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Summary deletions result for:
SCP-3124 is a creature that is 3 meters wide and 6 meters in length. The creature is a pinkish red color. It has a circular mouth that opens up to show 3000 individual sharp teeth that have been know to cut through iron. Around the head is 4 spider-like limbs with nails that have been known to cut through bone. The body, going down, is worm like and is covered in an unknown mucus. It has 2 small dinosaur-like arms halfway down the body, however it is unknown what they are used for. The creature has 4 massive spider like legs that hold the creature up.
Deleted at -20 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
It is typically a good idea to try to stick to the standard SCP document format, which consists of, in order, an "Item #" which is the SCP number of the object, an "Object Class" which is typically Safe, Euclid or Keter, "Special Containment Procedures" which detail how it is kept in containment, a "Description" which provides details about the object's appearance, behaviour and anomalous properties, and one or more optional addenda which contain additional information such as test logs. Recovery details should usually come after a description of the object.
I suggest you read the guide on how to write an SCP, then create a sandbox here for your unfinished drafts. Before you post, use the drafts and critique forum or the IRC chat to get feedback on your work.
As for this article, I'm not sure what to say. Your tone could use some work - try to sound professional and 'robotic'. Do not use colloquialisms, avoid run-on sentences, and make your descriptions cold and emotionless. The article's core idea could use quite a bit of work as well. Creatures and entities, especially intelligent ones, are very difficult for your first SCP because they take considerable skill to do well. A good intelligent anomaly has a detailed personality with more than a single trait, realistic emotions, and acts as a real person might.
Also, it's a good idea to think about the object's origins. Is it man-made? If so, who built it? Did it come from a parallel universe? If it did, then why is it here? Why does it do what it does? Why does it possess certain traits?
It's also good to keep in mind that SCPs aren't just about the object, they're a means of telling a story. All popular SCP articles use the SCP document format to tell a story. It's not enough to just have a really cool monster, it has to tell a story and create emotions in the reader.
I hope this was helpful. Don't give up because your first article didn't do well, you can and will improve if you stick with it. Good luck!
SCP-3127 is a abandon house located in ████, Siberia Russia. SCP-3127 is a house with many anomalous properties such as humanoid figures and a pocket dimension. Any creature that enters the second floor of SCP-3127 will instantaneously disappear and appears in the pocket dimension, since there is no oxygen in this dimension the person will suffocate in a matter of seconds or minutes. As for SCP-3127-A and SCP-3127-B are humanoid figures approximately 6ft tall and seem to be middle aged adult humans ranging from 45 to 50 and are extremely agile and there skin color is dark black. They will stalk any person inside the house until they leave, go upstairs or dying from the high concentrations of CO2 in the area there have been no answer to why there is CO2 and how the residence are not effected from the CO2 the foundation has though about making them SCPs but the foundation dismissed that accusation due to it not being so noticeable.
Deleted at -21 and three votes.
SCP-3431 appears to be a male humanoid of about 1.7 meters in height. It appears to be wearing a black shirt, shorts, sunglasses, and a white sheet, although these articles have been found to be attached to its body and made of organic matter (see addendum 3431.2). SCP-3431 is capable of moving its white flap independently of all other muscles and limbs, and can use this flap to climb and stick to walls. SCP-3431 appears to possess moderate intelligence, and is capable of complex English speech (see addendum 3431.3). Despite this, SCP-3431 does not readily engage in social interaction, and is mostly silent and solitary, with occasional bouts of incoherent muttering. However, SCP-3431’s behavior becomes radically altered by the presence of human females (see addendum 3431.1). This presence will cause SCP-3431 to become extremely violent and attempt to get as close to the detected female as possible. When in this state, SCP-3431 has shown strength and speed above that of an average human.
Deleted at -24 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
It's not really clear what the anomaly or story here is apart from being a guy who kills people with some implied rape. The dialogue in the interview isn't bad, it feels realistic enough, but most of the description suffers from errors ranging from inconsistent capitalization to overuse of "scare quotes". I'd read more recent material and maybe try to get some feedback before posting next time, especially for a humanoid article.
