in discussion Writing Help / Help: Ideas Critique » Idea Critique - [Seeking Greenlight]
I am having issues resuming it but I'll get there XD
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in discussion Writing Help / Help: Ideas Critique » Idea Critique - [Seeking Greenlight]
in discussion Writing Help / Help: Ideas Critique » SCP-6336 proposal (Smoking Kills)
I don't think you have enough in terms of central narrative here. All you're doing right now is detailing the scp, whereas what we really need in that section is why we'll care about this scp article and how you intend to achieve that.
Is your article focused around the emotional impact of losing a loved one to smoking or about dying knowing that your choices made you leave your loved ones behind early?
Or is your article about something else entirely? Horror? Comedy? Satire? Right now I'm not getting any of that. Please take some time to think about this and edit your pitch accordingly.
in discussion Writing Help / Help: Ideas Critique » Idea Critique - [Seeking Greenlight]
I think the problem I'm having is to understand what narrative pitch is… If someone could explain to me what is that i need to write to be more understandable. I am not a native speaker so some terms are hard to get if I can't find it in a Google search…. Sorry in advance
in discussion Writing Help / Help: Ideas Critique » Scp-XXXX, sapient pixel art
You have your pixel fox with well defined abilities and such, and then a narrative that has nothing to do with them at all. This bit about viruses and superchips comes out of nowhere- why is this super important item in an SCP?
Ah sorry about that, i left that bit out. Actually the virus is the main antagonist of the game, it has an obsession with getting free from the game to enact total destruction on the world. In this case, it broke free after a technical issue happened at site 19.
And as for the chip, it is the main weapon used to defeat the virus in the game. But since this is now real life the Dr, Sally, and Rutter (the fox) need to find it and bring the chip outside the game to plug it into a site supercomputer.
When did this girl get in there and why haven't they tried to get her out before?
Well, actually the girl (i assume you’re talking about Sally) is actually a character within the game but she isn’t playable nor has she ever been seen before. It’s believed that she’s exploring the “Farlands” inside the game, a place where meaning has no meaning and physical objects within the game go nuts. Why she’s exploring this place? She wants to get out of the game, the farlands also act as a portal between the real world and the game.
What actual role does the SCP itself play in this story, because it feels like a background character?
Yes I guess you are mostly correct it definitely feels like a background character. I need to make him seem less like a background character and more like a main character. Which is the subplot, Story B. Which mainly focuses on him repairing his and Sally‘s friendship. More will be explained in a future revision.
I don't really feel like anything original or unique is being done here, and the fact that your Dr. wasn't terminated immediately after leaking the Foundation's location to the world and risking a lifted veil scenario is just too hard for me to buy.
You are correct. I definitely need to change that to something a little more calm. Like him maybe nearly causing a containment breach. That doesn’t result in termination right? I mean he NEARLY causes one. NEARLY.
All in all, this article needs serious improvement and revision.
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » SCP-3999
oh wow. just wow.
i know this post is old and the author has long since left this community, but i'm writing this and listening to "Sunday" and i feel like i'm going to cry. what a beautiful swan song.
in discussion Writing Help / Help: Ideas Critique » Society of Thought People [Seeking Greenlights]
Seeking Greenlights: Yes
Page Type: SCP Article
Elevator Pitch: A society of sapient memetic beings that are contained to a structure made up entirely of human neural tissue extending out from a central column topped with a human brain. The structure transforms animal tissue that comes in contact with it into additional neural tissue. Sections of tissue added this way to the structure degrade later on.
The entities and their effects can only be transferred through spoken word from the host. It is also possible to communicate with these beings in a way through the monitoring of electrical activity throughout the structure using electrodes connected to a computer. The entities are non-hostile and quite amiable as long as the volume of the structure is regularly maintained.
Central Narrative: The narrative will focus on interviews with the beings contained inside the SCP. We learn that they came into being inside the mind of a young man who had somehow contracted several of these memetic beings inside of their mind. They became companions inside of the host's brain and lead to the creation of more memetic beings inside of the mind. The entities are quite knowledgeable about their nature and help to prevent others from contracting them. However, the developing community of entities has negatively affected the host's health, weakening them. As the host is destined to die, they look to prevent the disappearance of the entities inside their mind after their death. This causes them to perform a ritual sacrificing their life and sense of self to preserve their brain indefinitely for the entities to exist inside.
