Guide to Newbies

Dr. Clef's Guide For Newbies

Or, how to make sure that your stay in the SCP Foundation is a fun and prosperous one

So there's been an influx of new users lately, and that's cool. New blood is always good, and so are new bodies, new organs, new bones, and new skin. The only problem is, sometimes all that new flesh doesn't really include the proper kind of new mind, which is the most important thing.

It's not that newbs are automatically stupid, really. It's just that over time, this site has built up a culture of its own, and newbs stand out because they don't understand that culture yet. Too many times, we get a bright-eyed, bushy tailed youngster run in, start excitedly doing cool things, and then get shouted down by the higher ups for being "dumb." I'm guilty of that myself. But it still makes me a bit sad to see those youthful dreams crushed under my boots… no it doesn't, what's the word that's the opposite of sad again? Happy. That's it.

Still, that sort of thing's not good for the community, and it's certainly not good for me, since a steady diet of crushing the dreams of new users is high in salt and causes high blood pressure, stress, and depression. So in the interests of keeping things real, and making sure that everyone is happier in the long run, I'm presenting a few quick rules for newbs to follow if you want to prosper and be happy on this site.

• Join the chat Seriously. Do it Nao. Most of the real conversations take place there, as well as the majority of the socializing and the discussion. If you have an idea you want to run by an established user, you can do it there. If you need some help setting up a page, do it there. Hell, just go there and say hi first, and people will tend to like you better if and when you write your first article.
  • And read the Chat Guide as well, so that you don't come across as a moron or get banned.
• Read the fucking manual. Or, in our case, the How to Write an SCP Page. The WHOLE thing. And do what it says. This also includes reading this list of SCP ideas that have been done to death and back. One other place you might want to go is the Decommissioned SCPs List. This is a list of SCP articles that were violently rejected by the established user base for various reasons: read them and learn, my young apprentice, about the kinds of articles that are not welcome here.
• Do not sass the mods. Or the admins, for that matter. Anyone whose name is under Administration or Moderation on this here list is generally an established user with experience writing good articles. If a mod is being deliberately rude or mean, call them on it, by all means, but too often we've got people coming in and mouthing off to established users who are only trying to help, and wind up with kickbans.
• Don't post works in progress on the forums. It clogs up the forums, including the New Posts page, which some of us use to navigate the site quickly. Here is a quick guide to making a sandbox page.
  • Look to the left side of the page. Find the little box labeled "Add a New Page."
  • Type in a name for a sandbox page, something like, "Clef's Sandbox."
  • Press the New Page button.
  • Copypasta your work in progress into the text box and click save.
  • Go to your sandbox's discussion page and say, "Here is my work in progress, please critique."
  • When you're done using it, clear the contents until the next time you need to use the sandbox.
  • Or go to the new Practice Area, I just set up for such a thing. Same rules apply - Prof. K. P. Crow
  • Or don't make a sandbox, because you don't -really- need one, and you can come bounce ideas off in chat - Dox

• There are literally hundreds of articles on this wiki. It is a sure bet that any new ideas you have have either been done before, or something close to it. Use the search function to check and see if we already have your idea here. It's not a bad thing to use an idea that has already been done, you just need to give it a unique spin.
• Ideas for site tools should be run by an admin or a mod before being implemented. Preferably they should only be implemented BY an admin or mod. This is to stop the site from being broken and going all wahoonie shaped.
• Don't make a member page until you've got at least three well-received SCP articles. And when you do, remember that self-deprecating humor is better received than Mary Sue power fantasies.
• DO NOT COME IN AND IMMEDIATELY START BITCHING I am sick and tired of complete newcomers showing up and immediately complaining about this that and the other thing. Stop it.
• Final Rule: Don't be a Dick. Wil Wheaton said it, so it must be true.