Also that picture is stupidly over sized, more than 5 megabytes is way too big.
SCP-26 has the silhouette of a humanoid with a height of 179 cm and a mesomorphic build. The subject's body does not interact with light and is therefore invisible. However, the entity interacts physically with any matter. Its appearance is estimated by the holes in walls or any other solid material it creates when moving or the displacement of smoke and dust by the subject, summarily deleted at -13 with ChaoSera witnessing for being out of range/a number currently in use.
Feedback ported:
http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-026
the containment procedures really do need to be more than one sentence, and frankly, something that cant be contained or destroyed and we're just supposed to clean up after it isn't all that interesting.
MyFirstTale, In my life I have never cried, Nor have I smiled caught in a storm of frustration left in the worst place. None Have walked the same path as I, Nor will anyone again. For I am a proffessional memeologist Doctor.BookDockSockRocketScienceScientistEnzymeElaborat, -36 and three staff votes.
SCP-3309 is a [REDACTED] 1.8 oz. Air Horn found in [REDACTED], Texas. any attempt to use or destroy SCP-3309 will result in SCP-3309 being activated, this will make an extremely high frequency noise, labeled as SCP-3309-1 that spans a 5 meter radius, any human within this radius will begin to grasp their heads and scream for 5 minutes, thus beginning their transformation into SCP-3309-2, -22 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
If it's activated by an attempt to use or destroy it, it should be Safe. Just put it in a box, put the box in a locker.
If you haven't already, please read through the helpful Guides in the pull down menu. Creating a sandbox for posting works in progress is strongly recommended; this enables other members to review your drafts and give you input and criticism. Posting something to the mainlist without those steps will almost certainly result in multiple downvotes.
First off, I would like to say that I really do enjoy the concept of this SCP. It's simple. Arguably a bit too simple however.
This SCP could of really benefited from some sort of log of info about the event(s) that caused it to be discovered by the foundation. Perhaps it caused a horrific incident during a football game. Or maybe it was discovered at a sketchy abandoned prank store. It just seems to lack that bit of extra info that gives it intrigue
SCP-3134 is an organism resembling a spherical mass of canine extremities, mouths, and external organs covered in short brown and black fur, measuring 2.5 meters in diameter and 2.3 meters in height. DNA testing reveals SCP-3134 to be some form of Canis familiaris, though attempts to determine any specific breed remain inconclusive, -20 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
For one, the concept is kind of…odd, and doesn't make a lot of sense.
Beyond that, your formatting is very hard on the eyes. Your attributes aren't organized well.
It just comes off as very loosely written, and the tone is all over the place.
Before posting to the mainlist, you're expected to seek feedback. I'd suggest starting with the drafts forums, if you hadn't yet.
Here are my thoughts on this article
CP-3134 is to be given a 5-liter mixture of dog food and raw beef and 5 liters of water twice daily at 10:00 and again at 20:00.
The way you have this written makes it sound like you feed the dog twice at 10:00 and at 20:00, or four times a day.
A better way to phrase this would be "5 liters of water twice daily, once at 10:00 and once at 20:00"
standard containment room
What exactly is a standard containment room? How big is it? What is it made of? The Foundation is a very large and powerful organisation who are very interested in making sure this SCP stays secure, so why would they just use a "standard" room for its containment?
encouraged in order to keep it healthy
Why should the Foundation care that this anomaly is healthy? Now the Foundation aren't out right monsters, but they are cold and clinical. They will only officially care for something's well being if it is in their best interest to do so.
approved cleaning supplies.
What are the approved cleaning supplies? Do they include Bleach or other potentially hazardous materials? What about Soap? This thing may be an anomaly, but it's still biological in nature. It would be ill-advised for the Foundation to take any risks on the potential of disease of anomalous origin spreading.
Those are just my thoughts and you should absolutely get a second opinion if you can.
Overall I like the article, but it can definitely be improved.
