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After the description of the pets, there's some stuff about a cult trying to create death chimeras, an interview that elucidates nothing, and an addendum that implies that the cult is trying to create human chimeras (I think?). I am not going to review any of these because I think that they are detrimental to the article.

The stuff about Gothic death cults especially comes out of nowhere and is comprised of mostly extraneous detail (e.g. how they're made). The one thing that I did like about the Gothic death cult was that they screwed up and made adorable house pets for the elderly rather than civilization-ending demons. I think that if you're planning to continue with this article, focusing on the thwarted plans of the death cult that would be the way to go (although the stuff about human chimeras can be safely jettisoned).

On the whole, however, this isn't ready for posting. It's a mishmash of disparate parts that fail to cohere or leave any kind of lasting impression.

Re: Invisible pets by GaffneyGaffney, 25 Apr 2017 12:33

Were any of you guys able to relate to my apartment entry at one point when you were younger? The entry is based on a classic childhood fear.

Apartment Entry by brandonfavebrandonfave, 25 Apr 2017 12:28
Re: Deleted Entry by brandonfavebrandonfave, 25 Apr 2017 12:26

I am now gonna make this my desktop background

Re: Scorpion451's SCP Art by Snipes88Snipes88, 25 Apr 2017 12:20
GaffneyGaffney 25 Apr 2017 12:08
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » SCP-1267

This didn't really do anything for me. There's not much there there beyond some mildly disturbing imagery. -1

by GaffneyGaffney, 25 Apr 2017 12:08

Action. Tactics. Inter- and intra-organizational politics. This is the kind of material I like reading (and that I'd like to produce myself)

Personally, I thought the dialogue situation was handled pretty decently. A large percentage of it taking place is communications on a professional radio channel, and in that situation speech does have to be "flat". Compare to the clinical tone used in SCP documents; the intention is to communicate as clearly and unambiguously as possible (especially critical in combat operations) so sticking to a standard speaking method set of terms is important.
While some readers might consider it dull, I found that aspect (as well as some of the other jargon peppered throughout) to give a bit more authentic flavour to the operation. And the off-the-comms lines that the characters do get did well enough to give them more dimension as characters (by my standards in that department, low as they might be).

I think I spotted a couple small grammar/sentence issues, and spelling mistakes (one or two places with 'peaked' in place of 'peeked'?), but this is still a +1 in my books.

by Boogey_Man23Boogey_Man23, 25 Apr 2017 11:20

Good - and I was thinking about what happens if you drink it. This thing was initially envisioned with a compulsion effect, actually.

Beginning deletion vote at -10.

If you are not the author and you want to rewrite this article, you may reply to this post asking for the opportunity to do so. Please obtain permission from the author (or the Rewrite Team if this article is older than 6 months) and make sure you copy the page source to your sandbox. Please do not reply to this post for any other reason unless you are staff.


The SCP Wiki is a spook.

Staff Post - Deletion Vote by LilyFlowerLilyFlower, 25 Apr 2017 11:08

Look, I was gonna go easy on you and not to hurt your feelings
But I'm only going to get this one chance
Something's wrong, I can feel it
Just a feeling I've got, like something's about to happen, but I don't know what
If that means, what I think it means, we're in trouble, big trouble,
And if he is as bananas as you say, I'm not taking any chances

+1

by TomatointheMirrorTomatointheMirror, 25 Apr 2017 11:07

Guess it's just too easy and pleasing to click downvote, but annoying and tiring to explain why one does that if it's not about laughable wording and childish idea.

Remember, no-one here has to explain their down, up, or non-vote. Plenty of articles have non/up-votes that aren't explained, either (can you imagine if every single person who upvoted SCP-173 who knew about it from Containment Breach or Markiplier decided to post just that?). People scanning through these articles, be they members or not, are reading for pleasure more than the advancement of the author - they may not have time or the inclination (or hell, even know about the discussion page!) to explain themselves, even if it would be helpful to the author.

It is why we have the forums, and the IRC chat, and why people are encouraged to use them before posting, and also if their article is badly received. I give feedback in the forums fairly often, but even I will rarely do much more than post 'next time, please post this in the sandbox (link) and take it to the forums (link) for feedback first' when it comes to downvoted articles, unless I feel particularly passionate and don't have things waiting feedback elsewhere. A lot of people also don't realise that feedback is in fact saved when an article is deleted, and don't want their line-by-line breakdown of someone's article to be trashed, when it isn't. New authors are often also unaware of the discussion page, and also unaware that this potentially helpful feedback is saved on-site, so to them, it sometimes doesn't register.