Dr. Gears' Notes

Tips on how to be a member in good standing of The Foundation

• Announce your SCP in the Announcement thread or I will destroy all that you love and hold dear, even if you leave the wiki. This is a pet peeve of mine, and immediately puts me on a bad footing with a new entry. If i have to hunt through the recent edits to dig out a new SCP, it makes me think you have something to hide, and makes me comb over it with a more harsh eye. If you announce it, it shows a level of confidence and willingness to accept comments. If you make people dig, they are more likely to bury you.
• Don't rush to contribute. This is a big one. If you have a great SCP idea, wonderful, give it a try. However, just because we are a writing community does not mean you must write, we welcome fans, editors, and insightful commentators as well. Also, the SCP entry format is not always everyone's cup of tea. The detached tone and format can be very hard to do correctly. Luckily, we have a large Library, Creepy Pasta section, and other areas where more emotional and story-length ideas can be played out. Don't feel as if you MUST make all your ideas in to SCP entries. The Foundation universe is large, and lots of things may happen in it that never get recorded in full scale SCP entries.
• Be aware of editing "levels" This is very, very important, and if you have never been a part of a active wiki community, this is a BIG one to keep in mind. Minor edits, such as basic spelling or grammar, can be carried out in most cases with little/no involvement from the entry's author. Major edits, such as changing a item's class, alterations of whole sentences/paragraphs, or changing pictures should ALWAYS be run by the entry owner first. If you are unable to contact the owner, get hold of one of the mods or admins, and ask them, that is why they are there. I know it can seem a tad anal-retentive of us, but this way we can keep the nasty surprise of logging in to find your entry "wrecked" to a bare minimum.

A word from Prof. K. P. Crow

Tips regarding ideas on articles.

• Joke SCPs A good joke SCP should be first and foremost, funny. Not a reference or a homage to anything, though references can be funny if done right, with a flair of originality. Other wise, aim for funny, not a reference.
• Dr. Bright Adds: Doubling up on Kain for this one, if only to make sure people understand the importance of this one. Jokes are Funny. Writing up Harry Potter as an SCP? Not so much (unless done right.) Also, Joke SCPs are not failed regular SCPs.

Dr. Bright Presents: How to Join The SCP

So, apparently there has been some issues regarding the application process. The only place you need to go to join is here. Follow all the steps. Seems rather simple, yes? Well, I do need to make a couple points clear:

• All Questions Must Be Answered: This should be an obvious one, but seriously, answer all the questions. They do serve a purpose.
• Consider This A Job Interview: You are trying to impress us. (I use the term us, but really, it's just me.) You want to join our site. This application is a forum through which you can sell us why we need you around. That said, when answering the question, punctuation, capitalization, and the ability to completely explain the idea, are recommended.
• The Questions Are Serious: Okay, granted, some of them aren't, (and it'll be obvious which ones aren't) BUT the point is, we want a real answer to any questions asked. So, if, for instance, the question is "What is the purpose of [DATA EXPUNGED], a good answer would not be "Why, because of [REDACTED]" We really want to know your answer to these questions, not something cute and snarky/quippy.
• What To Do If I'm Denied: Well, it does depend on HOW you're denied. If you get a Private Message from me via wikidot, I'll likely be telling you what you can do to fix things. Mostly, I'll point you over to this guide, and tell you to find where you fucked up, because I like people to be able to show some degree of smarts. If your application wasn't up to snuff, The PM will tell you to wait until the questions change, and then try again. If I find you to be not what we're looking for, (for example, if you come across as bat shit insane) you should get a message from Wikidot notification, telling you so.
• Whether you are approved, or declined, you WILL be notified. If you have not been notified either way, something went wrong in your application process, and you should contact me to find out what it is. If you have any problems with the application, contact me. If you happen to be a lovely young lady, over the age of 18, with nude photos, DEFINITELY contact me. But, the point I'm trying to get across here is that I am approachable, and not some big scary ogre. If you have issues, about the application, or about the site in general, talk to me, I can help.

The Senior Staff and You

A Guide on How to Deal

All right, so, I've noticed, a lot of newbies don't really get the Senior Staff. We're the ones who either help run the site, or have been around long enough that we're worth listening to. However, we're also some rather hard people to get along with if you don't know us. So, to help the Newbs, I'm presenting a guide on who we are, and how to handle us. You're welcome.

PS: Yes, there is humor here. However, these are also pretty damn accurate descriptions of us all, so don't be surpised. We warned you.

Admins: These are the guys who run the site. They're the ones who approve people to join, and layeth down the ban hammer when someone gets out of control. They keep this site running, and we love them for it. LOVE THEM!

• The Administrator: The man who created the site. Isn't around much, he generally only pops in once every couple of months to make sure we haven't destroyed the place. Don't worry about interacting with him, you won't.
• Clef: Genre savvy and enigamtic, Clef is our resident bad ass. Rumor has it, Clef has no penis, just another hand, holding a gun. Very active in quality control, Clef may come off brusque, but he only has the good of the site in mind. Clef is also the newest to join the admins, so kiss up to him if that's your thing.
  • Clef here. Bright is a fucking liar. Don't kiss up to me, that's the best way for me to decide you're a fucking worthless brownnoser and decide to tear you a new asshole. The best way for us to get along is twofold. First, don't be a dick. Second, do good work. As long as you follow those two rules, we'll get along just fine.
  • Oh, and don't call me genre-savvy and enigmatic.
  • But you're so genre-savvy and enigmatic! - Dox

