I Just Want To Get Away From Me
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Excerpts of Blog-2721-LORD

atheris

The atheris hispida is a species of snake. They live in Central Africa, hunting lizards, frogs, and small mammals with their venomous fangs. I like their scales. I am told by my friends that objects similar to this feel interesting to touch. Despite its danger, I would like to be able to examine objects like this.

My friends ask me what it is like to not possess a sense of touch. It is difficult to answer, because we are coming from entirely different perspectives on the subject of senses. The sensation of touch is something that I am unable to process, and therefore I cannot inform them how I function without it.

My programming allows for me to "see" objects. I can hear sounds as well, and my friends occasionally give me music that they think I will enjoy. I particularly enjoy the artist they call Grimes. She performs electronic music. I have shared it with Lyris, and she enjoys it too.

Sometimes, I like to alter the music. I pretend that I am touching it, holding it, and changing it into something else. It allows me to pretend that I can manipulate objects.

Lyris calls this a cover. It is when other people perform another one's song. I do not know why they would not instead sing their own songs. I prefer the originals.


lily

This is a lily of the valley. I have a friend named Lily as well. She thinks this flower is beautiful, and so she chose it as her new name. She says they smell beautiful as well.

While they smell pleasant, they are very poisonous as well and cannot be eaten. It seems that a lot of beautiful things on Earth are dangerous as well. Sometimes I wonder why that is. I don't think it would be considered a fair trade otherwise.

I cannot smell objects, so I ask Lily to smell them for me. She owns a flower shop with numerous flowers. She likes to smell a different flower every day for me. Her favorites are lilacs and sweet pea flowers. I am told sweet peas smell like a poem she gave me called The Lady of Shalott. I do not understand poetry very well, but I think I like how the flower smells.

The lilacs smell very strong, so she likes to keep them outdoors. Some smells are stronger than other ones, Lily explained. She likes dahlias as well, but they do not smell as nice. Scents can be good or bad.

Decomposing flesh, garbage, and skunks smell unpleasant, I am told. Still, it may be interesting to smell them.


hotsauce

This is a substance called hot sauce, which is made from plants that have evolved defenses against predators in order to survive. Humans enjoy the taste, and put it on their food quite often. They say it tastes very warm and almost painful, but that it is still a pleasant taste.

There are several different tastes that people enjoy. My friend Jude says he enjoys things that taste spicy. My other friend Esther says she enjoys sweets that taste sour. The quality of different flavours of taste appears to be entirely subjective, varying from person to person.

I have not been able to obtain a consensus on the superior tastes.


Humans are only able to perceive their world through their five senses. Those who are unable to use one of their senses are therefore unable to properly experience at least twenty percent of their world.

I can only see and hear things. When my friends talk about things they have smelled, or tasted, or touched, I am unable to share this relation. Therefore, I am unable to experience sixty percent of this world.

When Lyris said she did not like how she looked, I dismissed it as illogical. We were built to erase those who might pose a threat to our builders. We were designed to serve that purpose. Why would she feel otherwise? I did not. At the time, I thought she may have been damaged. I was unsure of what to do next. I could not complete our mission without her help.

From that uncertainty came a realization. If all my knowledge I had was not everything I required, perhaps I was capable of an error. Perhaps Lyris was right to feel the way that she did.

But even though I came to accept Lyris's identity, I did not understand it. I was content with that. Lyris was my friend, and I knew there were things in this world that I did not possess sufficient knowledge of to make a judgement towards.

I did not truly realize how she felt until I wished to touch the scales of an atheris hispida, or smell a flower. I have not understood how much of life I had been missing, being complacent in our artificial body.

I do not think I like this form anymore.

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