Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Summary:

This is where I'll post my SCP ideas from now on; feel free to post yours if you want me to try my hand at them.

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Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 21 Dec 2011 04:47

A full list of my SCP articles can be found here.

"Nightstalker"
Basically, this SCP would, at first glance, appear human. However, it would never talk or otherwise express itself, and would behave extremely withdrawn and enigmatic. When exposed to sufficient darkness, it would manifest its creepiness: its skin would split open along the back, and it would "shed" its human form and become a leaner, longer-limbed creature with a predatory disposition. It has an unhingeable jaw, like a snake, and very sharp teeth, as well as long claws. Basically, it's a nocturnal, human-hunting predator.
So, what do you think? Be honest; I don't want this one to end up like SCP-1050.

Last edited on 22 Dec 2011 17:39 by Doctor Borre + Show more

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

thedeadlymoose 21 Dec 2011 04:56

I really don't think this would work. Monstrous humanoid predators who can pose as humans is done a lot; you need an especially interesting twist to make it work. "Transforms when exposed to darkness" isn't one.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 21 Dec 2011 05:11

Such as..? I'm still pretty new at this; throw me a bone here.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Boulder Smolder 21 Dec 2011 05:18

One idea, Borre, is to find something that scares you. Think about what frightens you; heights? Disease? Dark closets? Drowning? War? Bees (OH NO NOT THE BEES)?

Then, find a creative way to connect that to the monster you already have. If you want to keep the darkness, for example, you could instead have the monsters transform by leeching energy from the surrounding electrical lights. Or if it's a fear of predators (The human kind), maybe it only transforms when the person it stalks fully trusts it. In both these cases, there's an extra element to separate it beyond the simple description, and one that can be explored further.

The creature itself sounds scary, but it needs something to set it apart, and the "exposure to darkness" is too simple and small a part. You could even keep that and instead have the monster try to smash and sabotage lights to speed up its transformation, which would at least show how clever it is.

Really, the idea just wants more.

Keep in mind that I'm also a newbie, so take these suggestions with a mountain of salt.

Last edited on 21 Dec 2011 05:23 by Boulder Smolder + Show more

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

thedeadlymoose 21 Dec 2011 06:17

One idea, Borre, is to find something that scares you.

Excellent advice.

The creature itself sounds scary

YMMV, but I don't find this creature scary. I find it cheesy. It could be scary in the right context, of course, but… yeah.

Such as..? I'm still pretty new at this; throw me a bone here.

Well, thing is, this isn't an idea that I would go with - for the reason I explained above - so it's hard to say what to suggest.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Lycan Therapy 15 Feb 2012 14:16

Wait… Don't we already have something which transforms into an evil predator in darkness?

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 21 Dec 2011 13:47

"The Doctor"
This SCP is vaguely similar to the last, but with a few nasty twists. In appearance, it's vaguely humanoid, but extremely emaciated, with very thin limbs. Its arms are unusually long, and are equipped with long, sharp claws. It lacks facial features, having only a pair of massive, glowing eyes. When any creature (humans included) makes eye contact with it, they become completely unable to move. This is when the Doctor does its work. It will use its claws to carefully and methodically dissect its victim, organizing the organs and other tissues according to some unknown criteria. Occasionally, it will even put the organs back almost as it found them; the victim, bizarrely, appears to survive this. However, the slight "mistakes" in replacing the organs inevitably result in a long, painful death.

Last edited on 21 Dec 2011 13:59 by Doctor Borre + Show more

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Dr Moran 21 Dec 2011 14:10

Sorry, newbie here, so I'm not really sure about this but is there not an SCP that is very similar to this already? I think it is SCP-212. It isn't exactly the same but the process of random invasive surgery resulting in the removal and replacement of organs seems a bit similar.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

ed_montague 21 Dec 2011 16:20

Plus SCP-049, SCP-542, and to a lesser extent SCP-890. All of them cut people open and make rearrangements. All of them are also explicitly stated to be "doctors" by profession. Granted, 890 doesn't always do it, but when he does…

The advice on choosing something that scares you is very good advice—however, the most common primal fears and phobias have already been taken (we've got over 1000 articles on this site), so you'll have to get creative. Either that, or have an interesting take on an idea that's already been beaten to death.

