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Summary deletions result for:
SCP-4000, summarily deleted because the SCP-4000 contest has not ended, began, or indeed even been announced and likely will not for years, with ARD, EC, and Quik witnessing in unison. Which I suppose makes me Frankie Valli here.
SCP-3760 is visually nearly identical to a standard bear trap produced by ██████; however, it possesses no identifiable manufacturer's markings. SCP-3760's anomalous properties are observed whenever any form of organic matter is caught by it.
Deleted at -14 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
I can see how much work went into this…
It's solidly written, but I was inclined to no-vote, as I don't think it goes far enough in any particular direction; a bear trap that lures people, turns invisible, summons a monster to bring the prey to them, and eats the victim until they're dust all boils down to an "over the top version" of what a bear trap already does.
What got me to downvote was, very specifically, the repeated "data expunged" instead of what the thing actually does to people when it gets mad. It comes off very strongly like you couldn't think of anything yourself and are trying to get the reader to do that work for you. I would've been okay with anything, even the thing just levitating and beating people to death with itself — but to so repeatedly expunge something that doesn't seem to need expunging at all comes off as lazy.
I also didn't care for the lolfoundation-y chainsaw test on the D-class and subsequent notes; you either brutally murder d class without thought or you don't; to do it and then add a light-hearted memo saying "boy, that was unnecessary" is pretty jarring.
I could easily come back to neutral on this with some minor changes, but I think the idea itself needs some kind of twist or extra element for me to upvote it. The technical side of your writing is solid, though, and the amount of work you put in does show through.
SCP-3208 is presumed to be a World War Two era, German submersible U-Boat currently in route toward Earth, underway from Saturn. Class Type VIIC submarine. SCP-3208 Is measured at 67.10 meters in length by 9.6 meters in height with a beam width of 6.2 meters as well as a 4.74 meter draught. The designation U-376 is observable by white painted markings on the outside of the Hull, towards the bow of the vessel as well as the 1943 German Nazi Flag on both sides of the sail. SCP-3208 Is thought to be the same U-376, a German U-boat of Germany’s Kriegsmarine, commissioned in October 16, 1939, launched on July 10, 1941, that was reported missing since April 13, 1943 along the Bay of Biscay. SCP-3208 was discovered on September 5th,1986 by embedded personnel at ████████ Observatory in ██████, Iowa. Externally, SCP-3208 Is observed as having; two 1.23 meter long propellers, or screws. Five 53.3 cm diameter torpedo tubes, four fitted at the bow, with one on the stern. One 8.8 cm SK C/35 Naval Gun and one 2 cm C/30 anti-aircraft gun, both of which are located along the deck. At the bridge of the sail, stands a torch, or light, used for Morse code communication. It is currently unknown how SCP-3208 arrived at its current position and is currently traveling through the void of space without proper propulsion systems. Neither, is it apparent how SCP-3208 and its apparent crew have survived without adequate life support systems, supplies, or refueling.
Deleted at -16 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
There's not really much here that's interesting or unique. It's just a Nazi sub in space. Most of the description is devoted to describing what a submarine looks like; you could've simplified that whole bit to "SCP-3208 appears to be a standard Class Type VIIC German U-Boat."
Make sure you read How to Write an SCP, write drafts in the sandbox, then post to the forums/IRC and get a good amount of feedback before posting to the mainlist, there are a lot of simple issues with this that would've been caught quickly.
Best of luck!
SCP-3331 appears as a tall, fox-like creature. It is 237.5 centimeters (93.3071 inches) in height. It's elongated arms and legs are used for increased speed and mobility. SCP-3331 has a semi-muscular frame and biped body type. It has thick reddish fur with eggshell white portions in the same places an average fox would have. It's elongated snout and teeth appear to be for nearly effortless destruction of it's prey.
Deleted at -16 and three votes. Pending rewrite by Neko Girl 13.
