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Author, did you mean to post this in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum, since you don't have a draft? If so, then I highly recommend doing so (please follow the guidelines for that forum) because what you have here is pretty shaky.

Fundamentally, this seems to be a fairly generic "thing that does a thing" formulaic premise, typically referred to as a generic magic object. These items, while popular 8-10 years ago, tend to be received poorly on the site because of lack of depth/low memorability and usually are better suited to the log of anomalous items than a full SCP article.

Also, since you had a full-ish looking draft thing, please remember to only use metric measurements (no inches) since the Foundation is a professional scientific organization. Also, capitalize Foundation when using it as a proper noun, and it's O5 Council not 05 (though the top dogs of the Foundation really wouldn't be called in to approve testing for stuff like this; they have way more important things to do). And many more small errors. Remember that most successful SCP authors have at least some college-level writing experience, since clinical tone is typically covered in college. If you haven’t encountered clinical tone or writing analytical essays in school yet, it can be hard to write an article meant to sound like the work of a professional scientist. For some self-study, consider these college resources for clinical tone:

As a last note… stuff like this:

After D subject test resulted in said D subject's disfigurement and death, all personnel are reminded not to throw object at other personnel. Failure to follow this guideline will lead to immediate questioning and demotion or termination.

will result in near-immediate downvotes. Foundation personnel should know better than to throw anomalous objects at eachother, and termination for behavioral issues is a waste of difficult-to-replace professional staff. Anything that makes the Foundation look stupid or otherwise incompetent breaks suspension of disbelief for most readers.

Re: SCP idea: Distortion Marble by ZynZyn, 20 Sep 2018 07:35

Okay, took a look at this since it was currently the oldest thread with no replies. I'll be honest, when I first took a look at this, my immediate reaction was "this is way, way longer than it needs to be". For example:

For me, the main issue with this is that it's a pretty generic monster-maker and the writing is too bloated to make the read interesting enough to salvage that. We already have the amulet thing that makes flesh beasts, and this thing also making the resulting monsters [DATA EXPUNGED] people just seems kind of cliche and predictable. I recommend reading over this guide on interesting expungment for some tips on when to redact information meaningfully, and a few other things:

Typically, an SCP object's effect forcing someone to do something tends to be a bit of a lame narrative, since things are more interesting if there's a struggle involved, and/or if the people instead do terrible things of their own volition rather than just because the author needs them to for the story to work. What you have here is a pretty predictable and often-seen "makes people go crazy hostile/rage state for seemingly no reason and kill people, also for no reason" effect. The "continuously mashing the top volume button" (although… "mashing" might be too casual of a term for a professional document) bit seems a little funny juxtaposed with that, but again… not quite enough to save the work for me. Consider reading through the further discussion on the narrative issues of compulsion and addiction effects.

I do think there might be the beginnings of a good article here, since the effects for this do wear off, but there's too much emphasis on the "beatings, maiming, disembowelment, dismemberment, and, in cases with human subjects, brutal [DATA EXPUNGED]" typical horror approach (and the aforementioned stats spam) to hold my interest. I admittedly stopped reading before I got to the collapsibles, especially since uncollapsing those more than doubled the wordcount of the draft and what you had was already super-wordy.

I recommend getting the base idea polished up in the Ideas and Brainstorming forum before you try fixing the draft. Go to that forum, post a quick summary of the concept you want to write up (don't link the draft unless someone asks), and reviewers there can help you make the idea more interesting and give you some advice on which parts to focus on, and what can be trimmed out so as not to lose the attention of the audience.

Re: Feeling unsure about first SCP by ZynZyn, 20 Sep 2018 07:27

How bout SCP-682? I would love to see your interaptation of it. Thanks.

Don't take Aspirin with hydra venom in it. Trust me.

Re: Observation Monograph by DunkindonutDunkindonut, 20 Sep 2018 07:25

For the record, if you are using a friend's idea, please ask them to create a wikidot account and post the concept themselves. Credit where it's due is important, especially on a site licensed under Creative Commons.

An SCP that has a confirmed gender: female.

Why is this important? Also, how would anyone be able to confirm this anyway?

This anomaly basically is a female mass of gelatinous matter. Her exhales contains several toxins and unknown kill agents.