The Trails of Eternal Coat-tails, As always, they wait in purgatorial limbo. Around them is nothing, though they are the start of something; but they must wait here until they pass the trial. Between the gates ahead – one beyond the other – awaits the guardians: a Legion, and its Cerberus. The Legion speaks in union and discord as the next runner passes the threshold – the Cerberus gives chase, -20 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
I get what this is going for, but it doesn't do enough with the concept at all. The thing's barely over 100 words, and there's just not enough meat here for me to like it.
Seconding this sentiment. This feels like the note at the end of a meta SCP, devoid of the SCP. It's part of a good picture, but it lacks a frame. It lacks context to engage the reader.
Concurring with those above. I know what this is going for, and I can appreciate it- however, this reaches a level of meta where the point of being meta most likely outshone the narrative this story could have had or the content it could have possessed.
I don't think the problem is that it's uncreative, it's just that there's not enough here for it to stand alone. This is an interesting concept about the site's meta, it just needs to be attached to something more substantial imo.
Lost and Blind, Ah the world is black, dark, empty, desolate, these eyes of mine no longer see the light. As i continue to walk along this path i wonder who i will meet what will i encounter? Will i continue to walk forever? Suddenly I'm stopped by something it feels like a hand, someone grabbing my shoulder it seems. A quiet voice began to talk "if you keep walking along this path you'll be dead", -18 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
I unfortunately found this unreadable due to the combination of extremely long paragraphs and poor punctuation. Skimming over it, words pop out that make me think an interesting story is being told (though one that doesn't seem to have anything to do with the Foundation or SCPs?) but it needs quite a bit of proofreading and revising to make the story accessible to the audience.
Did you make a draft in a sandbox and have this reviewed in the draft forum? I think that really would have helped, and would encourage you to start there if you want to try again with this. It looks like a lot of work went into this, and it would be a shame for it to go unread because of issues that could have been fixed in editing.
SCP-2621 summarily deleted for being a blank article. ChaoSera witnessing.
Fuck summarily deleted by me for being an obvious troll article. Witnessed by LilyFlower.
SCP-3248 is a Taraxacum officinale (Commonly known as a Dandelion), measuring approximately 24 centimeters in height. Branching from it's main stem are two flower heads and one seed head. The seeds of SCP-3248 do not detach from the seed head. It is observed that no matter the condition, SCP-3248 will never be affected by deprivation of sunlight, deprivation of water, or any aging. When the seed head is not being interacted with, SCP-3248 is a completely non-anomalous dandelion, aside from the aforementioned traits. When the seed head of SCP-3248 is touched, the subject will begin to experience hallucinations of previous memories, which normally last around 5-10 minutes. It has been shown that these hallucinations are Most commonly, memories involving the death of a family member or relative are seen. Subjects tend to exhibit extreme emotional distress during these hallucinations. If the subject does not have any memory of any relative or family member dying, they will experience no hallucination. After testing, subjects are shown to have mild memory loss of the events that they saw in the hallucination.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
SCP-3227 a large, black creature of unknown size, with a humanoid appearance. Research has shown that SCP-3227 is composed of an unknown, gaseous material. SCP-3227's origin and intelligence is unknown. SCP-3227 is currently able to change scientific laws, and is very hostile. SCP-3227 was proven to exist when a sudden change in scientific laws occurred. These changes were dangerous but only persisted for a few minutes.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
SCP-3123 is a tree of unknown origin, and cannot be cut down by any means. The tree is non-sentient, however traces of living tissue has been found. SCP-3123 reacts to light quickly, and SCP-3123-2 will not appear, and SCP-3123 becomes docile. SCP-3123-2 is a humanoid young female, apparently naked. No pigments at all in the body and eyes, no retina is found. Descriptions of SCP-3123-2 vary, but almost always is described as this. SCP-3123-2 cannot be caught on camera. Any attempts to has lead both the camera and the person taking to photo being destroyed or missing. Video surveillance is also impossible, as no connection can be made with the camera, due to the effects of being under any type of light.
Deleted at -24 and three votes.