SCP-3994 [Codenamed: Paradise Helmet] is a helmet made of some unknown metal, it is of inconsistent size as it quickly adjusts to whomever attempts to wear it. Once it is on someone's head the visors on the front glow a faint blue and the person wearing it immediately falls unconscious for exactly 8 hours, the user is unable to wake up or be woken up without removing the helmet, summarily deleted at -7 due to improper self-delete. tretter witnessed.
Feedback ported:
Cool image, but I'm almost certain it isn't CC compliant and it's pretty much the only thing going for this right now.
SCP-3068 appears to be a wax statue from a museum wearing clothes from the year 1349 and shows signs of the bubonic plague. it is animate and very infectious Addendum: SCP-3068-1 It has killed 7 class d in one week in the facility Addendum: SCP-3068-2 It has requested a rather odd object, a pineapple, it was given two (2) pineapples it appeared to eat both after removing its gloves, -40 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
This is essentially 049 with lower-quality writing, a self-insert, and none of the charm or intrigue of the original. There's no narrative, numerous grammatical errors and a tone-breaking note at the end.
-1 with a passion.
A few things immediately stand out here that you may want to consider before giving this one another go!
Beyond these things, the SCP isn't doing much to set itself apart from other corrupting humanoids. There are a lot of SCPs that make people sick, by will or on accident. To stand out in the field you will want to add something more narratively interesting than just describing the skips' behavior. If you read through the Series III and Series IV stuff, you will find that the typical standards for a successful article have a narrative bend, and go well beyond simply describing the effects or behaviors of the SCP.
Overall I think it would probably be good for you to seek out some help from the site's forums. Brainstorming is best done in groups, and you can get a sense of how the community will feel about an idea before you post it!
SCP-3068 closely resembles SCP-049 as a plague doctor
… SCP-049 already looks like a plague doctor. The only thing it apparently lacks is the hat they sometimes wore to complete the look. And that's assuming the photo used for 049 will not be removed if it's not CC 3.0 compliant.
-1
By blanking the line in the interview, you got rid of the only possibly interesting thing in the article. My biggest beef with this isn't the spelling and grammar errors, or the inspiration from an existing skip, but the lack of anything interesting.
Alright, i read this earlier, but it changed..? Anywho.
Firstly, there is little to no description here, whatsoever. All you've told us is that it's an old statue. No detail on its origin, no detail on a lot, really.
Second, there is no need for the collapsible, the 'SCP-3068 File' thingy, or the note at the end. especially the note, that kind of thing is for here in the forums.
Third, there are numerous grammar issues. The majority of the problems are with the fact that sentences aren't capitalized, and what are 3068-1 and -2?
Fourth. From a writing perspective, this doesn't grab me whatsoever. We have dozens of animate statues that have a unique hook, such as SCP-492, SCP-847, and SCP-980. This needs more material.
Fifth, and final criticism. A good majority of this isn't clinical at all. Don't use colorful words, use normal, bland words. No more or no less then what it needs. Also, get critique in the forums. We have the Drafts and critiques forum, and it is very useful. It'll take a looong time, but by the end you should have a well written article.
SCP-3089 have been discovered by an Agent when a mysterious death occured. SCP-3089 is a standart necklace made of silver and steel, bearing a dolomite of weight 5.2 grams. Dolomite is placed within round circle if silver, which is completely connected to the silver string without option to remove it, -31 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
Why isn't the page titled SCP-3089? Why isn't this written with the same format as a normal SCP? This whole essay-
how do I say it? It doesn't flow quite coherently.
Author, this is a non-standard layout, which is appearing to immediately dissuade readers from carrying on and commencing to downvote this article.
In addition, there are multiple issues with this articles, including word usage and grammar, the lack of detail or story with respect to the object and its containment, and lack of specific data, including object classification. In the future, please request feedback for potential articles via the critique and drafts forum, or on the IRC network in #site19.
-1
Author, I suspect that English isn't your first language. Did you know there are SCP wikis for many different languages? They can be found here:
This is very hard to read due to the numerous grammatical and spelling errors. I agree with Abettik's comment above: It reads like something written by someone with a less than ideal command of English. If that's the case you would have much better luck writing in your native language.
