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I appreciate the feedback! I especially appreciate your suggestion to check out Kant, that seems like a good avenue to go down here. I've been at a bit of a crossroads on if I want ethics to be the major theme or a minor theme, but now I'm more sure I want it to be a major theme, if only a theme the reader themselves question.

Right now, I'm going to reflect on my D-Class character, and possibly develop a Foundation staffer that he can possibly bounce off of.

Once again, my greatest thanks!

Fun fact, my original outline for this story had him going to the moonbase and ending up on an escape pod but I cut it because I couldn't get the tone right.

by GerrymanderBassistGerrymanderBassist, 29 May 2020 13:32

I'm…really not sure about this conceptually? I think my biggest issue is that the stakes are kinda…abstract: I have a pretty decent grasp of physics but I don't really know what, if any, the consequences of changing absolute zero are. This in turn leads to the question of why the D-Class is using this specific anomaly as a threat because like, if I don't have a good idea of what it means, why does the D-Class? Why doesn't the D-Class break in to like, an anomaly that's more obviously dangerous?

Also like, this is the kinda change that'd be super hard to like, hide? There's way too many folk who know what absolute zero is for a change in it to be something they didn't notice; and there's no way the Foundation would have the resources to find them all?


I think, for me, the biggest issue is that there's a big disconnect between the anomaly and the story here: it doesn't feel like what you want to do is really about the anomaly per se so much as tangentially around it; and I think for this to work as a SCP, the two have to be a lot more tightly integrated

Re: A simple thermostat by cybersqydcybersqyd, 29 May 2020 13:31

Thanks for the Read @WhiteGuard , one spooky scenario, shudder …

Actually, I don't really want to be d directed to a certain genre. I like stumbling upon unexpected things and the SCP wiki is full of them.
I didn't even realize what you might mean with different genre because I didn't even think of all the content on here as such.

Thanks anyway though!

Hi- I'm trying to write up my first SCP. And I noticed alot of the reference pictures for the SCPs are from real life locations, or objects.
The issue with mine is I can't find a real life reference picture for it, but I can't find any rule that mentions if a picture from real life is required.
So if anyone does know- Does it have to be from a real life object/location, or it can be not from real life at all (to it's own boundaries)?

All right! Thank you for clarifying, and thank you for noting a different way to critique. I still want to say that I like the concept of anomalous entities based off of the Chinese zodiac, and that the idea still has a lot of potential. Best of luck with your SCP-writing endeavors!

I really like where this is going and how it centers around the Foundation's moral principals and how this SCP will vigorously test and ask the reader: "Is the SCP Foundation REALLY 'good?' " (or "correct" in what they're doing?)

I also love the concept of a D-class subject working against the SCP Foundation after the discovery of this Anomalous rainbow. I am excited for the themes of "the individual good" (Represented by the D-class subject, and the "Good" that this Anomalous Rainbow SCP would do for them) clashing with the cold, calculating supposed "Greater Good" represented by the SCP foundation in their own journey to the discovery of its anomalous properties, and how this rainbow: as an anomalous item must be contained, or destroyed after research has been commenced.

Can't wait to see this develop! I feel like the aftermath of the reading of this article would recontextualize everything the reader has read so far about the SCP-Foundation and their works!

I would like to recommend reading up on the basics of the philosophy of Immanuel Kant! Especially n the context of the question "Is it Okay to Ever Lie?," Oliver from PhilosophyTube has done a good video on this and I believe that more pondering , and more development for the storytelling and what exactly you want this SCP to convey would be very beneficial!

Much Love and Support, Good Luck!

This has some really dope imagery in it that's really excellent; but everything else feels…a touch lacking? The narrative in particular feels, unfocussed and like it doesn't really go anywhere?

I'd really consider what you like, wanna do here? Like, it needs some kinda,,,narrative or emotional arc to this to like, really let you show off the grossness, I think; or perhaps for it to just be trimmed down to something gross and like, end on the quiet implication that this didn't kill the person: perhaps a single event log or something.

