very small amount of modified dissolving enzyme is injected, causing a destructive chain reaction which renders internal organs into a semi-viscous substance similar to that observed during regular operation. The resulting slurry is siphoned back inside SCP-1300, replaced at approximately the same rate by a foul-smelling red liquid composed of disorganized organic molecules.
The paralytic agent prevents the subject from moving, speaking, or changing their facial expression; an increase in ocular, cardiac, and respiratory activity indicates that the subject is conscious of SCP-1300's activity. As the chain reaction occurs too rapidly to be stopped by any available means - invariably ending in death - and beta-state appears to be intentional and possibly essential to the device's continued operation, it is recommended that the subject be administered a dose of barbiturates to induce a coma until expiration. Depending on the subject's size, beta-state may last up to 5 minutes. In █ cases, subject's body burst upon being over-filled with the beta-state biomatter.
It is difficult to predict when SCP-1300 will enter beta-state. Some correlation between the difficulty of the preceding operation(s) with the time until beta-state activation has been observed. In one case, following six (6) wide-spread T4 tumor operations requiring multiple organs to be repaired or replaced, SCP-1300 was presented with a dismembered subject on life support. SCP-1300 attempted to replace the missing limbs, as expected. 15 minutes into the operation, however, SCP-1300 ceased functioning. After 5 minutes, it entered beta-state and consumed the subject's organs.
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Something to remember about ideas for new site tools, no matter how neat or useful they might seem:
So don't be like me. Ask a mod first, then try to implement it.
Also, anyone who wants to is free to use the above image.