SCP-3984 Is a Small sheet of A4 standard Paper with a Dark Background, Besides hands Pressed against it. The hands are Indeed Sentient. And, Can somehow understand Intellect, And can Understand Any speech known upon Mankind. Sadly, Not able to Translate normal Speech most Humans Can't comprehend, -23 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
SCPs are, at their core, narratives masked by scientific documents; i.e., SCP articles are stories in themselves. From a brisk scan of the article, I'd recommend generally improving your grammar (random capitalisation?), reading Series III and Series IV articles to understand the recent standards of the site, utilising the free provided sandbox and reading the guides provided.
There are numerous punctuation, capitalization and grammar problems, and there is almost a complete lack of clinical tone. And what exactly is "Standard Item Storage Procedure?" It just sounds like you slapped it on there as an excuse to write less.
As a last note: I'm pretty sure this should be classified as Safe, not Euclid. It's really just an inert object that won't break out on its own.
Next time, get feedback and critique before posting and your article might fare better.
SCP-3417 is a humanoid entity which emits light on the average of 75,000 lumens. Measurements are approximately 150 cm tall (estimated, as the brightness of the entity's light emissions make visual confirmation difficult), and 41 kg in weight. Thermographic imaging shows its body temperature to be at 500 degrees Celsius, -14 and three staff votes.
Feedback ported:
The tone in certain places is shaky, and there are goofs in language; for example, we have "Euclid." with a full stop at the end, and "spill as much blood as possible" is too informal-sounding to be in an SCP document which is supposed to sound professional and scientific.
On top of that, the humanoid itself is not very interesting, overpowered, and edgy, especially when so much focus is placed on how it is deadly and can kill so many people. In addition, I found its simplistic dialogue too cheesy to take seriously. I would deem it more suitable for a -J or humorous mainlister than a mainlist SCP with a more serious tone.
In my opinion, you still need more feedback on this. The chat is a great place to have more people look at your draft. You can get tone polished up more quickly, as well as have ideas tossed at you on how to make your SCP better.
SCP-3613 is a meteorite of approximately 1.2m in length— summarily deleted after failed self-delete at -8, Joreth witnessing.
SCP-1337-J is a Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG that is functionally and visually indistinguishable from a non-anomalous Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG. Analysis of SCP-1337-J's components show that SCP-1337-J possesses all the mechanical and technical features of a regular Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG. Instances of SCP-1337-J are also fully drive-able. The engine performance of SCP-1337-J are also indistinguishable from that of a regular Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG.
Deleted at -19 and three votes.
SCP-3306 is a ███████ brand computer monitor, of model ███-████. It has a single
HDMI port and power cable, which are compatible with most devices. When plugged
into a computer or other video-outputting object, it functions normally and displays no anomalous properties.
Deleted at -21 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
This is simply a description of a magical object that does something dangerous. You expunge details nonsensically, and then you give a pointless interview which merely confirms that the object is dangerous. Among other issues, you have class-D personnel killed for no reason, blackboxes in places they don't need to be, and overly complex containment procedures which can be boiled down to "a standard containment chamber lined with lead". Articles need narratives- stories to made the object interesting and to engage the readers. What emotion do you want your reader to feel? How can you make your object interesting? -1
SCP-3112 is a small, plastic lantern with a recorded height of 6.5 inches. The lantern possesses a very powerful LED light bulb that can reach a luminosity of 550 candles. On the body of the lantern is a dial that is used to adjust the luminosity of the bulb. There are no company logos or clues of origin anywhere on the lantern.
Deleted at -19 and three votes. Rewrite by Decibelles pending.
Feedback Ported:
I was immediately struck by this article. It's an lamp that just makes you "age faster", and that entire section does not have the clinical tone needed to make that execution intriguing or even make one think about its background. You have phrases such as:
However, if someone, or something, makes physical contact with the light of SCP-3112, their overall aging process of the exposed personnel is significantly increased.
and
Some people can age from a period of three months to as much as 50 years in the span of minutes of making contact with the light the lantern releases when it is activated.