Last edited on 21 Dec 2011 16:27 by ed_montague + Show more

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 21 Dec 2011 20:04

"Gremlin"
The "Gremlin" is a small mammal resembling an aye-aye, and is probably related to it as well. However, it is very different when it comes to behavior. It displays an unnatural knowledge of machinery, and is capable of quickly sabotaging a machine to make it fail completely (and spectacularly). Basically, it's a hyperactive lemur with WAY too much mechanical know-how.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Photosynthetic 21 Dec 2011 20:33

It's just an old urban legend, with no particularly new or interesting twist. Needs some kind of hook.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

thedeadlymoose 21 Dec 2011 23:10

It's just an old urban legend, with no particularly new or interesting twist. Needs some kind of hook.

Yup, this. You can only get away with a 'straight' port of an urban legend if it's one most people don't know about yet will still find interesting, like SCP-1060.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 22 Dec 2011 13:39

"Colonial Corpse"
I'm actually quite fond of this idea. Basically, it resembles a human body, but is actually a collection of individual organisms. It uses its pungent odor to attract scavengers (and curious humans), which it then attacks by detaching its "hands", which deliver a powerful neurotoxin. The whole colony can break apart if needed, with each individual either helping to defend it or fleeing to a safer location. I have most of the organisms and their function worked out, but I don't really want to put too much text here so it doesn't become tl;dr.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

VAElynx 22 Dec 2011 18:54

we have a similar thingy, a worm that walks, basically

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 22 Dec 2011 19:11

I don't really see the comparison; although both are colonial and (roughly) humanoid, their behavior, "gimmick", and appearance are quite different.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

fooloftime 22 Dec 2011 19:53

But why is it scary?
Or if it's not scary what makes it interesting?

Maybe you should start with a central theme instead.

Stuff that's generally scary:
Things that are mundane or familiar yet wrong.
Things you can't quite percieve.
Being alone.
Something unfamiliar being present in familiar territory.
Dying horrible(Note this is different from dying violently).
Having something wrong with you(Disease, insanity, being slowly made inhuman…)
Being in malicious territories.
Children being threatened.

So if you apply that to the corpse, what makes it scary? Does it live in your room? Does it watch you when you sleep? Does it eat family members and wear their skin like a pajamas? Does it breed by laying eggs in people? Hell why does it attack humans in the first place? In fact how did such a creature come to be in the first place? Does it hide between the walls and only come out at night? I dunno, it feels like it needs a hook.

Last edited on 22 Dec 2011 19:54 by fooloftime + Show more

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 22 Dec 2011 20:18

I think an organism that looks like a corpse, but wants to eat you and is actually nothing like a human is scary in and of itself. Anyway, I've finished the rough draft of the article.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

fooloftime 23 Dec 2011 12:41

I quote:
Things that are mundane or familiar yet wrong.

Almost humans fall under this. Uncanny valley and all. Anyway. Criticisms.

Either he "closely resembles a human cadaver" or he "closely resembles a human that smells strongly of decayed and rotten flesh." It's contradictionary.

The picture. A lot of people might mistake it for 'it' from the Addams family. If it is from the Addams family movie I would refrain from using it.

The other bits are okay I believe. (Get a second opinion on this)

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 23 Dec 2011 13:39

It's a hand… Isn't "It" a big hairy thing? I don't see how you could mistake on for the other…
Anyway, I made a couple changes based on your advice. Thanks!

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

fooloftime 23 Dec 2011 21:25

Wait. It's The Thing isn't it? Gah, I can feel my geek cred falling.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 23 Dec 2011 22:08

No… It's just a hand. I edited it a bit though.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Emissary666 18 Jan 2012 03:17

No, it is the first image you get when you google "thing addams family" It is not on the first 6 pages of "disembodied hand", which is what I'd assume most would look at first, or "hand cut off at wrist", which is the second thing I'd assume someone to search. Either you're lying or your source is incorrect. In the future, stay far away from anything immediately recognizable from pop culture

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 18 Jan 2012 14:04

I was looking for a hand that looked like it was simply disconnected as opposed to being cut off of a wrist. I didn't want blood or anything like that.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 11 Jan 2012 17:29

"Someone You Know"
This is, in my opinion, a really creepy idea. This thing uses a memetic effect to create the illusion that it looks like someone a viewer knows and trusts. Not only that, but the viewer becomes completely convinced that it IS that person, even if there's huge amounts of evidence to the contrary. It uses this to get close to its victims. Other than that, it's your average "hunt you down and [DATA EXPUNGED]" monster.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Emissary666 18 Jan 2012 03:08

Other than that, it's your average "hunt you down and [DATA EXPUNGED]" monster.