Not having a go at you, I understand how it can be annoying as both the author and the reader, but just saying in general that there's things people don't consider when it comes to articles.

by Zachary MaxwellZachary Maxwell, 25 Apr 2017 10:38

Feedback was provided in the thread of the critiques forum. It's a good thing that you actually asked feedback before posting, but it doesn't look like it changed a lot. Is there a reason for that?

EDIT: Looking back at it, it doesn't look like anything has been changed. Not even 'anesthetics' instead of 'amnestics' has been corrected. In that case, I'll redirect you to the thread mentioned earlier for feedback.

by LeveritasLeveritas, 25 Apr 2017 10:37

Don't forget to save that. This article being deleted doesn't mean that it's crappy. I've kinda enjoyed it, but I'm the one that consumes idea because english is not my strong side, so maybe the main problem here is lack of clinical tone and explanations. Probably more researches of this anomaly could also make it better overall. Idea itself is a bit cliche, but why judge that.

By the way, I don't think it can be considered "Safe" if its behavior is stopped by monitoring, not taking into account that it's not guaranted that monitoring is enough.

Fun fact: Terrible articles get tons of negative feedback, even some useful advices that won't be taken anyway. And here you only have a bag of silent minuses with lone assist from a NEUTRAL guy. Guess it's just too easy and pleasing to click downvote, but annoying and tiring to explain why one does that if it's not about laughable wording and childish idea.

by LawenardLawenard, 25 Apr 2017 10:31

Getting back to the topic at hand, can you give an example of what you mean? I think I get what you're trying to say, but I don't know exactly what you're trying to achieve, and I'd like to help as best as I can rather than just guessing :3

ETA - It's worth noting that often SCP articles work best if you think of the story you want to tell (or at least the effect you want) with the item being secondary. Some people do find object then story comes naturally, at least for some articles even if not all the time, but listing 'something that does something unusual' is relatively easy yet rarely works as an SCP object basis concept. Like, I could say… I dunno, a vivarium that transports you into the desert when you adjust the temperature above 33.3 Celsius, and that's weird, and doesn't happen IRL, but it has no story attached to it, so it's currently not much more than sticking two ideas together, if you get my drift.

And I can't edit this page either

Re: Ideas for my first SCP by JGS1JGS1, 25 Apr 2017 09:56

EDIT: This is just what it need it, i'll be keeping a close eye on this as it progresses.

+1

More? Yes please! by quickpityingquickpitying, 25 Apr 2017 09:39

The idea is quite interesting, but I feel like you present your information a lot more clearly as I'm still not 100% sure I understand it.
For example:

SCP-XXXX-1's exact effects are unknown, but it is theorized to be capable of memetically drawing human subjects into SCP-XXXX when viewed.

Where does this theory come from? It doesn't seem to be mentioned at all in the rest of the document? Your containment procedures mention memetic-medical screening too but again, there's very little mention of any actual memetic effects that I could see.

There's very little description of what SCP-XXXX itself actually is, which is kind of a big thing to miss out from the description. I would probably separate the room from the projection system and give a few more details on the projector. Something like:

SCP-XXXX is a holographic projection system designed to simulate the experience of driving in a number of environments.

You can then go on to explain how its effects encompass the entire room that its placed in. Same with your entity, you describe what she looks like it great detail, but don't explain what she actually does at any point, beyond the implication of some memetic effect.

A few other small points:

SCP-XXXX is to be stored in its original place of relocation in its room at Site-45.

This reads a little oddly to me. I would just say it's stored in its original testing chamber or something along those lines. Maybe "to be stored in its original testing chamber until a way of moving it can be determined."

The projection system is currently in a state of disrepair which disables it from being controlled.

I would say "which prevents it from being controlled."

SCP-XXXX's holograms are capable of interfering with physical, tangible properties such as gravity and blunt force.

I'd replace "blunt force" with "momentum" here.

Hope this helps.

Re: 🅳🆁🅸🆅🅴 by MortosMortos, 25 Apr 2017 09:25

Nothing weird ever happened on Wednesdays. There wasn’t much that happened on the other days of the week around there either, but on Wednesdays in particular it was always absolutely quiet.

Wednesdays, a UIU tale deleted at -13 and three staff votes.

Hello,

I am Mrremig, i am happy to be part of this communitie.
I am intrested in the paranormal and love the lore that is writen on this site.
This communitie seams to be a fun place and i am exited to start writing about some things that are flying through my mind.
My hobby's are reading and playing a game once in a while.
Right now i have vacation so… no school yea….
That means i have the time to learn about this place and you people.
I hope whe can get to know each other and make fun and intresting lore.

Thank you for reading.

Ps. I am bad at langeages in general and i am not english.
So please bear with my writing.

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