SCP-XXXX is a creation by Dr. Wondertainment built to wow and spook the whole family.

Absolutely not do not do this. Dr. Wondertainment makes toys for kids, and no part of this is like, either fun or suitable for kids. There's also a general tendency for Wondertainment stuff to not be dangerous, or at least, not intentionally dangerous.

I think this would also be stronger if like, the origins weren't explored? Like I could see this working best as a short SCP-5852-esque piece.

Assuming you take all this into account, and like, really strip this down to just showing the horrifying thing and the quiet implication that the person is left like, in immense pain but alive, this is a greenlight from me.

Re: Sir Skeleton (GL) by cybersqydcybersqyd, 29 May 2020 12:59

Thanks for the feedback. I've been kicking around ideas on how to expand this. I hadn't considered bringing in a GOI, but that sounds like a good idea. Just got to figure out which one would work in this case. Any suggestions?

Re: The Water Seed by LokenkeeLokenkee, 29 May 2020 12:57

I'm also new to writing SCPs so dont worry about not receiving the best response on your first ones!

This is bad advice. There's nothing to be gained from posting low effort articles that no one will remember after they are inevitably deleted. Take the time, make the effort, and write everything with the expectation that it should be successful.

Re: Ptah by sirpuddingsirpudding, 29 May 2020 12:47

Conceptually, this feels like it'd be much stronger as a tale: the real story here doesn't in any way involve the Foundation, and so being more free to like, tell this from the perspective of the brothers and really show how they feel and convey the action in prose would greatly strengthen this.

Beyond this, it feels, perhaps like this needs more closure as a story? I'd probably suggest you end the piece with the death of the final member of the sarkic cult responsible for the deaths of their family: it feels like it'd be the natural end point of the narrative.

If you do listen here, I'd want to have a better feel for what the narrative arc between 'our family was killed' and 'we've killed the sarkics responsible' looks like before I'd be willing to greenlight this. It might be worth considering the emotional arc of the brothers here, and like, how they go from sad about the death to angry to however they end up feeling; and in turn, what the reader is meant to feel here: like are we always rooting for the brothers? Do we agree with them in principle but feel they go too far? Are the sarkics relatable?

I'd also suggest you really consider how this is different from a generic revenge story: I don't think it's necessarily too cliche but I think it could end up feeling so if not pulled off well.

Noting some similarities to SCP-3939.

NOT COMPLETE

Seeking Greenlights: Yes

Page Type: SCP Article

Genre (Optional): Slightly Emotional

Page Layout (Optional): Standard

Elevator Pitch: The SCP is a small wooden box that contains some origami paper. If the paper is used in the way it is intended, the object represented by the paper will be replaced with its real life counterpart. Once all the paper has been used, a total of 1 hour must pass before the box will "refill itself".

Central Narrative: Found after the death of a former Foundation member, SCP-XXXX is a small wooden box containing a total of 120 pieces of square origami paper.
The former owner "Dr Hideyo Kanzashi" died at the age of "87", and left the box in the care of his son "Dr Ryoko Kanzashi". According to Ryoko, his father made the box as a 30th anniversary gift for his wife "Maiko Kanzashi". However before giving it to her, Maiko fell to sickness and the box was set aside. Unfortunately Maiko was in the late stages of brain cancer. The cause of this is still unknown, and for symptoms to show up so late in the process are unheard of. Maiko died 56 hours after the tumours where spotted.

After the funeral the box was put in storage until 1994, when Dr Ryoko was helping his father clean out his attic. You see after Maiko's death, Hideyo picked up a few hobbies to pass the time. One of them being origami. Ryoko needing to balance work and family decided to alter the box's properties, using a mixture of different SCP's. which aloud Hideyo to use the infinite supply of paper to conjurer up food, pens, books, etc.

SCP-XXXX now resides in Dr Ryoko's office.

Hook/Attention-Grabber: I Know its not perfect and "Mr Deeds" is quite similar, but I thought it was a pretty unique idea seeing as there's not many origami based SCPs.