SCP-3987 is a liquid, gel-like substance of unknown origin. An outer coating of transparent liquid surrounds the organism. SCP-3987 will remain dormant unless threatened, in which SCP-3987 will react in a violent manor. Three liquid, gel-like extensions will move towards the person that caused the disruption, and will attempt to pull them into the organism. If this happens, the remaining personnel is to be evacuated from the container. A drainage of the container is to occur, which is the process of water being flushed through the container until the specimen has become dormant and smaller proportioned.
Deleted at -17 per author request. Tuomey Tombstone witnessing.
Both SCP-3128-01 and SCP-3128-02 are shadowy entities that are approximately 1.5 meters tall and closely linked to a door. SCP-3128-01 has a painted red oak door and SCP-3128-02 has a painted white oak door. The doors share no similarities besides being made by oak. Both companies that made the door have been tracked down but they do not have any records of making the doors. The biggest difference between SCP-3128-01 and SCP-3128-02 is their temperature difference. SCP-3128-01 is about -20°C (-4°F) while SCP-3128-02 is about 40°C (104°F). SCP-3128-01 will knock on the door between the hours of 2-4AM (timezone not relevant) and SCP-3128-02 knocks between the hours of 3-6PM (timezone not relevant). If a person opens the door after the knock from SCP-3128 within a 10 minute period, the person will suddenly disappear. It is unknown what happens to victims of SCP-3128. If another person is the room, one of two things will happen:
1) They will also disappear
2) They will have no memory of the other person even existing nor any memory of the past few minutes.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
[3767 is a male of unknown origin and age. 3767 has the appearance of a greek style of statue similar to 343. 3767 was found in a remote village in the lands of Ireland. He has said that he has no Irish heritage or what the Irish even are he “Just liked the view” The SCP Foundation staff at site ██ found 3767 as a researcher was on a trip and found the small town after he was lost. The apparent village people thought of him as a god for healing any wound that anyone had, He did in fact had unknown magical properties and was shortly taken by the foundation. The village was given class A emestices but failed as 3767’s healing ability countered the drug. The villagers under the age of 12 were brought into Foundation custody and people 13-21 went into Foundation custody and were assigned as D-class personnel at site ██, the rest of the villagers where about's are unknown. 3767 was brought in for questioning, Here are the transcripts.]
Deleted at -18 and three votes.
SCP-3533 is a circus tent at the ███████ fairgrounds in ██████, Missouri, United States. Upon entering SCP-3533, the person entering will be greeted by a "staff member" of SCP-3533 (hereafter dubbed SCP-3533-1). SCP-3533-1 seem to be humans that appear and speak similarly to a stereotypical American carnival worker. The SCP-3533-1 instance will immediately prompt the person to play a spin-the-wheel type game located inside of SCP-3533. The wheel is labeled with ██ supernatural properties. Including Clairvoyance, Telepathy, Telekinesis, and [REDACTED].
Deleted at -16 and three votes.
SCP-3327 is a sphere with a radius of ~36 cm. It appears to be made of a previously undocumented type of energy. As of communicate through frequency ████ see interview log 3327-1 it appears to only speak a form of pre-Latin and seems to have no knowledge of current events. It appears to be highly intelligent with an IQ of 327. the entity negatively reacts with weapons of any sort see Addendum 3327-23 for details. after further testing -3327 has been found to be able to posses people with an IQ of 100 or lower and retain the knowledge of each subject it posses see Addendum 3327-38.
Deleted at -32 and three votes.
Supplement pages for this skip have likewise been deleted.
Feedback Ported:
Overall, the containment procedures are dreadful, and this thing is a ball that speaks in radio waves and possesses dumb people. This was terribly executed (bad SPaG and formatting, possessing little in the way of substance or interest, as well as gratuitous use of both redacted data and overkill containment), and I don't think the basic concept really works in the first place.
Yeah, I'm here to dish out constructive criticism. I like to think that's my job, but that's just me being full of myself. Anyways, read on!
site 27, site 66, site██.
Alright, let's start with this. First off, 'site' (all of them) should be capitalized. Same as cities, countries, and towns are capitalized. Also, if you want to indicate that it's moved sites (plural does not apply sometimes, you just need to capitalize specific sites) several times, put that in the description or in an addendum.