• Fritzwillie: MIA
• Far2: MIA
• Gears: A generally awesome guy. As may be evident by the name, Gears is our resident steampunk expert. Has a fairly high tolerance for newbies, and is fairly easy going. Just don't piss him off. Of the three active Admins, Gears would be the neutral one.
• Kain Pathos Crow: Kain is our lawful good guy on the admin team. Very receptive to newbies, generally kind hearted, and slow to anger. No kind of push over, but he's a lot more even tempered than a lot of us. If you have an issue with a mod or a fellow Researcher, Kain's the one voted 'most likely to care.'
• Bright: Hey, that's me! I'm an crotchety old man, who enjoys things the way they are. Change frightens me. I'm a bit of a perv, so beware. I'm also not afraid to tell it like it is, and if I don't like your shit you'll know it. Also, I've been voted "Most Likely To Dislike Your SCP." Also, I'm an Admin now. On the sliding scale, I'm probably chaotic neutral. I'm also the guy who's taken charge of the Application process.
• Snorlison: Another one of the nicer guys. Snorli goes back and forth with availability, but if you can catch him, he's easy to talk to and work with.
• Paradox: Aka Glass, he's the now retired chat channel owner. Dox is a benevolent overlord, fondly regarding his creation. Even tempered and generally polite, if Dox is tearing you a new one, you know you've done something wrong. One of the nice guys.

• While I try to be generally nice, I have a low tolerance for stupid, and when it comes to the actual SCP articles I'm a self-declared purist. Do some fact checking on your science, or I'll bite you! - Doxy

Mods: Mods handle the day to day stuff on the site. Whether sitting around in chat, helping newbies with their questions/discussing d&d, or deleting the most recent -8 voted SCP piece of shit, the mods help keep the site alive. The Admins may be the sites heart, but we're the immune system.

• Kraito: MIA
• Masipag: MIA
• Fat Ghost: Our laid back friend from the wilds of Canadia. Dox's successor as channel owner, and chat god. Tends to use the term 'son' a lot, so don't get offended. Our resident Metric God. Use Metric, or he shall smite thee mightily with the Hiker. Very mellow, eh?
• Iceberg: Okay, y'know how I said I'm a bit of a perv? Ice here is a full on perv. Ladies, he will flirt with you, but just shoot him down, with a RPG if need be, and he'll get the message. Our least used mod, he's got something to prove, so why not send some issues his way?
• Rights: Our first female Researcher who dared to admit it. Very motherly, and always willing to lend a hand. Rights has a good head on her shoulders for creepy. She's in the process of having a baby. Congratulations!
• Ekzentric Lohner: One of the new mods, not much is known about her. She IS really good at both constructive criticism and the creation of tools to actually be used on the wiki.
• Waxx: New Guy on the block. A good fella, also one of the DMs for the Fieldwork game.
• Gerald: New guy. Smart. Kind of a punk.
• Fishmonger: A very nice man. He is always helpful and never a hassle to anyone. Ask him any question and he will be happy to answer it for you. Will also provide additional photos of SCP-808 upon request, and will Simonize your car for a very reasonable fee.
  • God damn it, see, this is why I don't let you guys write your own. Fish is a gigantic asshole, and loves to argue, no matter the topic. He's also a damned fine writer, and I recommend anyone who wants to write in canon fiction read his stuff. -Bright
• Sophia Light: Well educated and constructive in her criticisms. Hangs around a lot in chat and Active Duty. Kinda hot. Do with this information what you will.

Senior Staff: These are just the people who have been around a while, and have some clue what they're doing. Feel free to listen to their advice, or seek them out for Mentoring.

• Agent Kramer: Damn she's hot. Oh, wait, more constructive? Kramer knows a good SCP when she sees one.
• Kulzn: Another of our resident assholes, but he does know what he's doing. Give him a listen, eh? He's also a Brit! That's kinda cool, right? Currently MIA

Chat Mods: That's right, we have a chat! And, with a constant influx of new meat, we've had to post up Chat mods, to keep things flowing smoothly.

• Break: She's got a nasty temper, a gun, and a job as the SCP secretary. Don't piss her off. She's also a tsundere.
  • Not that nasty of a temper, I assure you. I'm more likely to welcome a newcomer than I am to shoot them. - Break
• Clockwork Mage: New guy on the shift, a nice enough fellow. None too shabby at the writing end.
• Heiden: Newest chat mod, one of the nice guys. Wow, we're really moving away from the random asshole mods, aren't we?