SCP-3123 is a barn that was constructed in ████. This sight came under the attention of the foundation after a neighbor who works for the foundation saw that their neighbors cattle seemed to be multiplying. The owners of SCP-3123, named █████ and █████ ████████, were investigated after this and the owners said that there cattle was multiplying but they didn't know why. The owners were then given class-F amnestics and they were given a home in the nearby city of ██████.
Deleted at -19 and three votes.
SCP-3124 resembles a server in "Minecraft", a game created by Mojang AB. Prior to containment, the server was able to be reached by entering the IP MC.Qv32.no-ip.com. Upon login, the victim would find themselves playing on the server normally, but upon looking backwards, they would find themselves translocated to SCP-3124-1. This is described as excruciatingly painful and violent. They will then fall unconscious and be fully aware of the change. No instances of humans escaping SCP-3124-1 have been recorded.
Deleted at -24 and three votes.
SCP-3904:
-Subject is a teen female, approximately 16, name unknown, brown hair, brown eyes, with multiple sicknesses, none of which are fatal or contagious.
-Subject seems to have slight cognitive problems, with shaky hands and occasional stuttering, specifically when under stress.
-subject seems to be dulled to certain emotions some days, and highly susceptible to mood swings the next (as is common for adolescent teens).
-subject favors meat, junk food, and has particular cravings for (redacted) brand soda. It is believed scp036 is addicted to one of the chemicals used to make it.
-subject is allowed to draw with a dull pencil and markers, to avoid emotional buildups leading to (redacted).
Deleted at -33 and four votes.
SCP-3898 is an anomalous occurrence that manifests in the state of Michigan. There are currently ██ instances of SCP-3898 that are known to the Foundation. Affected areas can extend from 9 meters to 30 kilometers.Areas affected by SCP-3898 have a center which is usually occupied by a house or apartment building.
Deleted at -16 and three votes.
SCP-3991 is humanoid in appearance standing at 2.4 m tall and weighs 93.5 kg; the foundation has been incapable of studying its facial features or body features as it is covered in a thick black cloud and is capable of melting into a shadow taking full control of the caster of the shadow. no samples have been taken off the cloud covering SCP-3991 as when it looses contact with the SCP's body it will disappear and regenerate back onto SCP-3991's body. SCP-3991 was discovered in ██████ Russia. SCP-3991 is capable of speak but dose not tend to interact with agents but prefers to interact towards other SCP's as it has had conversations with SCP-049. SCP-3991 has a deep voice of an old Russian man. SCP-3991 has only once made contact with doctor ████████. SCP-3991 has been shown do be very manipulative over people and has tried to get people to open the door to its cell more then once but has never succeeded. people who have been manipulated have reported seeing hallucinations of a close friend or relative being contained in SCP-3991's holding cell.
Deleted at -21 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
Gilgamesh of Uruk
Greetings author. Unfortunately, your article has quite a few issues which has caused it to dip into the negatives. Let's take a look and see what went wrong so we can improve.
Firstly, you need to bold your title headings (Item #:, Description:, etc)
SCP-3991 Is to be contained in a fully lit room at all times and must not be let out under any circumstances.
Don't need to capitalize "Is" right after the SCP number.
Only people with a clearance level 4 or higher are allowed to enter and must be equipped with a torch.
So Level 4 clearance is generally given to the likes of Site Administrators or Mobile Task Force Commanders. Why is the level of clearance to interact with this entity so high, and why would people with such clearance want to interact with it?
Also, a torch, really? A flashlight or headlight is more modern and would work much better, heck even a lamp would be a step up.
As SCP-3991 is not allowed to leave the cell there have been cameras and microphones placed into the cell as well as a window were the doctor can interview SCP-3991 without going into the room.
Then this sentence makes the prior one moot. Why would anyone need to enter its cell at all if you can communicate with it from a different room?
SCP-3991 is humanoid in appearance standing at 2.4 m tall and weighs 93.5 kg; the foundation has been incapable of studying its facial features or body features as it is covered in a thick black cloud and is capable of melting into a shadow taking full control of the caster of the shadow.
Poor grammar here, and your clinical tone begins to break down when describing the entity's appearance. I would try rewording a few things, and probably making this two separate sentences.
no samples have been taken off the cloud covering SCP-3991
Capitalize "no"
SCP-3991 is capable of speak but dose not tend to interact with agents but prefers to interact towards other SCP's as it has had conversations with SCP-049.