This is a pretty generic monster, without much to it to distinguish it from a Monster Manual entry or video game boss (plus, we already have a swamp gas lady SCP, I think?). I suggest reading over this essay on common SCP pitfalls to get an idea of what elements to avoid putting in an SCP article, and maybe taking a look at the more recently posted hostile SCP articles to see what the community is expecting to see these days. Something as bland as this won't do well on the mainsite.

Re: A friend's idea by ZynZyn, 20 Sep 2018 07:06

Anyone who reads, hears, or otherwise comprehends the will becomes compelled to fulfill whatever the specified last wishes of the deceased are.

This is a pretty generic compulsion effect, which we have a lot of. Typically, an SCP object's effect forcing someone to do something tends to be a bit of a lame narrative, since things are more interesting if there's a struggle involved, and/or if the people instead do terrible things of their own volition rather than just because the author needs them to for the story to work. Consider reading through the further discussion on the narrative issues of compulsion and addiction effects.

I may add more onto it, making it a bit more sinister than an easily-contained meme maker

Why? What about writing a sinister tone is appealing to you, and how do you want the audience to react to that sort of theme?

I don't want to bother with that until I'm certain that no similar SCPs already exist

I don't think we have an SCP article relating specifically to wills (although I think we do have a humanoid that will anomalously insert itself into wills as a long-lost relative), but we definitely have a lot of compulsion articles (take a look at the articles tagged with "compulsion").

I feel like if you tweak the primary effect to be something besides compulsion (you have a solid approach with the will itself being turned into a memetic hazard) this might be more workable. What sort of sinister bent were you planning on having the anomaly use?

Re: Last Will and Commandment by ZynZyn, 20 Sep 2018 07:03

radiowave488radiowave488, as per the Ideas and Brainstorming forum guidelines:

Please don't just link us a sandbox draft. Give us a quick explanation of the concept. We don't need to see all the complicated details that would be present in a draft; we're helping out with the core idea. Link a sandbox only as optional reading or if a reviewer asks for it.

If you're still unsure of what a concept summary looks like, take a look at other threads in this forum.

That said… this is a pretty generic powered-up humanoid, which likely will not do well on the site. Humanoids are actually among the most difficult types of articles to write successfully; if you're really set on writing one, then first take a look at the humanoid writing guide if you haven't yet.

Admin Post - Info - Open by ZynZyn, 20 Sep 2018 06:59

The subreddit /r/tipofmytongue brought me here, and the community convinced me to stay. SCP-408 was also a big part of that.

So… my first reaction is that this is kind of weird but not in a good way, and also way, way too complicated. How are ants thematically related to time travel?

The idea of something that uses time travel to target its prey is definitely different, but it doesn't really make sense as presented. If this thing has the ability to immobilize prey, why doesn't it just immediately immobilize upon contact or wait for the thing to fall asleep, or just only prey on weaker victims like ants already do? And there's also the continuity question of "if these things need to spray someone to target them, and then go back in time to kill them, wouldn't that person have then been dead before they would have gotten to the scenario involving them getting sprayed in the first place?"

I personally don't think this will be workable as it is currently, sorry.

I just skipped to the middle of the video and watched for ten seconds. I can’t watch anymore.

I…I can’t breathe. My laughter is too much. I’m currently curled over, furiously slapping my leg as each bouncing exhale brings more laughter. I may be dying.

Lord help me.

I haven’t even finished the video.

by DrDromeusDrDromeus, 20 Sep 2018 06:50

STAFF NOTICE: According to the Draft Forum Guidelines, please do not post your entire draft in the forums. Make a sandbox page, put your draft there, and link it from the current thread (do not make a new thread). An example of a basic draft forum post can be found in the Guidelines. More instructions on how to format an SCP page can be found in the How to Write an SCP Guide.

If the only copy of your draft is in this post, you can recover the text by clicking the 'Last edited on [dd/mm/yyyy], [time] by [username] Show more' section found in lower right corner of this post. Then click 'Show revision' to find the full draft from before. Copy that full draft and paste it into your sandbox page. Please note that 'Show revision' does not change the post back.

What first brought you to the site, and what made you stay?

