SCP-1602 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-1602.

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Whee!

PeppersGhost 06 Mar 2013 13:03

Here it is, folks: my first article! Hope you like it (or at least find it relatively adequate)!

I'm still on the fence about the interview log. If it's not working, let me know and I'll cut it.

Changed photo in 2019 to comply with changes in licensing standards: Shadow Play by chispita_666.

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Discover more of my weird ramblings in
~PeppersGhost's Gallery of Illusion!~

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Last edited on 29 Mar 2019 06:30 by PeppersGhost Show more

(account deleted) 06 Mar 2013 15:19

It's not bad, but I'm just not digging it. I feel it relies too heavily on the experiment log to make it interesting, and while the experiments do add a bit of intrigue, their results seem a little… predictable. Your containment procedures also seem rather lax, with nothing more than a combination lock to keep somebody from stealing a potentially dangerous item, and your researcher insert is kind of rubbing me the wrong way.

Your writing could also use a bit of work, with oddities like:

…as SCP-1602 appears to generate an extradimension space behind it when active

…an instance of SCP-1602-A will be generated, its silhouette visible behind the curtain.

but overall your tone is fairly decent.

I do think this is pretty good for a first article, and with a bit of work I think I'd enjoy this quite a bit, but as it is I'm not feeling it enough to give it more than a neutral vote.

SoullessSingularity 06 Mar 2013 15:23

I feel like there's nothing here that I haven't seen done better in other SCPs.

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Living the dream, or dreaming the life?

ignorant_genius 06 Mar 2013 17:34

Incredibly verbose. Lots of instances where words could be trimmed to improve flow.

SCP-1602 in its active state, generating an instance of SCP-1602-A in the presence of D-1602-3. The image comes from video footage of Experiment 1602-3.

Could be:

SCP-1602 in its active state, generating an instance of SCP-1602-A.

Or:

SCP-1602 during Experiment 1602-3.

Also, I'd like to get a better description of 1602-A in the actual description. I thought they were actual shadows instead of physical entities before I got to the log. That kind of reveal can work (fridge logic, et al), but this SCP seems too straightforward for that. It needs a straightforward description, then the creepy log to give it the dramatic element.

Last edited on 06 Mar 2013 17:35 by ignorant_genius Show more

Dracoe 07 Mar 2013 14:15

I believe "generates an instance of SCP-1602-A" is a better way of cleaning up that sentence in particular.

YellerBill 06 Mar 2013 18:36

Eh, overall I like it. I don't see anything really wrong with it, and I don't see any problems left from the draft (not that there were very many to begin with).

Sensei Le Roof 06 Mar 2013 19:37

Spell-checking. Errgh.

Communism will win 06 Mar 2013 20:10

I'll admit that I wasn't expecting much after the Description, but for some reason the testing logs and their descriptions of a person's insecurities dragging them to another place and turning them into said insecurities really did it for me.

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h

Kaiser Crab 07 Mar 2013 10:27

There are a lot of other scips that play on a victims fears or regrets, and I feel like this one only stands out because there's so much grimdark crammed into the experiment log. I also groaned a bit as soon as I saw a shower curtain with a shadowy hand behind it. That's a -1 for me.

Dracoe 07 Mar 2013 14:08

As far as the description goes, it was a bland article. However, the testing log was interesting. I am with Scantron, and Mr. Wilt on this one. The tone and description need work. For now I will remain neutral in my voting on this article.

Doktori 07 Mar 2013 16:22

It is missing some things I would expect to see, such a recovery log and possibly a camera/video test. However, I think the writing is pretty good and the take on the idea interesting enough to be upvoted.

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