This article has issues. Things like forgetting to put the possessive astrophe in "blimps" to some of the dialogue feeling stiff. Was this given critique first? The idea is solid but unfortunately any semblance of a finished mainlist article is not present.
SCP-3971 / Discussion
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This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-3971.
Yeah, this has been posted for a week in the critique forum prior to posting here. I solicited feedback from some other members as suggested there. I fixed what was suggested there. Happy to take this back to draft and revise. Any specific notes? Fixed the commas.
The incident log did not really grab my attention but I feel that it was well written. Unlike some other scps, this one clearly showed how it came to the foundation’s attention and how it behaved outside of containment. Which I feel is a positive. I also like that it could be physically altered and not just put in a box.
I was significantly dissatisfied with how the exploration log ended. I want more of a description of how this thing is killing people. If it is just going to a low Hume space, I believe that a description of the space’s effects on the personal affects of the people who have gone into this room would significantly improve the article. Presumably it has fucked them up, being unreal and all that. Something like this would make the testing ban more impactful as well in my opinion.
No vote currently but strong potential for future up vote.
First, I appreciate the feedback! I'll put some thought into modifying the end of the exploration log, but honestly, I was going for anticlimax there. Like you touched on about the incident log, I intended for this to be a procedural. The exploration was thrown together very quickly and was completely unprepared for much beyond taking pictures. I was hoping to subvert the trope of multiple explorations leading to roughly the same conclusion, which is we don't know how or why it works but with a higher body count. Since there's no apparent pattern to how this thing moves around so the question I'm asking is "when do we know enough to contain an anomaly?" Further testing is effectively releasing this skip from containment. Once it moves, there's another keter anomaly floating around out there.
I like this but I don't like the title "on-the-job training". Pick something better.
Thanks for the feedback! I'll be honest, I'd never navigated through the Series pages themselves prior to this, so I didn't know that SCPs even had titles prior to this. I switched it up to "Utility Closet SB3-117a."
Author, if you're not familiar with the tagging system, leave it to the tagging team. If you only put in some tags, they won't know that the article has incomplete tagging.
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Got it! Was not sure if that was something I needed to do.
oh, and I hate to tell you this, but that image is 99% likely gonna have to come down. Copyright reasons. Where'd you get it?
The image is public domain from the US National Archives. Is there an issue with using public domain images?
No, just make a post citing the original website you got it from and the fact that it's public domain.
/forum/t-6429235/scp-3971#post-
page revision: 1, last edited: 25 Feb 2021 03:57
