Any personal attempting to go into the cell will be terminated if they are showing signs of hostility
This is pretty much understood; if you're now allowed in there, guards are going to stop you. It makes more sense to say something like "access to containment cell is permitted only with level 4 approval" or something.
SCP-XXXX Appears to be a normal blanket, blue in color, and is 39x75 inches in size (1x1.9 meters) SCP-XXXX currently is contained at Site-██
Just report it in meters, no need to use inches.
These actions during these fights seem like engaging each other with fists, kicking, sometimes even tearing off [REDACTED] in the process
This redacted doesn't seem to serve a useful purpose, it's clearly just covering up the name of a bodypart.
If security is present, both subjects are to be terminated immediately
That belongs in the containment procedures, not the description.
There skin proceeds to turn bright red and hunt down the subject who took the blanket.
First, that's the wrong 'there', you want to be using 'their'. Secondly, having their skin literally turn red is goofy and off tone.
Testing is going on to see if SCP-XXXX and SCP-008 are similar in how they work.
This crosslink does't really add anything.
Anywho, line-specific nitpicks aside, I see two main issues with this.
First, the tone is all over the place. Lots of the sentences feel very conversational, and use imprecise terminology. Some examples:
Anything strange found or encountered inside the cell are to be told to a Site Director or high-class personal.
- Anything strange isn't a useful descriptor; if there's something specific they should be looking out for, it should explicitly say it.
- "are to be told" is awkwardly worded. You could easily restructure the sentence to avoid this (see example below)
- Each site typically has one director
- "high class personnel" is too vague a descriptor. Also, that word should be "personnel", not "personal"
With that said, here's a better way to phrase that sentence:
"Inform Site Director or Level-4 or higher personnel immediately if unauthorized personnel or materials are found within SCP-XXXX's containment chamber."
Another example:
When these attacks do happen and no security is present to stop it, one of the subjects always seems to have fatal injuries, or come out badly wounded.
This could easily be cleaned up to:
"Conflict between instances of SCP-XXXX-1 typically results in the serious injury or death of one or both instances."
Another:
Subjects who have been in contact with SCP-XXXX for more then 2 days seem to go insane
"Seem" isn't a great word to use in clinical writing (if you want to use it, you can use "appears" instead, it sounds better). "Go insane" also is too vague/general. Better would be:
"Subjects in contact with SCP-XXX for more than 2 days enter a state of irreversible psychosis" (or something to that effect).
There's a lot of other places that need work, but hopefully these examples give you an idea of what to look for.