- Should be: is capable of speech, but does not
- Why even mention SCP-049? It just seems to be a callback to a Series 1 article just for the sake of being a callback.
- I would add a comma after "agents".
SCP-049. SCP-3991 has a deep voice of an old Russian man and has only once made contact with doctor ████████.
Should be: Dr. ████████
Why is his name censored though?
SCP-3991 has been shown do be very manipulative over people and has tried to get people to open the door to its cell more then once but has never succeeded.
- Change "do" to "to"
- Needs a couple commas.
people who have been manipulated have reported seeing hallucinations of a close friend or relative being contained in SCP-3991's holding cell.
Capitalize "people"
when coming close to water SCP-3991's cloud will spreed making SCP-3991 look much bigger then it actually is. we have tried to see if it reacts the same with any other object but so fr it seems that it only reacts to liquid objects.
- Capitalize "when" and "we"
- Change "spreed" to "spread"
- Add an a to "fr"
Addendum: SCP-3991 has had full interaction with doctor ████████ today.
You need to bold "Addendum:" and capitalize the first word of every sentence here.
Your interview also need to be formatted correctly. See here under the "Templates" tab. I would also suggest making it collapsible. Furthermore, I don't feel as if this added anything to overall narrative. It just made this SCP sound like a smug asshole, while also being far too vague.
Summary: So I just mentioned narrative here, and I think that's where the biggest problem is, there really isn't any. This is just some shadow monster, there's no story or even character to it. Articles ought to have some kind of narrative to them, a hook and story to keep readers interested and engaged. I would say take this back to the Sandbox Site and work on it more. Don't forget to stop at the ever helpful Drafts & Critiques Forum before posting again. Best of luck to you!
SCP-3474 is a 7-foot tall organism with red pigmented fur all over its body, but has a human head and face. The body of this SCP is very bulky but limp at the same time. It has been described to be puppet-like in movement. This SCP was found roaming in the wilderness of ████████████, USA despite for company. Level 4 SCP agents were sent by helicopter to tranquilize SCP-3474 and bring it to the ████████████ HQ. One agent noted this SCP should have been able to kill him with brute strength in an instant, but it lacked the will to fight back. It was later determined that it did not need high-security containment so it was placed in an abandoned YMCA at the outskirts of ████████████. SCP-3474 has a single carrier that feeds him asparagus 3 or 4 times a month.
Deleted at -22 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
MaliceAforethought
Okay, so, crit time.
The good bits:
You've got some effective imagery, and the creature itself is interesting without being overkill. An abandoned swimming pool is a good setting with lots of potential, and the fact that it doesn't seem to have any strength of character or will to fight back sets it apart from a lot of other humanoids. These components (though possibly not the red hair, see below) are the parts you should keep if you ever re-write this.
The bad bits:
Unfortunately, the narrative behind it is about as lacking as it could be. There's a monster, but nothing to hint at anything more about it, rendering it dull and unappealing in the eyes of the reader. Modern day articles have to tell a story, or at least provide an interesting setting in which stories could be told. Imagery is a key factor, but can't carry an article on its own.
The really bad bits:
I'll be brief: you didn't come up with the idea. The imagery is good, which is part of the reason the original video is so popular; you can't just lift an idea wholesale from somewhere else and pass it off as your own. It isn't inspired by the video, it is the video, just dressed up in a different format. The only reason SCP-173 gets away with a copyright notice at the bottom is because a) it was the first SCP article ever, and b) the wiki got explicit permission from the artist to use it. People won't put up with out-of-universe portions unless the rest is good enough to warrant an upvote on its own.
TL;DR:
Include more of a story, and use some of your own ideas to make this a workable concept.
SCP-3416 is a two-story house about 10ft 3cm tall and is painted, Olive and White. It was originally discovered in █████, North Carolina. It was originally brought to the Foundations attention when reports of screaming and loud banging were being heard by the neighbors. Two Foundation personnel dressed as local police force went to the house to inspect the site. Three hours later, the house was deemed as an Anomalous building site.
Deleted at -20 and three votes.
SCP-3978 is an unknown humanoid being that is approximately 9 to 10 metres tall and 2 metres wide. SCP-3978 takes refuge in an abandoned asylum and school in a barren valley near Moscow, Russia.
Deleted at -26 and three votes.