SCP-XXXX: Haunted Fursuit
This is my first time writing an SCP, and I was hoping to get some critique on it.
SCP-XXXX: Haunted Fursuit
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» SCP-XXXX: Haunted Fursuit
Summary:
This is my first time writing an SCP, and this is an idea I've had for a while and just now got to writing.
All staff assigned to SCP-XXX shall have Level-2 Security Clearance and are to be screened to ensure they are not “Furries”
This is a big tonal break; "are not members of the furry fandom" would work better.
SCP-XXX is a light gray “fur-suit” of an anthropomorphized version Canis Lupus
The styling of the nomenclature is wrong; it should be Canis lupus (binomial nomenclature is always italicized, and only the first word in it is capitalized— "Homo sapiens" instead of "Homo Sapiens", for instance). Also, "Fursuit" is generally one word, not hyphenated, and the Foundation wouldn't outright call it that. And "Light grey"? You generally don't see wolves that are a solid shade of light grey, even in fursuit form. A lot of canine fursuits have lighter-colored or white bellies and fronts/undersides. And "anthropomorphosized" implies it has become humanoid; if it's a fursuit, it is already anthropomorphic.
In testing, when SCP-XXX is worn by an individual, over the course of 45 minutes to an hour, changes in an animal native to the surrounding area
This… raises all sorts of logistical questions. Like, in the next sentence, you say that it can grow to fit, but this kind of break the suspension of disbelief. Like, let's say that you were using this in the middle of the ocean, and ended up turning into a sperm whale. How does the largest known creature on the planet, who doesn't have any form of grapsing feature, exit it?
There have been attempts at a fursuit SCP before, and pretty much none of them have worked, because they focus on the wish fulfillment aspect of it (i.e. turning furries into their fursonas) rather than any possible horrific aspect— SCP-3312 displays the horror of being forced to be an obsessive member of the furry fandom, from financial ruin from buying literally hundreds of fursuits and commissions to being forced to live in squalor because your life has been completely consumed by your obsession, followed by regression into a goddamn animalistic state. That is horrifying. This is… just kind of bland and uninteresting. As-is, I'd downvote it.
Thank you for your critique. I concur that the writing is not entirely consistent with SCP as a whole, likely due to an oversight I made in the writing process, such as the whale, or description of the SCP, which can likely be attributed to my lack of experience, though the point about the whale could be fixed by including a piece about a size limit. Based on your closing remark, it would seem that this idea was not the first of its kind. Do you have a suggestion on improvements in concept that could be implemented to make it more unique, or would you be an advocate for scrapping it as a whole?
I see Ihp is planning on tackling this tomorrow, but I wanna give this a shot since I'm part of the furry fandom, so I think I might be able to add onto whatever they post later
The Containment Procedures read well enough to me until we get to this
All staff assigned to SCP-XXX shall have Level-2 Security Clearance and are to be screened to ensure they are not “Furries” (See Incident Report A3-1)
This seems interesting enough. "Huh, why can't furries interact with it?" The problem happens when you get to Incident Report A3-1 and the first thing you see is:
Test #1 - 10/12/20██
Subject: A████ M████
Crime: Bestiality
Oh boy. Now maybe being a furry myself is clouding my judgement here, but the fact that you're making the first furry to interact with the SCP being convicted of bestiality reads as you not knowing enough about the fandom to know how hated this misconception about furry=zoophile is. I'm not at all saying it doesn't happen. There was a whole outing of a couple a few months back that are under police investigation right now, but I do want to tell you that this reads off as a painful stereotype. It'd read a lot more naturally if the D-Class was incarcerated for something else. This is besides the fact that, unfortunately enough, bestiality in at least the US is a misdemeanor most of the time instead of anything federal.
I jumped ahead a bit to tackle that because I wanted to get it out of the way, so I'm gonna go in reverse now and tackle this from the description:
In testing, when SCP-XXX is worn by an individual, over the course of 45 minutes to an hour, changes in an animal native to the surrounding area. Should the animal be larger than what the suit should normally be able to hold, it has shown itself capable of expanding to accommodate it.
Personally I think that's pretty solid!
When the suit is worn by a “furry”, the suit will turn them into their “fursona”
Alright, now this is interesting in concept, but it needs more detail. Furries aren't just colorful versions with humanoid, or at least human level intelligence of animals that actually exist. Dragons, the original Sergal species, and hybrids also have places in the fandom. What I want to know is what would the suit do if someone who has a dragon sona wore it. Would they become a dragon?
Another thing I noticed back in the Test Log was that the D-Class turned into a normal bear. If this is because their sona was something rare in the fandom, like a bear that has absolutely no human qualities, then that's fine to me. But if it wasn't and say, a humanoid bear, why did the SCP turn the D-Class into the actual animal instead?
I also wanna go back to this:
When the suit is worn by a “furry”
Alright, so it affects furries differently, got it. What if the suit is worn by otherkin, people who believe they have animal souls? Would the effect be the same?
What about furries who don't have multiple characters, but also multiple fursonas? Does the suit pick the one used the most, or does it attempt to mix them?
The concept as a whole needs work, more clarification and maybe a test log with average furries and an otherkin test log would help showing off the limits of the SCP.
Edit: I wanna point out this might have the unfortunate side effect of reading like a Transformation Suit Fetish, but I might be reading too into it
Sorry for the late response, but I appreciate your critique. I agree that I was not particularly clear at all times.
I included the remark about bestiality because I felt that the Foundation would not track who was and wasn't a furry, but a researcher may try to narrow down the people who may be furries by choosing those with bestiality on their record, then interview them to determine if they were furries. I probably should change that.
What I want to know is what would the suit do if someone who has a dragon sona wore it. Would they become a dragon?
I think I might have had an idea to include a piece on how it transforms them into the closest real approximation of their fursona, but I forgot to put that in.
What if the suit is worn by otherkin, people who believe they have animal souls?
I'll be honest, I had no idea that was a thing until I googled that. Just off the top of my head, I guess it could just transform them into whatever soul they believe they have.
What about furries who don't have multiple characters, but also multiple fursonas? Does the suit pick the one used the most, or does it attempt to mix them?
I didn't think about that either. I think it would provide an interesting twist if there was a person with multiple fursonas, who, when exposed to the SCP, turned into a horrible amalgamation of them all.
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page revision: 1, last edited: 02 Apr 2021 15:16