That are not only unscientific, but also vague. How does the Foundation track stuff like that? The body ages in such a way that tracking such a thing as "aging 50 years" would be impossible, in the scientific sense. The way it's written comes off as someone who had the nucleus of an idea and rushed to write it. But still, it's a good starting point.
What really got me was actually the second paragraph. Specifically:
When SCP-3112 is turned on, the light is described as "Heavenly" and "pleasing to the eyes". Even when the lantern is at full luminosity, the glow of the bulb does not appear to strain the eyes of anyone who make direct visual contact with the bulb itself.
This sets my gears in motion despite the article being lackluster otherwise. And a million different things come to mind, and the more I hone in on a lantern that people are entranced by, the more I think about a certain and definitive point of origin for it.
Therefore, I'd like to request to rewrite this article. I will contact the author.
SCP-3994 is a website that is leaking highly classified data so that the public knows about all SCPs and their danger. Although quite a philanthropic effort, it is classified for a reason. Staff members providing contributions to this page is grounds for termination with EXTREME prejudice.
Deleted at -24 and three votes.
SCP-8888-J is an anomaly in Ha Noi, Vietnam, that affects certain motor vehicles (cars, motorcycles, and trucks, but not buses) and their occupants. The anomaly has two components, denoted SCP-8888-J-1 and SCP-8888-J-2.
Deleted at -17 and three votes.
SCP-3068 is an male of the age of █7. He easily gets aggressive, which can in fact make anyone close enough to feel very unsafe. SCP-3068 is a humanoid. When looking at SCP-3068 for over 5 (five) seconds, He will start moving very slowly towards the subject. The speed of SCP-3068 is almost unseeable, until he rises his first foot. When he is close enough the subject, he will start to make deadly moves, same as agents like ██████ or [REDACTED] uses in missions.
Deleted at -25 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
None of this makes any sense, on any level.
Object Class: Euclid (propably getting keter)
Spelling error, nonexistent clinical tone.
SCP-3068 must be kept in a large atleast an 3-star hotel room
In a hotel room? And "atleast" should be "at least".
in an facility,
in a hotel room in a facility?
with food and water for about 2 (two) to 4 (four) weeks.
It can't be fed daily?
SCP-3068 needs books to read, always. However, SCP-3068 does not need to "do his things", so he doesnt need toilets or bathrooms.
"do his things"…?
SCP-3068 needs a wash basine.
basine?
SCP-3068's supplies must be refilled when theres not much left.
Define "not much left." And I think that probably goes without saying anyway.
When the year is 2019-20██ (check year log to see this here: ->1), no fewer than level-4 clearance is allowed until the end of years2<-.
Indecipherable.
SCP-3068 does not get to eat or drink for over 3 (three) times.
What?
SCP-3068 is an male of the age of █7.
Why would the first part of his age be backed out but not the second?
He easily gets aggressive, which can in fact make anyone close enough to feel very unsafe.
That's called "human nature."
SCP-3068 is a humanoid. When looking at SCP-3068 for over 5 (five) seconds, He will start moving very slowly towards the subject. The speed of SCP-3068 is almost unseeable, until he rises his first foot.
Unseeable? Rises his first foot?
At 196█3<-, one of the SCP search patrols (█████) found SCP-3068 reading in a forest. The search patrol decided to leave him, But Dr.████ wanted to take and test him4<- at site-██, in case it was something with him.
This is gibberish both on a grammatical level and narrative level. An SCP search patrol(?) finds someone reading in a forest and they capture him?
Several tests have been made in little changes for more information.
What does this mean?
And so on and so on.
I'm guessing English is your second language. Whilst your English is absolutely way better than anything I could ever hope to achieve with a second language, that isn't enough on this site, and the problems with this article go beyond simple spelling/grammar issues - the narrative isn't there, the internal logic isn't there and the reader engagement - the "why should I care about this?" isn't there either.
In my opinion.
SCP-3190 is a phenomenon that is caused when a fire is lit within the grounds of ██████████ Park. Depending on the reason for lighting the fire will cause various anomalous effects, all of which are highly fatal depending on how they are handled. SCP-3190 was brought to the foundation's attention when reports of various domesticated farm animals were appearing with high counts of corpses that have either exploded from the stomach, frozen to death in the middle of summer and other unexplained deaths.
