Ghost Zamboni

Summary:

Spectral phenomenon, out on the frozen pond.

Ghost Zamboni

Boogey_Man23 31 Oct 2018 12:54

The idea is this: A ghostly Zamboni and its driver manifests on frozen bodies of water, such as lakes or ponds. It drives around a space on the ice clearing away any snowfall and leaving the ice clean and smooth.

The Foundation contains this by going to these locations and hiding the anomalous nature of it from the public. They do that by claiming they did the ice themselves for some community charity thing, and then they organize a game of pick-up hockey to make it seem legit.

A <300 word proof-of-concept rough draft

Containment Procedures: Satellite imagery and aerial surveillance are to be employed over the designated region when weather conditions may be conducive to manifestations of SCP-XXXX.

Upon identification of any potential instances, a response team equipped with GEARBAG Loadout is to be dispatched to confirm the event. Upon confirmation, responding technicians will assess public exposure and initiate appropriate cover-up measures.

In the event of any civilian interest, responding containment technicians are to claim responsibility for the effects of SCP-XXXX. Should enough civilian interest accrue at the scene, technicians are authorized to institute the SHINNY Protocol for as long as deemed necessary.

Description: SCP-XXXX is a non-corporeal apparition of a Z██████ ice-surfacing machine and driver which manifests on bodies of water such as lakes or ponds which have frozen over.

Only occurs in places where ice is thick enough to support heavy weight without danger of cracking. Locations tend to be relatively obscure, but not guaranteed to avoid observation.

An area of varying size, typically around 10m x 20m, will be cleared of all snow and its surface will be clean and smooth to an unnatural degree given the environmental circumstances. Any further precipitation seems averse to gathering on this designated area.

Addendum 1:
- GEARBAG Loadout

GEARBAG Loadout

• Six hockey pucks
• Eighteen hockey sticks
• Two hockey nets
• Twenty scrimmage vests (assorted colours)
• One whistle

Addendum 2:
- SHINNY Protocol

SHINNY Protocol:

• Responding containment technicians will be posing as representatives of a public health initiative 'Sporting Community Program'.
• In the event of sufficient civilian interest, technicians are to organize an impromptu hockey match involving all willing participants.
• Depending on number of participants and size of SCP-XXXX area of effect, matches may be played 3-on-3, 4-on-4, or 5-on-5.
• Note that SHINNY Protocol, once initiated, is typically maintained until sunset.

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So, fairly basic stuff. I reckon I'd be aiming to make it a light natured, short and sweet -style SCP.

Questions: Can the idea carry an article like that? What might I do to takes it up a level? Does it all just seem over-contrived? I feel like making a character out of the driver and giving them a backstory will be suggested - but going for that would stretch the article's length considerably. Is that a better bet than keeping it brief? Is there an effective way to do both?

Any other feedback on the idea/concept is welcome too, please and thanks!

Re: Ghost Zamboni

Zyn 03 Nov 2018 06:41

Hmm. I love SCP articles with atypical containment procedures, and I love the idea of the Foundation just taking credit for the anomaly and covering it up with casual hockey games.

I personally don't think you need the GEARBAG Loadout or the SHINNY Protocol or the "Sporting Community Program" bits—they just seem overly stats-dump-y and the majority of the stuff in those sections can just be covered by one or two sentences each.

Can the idea carry an article like that? What might I do to takes it up a level?

Do you have any ideas for context/backstory as to why this phenomenon manifests? Maybe sometimes it hands out candy canes to nearby kids if the date is close enough to Christmas? And when the Foundation starts handing out candy canes to kids too as cover-up, it becomes more likely to show up in other areas? So it's basically like Santa during off-hours?

Does it all just seem over-contrived? I feel like making a character out of the driver and giving them a backstory will be suggested - but going for that would stretch the article's length considerably. Is that a better bet than keeping it brief?

I mean, I for one prefer short snappy articles. Depends on how you set it up.

Is there an effective way to do both?

I would say yes—drop little Easter eggs in quirky, unexpected behaviors of this dude. You don't have to have a full interview to have the Foundation note behaviors and unique mannerisms that can be good story beats without spoon-fed exposition.

Best of luck with this! I personally like the premise a lot.