It is to be kept in the eastern most containment room with a crucifix at dead center of each wall and a ham radio channeled to frequency████.
Er, what? I mean, you get points for creativity in containment, but that's oddly specific. Try wording it like saying it should be kept in the East Wing of the site, perhaps? It just comes off weird. Also, perhaps 'ham' should be capitalized, or replace it with the other name for that type of radio, since it's also called Amateur Radio (from what I can collect). And a space between the word frequency and the blacked-out number is common sense. Even if it's a small mistake, you gotta deal with it.
security personnel are to be posted outside with noise cancelling headphones
Security here should be capitalized. Besides that, this sentence doesn't really need fixing, aside from possibly adding 'the containment cell' after 'outside'.
after the events of SCP-3327-13 personnel are also to remain unarmed.
After should be capitalized. Also, this is the Foundation. I'm pretty sure even the researchers are armed in some way. Between the D-Class and the possibility of a breach, it's a bit impractical for security forces to be unarmed.
If SCP-3327 escapes containment all personnel on sight with an IQ of 100 or lower are to be terminated immediately.
I understand this is the Foundation, and most of the people working on the Site (it's Site, not sight) are likely very intelligent, but looking up the statistics, maybe 50%-55% of the human population is in that <100 range. That's probably including a sizable chunk of the D-Class personnel, not to mention staff that aren't actually researchers. That'd be pretty damn pricey. But I can understand it, maybe lower it to <85? That figure would mean that all personnel terminated would have to have a below-average IQ.
Remaining personal are to remain unarmed and maintain radio silence.
Yeah, no, this is getting to the point that perhaps this thing should be in an isolated (one-SCP) site. If it breaches, odds are that at least one other SCP is gonna use that as a window to breach as well. That's fine and dandy, happens all the time. But having all staff be unarmed and keeping radio silence during a breach? That's a recipe for disaster.
containment team [DATA EXPUNGED] are to be dispatched
Again, capitalize the first word of a sentence. And there's a guide to containment teams on site, so you could choose an appropriate one from there, or even make up one yourself.
with an electro thermonuclear ordnance
That- That doesn't exist. Are you talking about a nuke? You want a containment team to carry a NUCLEAR BOMB through a Site, during a breach, all while maintaining radio silence and remaining unarmed? I don't know how to feel about that, that just terrifies me and confuses me at the same time. Just don't do that. Sites sometimes have nuclear warheads already at the ready underneath or in the Site that can be remotely detonated. Just mention that.
any surviving personnel are to be terminated along with surrounding settlements.
That's very, very overkill. I know this thing is Keter, man, but remember, the Foundation does not have all the money in the world. Same goes for the next sentence after this.
Anyways, there's my evaluation. Some of these things might be overlooked anyways by most, but the SCP Foundation tries to stay realistic. Well, as realistic as a secret agency collecting absolutely weird shit can be.
SCP-3161 appears to be an approximately 25 years old male, and appears to have incredibly fast and advanced healing properties. Any injury or wound inflicted on SCP-3161 will be completely healed in a matter of seconds making impossible the collection of samples for further testing. Any attempt to collect or harm SCP-3161 has failed, SCP-3161's skin is extremely tough and have coagulation of blood in every scar and recent wound, his healing capabilities have yet to be measured, but he presented an extremely advanced type of healing, capable of healing even brain cells, which it's impossible to do, even with current technology.
Deleted at -16 and three votes.
SCP-3752 is a location approximately 6 km2 in area located in ██████ County, Texas, U.S.A. SCP-3752 contains approximately ██ instances of SCP-3752-A, which are oil drilling derricks constructed circa 19██. The area of SCP-3752 was once under the ownership of the ██████ County General Oil Company, defunct since 19██, when SCP-3752-A's properties began after construction in the area.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
SCP-3939 self-deleted to (hopefully) make room for something better.
SCP-3123 is a barn that was constructed in ████. This sight came under the attention of the foundation after a neighbor who works for the foundation saw that their neighbors cattle seemed to be multiplying. The owners of SCP-3123, named █████ and █████ ████████, were investigated after this and the owners said that there cattle was multiplying but they didn't know why. The owners were then given class-F amnestics and they were given a home in the nearby city of ██████.
