Thanks to the following:
The Great Hippo for grammar, wording, clinical tone and phrasing fixes, as well as article suggestions.
A Random Day for clinical tone fixes.
DolphinSlugchugger for grammar and general feedback.
thedeadlymoose because even though I implemented none of your changes, it still inspired me in which direction to go in a bit better.
If I forgot anyone, lemme know.
I wrote the draft to this after getting high and envisioning seeing the anomaly described here in-person. I felt compelled to write it almost immediately, and then I cleaned it up afterwards over the next twelve days.
GoI tags are accurate; don't change or remove.