Interesting effect but I'd like to see a little more done with it. Perhaps some hints to how it got there.
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You came up with a good idea. People here can be hypercritical here but you do have a fairly developed idea here.
Thank you. I noticed the standards here are very high, as there are already many outstanding SCPs on the site and mine perhaps doesn't tell enough of a good story. To this end, I'm thinking about changing the final test log along these lines:
Vehicle(s) used: A Ford Focus brand car, never used previously, operated by an experienced driver.
Results: The driver was told to never exceed 20 km/h. A special response team was dispatched immediately afterwards and ordered to follow the car as closely as possible. The team, led by Agent ███████, consisted of security personnel, medical staff and car servicemen, equipped with necessary tools, spare car parts and fire extinguishers. Moments after initiating the test, the car was crushed by two falling roadside trees. The driver lost consciousness, suffering head trauma, multiple broken ribs, numerous lacerations and glass shards wedged into the skin. Upon investigation, it was discovered that each tree had a single word crudely carved in the bark:
STOP
HURT
Not entirely sure on my vote here. Although the last test log definitely added to it, there just needs to be a little bit more. Like is there a backstory? Is there some invisible creature? Cult or maniacal force causing these events? I would just like to know. However, it's formatted perfectly and isn't a bad idea at all. I just need a little backstory and that's why I think that you're getting downvotes.
I think I'll upvote just because I still like the idea and it has good potential, especially with an expansion of the origin story.
Send in Dr. Gerald on a moped, see which one wins.
Like a number of others, I think it's a good idea, but there are a number of issues that make me give a down vote. The tank seems a bizarre test, as it's a huge leap in price/visibility etc, and to me, if a tank is destroyed by a landmine, it would seem difficult to not have casualties or at the least, severe injuries. I'm not sure on that, now that I think about it. However, there are some wording issues as well. The airbag failed to develop?
I do like the concept, but I think it can be fleshed out more.
Count me as another who likes the premise but feels like it needs more of a hook. I'd say that you should figure out an explanation for it and then give us just a hint of what did it. Is it a weird environmentalist hill? The site of a tragic accident that kicked this off? Something else?
I like it, but it needs a slight bit more detail and backstory.
Je suis devenu mort
No vote for now.
The tank in itself doesn't break immersion, but putting a landmine on the hill certainly does. Some other failure could be far more realistic in the constraints you've introduced.
Also, an "anti climb fence" is a completely unscientific term, and not even really necessary for containment of the scip, as all effects would look non-anomalous to an observer unless they knew the overall pattern.
I do like the idea of opening the site to civillian use, showing that when the scip isn't a threat to the veil, and isn't a huge threat to life, the foundation may simply not contain it.
Hopefully this can get a rewrite instead of deletion
/forum/t-6282122/scp-3354#post-
page revision: 3, last edited: 22 Sep 2018 03:57