Deleted at -16 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
I fixed the title and some formatting errors for you, author.
There are several reasons that I voted -1. First, and most obvious, are the various spelling, grammar, and capitalization problems in the article. Your tenses don't match, and random nouns are capitalized for seemingly no reason. It would be difficult to read if these were the only issues, but it is almost impossible to get through this because of the lack of distinction between different sections. It is all a bit "wall of text-y" if you catch my meaning. Perhaps you could put the experiment logs in quote blocks and bold the introductory text to make it more appealing?
SCP-3366 is a █████ brand grill. It has 6 burners and measures 1.5m x .5m x 1m. An inscription on the back reads "New quik cook technology allows faster cooking for the modern person of 2055". Even though according to this inscription it is from the future it is physically identical to a standard model today. It uses propane to cook food and therefore will not function without it. SCP-3366 is made of an unknown alloy. When SCP-3366 is kept indoors for longer than 30 minutes it will vanish, then reappear outdoors at the closest possible spot. It's reasons for doing this are currently unknown (See Incident 3366-A).
Deleted at -19 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
The grammar and tone need a bit of work, but this needs more than a couple of minor touch-ups; the concept needs some refinement. there's a couple of unrelated effects cluttering things up here, when "grill that makes addictive food when damaged" is imo the core you should focus on. The part that sealed the downvote for me personally was the random 682 crosstest.
I'm going to echo the comments above in suggesting that you check out the writing help forums; I can see that you want your SCP to be good, so why not let them help you?
SCP-3116, or the Trick Keycard, is an object which looks like a Keycard. It can come in all forms of keycards,from a common keycard(room card)to a keycard exclusive to certain people(security keycard), or it may not even look like a keycard for the area it is in. This keycard does multiple things. It may explode when used, and the explosion is the size of 3 C4 explosives. Another thing that may happen is it may flash brightly or make a loud noise, either temporarily blinding or deafening the user, or alerting other hostile creatures/humanoids. On rare occasion, the keycard will work regularly. If the keycard explodes, it always appears somewhere near that explosion. People believe it can teleport, too, as there is no other way to escape the area. There is two accurate ways to classify this object. One way is that it will not have the company logo, which is bad for any companies with small logos, or none at all. Another way is that you may find it in an odd place.
Deleted at -22 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
So essentially it's a keycard that explodes and shapeshifts a bit? The base concept is boring, there isn't a narrative to speak of, the dialogue is wooden and only repeats previously stated information, the repeated mention of an "omni-card" sounds like something out of a cartoon, and the overall prose quality and clinical tone are extremely lacking.
Author, I recommend that you read the How to Write an SCP Guide and other articles in our Guide Hub carefully, as well as reading some series 4 articles to get a sense of modern writing standards for this site.
DNA testing shows that SCP-3084-A and SCP-3084-B are siblings. SCP-3084 is 16.002 meters in height, SCP-3084 weighs 28.6 kg. Bodies are coincident to that of a 9-10-year-old homo-sapiens child. Heads are coincident of adult Cervidae. The true age of SCP-3084 is unknown. SCP-3084-A has very acute senses of sight, while its other senses appear to dulled and not as responsive. SCP-3084-B, similar to SCP-3084-A, only the hearing senes is the one that is heightened.SCP-3084 does not speak nor make any sounds of communication.
Deleted at -24 and three votes.
SCP-3127 is a black, humanoid organism with what looks like ink covering everywhere on its body except its face. On its face is a white mask with a smile on it. SCP-3127 had an inky tentacle that it uses to consume its prey. SCP-3127 has an apparent hatred for all life, even its own.
Deleted at -36 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
Down boat
First off, the formatting is critically wrong. It should be like this:
Item #: SCP-3127
Object Class: Keter
Special Containment Procedures: [Whatever containment procedures it requires]
Description: [A description of the thing]
Addendum: [Additional information]
and not like in the article.