I personally believe that every month or so the Foundation just hauls in large caches of these anomalous items, processes them with a few standard tests, and then puts them in large collective storage vaults or enclosures for the living anomalies. I imagine it'd be interesting to walk through one of those warehouse-size vaults. Maybe there's even a wine cellar kind of thing for the edibles. Who knows.

something something Kiryu Labs plug

Re: Admin Post - Info - Open by ZynZyn, 20 Sep 2018 06:31

Make him a personnel and give him a task of updating Impse to every ports (SNES, Genesis, etc.) and sequels of Doom, including fan mod (just to be safe). That should do it.

Re: Containing Doomguy by KuruniKuruni, 20 Sep 2018 06:28
ZynZyn 20 Sep 2018 06:25
in discussion Per Page Discussions / Per page discussions » asmr by dado

I'm not sure if asmr is supposed to result in a state of perpetual snickering but this was pretty great

dado not being able to open the pill bottle was the funniest thing I have seen today

by ZynZyn, 20 Sep 2018 06:25

Let's say someone asked you to come up with a gag gift for Valentine's Day. The premise is a box of six chocolates, half with tasty fillings people will like and half with fillings that are really weird, but not outright will-immediately-spit-out disgusting. And of course all these things need to be food-safe, etc. etc. no soap in the chocolates.

What are the fillings you pick? And how do you react when someone buys you a dozen of those boxes?

@ LuckyManJohn by ZynZyn, 20 Sep 2018 06:22

Doctor ScavanDoctor Scavan, this feedback is vague and misleading. Furthermore, you have been addressed multiple times for problematic feedback, as well as received a cease-and-desist order and a ban for ignoring said order.

OP, for your convenience, I will address the issues in the feedback here:

I think your Kaiju is best, only because it reminds me of Attack on Titan. Maybe try mixing in giant monsters from Japanese culture.

This can potentially backfire, as the more you build off of existing material, the less creative the work looks. "Existing mythology or franchise thing, but as SCP" tends to do poorly on the site, regardless of how many people are fans of the original material.

Alright, so how powerful is this substance. Is it similar to 106's substance?

Focusing too much on abilities and "how strong is something" is a hallmark of the typical generic monster that often gets deleted off the mainsite because it's so predictable. Also, there's no reason to compare it to other SCP articles just for the sake of matching abilities. The Crosslinks Guide has some more information on when to and not to mention other SCP articles when explaining ones own anomaly.

Okay, so the kaiju needs some improvement, though I haven't seen the result. Send me a link to the file if you've typed it up. Or the thread.

The kaiju concept is not ready to be drafted yet.

Either one because I feel like its gonna turn out good with enough work

"It will be good with enough work" is a statement that can be applied to pretty much any draft. Reviewers should try to focus on specifics when advising an author on how to continue with a piece.

Doctor ScavanDoctor Scavan, this feedback is vague and misleading. Furthermore, you have been addressed multiple times for problematic feedback, as well as received a cease-and-desist order and a ban for ignoring said order.

OP, for your convenience, I will address the issues in the feedback here:

Honestly, the idea isn't too bright. It's just too simple.

For the record, simple/straightforward ideas are fine, so long as there's some depth to the presentation/core concept beyond just the usual "thing that does a thing" formula. For this case, "skateboard that will move indefinitely" is more of an entry on the log of anomalous items than an SCP article.

Although the fact that this thing can sense and possibly has sentience,

There doesn't really seem to be any indication of sentience here, especially since the skateboard itself likely doesn't experience pain or fear the way a sentient animal would.

it's just as if it should be Foundation equipment. If anything, write a file describing its purpose of use in the foundation.

Definitely don't do this because it might come off as unprofessional. Most readers assume that the Foundation is smart enough not to use anomalies as standard equipment, especially not if they're meant to be kept in containment.

If you want it as an SCP, it could get you some points as an anomalous item.

This advice is just entirely misleading, since one doesn't really "get points" from entries on the anomalous items list (trying to keep track of individual authors for that is pretty difficult) and SCP articles are not on the list of anomalous items.

Great tale and 10/10 did not expect that last bit.
Well done - take my +1

by JustJohnFKennedyJustJohnFKennedy, 20 Sep 2018 06:06
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