T.K.O. / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page T.K.O..

Credit where credit is due

Drewbear 15 Jun 2018 03:45

This is a collaboration between myself, thedeadlymoose, & weizhong.

---

Giving bearhugs to the unsuspecting since 1872.

Petrograd 15 Jun 2018 06:34

So, for context, I hadn't read the rest of your doomsday entries before reading this. I went back and read about half of them, and my opinion hasn't really changed.

There wasn't enough of a clear initial description for me to drill down on, to figure out what they were talking about or why it mattered (or why I should care). Just some vague eschaton and a bunch of seemingly irrelevant alternate universe descriptions. Without that, I couldn't really see how anything new was considered a revelation or an advancement of the plot. They just argue and then all die saying cryptic stuff.

Having read other articles, this still feels basically contentless, in terms of either much new information or why I should care about it. The new "revealed" information from the arguments about the mechanics of it didn't really satisfy on either count.

I need more meat up front: a clearer description before the conflict starts, maybe reframing what's been seen in past articles, a stronger invocation that this is something that matters to them (beyond one of them repeatedly indicating they need to take this seriously). That kind of thing. In media res + characters and article playing coy isn't doing it.

-1

Last edited on 15 Jun 2018 06:38 by Petrograd Show more

SecretCrow 15 Jun 2018 15:40

Petrograd adressed most of the issues I found but it really did boil down to a lack of clarity. Your baseline was cluttered with dialouge, and the queens arguing about the nature of the thing certainly did not help.

Jacob Conwell 23 Jun 2018 03:21

While I can see why the BQs arguing might throw someone off this, I think this might be one of my favorite BQ GoI formats to date.

The various personalities of the various BQs come across wonderfully, and their near constant arguing and bickering about the nature of the anomaly in question I found to be rather entertaining. On top of that, watching the BQs dwindle at the end was, in my opinion, a solid way to end the piece.

+1.