Unless you intend to write a deliberate format screw, in which you can funk up the format as much as you need, you ought to follow the standard SCP format. That way, your article will not break your readers' immersion.
The language in here is also poor in quality, often vague and frequently exhibiting inappropriately non-clinical tone. Examples of this include:
SCP-3127 has an apparent hatred for all life, even its own.
Very emotionally charged writing, not fit for a SCP document. Also, how does the Foundation reliably determine this? In my opinion, this fact would surely be better off revealed in an interview, or implied through test logs or incident logs.
SCP-3127 kills all that it sees and is very dangerous.
How are we supposed to determine that it kills all it sees and not maybe 85% of what it sees? It seems like an assumption and/or exaggeration. This sort of language is emotionally charged, unclear, and has no place in a SCP document. In addition, "dangerous" could be traded out for "hostile" or "aggressive" - it sounds less emotional and more tonally appropriate.
The standard tone used in SCP articles is a clinical, clear, and deadpan one, because the Foundation is a scientific organization. Also, being not vague is good as your readers will understand what you are talking about.
The interview log is nearly pointless and adds basically nothing useful, on top of being tonally inappropriate.
Conceptually, this is all over the place. The anomalous effects are random and don't add up to anything that makes sense. It's a humanoid wearing a mask. It has tentacles. It's boolletprooof. It's got this thing with humidity levels. It can become invisible. It has supposedly existed since the Beginning of Time. It has superb memory. And it…well, yeah, you get the idea. This makes the SCP boring because it feels like the idea was poorly thought out. It feels like a generic creepypasta monster, nothing more.
I'd suggest tweaking the anomalous effects to feel more thematically coherent, along with fleshing out narrative and characterization in order to make this work out. I would also recommend going to the forums or chat for input from fellow authors to help make this idea better.
SCP-2856 is a comforter, navy blue in color, with stripes in various shades of blue. SCP-2856's anomalous properties manifest when eye contact is made by a sentient being. Upon seeing SCP-2856, subject who viewed it will face an irresistible compulsion to move towards, inspect, and admire SCP-2856's color, texture, and how comfortable it is. After admiring SCP-2856 for between 45 and 120 seconds, subjects will get under SCP-2856, and sleep on the bed it is placed upon, and immediately become comatose. No means of waking a subject sleeping in SCP-2856 has been discovered, and will even continue sleeping if removed from the bed. After 2-3 hours, subject's vital functions will cease instantaneously, and the subject will be rendered dead.
Deleted at -18 and three votes.
SCP-3162 appears to be a dark red brick. SCP-3162 has the ability to disappear, and reappear in any location that has a direct line of sight on it. In some cases, SCP-3162 attempted to free other SCPs by relocating itself onto control consoles. In some cases, SCP-3162 succeeded in freeing other SCPs while it was being transported to its containment unit at Site 19. It will attempt to break lights, and other objects that could be broken with a common brick to cause chaos, supposedly for an easier escape.
Deleted at -21 and three votes.
Feedback Ported:
First off, don't name your article, "Scp 3162: The Disappearing Brick", just simply address it as, "SCP-3162".
SCP-3162: The Disappearing Brick
Please do not include your title (The Disappearing Brick) into the article. That is an Out of Universe title, and should not be present in the article.
Next, while you do have the basic format down, it is not bolded. Things like, "Item#" ,"Special Containment Procedures", etc are to be bolded.
SCP-3162 appears to be[…]
Don't start out with "SCP-XXXX appears to[…]". The description in the SCP article should always start out as, "SCP-XXXX is[…]".
In some cases, SCP-3162 attempted to free other SCPs by relocating itself onto control consoles. In some cases, SCP-3162 succeeded in freeing other SCPs while it was being transported to its containment unit at Site 19.
These two sentences should probably be the same sentence. Also, when referring to other SCPs in the article, do not address them as "the SCP", use "other anomalous objects" or something like that.
So, there are a lot of clinical tone errors in the article. I suggest you reading Clinical Tone Declassified to get a better grasp on clinical tone.