Additional Notes:

Origami by GrayTrooper4059GrayTrooper4059, 29 May 2020 12:38

This feels, conceptually interesting but also like you don't quite do enough with it for it to work?

Like, this is really crying out, imo, for a short test log say, where you have e.g, one person playing it and it does it's normal thing, and then like, a second test where something a little weird happens, and then escalate until something like, absolutely horrifying happens.

I'm a little uncertain about this activating on a look: it seems like this would be super awkward to deal with because like, you'd have to be blindfolded to move it to prevent it's effects activating. That might be a really interesting angle to play with if you wanted to; but imo I'd just, have it work if you attempted to play it rather than like just seeing it.

I'd also suggest you maybe consider whether there could be a larger implication here: what if someone else developed the same piece? What if they're given a partial transcription of the music?


Uh so to summarise: conceptually, this is fun but I think you need to take it further and like, do more with it for it to work.

Re: Gymnopédie No. 1 by cybersqydcybersqyd, 29 May 2020 12:32

Everybody knows that SCP-3908 is SCP-3908.

by Taras NikitinTaras Nikitin, 29 May 2020 12:31

There's really not enough here to be of interest. Like, it poetically spelling out your death is…vaguely interesting but like, what are you going to do to show what this should mean to a reader? Are you going to list a bunch of examples of the poetic death spells? Are you going to go into the history of why this thing exists? Do you wanna do something else?

Without more to this idea, it does just kinda feel like a less interesting version of SCP-012.


I'm gonna suggest you look at a bunch of recent SCPs (the Top Rated New Pages page is a great place to find good new SCPs) and like, really get a feel for what they're like stylistically from there.

In general: you should be aiming more for like, a short story about a weird thing than just an encylopedia entry on it. It doesn't need to be a long, complex story: even a single sentence that implies something horrible at the end can be sufficient; but it does need more than you have currently.

Hm; this definitely feels like a really good start to an idea: you've setup a lot of fun, emotional pieces here, from the sad story of the SCP to the like, touching interaction between him and his watercolour dog, and like, it's a great space to write a story in.

But at the moment, it kinda feels…like you haven't quite done that? I don't really think the most compelling aspect here is like, the backstory per se so much as how he's contained: you could, for example, do a really fascinating story about the Foundation separating them and the impact on his mental health, and have that escalate until you reach some kind of ending (perhaps them being reunited, perhaps something sadder like e.g, the dog dying sad and alone).

I'm, a touch unsure about this being like a generic thing he does every time/any time as opposed to a one off thing: it feels, perhaps, like you'd be able to have a much bigger emotional impact without the lessening of it with the implied 'he could make another dog' (which like, obviously isn't the same; perhaps playing with that here could help? like he makes other dogs and it's not the same; you could use this to help with the escalation maybe).

just that evil thing? Make it more powerful.

by Cryptic_PythonCryptic_Python, 29 May 2020 12:16

very good!!!

by Cryptic_PythonCryptic_Python, 29 May 2020 12:03

This feels…conceptually like a bit of a mess? I think the fundamental problem is that there's not really any consistency in what this does and instead is a bunch of ideas tacked on to try and make this feel more interesting (e.g, them being undamageable and repairing themselves; the 'Get turned into a midget(2ft tall) for an hour' if you touch it; the utensils being sapient); but there's also not really a core, interesting idea here either?

The central narrative is just, relatively bland backstory; and there's a lot of disjointed narrative threads in the hook section; and it feels like maybe if somewhere in there, there was a single, coherent story, this could maybe be fun? But I think the problem is that the core anomaly is just…not very interesting; and I think that's why you've tried tacking on so much other stuff.

If…you really want this to work, you're going to have to figure out how to make 'thing which endlessly spins' interesting on it's own, I think: it might be worth considering e.g, whether the Foundation uses it or like, whether the spinning makes handling it really challenging in an interesting way or something.

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