SCP-3351 / Discussion

This is the discussion related to the wiki page SCP-3351.

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Author's Post: "Let me feel the moon"

Decibelles 03 May 2018 00:15

Thanks to the following:

• The Great Hippo for grammar, wording, clinical tone and phrasing fixes, as well as article suggestions.
• A Random Day for clinical tone fixes.
• DolphinSlugchugger for grammar and general feedback.
• thedeadlymoose because even though I implemented none of your changes, it still inspired me in which direction to go in a bit better.

If I forgot anyone, lemme know.

I wrote the draft to this after getting high and envisioning seeing the anomaly described here in-person. I felt compelled to write it almost immediately, and then I cleaned it up afterwards over the next twelve days.

GoI tags are accurate; don't change or remove.

Last edited on 03 May 2018 00:22 by Decibelles Show more

Translations and Readings

Decibelles 03 May 2018 23:33

To promote translations and readings of my work and thank all the authors for their hard work, I am linking to them here in addition to my author page.

Translations

• Chinese by Hannah_AI
• Japanese by ukarayakara
• Polish by Khnyber
• Portuguese by cauazinlindaum

Readings

• Doctor Cimmerian
• Purgatoris
• SCP情報局

Thank you all!

Last edited on 21 Jun 2018 18:42 by Decibelles Show more

Captain Kirby 03 May 2018 00:21

For some reason I have a weakness for environmentally friendly skips. Maybe it’s because where I grew up they promoted recycling and public transportation like there’s no tomorrow.

+1 for mist awareness!

NatVoltaic 03 May 2018 00:28

That last line made everything click in place very well.

+1

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How do you expect to outwrite me when I have already written?
SCP Author Page - DeviantArt

ch00bakka 03 May 2018 00:32

I upvoted it because i like the small changes you made from the draft I saw, but why is this tagged "gamers-against-weed"? Is it just invisible backstory? (I'm assuming the Fifthist tag is because of the "star-shaped objects".)

Decibelles 03 May 2018 00:33

It was created by GAW member CommunismAnarchismNihilism which is referenced by both the title of the skip (also referring to what the skip visualizes) as well as the artist callsign.

TL333s 03 May 2018 12:45

"Doctor Wondertainment's Inflatable Invasion"?

I don't honestly get this one, and seeing the explanation does nothing for me.

NanayaMode 03 May 2018 13:08

It's 3351, not 3551.

TL333s 03 May 2018 13:11

I guess I really am dyslexic. :/

Adrian Godet 03 May 2018 00:59

Beautiful use of imagery.

multizig 03 May 2018 01:03

GaW strikes again.
+1

Hannah_AI 03 May 2018 03:18

I have translated this article into Chinese.

Beautiful article and good skip, and I upvote this because of the last line.

Decibelles 03 May 2018 03:21

I'm glad you enjoyed! Thank you so much for translating!!

Doctor Cimmerian 03 May 2018 09:58

Had to downvote this, reasoning below:

+ show block

I feel like I'm missing something here. At first I thought it was some other article that'd contextualize this but Deci says this stands on its own so I maybe I'm missing something in the article itself. I'm willing to accept that maybe it's me if someone can clue me in on what I'm not getting.

I don't, for instance, understand why the last line has a strong impact on people. There's no aha moment there, since one can tell by the middle of the article that the thing has an environmental bent. The conclusion just seems like a natural direction to take it with no real subversion of expectations (and even if it was subverting the expectations that you set up one sentence prior; that's a weak execution).

There's also a lot here that just goes unexplained, and not in a "the author leaves it to your imagination" but rather "why isn't there more information in this file, in universe?"

What's the significance of "C A N"?
What's the significance of Ashworth Moor Reservoir?
What can be gleaned from the details available on the exaggerated earths?

Also: I could excuse the Foundation not making a direct connection to the Fifthists in the article if it was longer. But when so many of the very limited details point to Fives, the Foundation probably oughta notice. Five earths, .5 mm, 5AM, 5³ minutes of manifestation… they didn't notice any of that and at least deem it worthy of investigation or mention?

Summary and TL:DR:

What's here is impeccably written and has incredibly potential, but doesn't capitalize on that potential. I don't need every article to be a 3,000+ worder, but if you're going for something this short it may behoove you to avoid including so many unfired guns. By the end I was just left unsatisfied with the article, and that's not the reaction I imagine I was supposed to have.

Last edited on 03 May 2018 12:56 by Doctor Cimmerian Show more

MegalomaniacInchworm 03 May 2018 14:20

C A N is CommunismAnarchismNihilism, the GAW member that made it. The Foundation doesn't seem to overtly notice the preponderance of fives in most Fifthist articles; and the skip is basically saying, 'hey, world is kinda ending, guys. Maybe help out a little, go green, and eldritch abominations and global warming won't gangbang us into extinction.'

Decibelles 03 May 2018 18:15

Also: I could excuse the Foundation not making a direct connection to the Fifthists in the article if it was longer. But when so many of the very limited details point to Fives, the Foundation probably oughta notice. Five earths, .5 mm, 5AM, 53 minutes of manifestation… they didn't notice any of that and at least deem it worthy of investigation or mention?

It’s irrelevant to put in my article because it’s info the reader can already infer for themselves, the Foundation doesn’t always point out or state the 5 (theres also some 6) numberology at play in things and even if they knew, its added fluff to my article that doesn’t cleanly fit anywhere.

LordBlaze 03 May 2018 18:26

This feels like it has some connection to lily-s-proposal which adds a nice buff to the intrigue behind it.

Good work.
+1

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The Holy Warrior walked. It had been a long time since he'd walked this far, but he was used to walking nonetheless.

Mendelssohn 03 May 2018 23:26

The imagery is surreal, intriguing and creative, but it ultimately feels a little…thin? Overly simplistic? Holding off on voting until I figure this out. Most likely going for the novote.

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