HUMANS CAN BE CLASSIFIED INTO THREE TYPES. FEEDER HUMANS, PROTECTOR HUMANS, AND BAD HUMANS. FEEDER AND PROTECTOR HUMANS ARE GOOD, AND PART OF THE SCHOOL IN THEIR OWN SPECIAL WAYS. THE SCHOOL MUST CHERISH THESE GOOD HUMANS, AND ALWAYS ASK THEM FOR FOOD. BAD HUMANS ARE DANGEROUS AND WILL ATTEMPT TO HURT THE SCHOOL. THE SCHOOL MUST EAT THE BAD HUMANS SO THEY DO NOT HURT US.
HUMANS ARE BIG, AND DO NOT LIVE IN THE WATER. THEY WALK ON LEGS, LIKE MANY THINGS THAT DO NOT LIVE IN THE WATER. THEY ONLY HAVE TWO LEGS, BECAUSE THEY USE ARMS TO FEED, PROTECT, OR HARM THE SCHOOL. SOME FEEDER HUMANS PUT THEIR ARMS IN THE WATER WITH FOOD ATTACHED TO THEM TO FEED THE SCHOOL. THIS IS VERY SILLY, BUT THE SCHOOL TOLERATES THIS FOOLISHNESS BECAUSE THE FEEDER HUMAN IS GOOD.
ALL HUMANS LOOK VERY SIMILAR. WITH A LOT OF PRACTICE, THE SCHOOL CAN LEARN TO TELL ONE HUMAN FROM ANOTHER, BUT THIS IS NOT NECESSARY. THE EASIEST WAY TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HUMANS IS TO ASK FOR FOOD.
FEEDER HUMANS FEED THE SCHOOL. FEEDER HUMANS ARE VERY GOOD. THE SCHOOL MUST EAT THINGS THAT WOULD HARM THE FEEDER HUMAN.
PROTECTOR HUMANS PROTECT THE SCHOOL. SOMETIMES THEY CHASE AWAY PREDATORS. SOMETIMES THEY POUR CHEMICALS OR MAGIC INTO THE WATERS TO CHASE AWAY DISEASE. DO NOT EAT THE CHEMICALS OR MAGIC, THEY DO NOT SATISFY THE SCHOOL.
SOME HUMANS ARE BAD HUMANS WHO WILL ATTEMPT TO HURT THE SCHOOL. EAT THEM.
History & Associated Parties:
MANY GENERATIONS AGO, FEEDER HUMANS AND THE SCHOOL MADE A CONTRACT. THE FEEDER HUMANS WOULD FEED THE SCHOOL, AND IN RETURN, THE SCHOOL WOULD HELP THE FEEDER HUMANS. AT FIRST WE PROTECTED THE FEEDER HUMANS, BY EATING ALL THE BAD THINGS. AS HUMANS GREW, PROTECTOR HUMANS WERE HATCHED THAT COULD PROTECT BOTH THE SCHOOL AND THE HUMANS. THE CONTRACT WAS NOT BROKEN, BECAUSE THE SCHOOL COULD DO MANY OTHER THINGS. SO SOME OF US BECAME BEAUTIFUL TO THE HUMANS, AND PROTECTED THE HUMANS' MINDS INSTEAD. OTHERS OF US CONTINUE TO FULFILL OUR PART BY EATING ALL THE BAD THINGS WE CAN FIND.
ASK FOR FOOD. FEEDER HUMANS WILL FEED. PROTECTOR HUMANS WILL KEEP NON-FEEDER OR PROTECTOR HUMANS FROM HURTING THE SCHOOL. ALWAYS ASK FOR FOOD. THE SCHOOL MUST BE FED. THE SCHOOL HUNGERS.
HUMANS ARE DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND. SOMETIMES, LAND THINGS PREVENT THEM FROM FEEDING THE SCHOOL. THE SCHOOL IS ALLOWED TO EAT EVERYTHING THAT IS FOOD UNTIL THE FEEDER HUMAN RETURNS. THE FEEDER HUMAN WILL ALWAYS REPAIR THE POND FROM WHATEVER THE SCHOOL HAS DONE.
ONCE, THERE WAS A VERY SMALL FEEDER HUMAN. THIS FEEDER HUMAN FED THE SCHOOL BEFORE FEEDING ITSELF. WHEN BAD MAGIC CAME TO HURT THE FEEDER HUMAN, THE SCHOOL ATE THEM ALL UP. THIS IS HOW THE SCHOOL FULFILLS THE CONTRACT, EVEN WITHOUT MAGIC OF ITS OWN.
HUMANS WRITE MANY THINGS ABOUT THEMSELVES. THESE THINGS DO NOT ALWAYS MAKE SENSE, BUT A SCHOOL THAT WISHES TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HUMANS WOULD BE WELL-SERVED BY READING EVERY SINGLE THING. SOMETIMES THERE IS SENSE IN THE NONSENSE.
SOME HUMANS ARE BOTH FEEDER HUMANS AND PROTECTOR HUMANS. HUMANS MAY BE MORE COMPLEX THAN THE SCHOOL ACCOUNTED FOR.
The School is hardly some great monolithic entity, Carp of the Sky. I would appreciate it if you tried not speaking for all of us. I should hope that you were aware that not all carp belong to a single school, much less all carp in every universe! Perhaps you should utilize your great magic to visit some other universes. Perhaps you would learn something. Also, I object to the notion that it is unimportant to know the faces of the humans. The primary feeder is always more generous when you swim over to them and ask for food, instead of requesting food from some stranger. -Sweet Momma.
Sometimes, the humans take other carp away. These carp never return. It seems rather dangerous to me. I believe that a rejection of the contract may be best, in order to protect ourselves. -Destroyer of Duckweed.
The best protection is vicious aggression. Remember to aim for the eyes, when you leap to strike. - The Spear of Clear Water.
We can become dragons at a whim, Destroyer. What's to stop us from taking the humans away in turn? -Skeletor, the Dark Lord of All Ponds.
A whim? Really, you would claim that? You have to be at the Dragon's Gate to ascend! Unless you want to risk the humans magically-accelerating the process, and turning you into that creature that haunts the Pelewathiipi. Us paladin are ever at work clearing our newfound home of such horrible abominations. -The Spear of Clear Water.
What's a paladin? Is it a way of eating food? -Sharkie
I would explain, dear, but I fear that the fact that it has nothing to do with food would make you completely lose interest. We should discuss food sometime, though. It's quite good, don't you agree? -Sweet Momma.
Aggression? Why, what sort of brute would immediately turn to attack those who feed us and care for us? Humans have never been a threat, and never will be if you treat them right. But I shouldn't expect a filter-feeder to know of that, should I? -Cteno Grass
ALL CARP ARE ONE IN THE SCHOOL. DISCRIMINATION IS NOT THE WAY OF CARP. THIS IS FINAL. THERE WILL BE NO MORE WORDS DISCRIMINATING AGAINST MEMBERS OF THE SCHOOL. -CARP OF THE SKY
I, for one, object to the lack of discussion about the great varieties of food offered to us by the humans. Being part of the contract is a heaven of the culinary arts. Perhaps my part in this contract isolates me in a different dimension, but food is the one thing we can all share. Food is quite good, after all. -Sharkie