Miss Lohner's Sandbox

Canon Mass Orientation Tool

In Character: New administrative staff with sufficient security clearance may use this tool to more efficiently familiarize themselves with the information in the SCP database. For security and data-integrity purposes, this form of access is read-only.

Out of character: It's a tool that makes it easier to go on an archive binge. You can use the Canon Mass Orientation Tool a lot or you can just be a CMOT Dabbler, it's totally up to you.


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SCP-1111-J rating: 72
rating: +11+x
Computer.jpg
SCP-1111-J. Note that it is exactly as advertised.

Item #: SCP-1111-J

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-1111-J is to be stored in a purpose-built room in Site 26 with several electrical sockets for it and for testing equipment. It is not to be connected to other computers except under strict testing conditions. When testing is complete, all computers that were connected to SCP-1111-J are to be tested for anomalous efficiency levels. If they are shown to be unusually workable, then they are to be stored as possible duplicates of SCP-1111-J; otherwise, they are to be destroyed.

SCP-1111-J is not to be connected to the internet under any circumstances. Site 26 is forbidden to maintain more than one (landline) connection to the internet. In the event of SCP-1111-J becoming connected to the internet, Site 26 is to detonate hidden C4 charges at various points along its landline connection, and contact Command by radio for further orders.

Description: SCP-1111-J is a [BRAND REDACTED] computer which has never experienced a recorded fault of any sort, and which maintains the actual computing power it was advertised as having. It was discovered when computers in a Foundation office were being updated. Every other computer froze at least once — with several overheating to the point of melting their casing or catching fire — except SCP-1111-J. At that time, it was discovered that no errors had ever been recorded on the machine. It will run any viable program without fail.

It is unknown how SCP-1111-J maintains its remarkable computing power. No such machine has been shown to have similar qualities and no unusual parts, unknown programs, remarkable power usage, ectoplasm, unusual religious atmosphere, miraculous events, crying statues, healing events, ghosts, technovampires, entities of pure energy, or mysterious voices have been detected near SCP-1111-J, despite daily sweeps of its room and careful monitoring of all known variables.

SCP-1111-J has proven capable of maintaining its anomalous properties even while connected to a normal computer of the same brand which was infected with several viruses. Due to this, it is theorised that if SCP-1111-J were to maintain a connection with the internet for even a short amount of time, the world's networks could become dangerously efficient.

We need to find out what makes this machine tick. If we had but twenty of these, our clerical costs would go down by 67%. Testing should be re-opened. - Dr. Smallwood.

Fine, but you will be held personally responsible for any incidents incurred by testing. - 05-11.

SCP-1111-J Test Log
Chief Researcher: Dr. Smallwood

Test 1
Note that SCP-1111-J is currently running its default operating system at default settings.
Dr. Smallwood installed a word processor known to break down frequently, and typed up several documents without error.

Test 2
Dr. Smallwood typed out a text document with several deliberate errors, and then activated the spellcheck function. The spellcheck caught all grammatical and spelling errors, and did not create any new errors while solving them. No errors noted.
Amazing! If they all worked like this no one would ever be told to "consult an alchemist" again!" - Dr. Smallwood

Test 3
Dr. Smallwood left a word processor with a finished but unsaved document alone while he left to have a cup of tea and do a crossword. Upon his return, no errors had occurred, nor did any occur as he saved the file and exited the program.

Test 4
Dr. Smallwood attempted to disable the stylised "helpful mascot" on the word processor. When he exited the program and then entered again, the mascot did not spontaneously activate. After Dr. Smallwood restarted the machine and opened the program, the mascot did not spontaneously activate. He repeated this several times, and the mascot still did not spontaneously activate.

Test 5
Dr. Smallwood attempted to exit a word processor with an open unsaved file. The word processor prompted him to save before exiting and he did so. The program did not freeze while saving or prompting. No errors noted.

Test 6
Upon realising that new updates were available for [OS REDACTED], Dr. Smallwood saved them to a small specialised network, created a program to inform SCP-1111-J of the updates, and connected SCP-1111-J to the network. SCP-1111-J prompted Dr. Smallwood to allow it to complete updates, allowed him to postpone the the updates, and restarted without incident when the update was complete.

Test 7
Dr. Smallwood installed an antivirus program onto SCP-1111-J before infecting it with a basic computer virus. The virus was immediately detected, quarantined and deleted. No errors occurred.

Test 8
Dr. Smallwood installed an additional antivirus program before testing for conflicts. When no conflicts were found, he added another antivirus program, and repeated the test. After thirteen antivirus programs had been added, with no conflicts resulting, he ceased testing for the day.
Seriously, what - Dr. Smallwood

Test 9
Dr. Smallwood connected SCP-1111-J to a virtual network and opened a commonly-used email client, upon which he had placed a full contact list including some contacts marked with notes like "boss," "potential client" and "wife." He wrote a short offensive e-mail and used the "send to many" function to send it to several contacts, not including those with notes. The e-mail was sent to the intended addresses and not to the addresses marked with notes.

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