(account deleted) 21 Aug 2012 22:48
I think this may be the very first underwear SCP I've ever seen.
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(account deleted) 21 Aug 2012 22:48
Upvoted, although I'm disappointed mentions of autodefenestration are no longer present.
Since it was determined "autodefenestration" is only death by jumping from a window and not just off of a building, it seemed better to let the 5-dollar word die a graceful death and actually explain what I wanted to explain. :)
Interesting concept. I would suggest, however, that you state your procedures in the affirmative, rather than by exception:
Specimens of SCP-1388 may be stored in individual standard 20cm small item containers, with the caveat that only opaque containers may be used.
This reads better as:
Specimens of SCP-1388 are to be stored exclusively in opaque 20 cm small item containers.
Thanks for the insight, the tone is surprisingly difficult to nail. I think that's a solid suggestion. Will make the change.
Currently two specimens are in Foundation custody, apparently identical as though from the same package.
I don't like this, and I think the article would be better off if it was removed.
*Specifically the "apparently identical as though from the same package" part.
However, the victim never recovered from sedation and was taken off life support October 5, 200█.
Wait, what kind of sedative are we using that it will put someone in a permanent coma?
Those aside, I'm not much of a fan of super stretchy underwear that gives people the delusion of superpowers (which leads to them killing themselves in really stupid ways rather than leading them to attempt vigilantism which then leads to stupid deaths.)
I should've thought about death by vigilantism but alas. A good punchline left to waste.
EDIT: Though, the rate at which the effects manifest make it difficult for the wearer to try and stop, say, a mugging on the street. Maybe. I don't live in NYC or London though. The raised endorphins and "superpower" make them more likely to do something rash or demonstrate their powers than even have an opportunity to try and use their powers for good.
I snipped the "as though from the same package" bit, that was stream-of-conciousness and it made it through several rounds of editing. It's a little too hacky to stand scrutiny.
I appreciate the input, thanks for reading.
The concept didn't really interest me, and I don't like the way you just rattled on with the "It does this then this then this" style of writing. Didn't flow well for me, and I always find that to be a deal-breaker.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
I appreciate the feedback. Any thoughts on how to better present it or are you thinking a more extreme overhaul?
The latter. And the concept didn't interest me, so it would still draw more of a neutral vote from me even if you did that. I seem to be in the minority on this one, so you're probably safe leaving it as-is. That's just how I feel.
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you!
I like the concept. The problem you're up against is that the concept is more silly than scary or mysterious. Sorry, but I can't really take the idea of scary stretchy underpants seriously.
That said, I find magic underpants a lot more interesting than a magic ring or belt or any other part of a traditional superhero costume. I'm not saying this would be better suited to a -J, just that you've got a really high hill to overcome before I'd find this item at the same emotional intensity as other favorite SCPs. Boa Noah has an interesting idea in death-by-vigilantism. I think that'd be worth exploring because there's more of a range of death-styles to play around with.
At heart, it's a compulsive item what crazies you to death. I have to downvote.
Understandable, I get the "crazy to death" backlash. Wanted to post it all the same; I feel like my first few will probably suck and I want to get them out of the way, and the concept wouldn't leave me alone. I got a laugh out of writing it anyway. I appreciate the explanation for the downvote.
I feel like my first few will probably suck and I want to get them out of the way, and the concept wouldn't leave me alone.
Actually, I wouldn't say this sucks at all, mostly it's that the idea doesn't grab me. The fact that you're in the net positive in terms of votes indicates that you've succeeded. I'll admit to being a picky bastard when it comes to SCPs.
House MD did this first, and it was more interesting and quite frankly more frightening. The execution is rather flat, and I'm not a fan of objects what compulse you to use them for no reason other than to activate their various effects.
I don't watch House but that's funny. It's not such a wildly interesting idea. Appreciate the input.
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page revision: 7, last edited: 17 Nov 2020 06:16