This is a problem. If these words are ever in your initial concept/sell, you need to return to the drawing board/bash your head against a wall.
Other than that, it reminds me too much of the 4-dot Obfuscation discipline from Vampire: The Requiem. Assuming that we do not have an overwhelming population of VtR players, that should not be a problem.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 18 Jan 2012 14:06

I know that it's behavior is somewhat generic; but I like the idea of how it can completely convince someone that it's a trusted friend. I also have a "hook" in the addendum of the article, just to add that little bit of mystery to it.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 18 Jan 2012 19:53

"Ancient Dagger"

This SCP would be a knife that's REALLY old, predating all other known artificial tools. People who spend too much time around it feel a desire to touch it; if they do, then they become infected. There are multpiple stages on infection; at first, they just want to hold the knife and get very feverish. Eventually, they start developing powerful pyschoses, speaking in an unknown language and becoming homicidal. After that, their skin spontaneously develops tattoos of letters in the same language as they're speaking. They also become stronger, faster, and tougher than the average human, and express a desire to kill people and [DATA EXPUNGED] their hearts.

Last edited on 18 Jan 2012 19:58 by Doctor Borre + Show more

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Eskobar 18 Jan 2012 20:08

Any chance they might want to get into acting?

In summation: I wouldn't. Knives are done a lot, ancient knives are done most of all, and Ancient Knife What Make You Crazy And Fight Good is a recipe for disaster. One step above making it obsidian and covered in kittens. And something something bees punching sharks.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

vampyre_smiles 19 Jan 2012 07:39

It just sounds like it makes wannabe Ables… Only with less cool and maybe a small hint of Aztec flavor.

No. Just no.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 19 Jan 2012 13:42

Dangit, I KNEW that someone would mention Able… So much for this, then. What about Someone You Know? I think it has potential.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

vampyre_smiles 20 Jan 2012 05:40

Someone You Know is ok. That's all I can say about it. But it's hard to creep me out.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 09 Feb 2012 13:53

"Beesuit"

I like this idea, mostly because there are a plethora of images on the internet to go with it. Basically, it's a giant (6 ft. tall) wooden beehive, like the ones found in apiaries. When a living human comes into contact with the hive, a huge swarm of bees emerge and competely cover them. The "host" is still capable of breathing, seeing, hearing, and even smelling, despite the fact that they're completely cut off from the outside world. The bees provide significant protection against external forces; however, they plant a command in the host's mind compelling them to complete a specific task (usually one that benefits the hive). If the host is killed or accomplishes their goal, the bees fly back to the hive.

Last edited on 09 Feb 2012 17:21 by Doctor Borre + Show more

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Eskobar 09 Feb 2012 13:59

It's a good idea, if you take out the part where it's good for the host. Usefulness is not a good thing in an SCP. In fact, I would prefer the idea more if instead the bees made humans slavishly obey them, or something similar; the idea of a welt-covered, shrunken, starved man bringing live flowers to his beehive master is way creepier to me.

Also, in before "bees lol" or its equivalent.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Le_C5 09 Feb 2012 15:23

Conversely, you could simply have the bees staying there, not harming the host but not protecting it more than normal. And certainly not obeying the host's thoughts. Basically, the host walks around inside this coat of bees that will leave only at his death, and does not get any advantages for being a mobile hive.
This may look a bit too much like the Vermin God, though.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 09 Feb 2012 17:23

Thanks for your input! I was a bit worried that it was too positive for an SCP… Anyway, now it overrides your brain functions and makes you do "something". I figure that, as a hook, the bees' commands have become increasingly complex and unusual recently…

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Boulder Smolder 09 Feb 2012 18:36

As someone who is apiphobic, I'd still be scared if it was good for the host. The idea of being covered in bees constantly buzzing and crawling over my skin is probably my own Room 101.