Deleted at -19 and three votes.
SCP-3124 resembles a server in "Minecraft", a game created by Mojang AB. Prior to containment, the server was able to be reached by entering the IP MC.Qv32.no-ip.com. Upon login, the victim would find themselves playing on the server normally, but upon looking backwards, they would find themselves translocated to SCP-3124-1. This is described as excruciatingly painful and violent. They will then fall unconscious and be fully aware of the change. No instances of humans escaping SCP-3124-1 have been recorded.
Deleted at -24 and three votes.
SCP-3904:
-Subject is a teen female, approximately 16, name unknown, brown hair, brown eyes, with multiple sicknesses, none of which are fatal or contagious.
-Subject seems to have slight cognitive problems, with shaky hands and occasional stuttering, specifically when under stress.
-subject seems to be dulled to certain emotions some days, and highly susceptible to mood swings the next (as is common for adolescent teens).
-subject favors meat, junk food, and has particular cravings for (redacted) brand soda. It is believed scp036 is addicted to one of the chemicals used to make it.
-subject is allowed to draw with a dull pencil and markers, to avoid emotional buildups leading to (redacted).
Deleted at -33 and four votes.
SCP-3898 is an anomalous occurrence that manifests in the state of Michigan. There are currently ██ instances of SCP-3898 that are known to the Foundation. Affected areas can extend from 9 meters to 30 kilometers.Areas affected by SCP-3898 have a center which is usually occupied by a house or apartment building.
Deleted at -16 and three votes.
SCP-3991 is humanoid in appearance standing at 2.4 m tall and weighs 93.5 kg; the foundation has been incapable of studying its facial features or body features as it is covered in a thick black cloud and is capable of melting into a shadow taking full control of the caster of the shadow. no samples have been taken off the cloud covering SCP-3991 as when it looses contact with the SCP's body it will disappear and regenerate back onto SCP-3991's body. SCP-3991 was discovered in ██████ Russia. SCP-3991 is capable of speak but dose not tend to interact with agents but prefers to interact towards other SCP's as it has had conversations with SCP-049. SCP-3991 has a deep voice of an old Russian man. SCP-3991 has only once made contact with doctor ████████. SCP-3991 has been shown do be very manipulative over people and has tried to get people to open the door to its cell more then once but has never succeeded. people who have been manipulated have reported seeing hallucinations of a close friend or relative being contained in SCP-3991's holding cell.
Deleted at -21 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
Greetings author. Unfortunately, your article has quite a few issues which has caused it to dip into the negatives. Let's take a look and see what went wrong so we can improve.
Firstly, you need to bold your title headings (Item #:, Description:, etc)
SCP-3991 Is to be contained in a fully lit room at all times and must not be let out under any circumstances.
Don't need to capitalize "Is" right after the SCP number.
Only people with a clearance level 4 or higher are allowed to enter and must be equipped with a torch.
So Level 4 clearance is generally given to the likes of Site Administrators or Mobile Task Force Commanders. Why is the level of clearance to interact with this entity so high, and why would people with such clearance want to interact with it?
Also, a torch, really? A flashlight or headlight is more modern and would work much better, heck even a lamp would be a step up.
As SCP-3991 is not allowed to leave the cell there have been cameras and microphones placed into the cell as well as a window were the doctor can interview SCP-3991 without going into the room.
Then this sentence makes the prior one moot. Why would anyone need to enter its cell at all if you can communicate with it from a different room?
SCP-3991 is humanoid in appearance standing at 2.4 m tall and weighs 93.5 kg; the foundation has been incapable of studying its facial features or body features as it is covered in a thick black cloud and is capable of melting into a shadow taking full control of the caster of the shadow.
Poor grammar here, and your clinical tone begins to break down when describing the entity's appearance. I would try rewording a few things, and probably making this two separate sentences.
no samples have been taken off the cloud covering SCP-3991
Capitalize "no"
SCP-3991 is capable of speak but dose not tend to interact with agents but prefers to interact towards other SCP's as it has had conversations with SCP-049.