The anomaly here is pretty boring really. It's just a brick that kills people. That's it. There's no narrative here to keep the reader interested. These days, Series III and Series IV articles need a narrative and something interesting within.
Here are some examples of articles so you can get a basic grasp on what is expected in newer articles:
I'm sorry if I sounded harsh, but this needs to be worked on. Good luck author!
SCP-3244 is a Black-Wooden Cane object, measuring at 87.5 cm in Length and 2.7 cm in Width. The cane also features a Red-Orb object that is kept and held by a detailed design of a Silver-Goblin.
Deleted at -20 and three votes.
SCP-3457 is a coke bottle infected with a parasite from an unknown origin and genus. SCP-3457 Was found in an abandoned village by the name of Les████ in the country of Macedonia. If SCP-3457 is within a 5 m radius of the subject, the subject will experience nausea and extreme wish of drinking the substance. The more the exposure the more wish to drink the substance. After the subject has drank the substance 5 minutes in he will expirience extreme blister creation and paralyzation. 10 minutes after the exposure the coke bottle will extract tubes from inside the bottle and will start to attach to the subjects blisters, at this point the subject becomes colorless and all fat tissues and muscle tissue gets sucked out and the only thing that is visible is skin and bones, At this point the subject is dead and starts vaporizing after that the coke bottle refills its liquid (most likely from the subjects tissues).
Deleted at -19 and four votes.
Feedback Ported:
Hey author, let's take a look at some of the issues that caused your work to fall into the negatives, this critique is meant purely as constructive criticism and should not be percieved as a personal attack on you or your writing skills.
Item #: SCP-3457
Status: Classified
There is no point in making an article "Classified", in case you want to specify what clearance is necessary, be sure to take a look into Security Clearance Levels. Keep in mind that SCP Files are meant to be easily accessible documents that can be scanned through in a hurry in case there's a containment breach of the titular, even if the SCP you're writing about isn't capable of breaching containment for one reason or another there's no point in keeping information about it's anomalous properties away from general Foundation staff.
Object Class: Euclid
From what I've seen of it, your SCP feels like more of a -Safe than an -Euclid class, remember, -Safe classifications do not mean that the anomaly is incapable of causing harm, only that it does not exhibit any unpredictable properties while in containment, Euclids are generally beings that exhibit some form of autonomy or sapience, 3457 exhibits neither of those.
Special Containment Procedures: SCP-3457 needs to be contained 5 x 5 x 5 m chamber, with full radiated air in the chamber that will stop the liquid from regenerating.
Some grammar issues appear from this point foward, remember to read our entries on Clinical Tone and Technical Words for instructions on how to properly emulate the Foundation's standard writing style.
In addition, exact measurements of chambers and the sort are generally to be avoided unless the anomaly contained within specifically requires them, for example, would 3457 be any more dangerous or unpredictable if kept in a 4 x 4 x 4 chamber instead?
Description: SCP-3457 is a coke bottle infected with a parasite from an unknown origin and genus. SCP-3457 Was found in an abandoned village by the name of Les████ in the country of Macedonia. If SCP-3457 is within a 5 m radius of the subject, the subject will experience nausea and extreme wish of drinking the substance. The more the exposure the more wish to drink the substance. After the subject has drank the substance 5 minutes in he will expirience extreme blister creation and paralyzation. 10 minutes after the exposure the coke bottle will extract tubes from inside the bottle and will start to attach to the subjects blisters, at this point the subject becomes colorless and all fat tissues and muscle tissue gets sucked out and the only thing that is visible is skin and bones, At this point the subject is dead and starts vaporizing after that the coke bottle refills its liquid (most likely from the subjects tissues).
Same issues with grammar in the description, in particular, you might want to break up that wall of text into several smaller ones, any information about the anomaly's recovery might be kept in a "Recovery Log" addendum located below the description, though that is not required.
Finally, the main problem with your article is the lack of any narrative format, keep in mind that just being a "thing what does X" requires an incredible amount of creative drive and writing prowess in order to survive in the Main Page, otherwise it could simply be moved to the Log of Anomalous Items, I suggest that you add some more extensive backstory or Experiment Log if you intend to keep 3457 as is.