I'd like the command idea if it was some sort of subtle change, or if the victims were still clearly aware of the horror of being covered in bees and feeling like you shouldn't move, yet you slowly walk to the flower shop and buy a few and you know that those things could sting you at any moment because you can't keep still and you smell only sweat and dead bees and JESUS CHRIST.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 08 Mar 2012 17:23

The victims are still completely aware of what's going on; they just can't do anything about it.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Uncandescent 09 Feb 2012 18:40

The best part about this is that you can find a picture of a guy covered in bees relatively easily.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 10 Feb 2012 03:26

To be more specific, the bees use their "stingers" to tap into the host's central nervous system and override control of their muscles (and maybe brain too' I haven't decided). However, some part of the host is still perfectly aware that they're covered in bees whose stingers are firmly embedded in their nerve endings.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

sefirosu200x 15 Feb 2012 01:33

Well, I am not sure if it's every species of bee that does it, but don't bees leave their stingers in when they they fly away, then die, or something?

Well, because of that you can indicate that attempting to remove the hive is entirely ineffective, because they will leave their stingers in. Also, even if all the bees were removed, the host would be paralyzed because the stingers aren't transmitting commands to move or anything.

Also, how would you walk into a store covered in bees, unless they somehow make themselves look like an actual suit?

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Boulder Smolder 15 Feb 2012 01:38

Most kinds of bees, like bumblebees, have smooth stingers and don't die after they sting. Honeybees die after they sting because their stingers are barbed and catch in the skin of the aggressor, ripping apart the bee's abdomen when it leaves.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 08 Mar 2012 17:22

Also, you have to remember that they're an SCP, not "real" bees. Who knows what kind of physiological differences they have.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

DrSkittles 08 Mar 2012 17:43

I like the Beesuit, but yeah. Maybe add something about the bees disguising themselves as a yellow and black suit to everyone around you, but you are still perfectly aware that the there are bees swarming around you. Don't add the 'bees control you to do things'. Keep it so that the bees command the person to do the commands (I'd prefer more of a telekinesis sort of path.). Honestly. I'd be much more afraid of that. (In a "ohfuckohfuckohfuckohshit they're gonna sting me" sort of way)

And maybe as a hook, the bees will form a hive in your body if you comply with their commands without hesitation (Meaning they don't kill you first)

Last edited on 08 Mar 2012 17:46 by DrSkittles + Show more

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 08 Mar 2012 19:48

Actually, I was thinking that the hook would be that the hive as a whole is intelligent, and has its own motives for what it does.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 30 Mar 2012 16:43

The first draft of "Covered in Bees" is done! Go take a look please!

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

DrSkittles 30 Mar 2012 16:53

Fixed 2 things

First one was a tone problem in the log

Second one was the "Betty images" in the corner of the picture. Cut that part out and replaced it.

I personally think it's SCP worthy right now, but I suggest waiting for more criticism.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 30 Mar 2012 17:09

Thanks ! (Please don't change things without my permission though. It's okay in this instance, but try to avoid it in the future.)

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

DrSkittles 30 Mar 2012 18:41

Heh, sorry.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Raven Mackenzie 30 Mar 2012 21:09

You are suppose to create a SINGLE sandbox page using your name as the title, not a separate page for each of your SCP ideas. Try not to clutter up the sandbox so much in the future.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Raven Mackenzie 30 Mar 2012 21:12

The tone seems ever so slightly off, as if it were not 100% clinical. The main things that really bother me are a) the clumsy expungement at the end, which doesn't creep me out at all but mainly just makes me roll my eyes at the suggestion that it's yet another SCP that somehow knows way too much about the Foundation, and b) the far-too-casual conversational tone. Personally, it would be a hell of a lot creepier if the affected host either spoke in a way that suggested it was being massively influenced, or if the SCP were speaking through it, thinks in a way that is alien to our self-centric mindset.

Oh, and why is the beehive itself -1? Unless the hive itself is anomalous, you should be referring to the bees as simply SCP-XXX.

Re: Dr. Borre's SCP Ideas Thread

Doctor Borre 30 Mar 2012 23:06

The beehive is "bonded" to the bees… It's kinda like Able and his coffin. Anyway, your input has been duly noted (and changes made). Thank you!

Last edited on 30 Mar 2012 23:34 by Doctor Borre + Show more

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