SCP-049. SCP-3991 has a deep voice of an old Russian man and has only once made contact with doctor ████████.
Should be: Dr. ████████
Why is his name censored though?
SCP-3991 has been shown do be very manipulative over people and has tried to get people to open the door to its cell more then once but has never succeeded.
people who have been manipulated have reported seeing hallucinations of a close friend or relative being contained in SCP-3991's holding cell.
Capitalize "people"
when coming close to water SCP-3991's cloud will spreed making SCP-3991 look much bigger then it actually is. we have tried to see if it reacts the same with any other object but so fr it seems that it only reacts to liquid objects.
Addendum: SCP-3991 has had full interaction with doctor ████████ today.
You need to bold "Addendum:" and capitalize the first word of every sentence here.
Your interview also need to be formatted correctly. See here under the "Templates" tab. I would also suggest making it collapsible. Furthermore, I don't feel as if this added anything to overall narrative. It just made this SCP sound like a smug asshole, while also being far too vague.
Summary: So I just mentioned narrative here, and I think that's where the biggest problem is, there really isn't any. This is just some shadow monster, there's no story or even character to it. Articles ought to have some kind of narrative to them, a hook and story to keep readers interested and engaged. I would say take this back to the Sandbox Site and work on it more. Don't forget to stop at the ever helpful Drafts & Critiques Forum before posting again. Best of luck to you!
SCP-3474 is a 7-foot tall organism with red pigmented fur all over its body, but has a human head and face. The body of this SCP is very bulky but limp at the same time. It has been described to be puppet-like in movement. This SCP was found roaming in the wilderness of ████████████, USA despite for company. Level 4 SCP agents were sent by helicopter to tranquilize SCP-3474 and bring it to the ████████████ HQ. One agent noted this SCP should have been able to kill him with brute strength in an instant, but it lacked the will to fight back. It was later determined that it did not need high-security containment so it was placed in an abandoned YMCA at the outskirts of ████████████. SCP-3474 has a single carrier that feeds him asparagus 3 or 4 times a month.
Deleted at -22 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
Okay, so, crit time.
The good bits:
You've got some effective imagery, and the creature itself is interesting without being overkill. An abandoned swimming pool is a good setting with lots of potential, and the fact that it doesn't seem to have any strength of character or will to fight back sets it apart from a lot of other humanoids. These components (though possibly not the red hair, see below) are the parts you should keep if you ever re-write this.
The bad bits:
Unfortunately, the narrative behind it is about as lacking as it could be. There's a monster, but nothing to hint at anything more about it, rendering it dull and unappealing in the eyes of the reader. Modern day articles have to tell a story, or at least provide an interesting setting in which stories could be told. Imagery is a key factor, but can't carry an article on its own.
The really bad bits:
I'll be brief: you didn't come up with the idea. The imagery is good, which is part of the reason the original video is so popular; you can't just lift an idea wholesale from somewhere else and pass it off as your own. It isn't inspired by the video, it is the video, just dressed up in a different format. The only reason SCP-173 gets away with a copyright notice at the bottom is because a) it was the first SCP article ever, and b) the wiki got explicit permission from the artist to use it. People won't put up with out-of-universe portions unless the rest is good enough to warrant an upvote on its own.
TL;DR:
Include more of a story, and use some of your own ideas to make this a workable concept.
SCP-3416 is a two-story house about 10ft 3cm tall and is painted, Olive and White. It was originally discovered in █████, North Carolina. It was originally brought to the Foundations attention when reports of screaming and loud banging were being heard by the neighbors. Two Foundation personnel dressed as local police force went to the house to inspect the site. Three hours later, the house was deemed as an Anomalous building site.
Deleted at -20 and three votes.
SCP-3978 is an unknown humanoid being that is approximately 9 to 10 metres tall and 2 metres wide. SCP-3978 takes refuge in an abandoned asylum and school in a barren valley near Moscow, Russia.
Deleted at -26 and three votes.