At last, your current Experiment Log possesses formatting issues, as all addendums to the main page should be kept inside a Quotation Block with dialogue separated by line breaks, be sure to check the formatting tab on How to Write an SCP for more information on that. In addition, your dialogue appears clunky and uses mostly outdated terms such as "terminated" that really shouldn't appear outside of descriptions, I suggest that you mostly avoid direct dialogue in your first few articles as it takes quite a lot of experience to be able to write convincing conversations.
Overall, your article needs some major revisions to be able to survive as is, I suggest getting some feedback at the forums before posting something like this. In addition, it can help asking for a Collab with a more experienced writers for your drafts, just remember that no one is obliged to do as you say.
I hope I was able to clear up any worries you might have had when witnessing the negative reception, remember that the Foundation expects a lot of quality from its writers, especially in its current state, but don't let that discourage you, just keep on trying and improving your writing skills until you reach that threshold, it won't be an easy path ahead, but one that you must overcome.
Good Luck.
SCP-3920 is a small pocket watch with a gold exterior and a missing minute hand. When the dial is turned, a yellow, nausea inflicting gas seeps out of the object's interior.
Deleted at -23 and four votes.
SCP-2873 is an anomalous species of cavendish banana (musa acuminata). Despite non-anomalous banana stalks growing a singular set of berries instances of SCP-2873 display the ability to grow new berries every two (2) months. Once an instance of SCP-2873 has entered adulthood (4-6 years), instance begins to harden starting from roots until it reaches to the stalks. At this point it becomes nearly impossible to neutralize an instance of SCP-2873. Research is ongoing to the lifespan of SCP-2873 with oldest instance estimated to be 5██ years old.
Deleted at -14 and four votes.
Feedback Ported:
-1
These are essentially bananas that make people go crazy and die. At where it currently is, it's trite, insufficiently developed, and unsuitable for the mainlist. You'll need to make this object a lot more than just a cursed item which causes assorted mental illnesses and death in order to make it succeed as an article. You can do so by tweaking the anomalous effects to be more unique, adding a narrative element to the article, etc.
If you require some help with generating ideas, the Ideas & Brainstorming forums and the IRC chat are great places to seek input from fellow authors who would be more than willing to help you develop your idea and look through your drafts.
SCP-3068 is a humanoid figure, standing exactly 2.26 Meters (7 Foot, 5 inches) in height. Subject has basic human facial features (Eyes, nose, mouth) but is missing ears. Subjects skin tone is a dull yellow in color. Medical tests performed after capture found no blood or organs of any type. Subject does contain a detectable nervous system. Subject has no sexual organs and displays seven (7) fingers on each hand.
Deleted at -23 and three votes.
SCP-3152 is a humanoid entity standing 2.4 m tall, wearing a bauta mask and tricorne. In typical sightings of SCP-3152, the entity is wearing all-black robes, although some slight variations have been recorded.
Deleted at -11 and four votes.
Feedback Ported:
For me, It's not that this SCP uses real-life tradgedies. It's that almost nothing interesting happens. There's only a very slight implication that this SCP may be feeding off of human misery, but in-context, it could just be using "digestion" in reference to information- taking it all in and trying to understand it.
The narrative basically boils down to "There are a seried of infamous events where people died. This SCP was there and watched. The end."
Yeah, that's really creepy.
The images, I mean. I did a double take when I saw the Kennedy shot. They're really good. Of course I don't really expose myself to professional photoshop work on - a basis, but they fooled me, which is good enough for me. I don't have any problems with the writing - it seems that the main issue here is that the content is centred solely around this being essentially Mothman but also Slenderman. I can't say I wasn't disturbed by the wham line, which was quite decent, and in general I just enjoyed the article, to a point, but I can certainly see why it might be perceived as boring. It doesn't go anywhere in particular beyond the basic premise, and I guess at heart it really ends up whether that's enough for the reader. In my case, it actually was - so, +1.
I do hope you revisit this in the future. It's pretty cool.