Hook/Attention-Grabber: I believe that the idea of a group of purely memetic entities existing in a society is a nice attention-grabber. As well I have wondered how you keep a being that is essentially a concept contained to one location, and the idea of a brain being molded to serve as a city for such beings felt interesting. I also want to put some focus on a person sacrificing themselves for a group that may not exist in the same terms we do ourselves, but they believe still deserves a way of living into the future.
Additional Notes: I would appreciate any comments on the tone of this narrative and any suggestions on if the nature of the entities as beings of thought and concepts could be worded better.
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » jimmyboyhaha art (real) (not fake)
this rocks
in discussion Writing Help / Help: Ideas Critique » Anomalous Ancient Battlefield [Seeking Greenlights]
The anomaly is that, whenever a conflict takes place on the ground of the battlefield, an anomalous solar phenomenon creates an area of intense heat; however, the heat only affects one side of the conflict. The "subsequent incidents" are other times that there's been a conflict on the same spot, activating the anomaly.
I thought I had written that in the original post; apparently I forgot to. Editing the original post to clarify.
in discussion Writing Help / Help: Ideas Critique » Seeking Green Light
Also, am I correct in assuming you need a green light to start a sandbox? I am not sure how to have someone look at a draft.
Should be enough for a +1
in discussion Writing Help / Help: Ideas Critique » SCP Concept - What Do Caterpillars Dream?
Hello!
Okay, right off the bat, this sounds like a great idea. It’s very unique and has a nice twist on reality bending. I really like how there’s a vector for the dreams to project themselves from (i.e. the discs). Leaving it as a cliffhanger does allow you to possibly develop a tale as well, or even just leave it as is for the sake of imagination. I can’t greenlight yet, but I would really like to see how this develops.
Doc R
in discussion Writing Help / Help: Ideas Critique » Idea Critique - [Seeking Greenlight]
Hey there!
So, I like and am totally on board with the idea of having a Tolkien inspired reality. You can really make some fascinating scenery and creatures with that. However, going off what others have said thus far, I would like to see the central narrative and conflict drawn out a bit more, especially regarding the “weave”.
Hope this helps!
Doc R
-1. I feel like there's the glimmer of something potentially interesting here, but the clunky writing made it difficult to read at times. The article felt very much like a Series I SCP in how it was both written and how it played out. I'm not saying this is an inherently bad thing, as there's been some amazing SCPs that emulate the style of Series I, but this article doesn't play with that in the same way those articles do. As well, the ending falls flat for me. It feels like a cheap grab at some sense of horror, something also present in Series I (cough SCP-359 cough). It also feels like there's supposed to be some big twist or whatever at the end, but then that's taken away from us by the [REDACTED] at the end there.
If this gets deleted, I highly suggest to the author that they take the time to read some more modern SCPs to get a feel for what our standard of quality has become since Series I, flesh out a narrative for this article, and get some crit on it before reposting. As well, I'd recommend reading over some of the writing guides we have on our Comprehensive Guide Hub, especially the redactions guide by MalyceGraves.
top writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes and writes.
in discussion Writing Help / Help: Ideas Critique » Idea Critique - [Seeking Greenlight]
It's an interesting SCP idea, but I'd like to see your central narrative pitch more fleshed out before I can consider greenlighting it.
I have no words to describe my delight. I'd give this three more upvotes for that alone, if I could.
disclaimer:everything here is my opinion.
in discussion Writing Help / Help: Ideas Critique » The One Who is Many (Seeking Greenlights)
No full drafts in the forums please — if you wish to share a draft, please share a link to your sandbox: http://scp-sandbox-3.wikidot.com instead. Additionally, this is the Ideas Critique forum, please do not share a link to your sandbox unless a reviewer asks to see it. ~cybersqyd
in discussion Site Announcements and Proposals / Introductions » AUGUST 2021 INTROS - Writers
Hellooo, I made an account on here last year to write an SCP but I made the mistake of posting the draft on the wrong forum and then posted it again on the right one but I was banned for spamming. ;-; Anyway, I hope to publish that SCP very soon and make my contribution to this awesome website with my new and improved account. :)
I don't know if I understand the article, so let me drop my thoughts and maybe someone can help clarify this for me?
So… this designation was reserved for after the Broken Masquerade, and the purpose of it is to let a Make-A-Wish Kid become a "Fan SCP", right? That's the implied story?
I guess it doesn't grip me like it seems to have gripped everyone else.
I really like the subtle underlying story though, if I'm right about it.
in discussion Site Announcements and Proposals / Introductions » AUGUST 2021 INTROS - Writers
[Please delete this reply mods]
page revision: 15, last edited: 01 Mar 2021 03:25
