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There's no real story here, at least so far. What do you want to tell us about this monster?

And there are a few friendly monster types, although it's by no means the norm. But if you want to get your article surviving, you need something in terms of narrative.

A narrative arc is a good way about this: starting with a status quo and by the end that's different, the journey of the reader… having a climax and a resolution

This is awesome! +1

by Dr BrooksDr Brooks, 23 Apr 2021 08:17

Hi, I think this idea was very ambitious and interesting but for me it has a logical flaw. When I read its account I'm too sympathetic to the SCP which undermines the notion that everyone who interacts with it despises it. Most of what it says puts you on its side. If this is the case wouldn't other people who read about it try to help it?

The most objectionable statement it makes is this:

The reason I say this is because Jamie had dyslexia. The only people that cared for me were either physically or mentally disabled. I don’t know.

I'm assuming this is the SCP's wording rather than the author's.

No vote by dunc7fivedunc7five, 23 Apr 2021 08:01

this is short and sweet, with a nice punch at the end. i'm surprised you resisted the temptation to create offsets about this song becoming keter after an endless array of wild predictions. +1.

by sachiel187sachiel187, 23 Apr 2021 07:59

Okay thanks cybersqyd for all your help

Thank you so much! I'm glad you like it, and I hope you liked the idea of unconditional love being a saving grace for people affected by this SCP!

By UT, do you mean Undertale? Thanks, that kind of unintentionally happened during my writing, and I just rolled with it and chucked several references in. :D

by Dr BrooksDr Brooks, 23 Apr 2021 07:22

Yeah, I’m pretty new to the sp00ks. I hope that as I write these, I continuously hone my ability to make them really hit. Biggest thing stopping me from doing that right now is the word count limit. I’m such a slow burn type of author. This format is something I’m still wrapping my fingers around.

But I have confidence it’ll start making a lot more sense to me, how to pace these things.

However, I do think this is the spookiest thus far. I had, like, a physical reaction writing the climax here. I’m very happy with it.

by DarkStuffDarkStuff, 23 Apr 2021 07:14

I'm a quiet but sincere defender of Series I, but I'd always considered Blue Lady one of the most lackluster articles on the site. This tale has completely redeemed it in my eyes.

+1

by ProcyonLotorProcyonLotor, 23 Apr 2021 07:14

What good read. Nothing too heart thumping, but its the right amount of lowkey driving-alone-at-night-with-a-faulty-radio feel and existential horror to be captivating.

Don't smoke kids, or you'll be seeing blue.

by EstrellaYoshteEstrellaYoshte, 23 Apr 2021 07:04

Seeking Greenlights: Yes (This is my first attempt having a concept reviewed)

Page Type: SCP Article

Elevator Pitch: An immortal woman stops aging thousands of years ago, lives “average” fictional immortal life in the Eastern Mediterranean. A gap in her memory from 1919 to 2001 obfuscates a change on her situation. She now turns into clay every month and the new clay can be molded into the shape of a different woman.

The twist is that the new woman will retroactively rewrite her immortal life so photographs or accounts of her appearance prior to 1919 always match her current looks. Old paintings, literary account and so on.

Central Narrative:
The lady is named Galatea and her early life (as she remembers it) closely resembles the myth of Pygmalion and Galatea minus the part about the statue becoming alive. The implication is that the old myth is somehow the result of history rewriting itself to give her an origin to her situation post-1919 or that her current situation is much older but she incapable of remembering for some reason.

Her post-2001 life starts with her already under the care of a sculptor, so she does not know exactly when her new condition started. The article first implies that only her memories are being changed with each metamorphosis, but the subsequent discovery of and old photo changes that idea as it implies a much wider modification of history.

Hook / Attention Grabber: Starts with the old and simple story of a statue coming to life and slowly reveal the wider reality warping implications.

Heyo! I was summoned from IRC!

At the moment there isn't much more I can crit, if there is more that you plan on writing it's perfectly OK to put all that here! Don't worry about "spoilers" in your idea thread, we critters won't be able to help you develop your idea if you don't tell us what it is!

Hope this helps!

I really like the concept you have here. I know that if I used this SCP, I would be panicking the whole time. This really goes into detail about when caring becomes controlling. It makes sense that the only people who could use it with no effect would be apaths. Also, the idea of a deformed version of my loved ones is terrifying. I can't wait to see how this looks finished!

I don't know why, this tone reminds me of UT. Ha ha ha.


I love this world.

by Claire WalkerClaire Walker, 23 Apr 2021 06:55

If you're referring to your edit on 3 Apr 2021 (revision 834), adding this text:

|| MTF-Epsilon-02 || Humming birds || [[[SCP-5869]]] || Specializes in very fast cognitohazard retrival. ||

it looks like TSAT's revision 841 removed it, as the edit comment is "Removed a dead link to SCP-5869 and two dead links to SCP-1990-EX." As of my writing this comment, there is no SCP-5869 article, so there's no need for the previous entry.

If you're referring to your edit from today (revision 838), with the edit text "In the process of removing duplicates and if differences in the list are present they are included as a sub-MTF division no descriptions or wording was changed unless required(finished up to Alpha-10)", Estrella reverted over the change.

I got permission from malice for thought

When did you receive permission, and did you notify the MAST maintenance team?

Re: Reversion of my edit by ZynZyn, 23 Apr 2021 06:52

Coldpost, and my first scip!

I was originally trying to write something else, then this idea grabbed onto my brain tentacle and wouldn't let go. Several days later, here we are.

by Dr BrooksDr Brooks, 23 Apr 2021 06:51

Hey everyone! I'm Wages; been a long-time reader/fan of the Foundation, but never really worked up the courage to join until now. I'm a wannabe horror filmmaker, so writing for the site feels like a good way to hone my skills - get better at creating fun, memorable, creepy stories and all that. I'm really into horror movies, naturally, and also 70s/80s punk, tabletop RPGs, and film history. As for sandwiches, though… can't go wrong with a classic Italian sub, honestly.

I think this is my favorite of my nosleepnosleep creepypastas so far. Probably some of that comes from it being primarily existential horror, instead of spooky for other reasons. Also, first and second one are kinda about ghooosts. This creepypasta? Not about ghosts! Depending on interpretation.

I swear I will make a creepypasta unambiguously not about ghosts at some point.

Anywho. I am loving writing creepypastas for nosleepnosleep, because it's making me return to writing one-offs, and also since his commission specifications are that they should be about SCPs but not ones that are so popular to already be animated in some fashion, I get to show off SCPs that I like! SCP-013 was one of my first ever favorite SCPs. Now, it doesn't even make the Top 20. But way back when? It was the shit. Which I really should have noticed meant I shied away from the monsters and towards the narratives earlier, but ah well. Takes a bit to figure that stuff out. Anyhow, you know how long I have had the idea to write a tale about Blue Lady Cigarettes?

Since 20-fucking-12.

And it never would have happened had I not been commissioned in this way. So this is a genuinely great coincidence. Glad to have had this opportunity to make this idea finally come true.

Thank you to notgullnotgull for reading this over. Two more of these and I'll make a hub for my DarkStuff creepypastas (which I will definitely actually be calling Dark Stuff, ahahahah).

Author Post by DarkStuffDarkStuff, 23 Apr 2021 06:47

Isn't this plagarised?

You'll need to be more specific here—which portion of the material here do you think is plagiarized, and what is the original source?

Re: Isn't this plagarised? by ZynZyn, 23 Apr 2021 06:42
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